


Our Only Symphony

by Lssimpson999



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, 5SOS - Freeform, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 153,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lssimpson999/pseuds/Lssimpson999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danielle Walker along with her brother, Nathan Walker are shipped off to their father's house in a small town located in California by their mother. </p><p>If she was being honest, she didn't want to be here, neither did she want to be at her mothers. After their divorce she stopped doing anything and everything that she loved. She even stopped believing in love ; she couldn't anymore. She hated the word and everything it stood for. Love is an allusion, an illusion. Love only exists to make money for movies, books and songs. </p><p>She had a plan for the summer - to get out of that house and go back to her real home. But to do that, she needed to survive in her personal hell for two months. But life doesn't always go as planned. </p><p>Find out what happens when a closed off, sassy girl meets a curly haired boy that's open, cheerful and basically the polar opposite of what she is.</p><p>(Inspired by The Last Song and Based on true events)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

" Dani, we're leaving. Get in the car, now! " I heard my mom bellowing from downstairs. "Or else.." She started 

"Or else what mom? You'll ship me off? Oh wait...You already are," [I screamed](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=177282632) at her while angrily trying to untangle my headphone wires, quickly shoving the plug into my phone and blasting the music, drowning out the world. Stomping downstairs and rolling my eyes at whatever she was saying. I climbed into the front seat of the car, ignoring the stares I was getting from both my brother, mother and her piece of shit she now calls her fiancè. It hasn't even been 5 years and she's already moved on. And they wonder why I don't believe in love. 

I looked out the window and saw everything whiz by. Sighing, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. 

"Dani! Dani!" Nathan, my younger brother said as he shook me, or attempted to anyway. How much force can an eleven year old boy have anyway.

"What do you want brat?" I mumbled 

"We're here. Wake up." He said 

Reluctantly I opened my eyes, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and looked at the house that was on the beach and a figure waking towards the now parked car. 

"Mom, do you think dad knows that Dani's been arrested?" Nathan asked in a fake innocent tone. 

"Shut it, ass! I didn't even do anything. You don't know shit so shut up," I screamed at him while facing him. 

"Dani, don't talk to your brother like that," My mom said exasperated. 

"Don't pretend to start caring about either of us just because we're at dad's now. You've done what you wanted to, so go back to your precious Bryan and leave us alone!" I said and got out of the car. I walked to the boardwalk where my father was waiting. 

"Hey Dani! Nice to see y-" He started but was cut off when I ignored him and kept walking. "Well, okay then." I heard him mumble. 

With my headphones on, music blasting on full volume, I felt like I could take on the world. Even though, I don't know where I am or how I even got to this side of the beach, but hey, at least my phone is half charged and my music is still playing. I looked around and saw people staring at the weirdo wearing purple headphones, combat boots and skinny jeans to the beach, but hell if I care! 

"One vanilla ice cream please," I said to the lady.

"Rough day, hun?" She asked

" You have no idea," I mumbled. 

" It'll be okay. Don't worry about it," She said and I flashed her a small smile while handing her the money. "Don't worry about it. It's on the house," she said smiling and handed me the ice cream. I put the money in the tip jar and walked away while licking my frozen treat. I can't remember the last time I had ice cream this good. 

Walking around while eating my ice cream, I saw a spot that was free where I could people watch and not look like a hobo. I rushed past all the people in the way when I felt something cold hit me. I looked up and saw a blonde curly haired boy with a stupid, smug look on his face that I honestly wanted to slap off. 

"Shit! I am so sorry," he said while looking at my shirt. I looked down and saw chocolate milkshake mixed with sand and my vanilla ice cream on it. I glared at him, scoffed and walked away hoping to avoid this stupid, fake social obligation of having to say sorry when you don't really mean it. 

"Hey! Rolling stones girl!" I heard from behind me. Ignoring it, I tried to find my phone, only to realise that I dropped it when I dropped my ice cream. Sighing, I walked back to see that stupid, smug idiot holding it and waving it around. 

"Phone," I said, holding out my palm for him to give it back to me.

 He gasped dramatically. "She speaks," He said feigning surprise.

"She does, and she has emotion too. She calls this one, frustration." I said in the same tone as he did. "Phone," I demanded once again. 

"Not until you tell me you forgive me," He said holding the phone tighter so I couldn't grasp it. 

"I don't lie," I said with my palm still held out. "Now give me my phone back!" I said angrier. 

"At least tell me your favourite song," He said 

"What?" I asked, confused. 

"Well clearly, you love your music and I love music too. So if you want your phone back, you need to tell me your favourite song," He said. 

"Are you serious?" I asked, already sick of him. 

"Do you want your phone or not?" He asked sporting that stupid smug grin on his face.

"I don't have a favourite, it changes, mainly based on my mood," I said holding up my palm signaling that I wanted my phone back. 

"Still doesn't answer my question," He said in a sing-song tone. 

Sighing, I answered, "This week it's Colors by Halsey. Now give me my phone back." 

Nodding, he handed me my phone. I snatched it, spun on my heels and started walking as fast as possible to get away from that curly haired jerk. I looked down at my shirt to see how bad the damage was and saw that although it wasn't ruined, the cold liquids meshed together and was seeping through the material onto my skin. I looked around for a shop to buy another shirt and saw a wooden stand selling shirts. 

Looking through all the shitty choices, I decided to pick the least shitty one which turned out to be a pastel yellow t-shirt with some flower pattern on the bottom left. 

"How much is this?" I asked the guy selling the shirt. 

"Fifteen dollars," He said, looking to help another customer. 

"Shit, that's too much," I mumbled, sighing going to put it back when a black-haired girl approached me. 

"It's free if you think about it," She whispered, pretending to look through the clothes

"What?"

"Just, put it in your bag or something. Then walk away," She said casually

"What? No!"

"Why not? You scared or something?" 

"I've already been caught once, I'm not going through that again," I deadpanned

"Fine! I'll do it for you then," she said and grabbed the shirt, stuffed it in her bag and walked away

"Hey!  Wait!" I bellowed, running to catch up with her. "Why'd you do that?" I asked 

"Anything for a friend," She smiled sickly sweet

"Friend? You don't even know my name!" I said throwing my hands up 

"So? You dont know mine either. See we have something in common, buddy." She said, bumping her shoulder with mine. I laughed and took the shirt she held out while putting it on and taking off the Rolling Stones shirt from underneath. 

"Danielle, but people usually call me Dani," I said while holding out my hand. 

"Reign," She said shaking my hand. 

"Reign? Is that your real name?" I asked 

"No, It's a nickname my boyfriend gave me. After my parents kicked me out, he took me in and he said since I act like a queen, I might as well have a name like it, so he came up with Reign," She said shrugging. "Speaking of my boyfriend, you have to meet him! He is the best!" She gushed while grabbing my hand. "You'll love him! Come on!" 

She pulled me along until we reached a crowd and pushed her way through while pointing at one of the performers. 

"That's him! He performs with his friend Justin. They're fire dancers," She says while leaning in to whisper in my ear, "I love seeing him sweaty."

A little grossed out, I looked at the performance which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. By the end of it, I was captivated by the fire and the way the performers were able to perform tricks as well as avoid getting burnt to a crisp. 

"Baby!" Reign screamed while waving her hands around. He looked at her and nodded then looked me up and down but I pretended not to notice. I don't even know the guy's name and I'm already creeped out by him. My hands were rubbing my arms up and down in hopes to warm myself from the cold evening. 

"Dani! This is my boyfriend Liam," She said while hanging off his sweaty arm, oblivious to the fact that he was blatantly staring at my tits. 

"Hey," He said while licking his lips. I glared at him and gave him a small wave. 

"Rolling Stones Girl!" I heard from behind Liam. Shit! Not again! 

That smug little shit is back. 

"Hey!" He said, ignoring Reign and Liam. I nodded. 

"So," he said, still not acknowledging any of them, "Do you have any plans, like, uhm, now?" 

"No, not really," I shrugged 

"There's this huge bonfire tonight on the other side of the beach. You should come," He said, with his hands in his boardshorts.

"Oh Dani, Liam and I were thinking of hanging out with Justin tonight, near the bridge. You're coming with us right?" 

All three of them looked at me waiting for me to make my decision. Seeing as the smug little, blonde curly hair shit annoyed me and that my only friend in this god forsaken place is dating a total creep ; I don't feel like I have a choice. 

"Yeah, totally Reign. Sorry Boardshorts," I said and reluctantly followed Reign and her douche of a boyfriend. 

I turned around and saw Boardshorts looking a little pained, but played it off as my imagination. For God's sake I didn't even know this guy's name, and he doesn't know mine. 

We ended up under a bridge surrounding a small fire while Reign was basically making out with Liam while Justin was smoking some weed in a corner and I was sitting awkwardly looking into the fire. Regret was quickly filling me. My phone had died and I was cold and tired. 

"Dani," I heard and my head snapped up "Can you go get Reign and me some beer." He asked holding out two red cups 

"Your legs are still in tact. Go get them yourself," I said in a sickly sweet voice. Reign looked at both of us and burst out laughing. 

"I'll get them baby," She said giving him a kiss before standing up and walking to the beer cooler.

"You know," Liam said, moving closer to me " You're really pretty." He said, moving even closer. Feeling uncomfortable, I moved away, the edge of my thigh hitting the huge cement pillar. 

"What are you doing?" I asked, anger and fear filling my voice as he crept his hand further up my thigh

"Nothing baby. Just relax." His hand moving further up 

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Liam! Stop!" Finding my courage, I pushed him off and kicked his shin. I then grabbed my things in a hurry, flipped Liam off, and finally storming off. 

I glanced down at my wrist, the two metal strips revealing the time to be : 12.54am. Deciding that I had enough, I finally tried to find my way back home to be in a comfortable, warm bed.

Just as I reached the threshold, I heard chords being strummed which stopped me in my tracks. I hadn't played, let alone heard someone in my family play guitar since my parents divorce. Memories started to flood my mind but I quickly shook them off.

Entering the house, I saw my father in the corner with a pencil in his mouth, papers surrounding him as if he was an island and they were the sea and an acoustic guitar in his hand. He would strum and quickly jot it down and return to strumming. Pretending to ignore him, I walked into a room and quickly grabbed clothes before running to the bathroom which was next to him. 

"Where were you? It's 1.15 in the morning," He said still jotting down chords.

" Out," I deadpanned before entering the bathroom to [change](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=177295160&new_publish=on). 

"Dani, you can't jus-" He started to say but I cut him off.

" Don't pretend to care. You've never cared these past 5 years so don't bother. Honestly, I'm fine with it. I'm here till summer is over and then I'm out of your hair and out of mom's hair. So, you do your thing and stay out of my way and I'll do the same to you. Goodnight." I said and walked into my room.

"You shouldn't be so harsh with him," I heard and jumped

"What are you doing in my room?! Get out!" I screamed, throwing a pillow at my younger brother's face

"It's our room, genius. Unless you want to sleep in dad's room, by all means..." Nathan said pointing to the door.

"Fine," I said exhausted, throwing my dirty clothes to one side.

"Please don't do this, Dani. I just got dad back, I really don't want to lose him again. We were really bonding and I just..." He said trailing off.

"Hey, hey," I said, walking to his bed, sitting on it while hugging my younger brother. "Nate, did you see how excited he was to see you! He has the biggest smile on his face, I know that he's never leaving again, not without a fight. You're his son, idiot! He loves you, all of us do," I said while stroking he younger boy's hair. "okay?" I asked him

"Sometimes, you really are the best sister," he said

"Sometimes? Hey! I'm the best sister, period." I said while tying my hair up into a messy top knot.  
"Period," He said and starting laughing.

"Go to sleep, dummy!" I said, ruffling his hair then kissing it.

I then walked to my bed and turned off the light, putting my glasses on the bedside table and making myself comfortable in the bed in hopes of drifting off into a deep sleep with amazing shirtless dreams of Dylan O' Brien. 


	2. Trust.

"Rise and shine, princess." I heard my dad say while shaking me awake. "I made your favourite for breakfast. Bacon, toast and more bacon." 

I grumbled incoherently while shoving the blanket over my head and turning away from him. I valued sleep more than anything, he should know that. Plus, I'm on summer break, who the hell gets up at...whatever time this is. I reluctantly lift my head to check the time on the digital clock on the bedside table. It's bright red numbers flashing 10.36am. Groaning, I slam my head back into my soft, fluffy pillow and scream in frustration. There is no way I can go back to sleep now. 

Dragging my feet to the bathroom, I wash my face, brush my teeth and clamber clumsily into the shower. The hot liquid pouring over me, instantly relaxing my tense muscles. I stay in there for what seems like an eternity before pep-talking myself to get out. 

After [getting ready](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=177375251), I grab my copy of Othello, plugged in my headphones and walk out the door. 

"Hey sleepy head, I mad-" I hear my dad say before eyeing my dad, rolling my eyes and walking away from the house ready for the day of Danielle Domination or Double D for short, just like my imaginary tits. This is probably why I have no friends, or even a boyfriend. 

I keep walking, bobbing my head to the music while ambling the street in search for some breakfast. I spot a quaint little cafe and decide to have my breakfast while I read a book and people watch. I pick the seat closest to the window after ordering some waffles with whip cream and a latte and take my book out. 

Engrossed in the book, while I drink my coffee and eat my waffles, I barely notice my surroundings. So I barely noticed when the blonde haired, hazel eyed, smug little shit sat opposite me. 

"She lov'd me for the dangers I had pass'd and I lov'd her that she did pity them" He said quoting Othello. 

"So you steal phones and quote Shakespeare. Is that supposed to impress me?" I asked, setting the book down and looking at him skeptically. 

"Hopefully enough to give me your name," He said, hope etched in his eyes.

"Hmmm, not enough. Try again later, soldier." I said, picking up my book and continuing my journey of the downfall of a great soldier. 

"Has anyone ever told you that you paragon description?" He said making me look up from my book." That you excel the quirks of blazoning pens and..you uhh..I forgot the rest," He sheepishly said, a smile upon his face

"And the'essential vesture of creation does tire the ingener." I said setting my book down on the table. 

"So you quote Shakespeare and snatch phones. Is that suppose to impress me?" He asked mimicking me from before. 

"I don't just quote Shakespeare, I finish quotes that other people can't." I remarked cockily. 

"I was just testing your knowledge of Shakespeare." He said 

"Sure, of course. We wouldn't want your poor little ego to be more wounded than it already is," I said smiling at him

"Oh honey, nothing on me is little. Trust me," He said, winking. 

"Sweetie," I started, in a sickly sweet voice "You're supposed to measure in inches, not centimetres." 

"The name's Ashton, love." He said 

"Congratulations." I said, getting up from my seat, taking out my money to keep on the table before grabbing my phone and book.

"Where are you going?" He asked

"Oh I'm sorry, am I supposed to report my every movement to you now?" I asked putting my headphones around my neck before walking away from my table and towards the door.

"Can I at least get your name?" He asked 

"No," I said, putting my headphones on my ears and walking out of the store. 

"Hey!" I heard from behind me. Ignoring it, I kept walking hoping that this blonde haired boy, who I learnt was named Ashton would go away. 

"You know, its rude to leave in the middle of a conversation," He said, jogging a little to catch up to me. 

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you were the manners police. Please officer, don't arrest me," I said feigning fear. 

"If you wanted me to use a handcuff, all you had to do was ask, love," he said in a whisper. I shook my head in disgust while scoffing and continued to walk away from him. Deciding that I was done with ignoring him, I turned around and walked up to him. 

"First of all, 'Mr, I'm so polite, I can tell other people what to do,' you're not as nice or as mannered as you think. You spilt a milkshake on me, then stole my phone. Then you ignored Liam and Reign just to ask me to some stupid bonfire." I said holding up a finger for each fault he's committed. "Then you interrupt me at breakfast, in what I hope wasn't your attempt at flirting, because if it was, you definitely need some work. Then you make rude and snide comments at me and all this while you don't even bloody know my name!" I said throwing my hands up in exasperation. 

"Wow." He said 

"Wow?" 

"Wow." He confirmed and nodded 

"I just ranted and all you have to say for yourself is wow..." I said feeling slightly frustrated. 

"Well, firstly, if you remember, the first thing I ever said to you was an apology and I didn't steal your phone, I merely just..didn't want to give it back. I didn't ignore Liam and Reign, I just didn't acknowledge them and it's for a good reason. And-" He said but I cut him off 

"Not acknowledging someone is the literal definition of ignoring, genius." I said rolling my eyes.

"Well, okay fine. You get a point there," He said nodding "Can I finish or you do want to keep interrupting me?" 

"Actually, I-"

"It was a rhetorical question, Shakespeare." He said rolling his eyes.

"Fine." I said letting him continue.

"My flirting skills are just fine, trust me. But if you want to give me a lesson, feel free to to so, Dani." he said, a smug grin now plastered on his face. 

"See, there you go again, with your stupid-" I said, but abruptly stopped. "What did you call me?" I asked him cocking an eyebrow. 

"Your name," He said, folding his arms, the grin growing.

"How...How did you..?" 

"I pay attention." 

"But..."

"Stop thinking so hard, love. Your brain won't be able to handle it." He said knocking a finger to my forehead. I swatted it away, annoyed. 

"So you know my name, so what?" I said acting nonchalant. 

"It irks you doesn't it?" he said in a proud voice 

"Not at all," I said, shrugging. 

Shit! My name was the only thing I had against this ass! Ugh! This is annoying me 

"Yeah, I thought as much," He said grinning 

"What?"

"It annoys you. The fact that I know your name annoys you," He said, grinning before saying, "Dani" and giggling. 

God! He giggles like a teenage school girl. 

"So you know my name. That doesn't matter." I muttered nonchalantly "You dont know anything else, so Ha!" I said getting louder as the sentence continued. 

"By the end of the summer, I will" He said confidently. 

"You don't stand a chance. No one knows me," I retaliated 

"I can be no one." He said sincerity lacing his voice 

"You don't want to, trust me." 

"Only if you trust me." 

"I don't even know you," I said. 

"Then get to. My friends say I'm a pretty good friend and looking at you, I think you're in need for one." He said sticking out his hand 

"They're your friends, being nice to you is kind of in their job description." 

"Test out the theory for yourself. What's the worse that could happen?" he asked, cocking his head to his hand, signaling he wanted an answer. 

Well Ashton, I could get hurt again. That's the worst that could happen. 

"Fine Boardshorts. But only for science," I said putting my hand in his and shaking it. 

"On behalf of myself and science, we thank you." he said giggling. A small smile appearing on my face. "You won't regret this, Dani." He said in a softer voice

For your sake and mine Ashton, I honestly hope you're right.


	3. Chapter 3

[Sitting in](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=177657729) solidarity on some rock located in an isolated part of the beach, I put my head on my knees after bringing them close to my chest and watched as the sun set. People say that we should take delight in the simple things such as sunsets but I disagree with that. Sunset's aren't simple things, the light is cast over half the earth, each part having a different coloured sunset, each part being scrutinised. Some colours just arent pretty enough to stop people in their tracks and gasp at how insignificant their life really is. Sometimes us humans just get so wrapped up in our own lives that we don't stop to consider how the whole universe is working just to keep us alive and how our body is constantly working even when we don't realise it. 

I sat on the rock and watched as the colours changed as the sun got lower in our hemisphere and rose in another. The way the world worked constantly fascinated me. 

"Hey buddy," I heard, turning my neck to face the voice that broke me from my thoughts.

"Hey Ashton," I said leaning back on the rock, stretching my legs while still looking at him. 

"Why are you alone?" He asked and I smiled 

"I'm not. I'm with you." I said winking at him as he chuckled.

"What are you doing after this?" He asked 

"Probably just going to roam around, maybe grab some dinner and may-" 

"Wrong!" He said booping my nose 

"Sorry I didn't know you had stolen my planner. Please enlighten me on what my plans are," I said

"You have a planner?" 

"Is that the only thing you got from that sentence?" I sighed 

"You have a planner?" He repeated laughing 

"No I don't, genius. It was a comeback!" 

"Anyway, you are coming to a party with my friends and I. I'll introduce you!" He said excited 

"Uhm, I..." I stammered, not able to convey how I felt 

"What's wrong?" He said, his grin dropping. 

"It's not you, it's just that-"

"Are you friend breaking up with me? After 10 hours of us being friends?" He fake gasped, putting his hand on his chest 

"No, it's just that I'm not very good at making friends and I just -"

"Hey!" He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder "Don't worry about it okay? If you don't want to go, you don't have to. We can do something else." The grin appearing on his face again as he rubbed his thumb on my shoulder 

"You would miss your party for me?" I asked, feeling myself hoping that the answer was yes. 

"Of course I would! We're friends, that's what friends do," He said smiling and I found myself smiling too ; a real, genuine smile. 

"If I go, will you promise to not leave me? I don't do well in crowds." I said sheepishly, looking down at my shorts and playing with the strings on the end of them

"Pinky promise." he said, removing his hand, to my disappointment and holding out his pinky. 

"Holy shit you have huge fingers." I said gasping "Don't even think about saying what I think you're going to say," I said wagging my index finger at him. 

" Wow 10 hours and you already know me so well. You have been paying attention." He said wagging his eyebrows.

"Let's just go to the stupid party." I mumbled jumping off the rock and dusting the dirt off my shorts 

"Why don't I help you with that?" He said. Ignoring his comment, I voiced my concern, "I think I have to go home and change. I don't think this is party appropriate wear." 

After looking me up and down, making me squirm a little, he smiled and gave me a['perfect' sign](http://m.rgbimg.com/cache1s66Qp/users/l/lu/lusi/600/nrcyovQ.jpg) using his hands. I blushed and walked on ahead. 

"Love, you're going the wrong way." He said chuckling as I mumbled a 'Shut up'.

We walked in silence for a couple of minutes before I decided to make mindless small talk as the silence although not uncomfortable or awkward, wasn't entirely comfortable. 

"So," I started "Ashton," I said and he started chuckling. "What? Why are you laughing?" I asked my eyes wide, scared that I did something embarassing. 

"Nothing. You're just really cute when you get uncomfortable." He said still chuckling 

"I am not uncomfortable!" I said, stopping mid track as he turned around. 

"You just tried to fill the silence with mindless small talk, is that not being uncomfortable?" 

"How did you know..." I asked trailing off, a little embarassed.

"You're not the only one that pays attention, love" He said with a wink. 

"Well, alright then." I said, pulling down my shirt and walking ahead in silence.

"Overcompensating silence is a thing too," He said shouting slightly as I was ahead of him. "You don't even know where we're going!" He said a little louder 

"I'll figure it out!" I said throwing my hands in the air in exasperation and folding them over my chest when they came down.

"Hey, hey ,hey." He said grabbing my forearm, pulling me slightly as he caught up with me. "I'm sorry okay?" He said sincerity filling his voice and his hazel eyes. 

"It's okay. I just overreacted a little." I said in a soft voice looking at my red converse shoes and his black high tops in the sand, creating its mark that will soon be washed off by the water. 

"No you didn't. I'm sorry. What were you going to say?" He said urging me to talk while we walk. 

"Nothing, forget about it." I mumbled, waving my hand while shaking my head. 

"No. Please, just....say it" He said, obviously regretting his previous actions. 

"I was just going to ask how far of a walk it was to your friends place." I said stopping mid track 

"What? What's wrong?" He asked, worried. 

"That really does sound stupid now that I say it out loud," I say laughing at myself while shaking my head slightly

"It isn't stupid at all. But to answer your question, it's another 10 minutes or so." He said walking beside me as our hands brush against one another. 

"Can I ask you something?" I said after about a minute of silence.

"Go ahead, love" he said smiling 

"How do you know my name? I don't remember telling you." 

"Honest answer?" He asked with a grin

"Always." 

"Remember when I asked you to the bonfire yesterday?" 

"When you ignored Liam and Reign? Yes, I do seem to recall that." I said with a finger tapping my chin and grinning mischeviously 

"I did not ign-" He said but stopped himself, "We'll rehash this another time. But Reign said your name when she invited you to the bridge or something and that's when I found out." He said smiling at the end of the sentence while looking at me. "You really were annoyed that I found your name out. It was pretty funny." He said laughing like an old man. How many laughs does this guy have? They're all pretty cute though. Wait what?

"Can I ask you something now?" He asked snapping me out of my thoughts. 

"Yeah, of course." I said urging him on. 

"Why did you come here?" He asked cautiously

"As in why I am here in this town?" I refined and he nodded 

"Honest answer?" 

"Always," he mimicked 

"My mom sent my little brother and I here for the summer," I said. This is technically the truth. I don't have to tell him my whole sob story and spoling his night. I saw him open his mouth to ask another question but I had to stop him. 

"Can I ask you another question, Ashton?" I said quickly 

"Go for it, love" 

"How did you find me on that rock? I thought no one knew where that was. I mean it's kinda covered up." I rambled 

"Well, honestly, I used to go there whenever I needed to think or just be away from society for a bit. The trees cover it up so not many people can see it. Plus, what with there being a deep end here, not many people would dare come there." 

"Deep end?" I asked 

"Yeah, if you go more than 2 feet past the shore, there's a big drop about 15 or so metres deep they think. People have drowned here, so they cut it off not allowing people to swim here or even be here. There used to be guards that come up here every couple of hours but up till recently, 'cause no one comes here anymore, they stopped. People got the idea that this place was dangerous and they just didn't come here." 

"Seems like we're not that different after all," I said looking at him and smiling. He looked down at me and smiled 

"No, we're really not." He whispered staring into my eyes. I blushed and looked straight ahead. 

"We're here." he said holding up his arms.

"Really? I would have never guessed what with all the drunk teenagers passed out literally everywhere." I said sarcastically. 

"Shut up, Dani." He mumbled and I laughed. "Come on, I'll introduce you!" He said excited and grabbed my hand to pull me through the crowd of teenagers, grinding on each other while crowding around a giant bonfire.

"Hey Ash!" I heard from somewhere in the crowd. 

"Hey man!" I heard Ashton say, while giving the blonde a one armed hug, the other hand still holding mine. Feeling a little out of place, I tried to squirm my hand out of his vice grip, but he wouldn't let go, just giving it a light squeeze to reassure me. 

"Luke, this is Dani." He said smiling wide to me. 

"Hi," I mumbled. 

"Hey Dani! How do you know Ashton?" He asked, smiling at me. 

"He spilt a milkshake on me and ever since then, he's been stalking me. He's actually keeping me hostage until I forgive him." I joke earning a laugh from both Luke and Ashton. With my confidence slightly boosted, I smiled and giggled along with them. As I was talking to Luke, Ashton let my hand go and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "I'm going to get drinks for both of us, okay?" I smiled and nodded, letting him go. 

"So is this your first visit here?" Luke asked, sipping his cup. 

"Yeah, pretty much." I said, smiling. 

"How are you liking it so far?" 

"Well, it's alright. I love the food and I love the fact that it's on the beach. It's a quaint place really." I said 

"Ahh, sticking to the safe answer aren't you?" He chuckled 

" I don't know how much you love this place, so safe was a good bet." I said laughing as well. 

" Lukey!" I heard someone slur. Without even having to meet the person, I already could tell that I would hate them. Judging by Luke's reaction, he hates them too. 

"Hey Ashley." he sighed and rolled his eyes at her while I just stood there giggling. 

"Lukey poo! Where 'ave you 'een? I've 'een looking for you errywhere." She slurred hanging off his arm. "Luke-ing for you." She said again, laughed to herself while Luke and I just stared at each other and tried to hold in our laughs. 

"I'm going to leave you two alone," I said laughing at Luke's misreable face and walked away while still laughing to myself. Roaming around, I tried to find Ashton, who promised to bring me a drink. I saw a dirty blonde teenager that resembled Ashton, but walked closer just to be 100 percent sure. When the boy turned slightly, I saw a pretty blonde girl attached to his lips and stopped mid-track. 

"Hey, why did you leave me with her. I'm so glad I-" I heard Luke from beside me, stopping himself mid sentence after seeing the look on my face. "What's wrong?" He asked, following my eyes and seeing the same situation as I was. 

"Nothing." I said, not being able to avert my eyes away from the scene that was wuickly unfolding. The girl was sloppily kissing him, her hands wrapped in his hair and his hands clenching her waist, pulling her closer to him. 

"Come on, Dani." Luke said, gently pulling me away from that spot that I was frozen in. After pulling me away from there and getting me a drink, which I quickly downed he asked the billion dollar question. 

"Are you alright?" 

"Yeah totally." I said already feeling the effects of alcohol that was now coursing through my veins while grabbing another drink. "Just really wanted a drink that Ashton said he would get for me. But clearly what was in his hands is not a drink." I said laughing out loud, quickly downing the drink in my hands. 

"Dani, you don't have to-" 

"Luke, honestly, I'm alright. I don't even know Ashton! We met this morning. I'm okay, honestly." I said, not believing myself for some reason that I just blamed on the alcohol. Luke was eyeing me skeptically and grabbed my hand. 

"Dance?" He asked and I nodded, setting my drink down, following him to where the rest were dancing. He pulled me on, finding a spot big enough for the both of us and pulling me close to him and swinging his hips to the rhythm. Laughing, I followed as we both danced stupidly and belted the lyrics to Marvin Gaye by Meghan Trainor and Charlie Puth. Swinging my head to the song and moving my hips as Luke's hands grabbed my waist, pulling my butt closer to his crotch, we grinded and he raspily whispered the lyrics into my ear as I smiled. After the third song or so, I stopped and looked at Luke who was smiling. He cocked his head to the side and I nodded, grateful, following him to get a drink. 

The rest of the night, I spent with Luke, dancing, singing and talking mindlessly. He looked at his watch. 

"It's 3.40 in the morning. Do you want a ride back?" He asked and I nodded gratefully.

"You're not driving are you?" I asked and he shook his head. 

"We drew straws to see who the designated driver before the party started. My friend Calum got the position." He said while laughing. 

"Yay, another introduction. Maybe this time I won't be as awkward" I said out loud

"You aren't awkward, love." He said with sincerity. The word 'love', brought me back to Ashton but I quickly pushed the thought away. 

"Hey Cal! Let's go!" He shouted to the boy, who was facing away from us. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming. Keep your knickers on," He shouted back, quickly waving to the person he was talking to and walking towards us. 

"Oh hello doll. Who is this, Luke?" He asked a cocky smile gracing his face. 

"This is Dani. She came with Ashton but he's gone for some weird reason..." He said trailing off into a whisper at the end of the sentence. Calum got the hint and nodded curtly. 

"Do you need a lift back?" He asked and I nodded, telling him my address. 

Climbing into the car with Luke and Calum, I looked out the window, ignoring the conversation and the fact that I was being rude. 

" Hey Dani," I heard from the front of the car.

"Yeah?" I mumbled 

"Are you okay?" Calum asked, ignoring Luke's stern expression

"Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired." I said waving it off. 

"We're here." Luke interrupted. 

"Thank you guys so much! Have a good night!" I said, closing the car door and walking away 

"Hey!" I heard from behind me.

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" Luke asked. I smiled and nodded.

"Awesome!" He said with a huge grin. Taking out his phone from his pocket, he held it out the window indicating that I should put my number in it. I smiled, walking towards the car and putting my number in it. 

"Thank you for a great night." I said with a smile and waved before walking into the house. 

"Do you know what time it is!" I heard a loud voice boom as soon as I closed the door. 

"Yeah, it's 4." I said walking towards my room, grabbing my clothes and storming into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me to get [changed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_83/set?id=50170880). 

"Stop Dani!" I heard as soon as I walked out of the bathroom.

"What? It's 4 in the morning and I want to sleep!" I exclaimed angrily. 

"I am your father and I-"

"No you're not! You stopped being my father when you walked out on us when I was 13! You missed every birthday since then, every concert, you missed my first heartbreak. You didn't call, you didn't text. So no! You're not my father. You're this guy who alludes himself into thinking he has some parenting right over me." I screamed back at him. 

"I am your father." He said sternly

"What's my favourite colour?" I asked 

"What?" He said confused 

"If you were really my father, you would know these things. Mom knows. Sure I give her shit too, but at least she knows something as simple as my favourite colour." I said folding my hands across my chest, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, I spoke up. "For God's sake! Fine okay! I'll narrow it down for you. Is it A, blue. B, Purple or C, Red." I said holding up three fingers.

"Blue?" He asked in a small voice and I shook my head, tears brimming my eyes. 

"It's B, purple. The colour of my headphones, the colour of my room and the colour of the bag I brought into this house. Oh, it was also the colour of my prom dress." I said and walked to my room. 

"And you call yourself my father." I mumbled, slamming the door, quickly climbing into bed, facing away from the door, to my younger brother's bed where he was fast asleep. Clambering off my bed, I walked to my Nathan's bed, pushing him slightly and cuddling up to him, falling into a deep sleep.

 


	4. Chapter 4

I heard my phone blaring from the other side of the room where I left it to charge. Gronaning, I scrambled out of bed and trudged my way to my phone and picked it up 

"'Lo?" I asked, sleep dripping from my words 

"Morning sleeping beauty!" I heard the voice chirp, chuckling at the situation 

"Who is this?" I asked, rubbing my eye of the sleep 

"Luke." 

"Why the hell are you calling me at such an ungodly hour?!" I muttered angrily 

"So, clearly you aren't a morning person. Also cupcake, it's amost 10.30. Get dressed, I'm coming to pick you up in 20 minutes.'Kay bye." He said hanging up

What just happened? 

There was a phone call and then...wait what? 

I rubbed my eyes, sighed and walked to the bathroom to get ready. I stepped into the cold shower to wake me up and get refreshed. [After getting ready](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=177943231) and doing some light make-up, I walked to the living room, sitting down and scrolling through Instagram 

"Where are you going?" I heard a small voice ask. I turned my head and patted the seat next to me indicating that he should sit next to me. Nathan ran and cuddled up to my side 

"Going out with friends, baby. Why?" I asked kissing his hair and hugging him. 

"Oh," He sighed in a small voice, burrying his head in my side. 

"What's wrong buddy?" I asked, holding him a little away from me so he would look at me. Instead, he looked at the floor. "Nate," I said and he finally lifted his head to look at me, "What's wrong? Tell me, baby. It's the only way I can help." I said rubbing circles into his arms, comforting him. 

"It's just that..." He said and trailed off and shook his head. 

"Tell you what." I said clapping my hands together, "When I come home today, I'll take you out to the arcade and then we can have cotton candy during the fair and then we can have ice cream after. My treat. It'll just be you and me." I said smiling big. I saw him smile and nod fiercly, hugging me. I laughed and hugged back. 

"Pinky promise?" He said holding out his pinky and I linked mine and nodded. 

I then heard a loud horn blaring from outside and I jumped out, grabbing my bag and phone and kissed Nathan's head and walked out, sliding my sunglasses on my face. 

"Hey, Luke!" I said while getting into the car, fastening my seatbelt.

He looked at me, pushed down his sunglasses a little lower his nose and with a huge grin and Valley Girl Accent he said, "Hay Gurl Hay." Draggin out the last hey. I pushed him a little with my hand while laughing. He laughed along with me and reversed his car out of my driveway. 

"Can I turn on the radio?" I asked, turning it on anyway. 

"Why do you ask if you're just going to do it anyway?" He asked shaking his head 

"'Cause it's polite!" I exclaimed exaggerated and he sighed. "Where are we going any-Oh I love this song!" I said but interrupted myself, turning up the volume almost all the way. 

"And now I don't understand it. You don't mess with love, you miss with the truth, and now I shouldn't say it, but my heart don't understand," I sang with exaggerated hand gestures and when the chorus approached, I screamed as loud as I could while dancing in my seat, "Why I got you on my mind, why I got you on my mind."

"Why I got you on my mind," Luke screamed with me and I started laughing while trying to get the words out. We then approached a traffic light and he stopped and started dancing with me, his hands flying everywhere while I laughed. I then happened to look to the car next to me and was mortified. 

"Uh, Luke..." I said while pulling his sleeve and pointing at the car next to me. 

"What is it? I was just-Oh." He said, while the music blared in the background and both of us just stared in shock at the car next to us. 

"Hey, officer..." I said meekly waving my hand. Wordlessly, the stern looking officer rolled down his windows, as ours were already rolled down. 

"You kids having fun?" 

"Only within the statutory limits,sir." Luke blurted quickly. I nearly facepalmed, drawing out the conclusion that this was Luke's first run in with the law. 

"Elle Goulding, was that?" He asked us. 

"It can be anything you want it to be," Luke said and both the officer and I looked at him in confusion. 

"It's actually Ellie Goulding. I'm sorry for my friend here, he's just a little nervous." I said patting Luke's shoulder, a little harder than normal. 

"Good singer, good singer.." The police officer mumbled to himself and then drove off, ignoring us. 

"It can be anything you want it to be?" I asked Luke, nearly doubling over in laughter. 

"Shut up, Dani!" He said and kept driving, his hands shaking slightly.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked, trying to get his mind off of the embarassing incident. 

"My friend Mikey works in this cafe, well techically his parents own it, so yeah.We're going there for brunch. Maybe you can even meet the rest of my friends if they're there!" 

"Brunch? Is that still a thing?" 

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" He said smiling at me. 

"Only as long as it's within statutory limits,sir..." I said giggling and then burst out laughing when I saw Luke's sheepish yet angry face. 

"You're lucky we'e here, or else..." He said and trailed off, feigning a stern look. 

"Oh I'm untouchable." I said and flipped my hair.

"Yeah? Why is that?" He asked 

"I'll just call the police officer from just now and I know you'll be too embarassed to do anything." I said cockily

"You don't even know his name." He said and grinned mischeviously. Knowing that he would say something like that, I became even cockier as I had already thought of a comeback.

"Calum and Ashton are going to be here aren't they?" I asked with an innocent voice while grinning and Luke's face fell as he figured out what I was insinuating. 

"You wouldn't," He said shaking hs head.

"Oh wouldn't I?" I asked rhetorically.

"You're a menace." He said while getting out of the car. As I got out I bounced happily and walked towards him so we would walk together.

"I know. It helps me sleep at night." I said while giggling. He looked at me and started laughing as he lead the way to the cafè. There were wooden tables and chairs outside that resembled a picnic table, except they had a white sheet with a glass vase of pink and purple flowers to give it a splash of colour. Overall, the cafe gave a warm, family feel and looked quite hipster and like a cafe you would instagram. 

We walked in and immediately I heard a loud voice boom, "Luke, buddy!" which made me jump sllightly.

"Hey Mikey!" Luke said and hugged who I presume was Mikey. The boy had obviousy dyed his hair, no one's hair grows in two drastically different coours. The blonde haired boy had blue streaks in his hair which to my surprise, complemented him and his coourful personality. Do you think that when he's sad he points at his hair and goes, 'I'm feeling blue.' Seriously...why do I even have friends?

"...yeah and I brought her here today." I heard and felt Luke nudge me a little, breaking me out of my, what I hope are funny thoughts.

"Hi! I'm Danielle, but people call me Dani." I say and stick out my hand, instead being pulled in for a hug, my hand still sticking out like an idiot. "Or we could do that..." I say and hug him back, awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, I should've introduced myself before, well that happened." he said and laughed but I shrugged it off. "Hey there! I'm Michael," 

"Are we going to hug again, or was that just for my introduction?" I ask pointing between us and he chuckled.

"You're funny," He said and looked at Luke pointing at me, "She's funny. Let's keep her." he said.

"Okay. Firstly, that was a legitimate question. Before kidnapping me, my mom would probably want to check with your mom to make sure it's okay." I said smiling 

Before any of them could say anything, a bell dinged indicating a new customer, to which the three of us turned our head to see. In walked in a girl wearing white shorts and a blue fitting tank top with a lace cardigan and her long black hair flowing below her shoulders. 

"Hi," She said awkwardly waving at us, "Are you guys open?" 

Neither of the boys could move their gaping mouths. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Yeah we are. Can I help you?" I asked pretending I worked here.

"I'm pretty hun-"

"Yeah you are." I hear Michael blurt from next to me and I facepalm.

"Oh uhm," She said blushing and looking down

"Ignore him Tee," Luke says, bounding forward and pulling him into a hug, this time it was Michael and I who were shocked, our mouths dropping open. 

"Hey Luke," She says in a small voice. 

"Guys, this is Christina." He said proudly as if showing off the biggest diamond in the world "And Tee, this is Michael and Danielle." 

"Hiya! I love what you're wearing, you pull it off so well. You're literally fashion goals," I said immediatey, pulling her hand and sitting her down with me. 

"Oh my god! Thank you! Can I just say how intimidated I was by you. You're gorgeous!" She gushed and we laughed together 

"You're my new best friend!" I said and we hugged.

"So, Tee..." I said while smirking and she looked down and blushed 

"Shut up, I do-" She started to say but got cut off when Luke and Michael joined our table. 

"Guys, I'm hungry!" I whined, looking at Christina giving her the 'We'll-talk-later' look and she subtly nodded. 

"Wait another 5 minutes, yeah? Ashton and Calum are joining us for lunch," Michael said still gawking at Christina. 

"She's hot, Mikey! We know! You can look away now," I exclaimed, pushing my finger under his chin and snapping it back up. 

"Boys, I tell you," mumbling inchorently under my breath as I folded my arms over my chest 

"The party don't start till I walk in!" A loud voice screamed in the shop which was met with pin drop silence. "What? I expected some sortof party..." Ashton said looking around seeing nobody but Michael, Christina, Luke and I. 

"Hey didn't you promise me a drink like ages ago!" I asked and he immediately went from cocky to sheepish

"About that...See there was this, thing.." 

"Oh save it Boardshorts!" 

"Food?" Christina suggested and we nodded immediately looking to Michael 

"What?" He asked and we glared at him "Jesus! Tough crowd. Fine. I'll bring your food you animals!" He said and walked away while we all looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

We were all sitting in a booth, Christina, Me and Ashton on one side and Luke, Calum and Michael on the other. 

"You look hot today, Rolling Stones." Ashton whispered in my ear, going unnoticed by everyone else. Trying to hide my blush I retorted while winking 

"I was born hot." 

"Cocky, eh?"

"Learnt from you, Boardshorts." I said, annoyed. "Now tell me, that 'thing' you had to do, did it involve a blonde wearing a crop top and what I presume is underwear but actually is 'shorts'?" I asked in a harsh whisper, rolling my eyes and trying to listen to the other conversation.

"Jealous are we?" He whisperes, closer than before, his warm breath tickling my neck. 

"I don't do the whole jealousy thing. I just get annoyed when my friend, who pinky promised would never leave my side, ditches me 2 seconds after we get to the party and doesn't come back." I muttered louder than a whisper.

"It wasn't like that," He tried to clarify, but I wasn't having it. Not today.

"Save it," I said and ignored him.

"Can I at least make it up to you tonight?" He asked 

"I promised my brother I would hang with him tonight, just the two of us and unlike some people I know, I actually keep my promises." I deadpanned.

"Look, I'm sorry. If you would just let me explain-"

"It's okay. Seriously, it's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything." I said and shrugged, "You don't have a duty to explain anything to me. Next time, just don't promise to do something and then not do it. I just won't be able to trust you then, which would suck since you're my friend." I explained, shrugging. 

"You may not be my girlfriend but you're my friend, at least let me explain-"

"Let it go, Ashton. Matter's ended okay?" I said and grabbed his hand, squeezing it, ignoring how right it felt to have his hand in mine. He intertwined our fingers and I pulled away, scared. "Let's just enjoy lunch." I said louder 

"Brunch!" Luke screamed

"Brunch is for old people Luke! We're in the prime of life. Right guys?" I said, smacking Luke's hand which was on the table. 

"Luke is old though." Christina said, earning a gasp from Luke.

"I'm younger than all these oldies." he said pointing at us.

"Im only 18!" I said, "Which is way younger than granpa over here!" I said poking Ashton in the chest.

"Now listen here kids, when I was younger, about the same age as you folk, like two or three years ago, times were different." He said putting on the best old man accent he could, sending us all into fits of laughter to the point where Michael and Calum choked on their burgers, twice. 

"This burger is amazing by the way! I've never tasted anything better in my life. I swear I'm having a foodgasm," I gushed, after devouring the burger.

"That's the policy of this restaurant and my own actually." Michael stated in a matter of fact way.

"What policy?" Luke and Christina asked in unison, looking at each other then at their food. 

"Well, I make sure that I give the best orgasm and the restaurant makes sure that it gives the best foodgasm," He said cockily.

"I hope you know that only giving yourself an orgasm doesn't count." I deadpanned, taking a bite out of the fries as everyone laughed except Michael.

"Do you want to pay for your food or not?"

"If it means having to suck up to you," I said in a sickly sweet voice, " then no."  I said jokingly.

He then opened his mouth to, what I assume at least, make a comeback. "And if you make a sucking joke, I swear to God Mikey..." I said pointing a finger and wagging it at him 

"She's a keeper, ain't she?" Ashton said in a country voice, wagging his eyebrows at me as I laughed.

"Hello?" We heard and snapped our heads at the voice "Anyone?"

Ashton looked scared as the dirty blonde from that night entered the cafe, wearing a sleeveless white crop top, with a studded denim vest jacket and black booty shorts. I looked at Luke who looked at Michael who shrugged and got up from the booth.

"Uh, yeah? How can I help you?" He asked awkwardly

"You're Bradie right?" She asked, conforming to the stereotypical white blonde girl act, much to my dismay. 

"Michael." he snapped 

"Right, yeah whatever. You're friends with Ashy right?" She asked, twirling her hair around her finger, looking bored.

"Ashy?" He asked, looking like he was dreading the next question. I then looked at Ashton who was hiding in the booth

"Hey Ashy," I whispered to him and he glared at me

"Don't even, Dani." He said in a hushed harsh tone.

"Why not? You played tongue hockey with her, might as well go and keep her company right? Unless you're the baseball type." I said and he looked at me in confusion, "You know, hit and run." I explained 

"Look, I said I wanted to explain-" 

"Ashy!" The blonde said, suddenly perking up and running towards the booth, earning a groan from Ashton.

"Hey Brittany." He said with the fakest plastic smile on.

"Ashy, you said you would call, but you didn't." She said pouting and using a child-like voice which made me want to tear my ears out, but I stuck with picking my salad and acting like it didn't bother me.

_It doesn't bother you_

_It doesn't bother you_

_It doesn't bother you_

I chanted like my mantra, ignoring the conversation.

"Yeah, uhm, not now okay. I'm out with friends." He said, presumably denying some kind of invite. I wouldn't know because I was chanting that stupid mantra! 

Deciding I had enough of this conversation, I looked at Luke who looked like he was in physical pain from it as well as the rest of them.

"Oh my god!" I screamed "Listen here you blonde nitwit! We're trying to have a good meal which you are clearly ruining. If he didn't call you, it's clearly because he was with us! It's been like what? 8 hours since you last played tongue hockey with him? Calm your non existent white, pasty ass down and go have some generic coffee brand that we know you'll snapchat because you're a basic, annoying, white ass hoe who clearly stalks random boys because you have some unresolved Daddy issues. Now if you would please get your nasaly, lanky, kinda hot body away from us and go retail shopping for a good personality, you would do all of mankind a favour." I ranted and slammed my fork down on the table pointing at the door behind me. 

"And who the hell are you to talk to me like this?" She asked, her obvious drawn eyebrow cocking.

"If you don't leave, I'll be Grim Reaper." 

"Go to hell, bitch!" She screamed and flipped me off

"With you here, I'm already in hell." I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"So where were we?" I said smiling as though nothing had happened, picking my fork back up and looking at everyone who looked shocked.

"Look, I'm sorry, I was just really annoyed and wh-"

"That was the best thing I have ever heard in my life." I heard Christina say.

"Bloody hell, I knew you were sarcastic but damn," Calum said shaking his head in disbelief and slow clapping to which everyone joined, well everyone except Ashton.

Ashton got up and walked away. I looked at Luke and he nodded.   
"Sorry guys, give me a second." I said and followed Ashton

"Yo Boardshorts, wait up!" I screamed behind him and did a little jog to catch up. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or her. It's none of my business what's happening between you two-" I said and he shook his head.

"I'm not mad."

"Then what?" I asked confused.

"You know for someone so smart, you really are quite dumb."

"Hey! That wasn't nice." I muttered

"What? No sarcastic remark this time?"

"So you are mad about that. Look I didn't mean to say those things it just-"

"It just what? Came out on its own?"

"I said I was sorry, Ashton! Do you want me to apologise to your girlfriend too?" 

"She's not my girlfriend!" He screamed

"Then why are you acting like a douche of a boyfriend!" 

"So being human is apparently equal to being a douche now? Only by your standards, princess!" His voice getting louder and getting closer to me.

"Oh so making your friend a promise and then breaking it 2 seconds after you made that promise is being a nice human being now?!" I screamed back 

"You wouldn't let me explain!" He said exasperated 

"'Cause it doesn't matter." I mumbled, stepping back and folding my arms over my chest 

"You say it doesn't matter yet you bring it up. Contradictory isn't it, Shakespeare?" He said harshly.

"Have fun with your girlfriend." I spat and walked back into the cafe to explain that I was leaving. I was mad but I still have manners. Before I could enter the cafe, I remembered that these were Ashton's friends, not mine. Sighing and with the thought of tears, I walked away. Sure it was going to be a long walk home, seeing as I didn't bring my wallet with me, I couldn't exactly get a cab. So I started walking, away from Ashton and away from the cafe. 

"Dani!" I heard Luke's footsteps and his shout. I paused, waiting for him to catch up.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I'm sorry you fought with Ashton. He isn't usually like this I have no idea what's going on with him and honestly we all think he's out of line and th-"

"Luke, stop. It's fine, honestly. Have fun yeah? I'm going to go home." I said, hugging him and continued walking.

"Can I at least drop you? It's like a 5 minute drive." 

"Honestly, it's alright! I'm just going to walk."

"You can't walk. Get in the car. I'm dropping you home."

"Luke, I'm not going to ruin-"

"Ruin what? We're friends Dani. Regardless of whether or not you and Ashton are! We still are friends!" He said in an assertive tone. "So get in the damn car, before I carry you to it." 

So, I got in the car...obviously! Luke was kinda sexy when he was assertive. Too bad he's younger than me and totally into Christina. At least I have the night out with my brother to cheer me up.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Luke pulled up on my driveway and pulled his handbrake up ; stopping and sighing, hands still placed on the steering wheel. The car was still; silent, just like it had been throughout the whole ride back. Sighing, I pulled the car handle towards me, but the door didn't open. I looked at Luke, who was already staring at me. I cocked my eyebrow, mentally asking him what the hell he was doing. Still staring blankly at me, he didn't move. 

"What is it Luke?" I asked, effectively shattering the silence. 

"What are you doing, Dani?" He asked, referring to the situation before this. 

"Right now I'm trying to get out of this car." I deadpanned pretending not to know what he was referring to.

"Look, we don't know what has gotten-"

"We?" I interrupted. "What do you mean we?" 

"You guys were literally fighting two feet away from where we were sitting, what do you expect? Obviously we heard everything." He said slightly annoyed.

"Look Luke, you guys are Ashton's friends so I completely understand if you want to just avoid me and go-"

"Shut up Dani!" He screamed, making me jump slightly. "I don't know why you keep pushing people away when the slightest of things go wrong. Obviously we are your friends too or I wouldn't even be bothering to drop you home and help you with whatever you and Ashton are going through. Stop pushing everyone away. We all think that Ashton was wrong, although not completely, he was mostly wrong. I don't know what has gotten into him, but something is wrong and you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time and he took it out on you." 

"Are you done?" I asked softly and he let out a long sigh before nodding. "Can you open the door now?" I stated rather than asking.

"Dani-"

"Luke you said you were done. Please just open the door and let me go." I pleaded, tugging on the handle to emphasise my point. He took one look at me and unlocked the door. As soon as he did that, I tugged on it, practically rushing to my house and slamming the door behind me. 

"What's wrong?" I heard immediately from the dining table.

"Nothing." I said emotionless to my dad and walked to my room.

I slammed the door behind me and quickly locked it. I then pulled my hair into a bun, stripping off my clothes,[ I threw on sweats and a loose shirt.](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_56/set?id=35002121) I practically ripped the door off its hinges, rushed to the freezer, thanking my lucky stars that I decided to buy ice cream before. I then grabbed a spoon, the Ben and Jerry's pint, walked back to my room where my laptop was resting and plopped myself on the bed. Turning on 'Friends', I dug my spoon into the ice cream and stuffed in my mouth.

Anyone who knows me well enough, which mind you is barely a handful of people, would know that I rarely ever cry. Crying, in my opinion, makes a person weak, makes them vulnerable. When you cry, you become too weak to handle yourself. For those few minutes, you need someone else - be it their words, or their company, you just need someone there to comfort you. In those few minutes, you're not human anymore, you're a ball of their pity, their comfort, you're their embodiment. So this, to me, is my therapy. In a sense, it's my way of crying without the act of crying.

After half a season (or when the ice cream was finished) , I decided that I was done. Grabbing the tissues from my bedside table, I cleaned myself and the droplets of water on my bedsheets caused by the ice cream up and walked out of my room. 

"Are you okay, Dani?" I heard my younger brother ask. I walked over to him and pulled him into a tight hug, bending down to kiss the top of his head. 

"I am now buddy." I whispered in his hair and felt him hug me tighter. 

"We don't have to go to the arcade and the fair," He said, looking up at me

"What? Are you kidding?! No we are definitely going, that's the only thing I've been looking forward to doing." I said, smiling at him. "Why should we wait anyway? Come on bud, get dressed now! Let's go." I said and pushing him into the room to get dressed. 

I grabbed my clothes and my hairbrush and went to the bathroom to change, clean myself up and do my hair. As soon as [I was done ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=178222737)and walked out of the bathrom, I saw my dad walking up to me. Sighing, I let my hands fall to my side, exhausted. 

"Are you okay?"

"Wait, what?" I asked confused, thinking he was going to scold me for not telling him were I went or was going.

"What what?" He asked confused.

"What?" I asked, cocking my head to one side, confused as to what was going on.

"I asked if you were okay." He said, raising his eyebrow, waiting for me to answer his question. I took a deep breathe while nodding, looking at anywhere except at him.

"What happened?" He asked, geniunely concerned.

"Nothing to worry about." I mumbled. "I'm taking Nate to the arcade and the fair. Don't wait up, we'll probably be too full to eat dinner." I said walking past him and to the the couch to put on my shoes. 

"Do you maybe want to have a family dinner tomorrow?" 

"Hard to do when you don't have a family anymore," I said looking up at him, annoyed. He took one look at me, sighed and walked to the kitchen. Deflated, I hung my head in my hands - This is just not my day. 

"Dani?" A soft voice broke me from my pity party. If there is one person that I will never let see me vulnerable and weak, it's my younger brother. No matter what happens, he has to see that we can get through it together ; and that definitely won't happen if I'm weak and pathetic.

"Hey buddy!" I grinned, "Ready to go?" 

"We don't have to..." He trailed off, looking at his feet. 

"Come on champ! Time spent with you will definitely cheer me up. You're doing me a favour." I said, standing up and pulling him by my side and walking out of the door. 

According to the directions that Luke gave me in the morning, the arcade and the fair were a 5 minute walk from my house. I navigated based on memory and Nate just followed. We finally reached the arcade and I got 20 dollars worth of tokens. 

"So, which game to you want to play first?" I asked, playing with the coins in my hands. Nate grabbed my hand and pulled me to some racing game. 

The evening went on just like that - Nate would see a game he wanted to play and he would run towards it and I would either play with him or cheer him on. A couple of hours, and twenty dollars more, he was hungry. We then walked to a burger joint. 

"Hi, my name is Jessicca and I'm your server today. May I take your order?" Our server asked. 

"Hi! I would like a fish burger with fries and some water and he would like a chicken burger, extra fries and a vanilla milkshake please." I said with a smile and handed her back the menus. She took them and left us. 

"So, Nate." I said and he looked at me with his big doe eyes. He inherited my dad's eyes while I, my mom. Nate's eyes are a bright blue while mine are a light brown. 

"What's going on, buddy?" I asked, referring to our conversation in the morning. 

"Nothing," he mumbled and played with his fingers on the table. 

"Nate," I said in a soft voice, making him look at me, "You know that nothing is going to happen if you tell me right. I'm your sister, you're supposed to tell me what's happening. How else am I going to help you?" I said and he nodded. "Okay, tell me what's wrong, buddy." I said prompting him to tell me. 

"You're going to think it's stupid." he said, his bottom lip quivering.

"No I'm not baby. What's going on?" I asked, more concerned, bordering on fearful. 

"It's just that, I haven't seen you in a long time. I know we live together but I never see you. Back with mom you used to go with all those friends and even when I went to sleep I wouldn't see you. And now in dad's home, you go out in the morning and I don't see you anymore. Back at home I would have mom but then she would go off to work and Bryan too and now with dad, it's all happening again." He said with tears streaming down his cheeks, barely able to get the last sentence out. I got up from where I was sitting and went next to him, I pulled him into a hug and he buried his head in my shirt, wetting it with his tears. 

"I'm sorry," I kept whispering into his hair as his body wracked with sobs. After a couple of minutes, Nate calmed down and he looked up at me. 

"Nate, you have to understand how much all of us, even if we aren't there, we care so much about you. I know I'm barely home, but that's not your fault okay? None of what is happening is. Mom, dad, me, even Bryan, we all love you so much. I know we aren't home most of the time but it's because we have school or jobs and we might always get out of the house, but baby, we're always going to come home. It'll take some time, but we're going to be normal again okay? I pinky promise." I say holding out my pinky and he weakly links his with mine. "Remember this okay baby," I say pulling him into another hug, "No matter what happens, we always have each other. We're siblings! We have to stick together through everything." 

"I love you, Dani." He says, wounding his hands around my waist tightly. 

"I love you too. So much." I say, kissing his head. 

"Here's your-" Our servcer, Jessicca says before stopping herself, taking in the scene in front of her. "Is everything okay?" She asks and I nod. 

"Yeah it is, thank you." I say to her.

"Oh okay, well then. Here's your fish burger," She says putting the plate in fron of me and I smile. "Here's your chicken burger, extra fries and a milkshake. Enjoy!" She says putting the food in front of Nate, a smile immediately appearing on his face. 

"Thank you." We say in unison, picking up a fry and toasting it before stuffing the whole thing in our mouth. We scarf down our food and walk out of the shop, after paying the bill and leaving a hefty tip. 

"Cotton candy?" I ask 

"Cotton candy." He says and we walk to the fair, pushing one another, as if we were years younger. Once we reach the fair, Nate spots a booth with a giant monkey and immediately wants to try his luck for it. I give him some money and walk to get the cotton candy. 

"Hiya!" The man behind the desk says which a giant grin. If I was surrounded by cotton candy and ice cream, I would be grinning bigger than that. 

"Hi!" I exclaim cheerily. 

"What flavour, love?"

"One grape and one blueberry, please." I say taking out some money and exchanging it for the sweet, fluffy treat. I then eat a little of both, feeling like a child and walk to where Nate is standing. Before I can reach him, I feel a hand grab my forearm. 

"What the he-" I start to scream but let out an annoyed sigh when I see who the culprit is. "Oh, it's just you." I say and start to walk away.

"Wait Dani!" He says, pulling me back from my arm.

"What do you want, Ashton? Didn't you say enough already?" 

"Please, just let me-"

"What? Explain? Yeah, where have I heard that before?" I say sarcastically before ripping my arm away from him, ignoring the slight ache, and walking away.

"Please, Dani, just let me say sorry at least." He pleaded from behind me. I looked at him and saw desperation in his eyes. Feeling guilty, I walked towards him. 

"You have 60 seconds, don't make me regret this." I said sternly. 

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said any of those things to you. I was just embarassed by her and honestly, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. When it finally registered in my head, you were gone and I couldn't apologise, it felt even worse when Luke told me what you said when he dropped you home. I'm just really sorry, I swear I'm a lot nicer than this but I don't know what happened today. Just please...forgive me." he said, words flying out of his mouth, his eyes filling with a mix of desperation and fear. 

"I forgive you, Ash...or should I say Ashy." I teased, hoping that would distract him. 

"Oh God! Please no," He laughed in relief. 

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked 

"Oh, my little brother and sister wanted to come to the fair today, so here I am," He said holding his arms out, "What are you doing here?" 

"I'm on a date," I say, looking at my little brother and back at Ashton. His expression falling. 

"Oh." He says, and pauses, unsure of what to say next. I look at him questioningly. 

"You okay?" I ask and he nods. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Just have to go, my siblings are probably waiting for me," He says pointing behind him and looking confused. 

"Okay then..." I say and walk to Noah, handing him his cotton candy. 

"Did you win it?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Want to try again?" I ask holding out a dollar as he snatches it away, making me hold his cotton candy, giving the game another shot.

After about an hour of eating, playing and just talking with my little brother, we decided to find a random spot on the beach and sit down, making sandcastles. 

"Nate, no!" I say too late before he throws sand on me and I gasp. I get up, grabbing his shirt before he can run away and splash some cold water on him, running away before he can get me. I look back for a second and then bump into someone, falling on the ground. 

"Shit! I'm so- Oh crap! Not again!" I hear, looking up while rubbing my head. 

"Really Ashton?" I say 

"Not my fault you bumped into me." He mumbles, helping me up. "Where's your date anyway?"

"Probably looking for me." I say, hiding behind him

"Why?"

"'Cause I splashed him with water after he threw sand at me."

"Why would he throw sand on you?"

"We were building sandcastles," I say looking at him, pouting slightly. "You don't like sandcastles?" I say feeling like a child 

"I love sandcastles, but on a date? Probably not." he says running his fingers through his curly hair 

" But it's fun! Why wouldn't you want to build one?" I ask throwing my hands up. 

"Not on a date!" 

"When's the last time you went on a date without the intention of wanting to get in someone's pants?" I ask

"That's a little invasive don't you think?" He asks sounding a little surprised and annoyed 

"Just answer the bloody question, Ashton!" I spat, annoyed. 

"Uhh..." He says 

"My point exactly! Learn how to have a little fun, even if it makes you look like a child. Now if you excuse me, my brother is probably looking for me." I say and stomp off. 

"Wait! Your brother? I thought you said it was a date." He voices out behind me and I stop, looking at him. 

"I told you during lunch that I was...Wait so this whole time you thought it was an actual date?" I ask and he sheepishly nods. "I told you that I was spending time with my brother today at lunch! Do you not listen to me?" 

"Well, lunch was a little eventful. Excuse me for not remembering." He says, rolling his eyes. 

"Don't roll your eyes at me! You're the one who was jealous." 

"I am not jealous!" He exclaims.

"Oh please, you practically ran when I told you I was on a date. I've been here 2 days, how the hell can I get a date that fast." 

"Have you seen yourself? You're gorgeous," He says, my cheeks heating up, but I blamed it on the cold night." I'm surprised no one has hit on you yet." 

"Well, you're wrong on that point." I say, wagging my index finger bringing it to my mouth biting my nail, slightly

"Who's hit on you?" He says, jaw becoming taut. 

"You." I say winking, and walking away, my cheeks becoming rosy. 

Walking back to Nate, with my mind running wild. 

"Can we go home? I'm cold and sleepy." Nate said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I held out my hand, as he ignored it and walked closer to my hip, burrying himself in my warmth and I ran my hand up and down his forearm, in an effort to warm him up. 

We reached home 15 minutes later, as we got lost. Nate jumped at the chance to shower while I went to my room, [pulling my hair into a messy bun and changing into a loose shirt and shorts.](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=178232357) I climbed into bed with a goofy smile, and colour in my cheeks. Biting my lip, I grabbed my phone to scroll through instagram, but was confused when I saw a message from an unknown sender. Opening my messages, I saw the message andsaved the number. 

 

**So I guess my flirting skills aren't all that bad.**

I giggled and typed a message back.

_Oh, it was bad. I'm just perceptive, unlike some people...._

The door to my room opened up and I saw Nate walk in, with his hair not quite dry yet, but with a huge smile on his face. 

"Why are you so smiley?" I ask, grabbing his towel and helping him dry his hair. 

"I'm 11, Dani! Not 3. I can dry my hair myself," He said, snatching the towel from me as I laugh

"Did you have fun today?" I ask, ignoring his outburst as he nods violently 

"I made a friend too!" 

"Did you? What's his name?" I ask curious, feeling my protective side come out. 

"Harry. I'm going over to his house tomorrow." He said excited

"I'll take you. Give me his number in the morning okay?" I say and he nods, getting into bed. Just then, I feel my phone vibrate, a smile immediately forming on my face. Holy shit what is wrong with me?

**Practice makes perfect, babe.**

_Well then, I guess you need a lot of practice. I would suggest a tutor, maybe a workshop?_

**I would suggest that you become my tutor, but I know we won't get much done for your agenda. My agenda is totally different though ;)**

_Don't make me call the manners police._

**Oh role play, I love it ;)**

Boys are idiots! Shaking my head, I cuddle my pillow and type him a message. 

_How did you get my number anyway? I can't even say you're a stalker. You're just that obtuse_

**I'm just that good.**

_Self praise is donkey's praise...Guess it does fit you, Ashton._

**Mean much :(**

_Aww, I'm sowwee. Did I hurt your fragile male ego?_

**Luke gave it to me. Why does he have your number and not me?**

_He asked and I gave it to him_

**So if I ask you, you would give it to me.**

_I would give you MY NUMBER and nothing else, pervert._

**You love it, babe.**

_Whatever helps you sleep at night, Irwin. Goodnight Boardshorts_

**Goodnight beautiful. xx**

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Oof!" Was the first thing that escaped my mouth in the morning as I felt a hard object jump on my stomach. Immediately,  I curled into a fetal position and internally groaned. 

"Wake up! Wake up!" I heard as the bed inflated and deflated at the jumping presence. "Dani!" I heard another scream for the voice, finally registering it as Nathan. 

"What Nate?" I groaned groggily and in pain. 

"You promised you would take me to Harry's house! He already called asking if I was going. Hurry up, Dani!" He screamed and shook me harder. With a groan, I reluctantly got out of bed, Nathan's words still not registering in my brain. I walked sluggishly and dragged my feet across the living room all the way to the bathroom, ignoring the presence of my old acoustic guitar next to it.

After getting ready, I walked into the kitchen, making myself coffee. Can't there just be one day where I can sleep in without either being woken up by my father, Luke or Nathan?! I'm a good person! I deserve my sleep, goddamnit! 

"Can we go now, Dani!" My brother whined patiently as I was sipping my coffee. 

"I need to call this person and ask him for his details, baby. I can't just send you to some random person's house." I explained, sipping on my coffee.

"But Dani!" He whined and I shook my head, indicating that I wasn't going to budge on my decision. Like the little boy that he was, he slumped down on the chair and folded his hands accross his chest. I shook my head and giggled to myself. After finishing my coffee, Nate gave me Harry's number and I dialed it on my phone. 

"Hello?" The small voice on the other side answered, and I mentally sighed in relief. Good so he wasn't a pedophile.

"Hiya! I'm Nathan's sister. I just wanted to check if it was okay that he came over today?" I asked 

"Oh hi! Yeah, I asked my mom and she said it was fine. She's not going to be home today though." He said, his voice shaking slightly. 

"Is there going to be any adult at home?" I asked earning a groan from my little brother, who dragged his hands down on his face as I glared at home. 

"Yeah, my older brother is," He said. 

"Awesome! So I just need your address now." I said and mentally took note of it and repeated it to him just so I got it right. After I hung up, I looked at Nathan who looked mortified. 

"You're not my mom," He deadpanned and I nodded. 

"I know I'm not. I'm your protective older sister, people often mistake that for parenting." I said while tying my shoelaces and he sighed. 

"Can we go now?" He asked and I nodded, making sure I locked the door behind me, seeing as no one but us were home. We were lucky enough to get a cab from our house and reached Harry's house in about 10 minutes. The town was pretty small, so anything more than a 15 minute drive was considered long. After paying the cab guy, we walked up the driveway and I knocked on the door. I heard a muffled incoherent yell from the other side and assumed that it was someone yelling 'I'm coming'. Just as that happened, my phone started to ring. 

"Bud, stay here okay. Don't go in without me," I said and walked off to the side to take the call. 

"Hiya!" I answered, still looking at Nathan from the corner off my eye. 

"Hey!" I heard the other voice say. 

"Look Luke, I'm really sorry for how I-" 

"No, no. I'm the one who should be apologising, I was rude and I didn't mean to say-" 

"But you were right. I dont know why-"

"I wasn't. You're such a nice-"

"Can one of us finish our sentence before the other one interrupts?" I say and laugh, hearing Luke chuckle from the other end. 

"I'm really sorry, Dani." He said, sincerity filling his voice. 

"You don't have to be. But I'm sorry too." I say smiling. 

"So we're even now," He says and I can hear his smile, as weird as that sounds. 

"I guess we are, Hemmings." I say and smile back. 

"So what are you upto?" He says casually.

"Oh shit!" I say and turn around, not being able to see Nathan. "Luke, I'll call you back!" I say, urgency filling my voice as I hang up and run to the door, knocking it harshly. 

"Is Nathan here?" I say immediately as the door opens up. 

"Well hello to you too, Rolling Stones." I hear as the stupid, adorable grin appears on Ashton's face. 

"Really Boardshorts?" 

"So, I get your number and you get my address; well isn't this interesting. Can you imagine what you'll get when I find out your favourite band." He says cockily. 

"So Harry is your brother then, I'm assuming." I say ignoring his last statement.

"Well, this is my house." He says gesturing to his house, well obviously. 

"Do you treat all your guests like this, or is today some special occassion? I'm going to guess, Douche Day?" 

"You wound me, pretty lady." He said, his hand shooting up to clutch at his heart. 

"Never again, Irwin." I say shaking my head and walking through the threshold, taking in my surroundings. From the outside, the house looks small but on the inside, it's huge. When you enter the house, to the left is a corridor that seems to lead to the kitchen, with pictures hanging throughout the white wall. On the right was a television room, with red and white couches and a gigantic television. The minute you step into the house, you're greeted with a staircase that leads to the first floor, where already you can see four rooms. 

"Can I get you something to drink?" Ashton says nervously. 

"Aww, did Douche Day end already?" I say while turning around to face him.

"Fine then, no drink for you!" He says with a pout. Holy shit his lips look soft and plump, I can practically imagine having those lips meet mine and how they would feel against my ski- No no Dani! You cannot have these thoughts, he's annoying Boardshorts guy, with a million cute little laughs that make you melt. You had one job brain, one job! 

"Dani?" He asks, snapping his fingers in front of my face snapping me out of what I hope are the last of those thoughts. "Where did you go?" He asks. Well Ashton, apparently I went to Erotica Land. Do you not remember coming with me? Pun fully intended. 

"Just...thinking..." I say cautiously.

"Well okay then." He says looking everywhere, except me. "So...what do you want to do?" He asks, hands in his pocket while rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet 

"Are we going to do the whole 'what do you want to do?', 'Oh I don't know it's your house', 'Oh but you're the guest' thing" I ask and Ashton lets out a loud guffaw, making me smile in the process. 

"It's a social obligation, babe." He says winking at me, making heat rise to my cheeks slightly. I can't help it! I'm a hormonal teenage girl and he's an attractive teenage boy! The universe is practically begging me to climb him like a tree!

"Well, let's skip that one, shall we?" I ask and look around, spotting the family pictures that grace the wall, giving it a homey feel. 

"I would suggest Netflix and chill, but I'm pretty sure you would kick me for that," He says, his hand scratching the back of his neck. 

"I hope you know I'm Dani and not the blonde crop top chick." I said, watching the grin from his face fall and a sigh escaping his lips. 

"It's complicated." He said simply, his eyes filling with an emotion that I couldn't exactly identify. "Do you want to go up to my room?" He asks finally and I nod, letting him lead the way. 

"Well..." He says, looking at me before opening the door for me to enter first. "This is it," he said nervously as I heard the click of the door .

"Nervous, Irwin?" I tease while looking around the room, my eyes fixating on the acoustic guitar identical to mine that was leaning casually on the bed frame.

"N-no." he stutters and I look at him with a cocky grin on my face.

"Awww, little Irwin is jealous." I coo and he stares menacinly at me, bounding forward with a dangerous yet micschievious look on his face, causing me to step backward, the back of my knees hitting the bed. I gasped as my back hit the soft mattress while Ashton climbed on top of me, knees on either side of my body. I could feel his body heat on mine as his breath fans over my face, his eyes darkening slightly. 

"Do I look nervous now?" He asks, voice as steady as a rock. Unable to speak, I shake my head, my heart beating faster causing me to pant slightly. I could see Ashton's arms flex while he was on top of me, not quivering in the slighest. I reached up my arms slowly  to put them on his shoulder while Ashton looked at me in surprise. He tried to look into my eyes but I wouldn't let him, my eyes averting everywhere, except for his face. I could his stare, but I ignored it.

"Look at me, love." He said huskily, shattering my inner fangirl and my stubborness. As soon as I looked at his hazel eyes that were melting me on the spot, I gasped. The intensity in his eyes sparked something in me as I kept darting between his eyes and lips that looked equally as good. Desperate for his touch, I nodded slightly seeing that he wanted confirmation that I wanted this as much as he did. He leaned down slowly as I leaned up to meet him halfway. 

A loud blare echoed around the room, causing Ashton to jump off of me, and fall down to the floor as I jumped, hitting his forehead in the process, both of us groaning loudly. I looked around the room, filled with annoyance, to find the source of my anger (and the reason I didn't get to kiss Ashton. What the hell?!) I saw my phone vibrating and glowing, which is how I am meant to be right now! 

"What?!" I spat, hearing a chuckle from Ashton, ignoring him. 

"Are you okay?!" I heard Luke scream from the phone, making me pull it away from my ear. 

"Luke?" I asked for confirmation. Suddenly, Ashton's voice couldn't be heard, I turned around to see his face expressionless. 

"You hung up and then I-"

"I'm fine, Luke. I just couldn't see Nathan and my sister insticts went all crazy." I said looking questioningly at Ashton who shrugged it off. 

"Oh thank God! I almost called the cops." He said in an accusatory tone which caused me to laugh. 

"Yeah right! 'Cause you and the cops are besties, especially Mr. Ella Gouldings." I said referring to the cop who we saw the other day while blaring Ellie Goulding. 

"You said you would never bring it up again!" He said morbidly as I laughed, forgetting that Ashton was also in the same room until he cleared his throat, which made me jump. 

"Uhh, I'll call you back, yeah?" I said and hung up, looking at Ashton like a kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. 

"So... That was Luke. He just called to check up on me and-"

"Yeah, I got that." He spat, getting off the floor and dusting his hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Peachy." 

"Well, I can leave if you..." I said and trailed off, pointing at the door while he shook his head and sat on the bed, causing the acoustic guitar to fall down with a small thud. I rushed over and picked it up, examining it for any damage.

"Do you play?" He asked, interest filling both his voice and his eyes.

"What? Uhm...I used to." I said, handing the guitar over to him. "Do you?" I asked, mentally slapping myself. Obviously he plays, why else would he have a guitar in his room. 

"Yeah, I play that and the drums." He says, starting to tune the guitar while strumming it. 

"Drums?" I asked and he nodded eagerly, grabbing the neck of the guitar in one hand and my hand in his other, throwing the door open and dragging me downstairs, and to the back of the staircase. Behind that, there was a door and a staircase leading down to the basement. I was greeted by a pitch black, I would usually be scared however I had Ashton's hand in mine, and for some reason I felt safer here, than I ever did in my life. My hand was tingling with something I've never felt before as he intertwined our fingers together, causing my cheeks to heat up and a smile to appear on my face. Then there was light, and I could see that a smile had appeared on Ashton's face too as he stared at me, which made my cheeks heat up further. 

"Drums," I said softly, hoping to distract him so he wouldn't notice my...whatever this was. 

"Yeah!" He said excited, all attention off me, which made me mentally sigh in relief. Suddenly I felt cold, his fingers released mine, and I wasn't safe anymore. I wanted to pull him back and hug him tightly, hoping to feel warm body pressed against mine (and his abs). Alas, I couldn't. I felt like a Shakespearean heroine, with all my dramatic feelings. 

"I come here every night to blow off some steam, usually Luke, Michael and Calum come too and we just jam." He said sitting on the drum stool, twirling the sticks in his hand while talking to me, making me smile...I don't know what's happening to me. "Do you want to play with me?" He asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

"Sorry?" I ask, my dirty mind coming into play.

"Drums? Do you want to play with me?" He asks again and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"Umm, I'm not very good at the drums...and by good I mean I don't know how to play," I confess, making him chuckle

"That's why I'm here love, come on, I'll show you," He says holding out his hand. I take a step but suddenly stop, remembering the vow I made to myself the day my dad left. 

My dad and I were very close, once upon a time, we used to play everyday. He taught me the guitar while he played the piano. We dreamt that we would one day play in front of a crowd, together. We were going to go on and play sold out shows and we would start together and finish together. Then one day, he left - no note, no text, no message...no music. That was the day I vowed never to play again, any instrument. 

"Dani?" Ashton said, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

"I..I can't" I stammer, my breath getting heavier, shallower. I can't breathe....Why can't I breathe? I can't...There...I can't breathe. 

"Hey, hey." Ashton said, leaping out of his chair, pulling me closer to him, rubbing my back, whispering 'You're okay' over and over agan, until I've calmed down. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. I nodded meekly, burrying my head into the crook of his neck while he hugged me tighter. "You're okay, I've got you." He says, pulling me closer, his head burried in my hair, kissing it.

"I'm sorry." I mutter against his neck. He pulls us apart, much to my dismay.

"Never, ever apologise for that, okay." he says and hugs me again, making my eyes well up, but I never cry, so I blink them away. 

"Thank you, Ash." I say, pulling away and kissing his cheek. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks and I shake my head. "Your mom didn't send you by your own will did she?" He asks after a minute of silence. 

"It's complicated," I mutter, my eyes glued to my shoelaces of my red converse. 

"Are you ever going to trust me enough to tell me?" He asks with sincerity.

"It's not that simple, Ash," I said, defeated. After what seemed like eternity, Ashton let out a deep sigh and with a determination in his eyes, he started talking. 

"My father left us when I was 8. I-"

"What are you doing?" I asked, startled. 

"How can you trust me when I don't fully trust you? It's not fair to ask you to do that. So, I'm telling you something that only 3 other people know - Luke, Calum and Michael. I need you to trust me enough to want to tell me anythng." 

"I barely know you! You don't even know my favourite colour, Ashton and you want to tell me something that...that deep! What are you doing?" I screamed at him, horrified. 

"It's my secret, Dani! You don't get a say in who I reveal it to," 

"I do when that person is me! And if you're only telling me this so I can tell you why I had an attack then you can forget it." I spat, getting up and walking up the stairs. 

"Dani, wait" He said bounding up after me.

"No, Ashton!" I screamed and turned around, angry tears welling up in my eyes. "Just...stop." I said, defeated. 

"I wasn't trying to get you to tell me anything you didn't want to, it's just that I wanted you to trust me enough to-"

"To what Ashton?! Can't you see that everytime something good happens in my life, I push it away! And you talk about trust," I scoffed, "You're thinking of the wrong girl, Ash. I don't trust people, I can't" 

"Try." He said simply, cautiously reaching his fingers out to grab my wrist, pulling me closer, "Try." He whispered again. I nodded, following him when he pulled me on the couch, sitting next to me, torso turned towards me.

"My father left when I was 8. I remember it so clearly...It was a day before my 8th birthday, Harry was sleeping upstairs, he was only 1. I heard noises from the kitchen at 11 at night and I got out of bed to check it out. I walked down the stairs and almost slipped when I got scared at the sound of glass shattering. I ran faster, I saw my mother crying and my dad was drunk, he was so drunk. He had come back like this a couple of times before, but mom would never let me see, she would send me to the neighbours or lock me upstairs. I remember my dad shouting about how my mother was cheating on him with his co-worker, he was screaming profanities at her, cursing her and me ; he didn't know I could hear everything, my mom didn't know either." He said, his fingers playing with mine. I reached my other hand to grasp his hand with mine. He looked up at me and smiled slightly as I intertwined our fingers together. 

"I remember gasping," he continued, unable to meet my eyes, "My mother saw me and tried to play the whole thing as a game but I knew better than that. My drunk dad bounded towards me and tried to...I actually don't know what he was going to do but I saw violence written all over him. My mom pulled him back, pulled him back so hard that she almost fell, but she didn't. My mom is the strongest person I know...." he said and paused, giving himself some time to calm down. I squeezed his hand lightly, showing my support and he squeezed back, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"My mom screamed at me to go upstairs, but I couldn't. She calmed down before telling me that she would come up and tuck me in. Then I left and went to my room. I couldn't sleep, all I heard was shouting and then a door slammed, it was so loud, I remember thinking that it was thunder. I was so scared, I hid under my blanket until my door opened and I heard my mother call out to me and she told me that it was alright and that my dad just had a hard day at work. I crawled into her lap and she talked to me until I fell asleep. My dad never came back...Harry doesn't even know who his father is. I'm glad he doesn't, the older I got, the more I started to see how my so-called father, was never a father but more like a leech. He only wanted money for booze. Ever since that day I had to grow up, I had to be the man of the house, I had to take care of Harry and I had to help out with as many jobs as I possibly could....Not once did I regret not having a father."

After finishing his story, Ashton looked at me. I was surprised at how there was no grief in his eyes, none at all. There was only determination. I looked at him speechless but with so much respect. 

"You're amazing, Ash. Truly you are, you're honestly the only person who I know that has gone through so much, yet manages to be such a positive and wonderful person." I say and pull him into a hug, with him reciprocating it as soon as it happened. "I may not be capable of much trust, but whatever I am capable of, I'm trusting it with you. Please don't break it," I whisper, causing him to hug me even harder. 

"Well, this has been an eventful couple of hours," I say as soon as we pull away from the hug. 

"Stick with me kid and everything will be eventful," He says cockily with a wink and I roll my eyes. 

"And we're back..." 

"Ice cream?" He saya and I nod eagerly, sticking out my hand so he can pull me off the couch. 

"Out of curiosity, what is your favourite colour?" He asks while scooping ice cream out of the tin. 

"Royal blue," I say, sticking a spoonfull of ice cream in my mouth, licking the spoon after. 

"Mine's green," 

"Oh, I know." I say, sticking another spoonfull in my mouth.

"How?" He asks wearily.

"You have green all over your room, plus your casing outline for your drums are a dark green, also your sheets in your room are a mix of green and a little yellow." I explain while scooping out another spoonfull of ice cream and licking it from the spoon. 

"Okay creeper," He says whie putting the ice cream back in the freezer, taking out chocolare chips to sprinkle on his ice cream. 

"So what's the deal with you and the blonde anyway?" I blurt out causing Ashton to hit his head on the freezer door and the chocolate chips to fall on his foot. I didn't know whether to laugh or to help him, so I stuck with the former. 

"Glad to know my pain is comical," He mutters, rubbing his head while picking the chocolate chips from the floor. 

"Touchy subject I see, pun intended." I say, snatching the chocolate chips from his hand and putting them on my ice cream. 

"It's complicated," 

"So uncomplicate it." I say like it's the easiest thing in the world. 

"Maybe another day, Rolling Stones." He says eating his ice cream and I smile 

"We have plenty of those, Boardshorts." 

 


	7. Chapter 7

3:46AM 

 

The numbers glared at me angrily as I kept tossing and turning in my bed, not being able to get Ashton's story out of my mind. The words repeated itself, running around in a circle ; never ending. Finally deciding that I had enough, I angrily threw my blanket's off me, grabbing my glasses from my bedside table and a hair tie to quickly tied my hair in a messy bun, before grabbing my phone and headphones, walking out of my house, not bothering with how I looked. It was almost 4 in the morning! Who is going to care about what I wear anyway?! 

 

I walked aimlessly, blasting my music through the headphones, bobbing my head and singing along to it seeing how it was 4 in the morning and no one was around me. I found myself at the rock that I watched the sunset from a couple of days ago. I smiled to myself at the memories that this rock already held, and thought about how many more I could create. 

 

I climbed onto the rock, staring at the horizon while the music played in the background. Pausing my music, I sighed and leaned back on the rock with my legs stretching out in front of me. I thought about how fitting it was how on that day, I watched the sunset, symbolising me leaving my old life behind and now I might be watching the sunrise, it was a full circle. I am starting a new life - I have new friends now, better friends that what I ever had, my relationship with my younger brother has gotten stronger and I'm opening up now - something I have never been able to do before. 

 

With all these thoughts running through my mind, I decided I couldn't handle it anymore - so I plugged my headphones back in and increased the volume. I leaned my head back against the rock and watched the night sky. Back at home, there were no stars - well technically speaking there were stars but we couldn't see them because there was too much light. But over here, there was nothing blocking me anymore, nothing holding me back...So why am I still scared? 

 

The fact that I can still hear my thoughts show how powerful they are....or how the music stopped playing. Looking down at my phone, I saw the low battery sign a second before my iPhone died. Stupid iPhone battery. 

 

"Rolling Stones...Or should I say Rolling Rock," I heard suddenly, making me jump.

 

"Jesus Christ! You scared me!" 

 

"The name's Ashton, love. You should know that by now," He says climbing up the rock before lying down beside me, putting his hands under his head before sighing. We sat in silence with nothing but my headphones and phone between us. 

 

"Why are you here?" He asked, turning his head slightly to look at me. 

 

I turned my head slightly, looking at him only to find him staring back at me with such intensity in his eyes, "Well Ash," I said trying to lighten the mood, "My dad and mom loved each other, once upon a time, and they got married. So one da-" 

 

"Why are you on the rock?" He sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

"Couldn't sleep." I said simply before looking at the stars again. 

 

"Neither could I." 

 

"I guessed as much." I said, shivering slightly as the gust of cold wind blew, making my skin prickle. Sensing this, Ashton moved my phone and headphones that were in between us and pulled me closer to him. I blushed but put my head on his chest, curling up to him. We cuddled in a comfortable silence, which surprised me seeing as how this was the first proper time that we've hung out (if this even counts as hanging out) without fighting. 

 

"I didn't know you wore glasses," He commented while getting comfortable on the rock. 

 

"It's for reading." I said while feeling self conscious as not many people have seen me with my glasses. 

 

"You look cute in it. You should wear it more often," He said smiling as a small blush appeared on my cheeks thankful that I was cuddled up to him so he couldn't see it.

 

"Did you walk here?" I asked quickly changing the topic away from me. If he noticed what I was doing, he didn't comment on it which made me extremely grateful as I was an awkward turtle when it came to my appearance and somebody talking about it. I just acted confident, which is much harder than it seems. 

 

"No, I drove here." He said while laughing. "My house is like 10 minutes by car, I am way too lazy to walk that far." 

 

I laughed along with him as we fell back in silence, gazing at the stars.

 

"Are you ever going to tell me the real reason that you've come here, Dani?" He asked, shattering the silence. I felt fear course through my veins, knowing what he was asking. 

 

"Someday." I say, my voice breaking slightly. 

 

"Do you still not trust me?" He said, pained while hugging my tighter to his body, while rubbing circles on my shoulder. I strain my neck up to look at him and shake my head, seeing his face fall and his arm go limp.

 

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ash. It's just that..." I say and trail off, unable to continue my sentence.

 

"I don’t know what else I can do to prove that I'm here for you." He confesses softly as we fall back in silence.

 

"I've spent so long in the darkness that I've forgotten what the moonlight looks like," I quoted, crumbling the tense silence before sitting up, the cold forming a barrier from the heat on my body. I looked at the sky and said, "The stars are so beautiful. We couldn't see them back home, there was too much pollution, too much light, but here in the darkness, something that has been the villain in so many lives...People don't appreciate how even in the darkest of times there are rays of hope, tiny ones, maybe even miniscule, but there's always going to be hope. Just like the stars on the darkest of nights."  

 

"Who hurt you so bad that you can't even keep the slightest of trust in someone?" 

 

I simply smiled.

 

"Pain does one of two things Ashton - it either hurts so much to the point where they shut down, or it changes a person."

 

"What did it do to you?" 

 

"Both." 

 

We fell back in silence after that, each of us on our own side, mulling over whatever thoughts lingered in our minds, maybe even thoughts stuck in a web, thoughts that were never leaving...But now more than ever, I felt awake.

 

"I'm not going to force you to tell me anything," He said, grabbing my fingers, pulling my hand up before intertwining our fingers together. "Just know that whenever you want to, or even feel like talking to someone at 4.45 in the morning, I'll be right there." Immediately after he said that, my arms were around his neck as I hugged him close to my to the point where I felt his warm breath on my neck, making mu imagination run wild to the possibilities of feeling his breath on other parts of my body - I immediately pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind. 

 

"Whenever you're ready, love." He whispered while putting his arms around me, puling me tighter towards him, making me shift slightly onto him. 

 

"Thank you," I expressed grateful, pulling back reluctantly from the hug and looking at his dimpled smile that made my heart flutter, for a reason unknown to me. I blamed it on the emotional and tense situation. 

 

"Anytime love," His smile getting bigger, dimples getting deeper. So deep that the entire ocean can rest on just one of his cute little dimples. He pulled me closer to him and we cuddled again, falling back into the cycle of going silent before spewing random information making us both guffaw and double over in laughter ; leaving the emotional drama aside. 

 

From afar I was sure that we looked like two kids in love, which was ironic considering how I don't believe in love ; To me it was all folklore. From afar I was sure that Ashton looked like a protective boyfriend, with his hand snaked over my waist, ghosting his fingers up and down my waist and his other hand on the opposite side of my shoulder, alternating between rubbing circles and drawing patterns on it. From afar, I was sure that I looked like his girlfriend just from the way I was resting on Ashton - my head was on his chest while my legs were curled and cuddled up on his hip, the way my hand was on his torso - comforting and caring, and the way I was alternating between looking at him, with the biggest smile on my face or burrying my head in his chest while I laugh at his lame jokes. Just by looking at us, I was sure that people thought we were a couple.

 

"Drapetomania." I blurted, distracting myself from my thoughts while looking at the horizon, anxiously waiting for the sun to come up seeing as it was already nearing 6 in the morning. 

 

"What's that?" He asked, moving his hand that rested on my hip underneath his head to prop it up, while the other hand rubbed circles on my shoulder. 

 

"People often mistake it for an uncontrollable urge to run away when in reality it was a mental illness that this scientist, Dr. Samuel Cartwright invented for the black slaves. He called it the Runaway Slave Syndrome." I explained absentmindedly-drawing patterns on his torso while my head rest perfectly on his chest. 

 

"How do you know all these things?" He asked curiously 

 

"Well there's thing called Google that is in the internet. You should check it out sometime." I said, craning my head up to meet his eyes with mine and gave his famous goofy smile, giggling. 

 

"Thanks, Einstein." He said sarcastically while rolling his eyes, all while a smile rested on his face, just as it should. 

 

"Has your favourite song changed yet?" He asked. 

 

"Huh?

 

"When I first met you a couple of days ago you told me your favourite songs change based on your mood. I was wondering if your favourite song has changed," He explained, drawing shapes on my shoulder rather than rubbing circles with his thumb. 

 

"Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots," I said immediately 

 

"I ponder of something great, my lungs will fill and then deflate. They fill with fire exhale desire," He sang. 

 

"Those are my favourite lines," I said surprised that he knew the song, and more so, my favourite lines of the song.

 

"They say that your favourite song reveals a lot about your personality. I believe that while favourite songs do that, they don't do it as well as your favourite lyrics. Songs will constantly be changing however a good song is one that leaves remnants of it through lyrics." 

 

"Do you know what I think?" I ask

 

"What, love?" 

 

"I think that 4 or 5am conversations reveal a person's true identity and that no other conversation is as true as these ones." I confess, one hand clutching his navy shirt while the other draws shapes and words into his torso. 

 

"So what do you think of my true identity?" He asks, nuzzling his head subtly into my hair. 

 

"I think that you're helpful, caring, kind, extremely intuitive and a great person." I say looking up at him, seeing his face grow into a giant grin while a small blush appears on his cheeks. "But you're annoying," I say while sticking out my tongue showing him that I was joking. He gasped and moved his hand quickly on my hip and started tickling me. I squirmed, trying to get away from him by rolling to the other side of him. He climbed on top of me and started to tickle me harder while his knees rested on either side of my hip. 

 

"A-As-sh," I stammered while laughing and squirming.

 

"Say you're sorry and that I'm not annoying!" 

 

"I d-don't li-ie." 

 

"Say it, Walker!" 

 

"F-fine, fin-e," I stammer, squirming and laughing loudly and he stops to let me say the sentence, "You're sorry and that I'm not annoying." I say, stifling laughter as I repeated exactly what he says. He grins mischievously and brings his hands down as a threat and when he sees that I won't budge, he tickles me again ; but this time, it's harder. I laugh harder and after 20 or so seconds, we're both out of breath. I leaned back against the rock, panting while Ashton is still on top of me, neither of us realising our compromising position. When I raise my head, I see him staring at me, his pupils darkening, eyes flitting between my eyes and my lips. 

 

Electricity was running through my veins, my heart started beating erratically and it was because he was just staring at me, longingly, desperately...perfectly. In a fleeting moment I thought about how would it feel to have his plump, pink lips on mine? How would it feel to have his hands cup my cheek, stroking it lovingly? How would it feel to have his hands explore my body? 

 

His face moved closer to me, his eyes never losing contact with mine. I wasn't sure if a heart that was beating this fast was normal. My eyes fluttered shut as I leaned up slightly waiting for his lips to meet mine. After a couple of seconds, I got impatient and I leaned up slightly and our lips moulded together in a slow embrace, pulsing adrenaline through my body as we move in sync. My hands reach up to the back of his neck,puling him closer while pulling on his hair slightly as he groans. As the kiss got more urgent, he moved his hand to rest on my waist while the other reached out and cupped my cheek, ghosting circles over it. We lose ourselves in the kiss, not noticing how the sun was slowly rising over the horizon, looking at us while we ignore the world and lose ourselves in each other.

 

We pull away reluctantly to catch our breaths, smiling as we do so. He rests his forehead on mine as we breathe heavily, becoming aware of our surroundings. I finally gather up the courage to look at Ashton only to find that his eyes never left mine. His tongue quickly wet his lips as he gazed at me. I pulled our foreheads apart, leaning back against the rock, already craving his body heat on mine, craving the feel of his lips on mine...craving him. 

 

My thoughts were running wild - How did Ashton feel about this? What does this mean for us? But isn't he with the blonde chick? Is this just a one time thing? Is he cheating on the blonde with me? Why-

 

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Ashton's husky voice "The sun's rising." I looked at him and saw his blank expression, conveying no emotion. My thoughts attacked me. This is one of the reasons I hated being an over thinker. I simply nodded and looked away and focused all my attention on clearing my mind and just appreciating the moment. I've seen a billion sunsets, but who knows how many more sunrises I'll be fortunate enough to see? I exhaled, my breath coming out shaky as I leaned back on my hands and closed my eyes.

 

After a couple minutes of basking in the sunrise, I felt Ashton's hand brush against mine, slowly picking it up, giving me time to adjust my body weight as it was resting on my palms and he intertwined our fingers, neither of us looking at the other. We sat in silence for about 10 minutes before he finally spoke up. 

 

"Do you need a ride back?" He asked, our eyes finally meeting. I contemplated both the pros and the cons of hitching a ride back from him when he suddenly interrupted my train of thought - "It's only a drive back, I promise I'm not a serial killer." 

 

"Hey, I haven't been here long, for all I know you might be a serial killer!" I said attempting to return us to some normalcy, the kiss pushed to the back… Or well the side of my mind. 

 

"Shit, I thought I was better at hiding this secret," He said snapping his fingers pretending to regret it as we fell back to normalcy, both of us laughing.

 

"Ready to go?" He asked and I nodded, looking at the sunrise one last time before walking hand in hand with Ashton to his car. He opened the door for me before walking to his side of the car and got in.

 

We settled in silence. For me it was awkward but I didn't know how it was for him. Was he thinking about this as much as I was? What if he doesn't want to talk about it, ever? What if it was just a spur of the moment thing? What if he never wanted to acknowledge me again? What if he's actually sleepwalking with his eyes open and he thinks this is all a dream? What if this was all a dream for me? Wh-

 

"Mephobia." he blurted, breaking me out of my thoughts.

 

"Sorry?"

 

"Mephobia." He repeated, "The fear of becoming so awesome that the human world can't handle it and everyone dies."

 

"Are you trying to insinuate something, Irwin?"

 

"I know I'm awesome and all but if you were wondering why I couldn't be more awesome, then here's your reason." He said looking at me, grinning and then concentrated on the road again. I reached over and pressed my hand on his forehead. "What are you doing?"

 

"Hmm, just as I thought, you're delusional from this fever." I said acting like a doctor. "And don't you dare say that you're just hot."

 

"Damn Walker, you spend a couple of days with me and you already know all my moves, I should start looking for new ones." He said and I immediately started analysing this sentence. All his moves? Does this mean...the kiss? "Here we are." He said, interrupting my thoughts once again.

 

"How do you even know where I-" I said but interrupted myself, "Luke." I stated and he nodded.

 

"So he gets your number and your address..." He accused and I couldn't figure out if it was jokingly or serious, maybe even both?

 

"Jealous?" I tease.

 

"Is there something to be jealous about?" 

 

"Is there a reason you feel jealous?"

 

"Goodnight beautiful." He wished while unlocking the car door and diverting the conversation.

 

"Goodmorning Boardshorts." I wished back, grabbing my phone and headphones while smiling with a tint on my cheeks. 

 

I walked up the driveway, opening the door and turned back only to see Ashton waiting for me to enter the house. I smiled and waved to which he returned before driving the car away. Once the door was closed, I saw my dad sipping coffee, leaning against the counter.

 

"Well, isn't this a surprise." He stated, his glasses fogging up from the steam.

 

"It's not what you think," I sighed.

 

"It better not be what I think!" He said, voice getting louder.

 

"I couldn't sleep so I took a walk on the beach and then Ashton, who is a friend saw me and we just started talking. I didn't feel like walking back so I hitched a ride." I explained shrugging my shoulders.

 

"Something could've happened to you! How stupid do you have to be to go out in the middle of the night without informing anyone!" He screamed at me.

 

"You can stop acting like a father, you're only one in name and-"

 

"Danielle!" He bellowed slamming his coffee cup on the counter

 

"Can't handle the truth?" I retorted. He did nothing but stare at me with anger in his eyes, hands shaking slightly. "I've taken care of myself and of Nathan for about 5 years, I can handle anything." I said my voice breaking slightly at the end.

 

"That's not true." He whispered, hurt evident in his voice.

 

"It is!" I screamed, "You know it is! You left! You broke us! We were a happy family, once upon a time and now we're nothing. Mom didn't even look at us when you left, she shut herself down. I had to take care of Nathan! I had to make sure he was fed, clothed...happy." 

 

"Dani, you don't understand what your mother and I went through. It was hard-" He started to explain but I cut him off.

 

"I don't understand? You don't understand what I went through! You don't understand how much you shattered us!"

 

"You won't even give me a chance, how am I supposed to explain my side of it." He said, defeated.

 

"You left us. You left me, dad. We were so close and suddenly one day - you were gone. No note, no text, no letter, no explanation." I said my voice growing softer and softer until it broke at the end. Quickly gathering myself up, I spoke with fake confidence, "So excuse me for not wanting to join this so called reunion with a person who gave me nothing else but my genetics." 

 

Standing in the doorway glaring at my 'father', I decided I had enough of tension so I shook my head and walked to my room, slamming the door behind me. "Nate?" I called out the second the door closed. I could see him on his bed with the pillow covering his ears. Guilt flooded me as I took in the scene in front of me. I walked towards him and sat on his bed, reaching my hand out to push back his hair on his forehead and planted a kiss on it. 

 

"I'm sorry you had to listen to that, baby." I apologised lying down next to him. He immediately curled into my side as I ran my fingers through his hair. 

 

"Does he hate us now?" My little brother asked, his voice breaking due to the tears.

 

"He's our dad. He could never hate us." I said for his comfort.

 

"Please don't fight with him. I want us to be a family again." He said making the guilt crash onto me. 

 

"We were always a family Nate. We're our own version of family." 

 

I heard Nathan's breathing slow and become heavier as he fell asleep curled up to my side while I brushed my fingers through his hair. This action also comforted me as I felt my eyes drift shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up past noon and noticed that I was the only one in the house, so I took my time getting ready. I blasted music while showering and sang on the top of my lungs. I even watched an episode of Friends while I let my hair air dry seeing as I was going to straighten it afterwards and didn't want too much heat on it. After it dried, I put some music on as well as my clothes and started to straighten my hair. I looked at myself one last time and nodded in approval before grabbing my wallet, phone and my sunglasses and locked up before looking for a restaurant to eat. 

While I was walking, my phone started to ring with an unknown number. 

"Hello?" I answered. 

"Hi Dani! It's Christina!" She introduced, her chirpy voice contagious. 

"Hiya! What's up?" 

"Oh I just wanted to find out if you were busy? I was thinking we could maybe grab lunch together?" Her nervousness evident in her voice. 

"You have amazing timing! I was actually looking for a place to eat." I laughed hoping to ease her nerves.

"Where were you thinking?" She asked. I could hear the clinking of keys in the background.

"There's this shack that serves amazing Fish and Chips. You game?" 

"Awesome! Text me the address and I'll be there in a jiffy!" She responded and I laughed at how cute she was. Once we hung up, I texted her the name and address of the restaurant and went inside to get a booth for the two of us. I read over the menu while waiting for her and played with my phone when I decided what I wanted. 

"Hey Dani!" I heard, my head immediately snapping up to see a smiley Christina. I got up and hugged her. 

"You look beautiful!" I said as we sat down.

"Thank you! So do you! I love how you did your hair." She complimented. 

We ordered and settled into small talk until the waiter brought our food. We thanked him and dug in, both of us obviously hungry. 

"Are you okay?" She asked and I nodded. "You sure? Something seems to be bothering you."

"It's just that..." I started but trailed off not sure if I could trust her enough to tell her what happened between Ashton and me. I looked up and saw her nod slightly - an indication to continue. 'Screw it!' I thought and took a leap of faith.

"Is it Ashton?" She asked before I could say anything.

"How did you-?" 

"It's really obvious. Especially when you two were in your own world during lunch. Oh and how you snapped at Crop Top Bimbo." She said and laughed at the memory

"I'm not even sorry about that! She was so annoying!" I laughed along with her. 

"What's wrong Dani?" She asked again in a softer tone. 

"It's complicated, Tee." I sighed 

"Then break it up and simplify it. It'll help you make sense of everything." She advised

I let out a shaky breath and started talking, "I went to drop my younger brother, Nathan off to his friends house yesterday and it turned out that his friend's older brother is Ashton. I hung out with Ashton in his room and we almost kissed-" 

" What stopped you?" She interrupted.

"Luke called me." I said and saw her expression change. "It was only because we argued when he dropped me home. Nothing to worry about I promise," I teased which made her blush.

"Shut up and continue." She said, sticking her tongue out.

"He then showed me his drums in his basement and told me some stuff, but he kept avoiding the topic about Crop Top Bimbo, even when I asked about her. I went home and couldn't sleep so I walked around the beach at like 4 in the morning and he was there too. We just started talking and one thing led to another...We kissed." 

"Do you like him?" Christina asked simply. It's funny how the simplest of questions have the most complicated answers. 'Are you okay?' for example, nobody ever wants to hear how people aren't okay, yet they ask this question. It seems simple, doesn't it? But the answer never is. Everybody has different things going on in life- the answer to this question will never just be 'yes'. But they have to say yes, so the person asking will feel better. 'Do you like him?' What a simple question this is, isnt it? It's a simple yes or no answer, but just like the other question, everybody has different answers, different circumstances, different emotions...different people. The question in itself seems simple, seems direct, however it isn't. It all depends on the circumstance. What was I supposed to answer? Yes? No? Maybe? Can I call a friend? Maybe ask the imaginary audience? 

"I don't know." I said, finally choosing an answer. An unsatisfactory one, but still an answer nonetheless. 

"Did you like the kiss?" She tried again. 

"Yeah, yeah I did." I answered in a heartbeat, a light shade of pink tinting my cheeks. 

"So it's safe to assume that you want to do it again, right?" She questioned, earning a nod from me. "Then what are you waiting for? He has a game this evening, so here's the plan- When you see him, run up to him, grab his face and plant one on!"  I laughed at her suggestion. 

Wait - What game?" 

"The volleyball match. Did he not tell you?" She clarified. I shook my head, looking down at my food and pushing it back and forth with my fork. "I'm sure he just forgot, Dani. Don't sweat it, okay." 

"What if it was just another one of his moves, Tee? He has a lot of girls running behind him if you haven't noticed." I voiced my concerns, my emotions getting the best of me.

"Yet, he only kissed you. He wouldn't have bothered even trying to give you a ride back if you were just another girl." She said pointing her fork full of fish at me and then taking a bite off her fork. 

"But Tee, after the kiss it was all awkward! We didn't even say anything to each other about it!" 

"Give it time, Dani. It was your first kiss together anyway, both of you need to think about what you want." She advised and I nodded. What did I want? Another 'simple' question. 

"Enough about me!" I said waving me hand to dismiss the topic, "What's going on between you and Luke?" I asked wagging my eyebrows at her as a blush appeared on my cheeks.

"It's complicated," She muttered while picking at her food. 

"Simplify it," I mocked with a wink. 

"I don't think he likes me." She voiced 

"Oh honey, you're so wrong." I said with a laugh as she stared wide eyed at me

"Did he say something to you about me?" She blurted quickly.

"It's quite obvious that he's crazy about you and you, him." 

"Well he's playing with Ashton in a couple of hours at the beach. Do you think I should maybe go?" She asked, putting the nail of her thumb in between her teeth. 

"Definitely!" I smiled but a twang of disappointment and hurt hit me as I realised that I didn't even know that either Luke or Ashton were playing. 

"Please come with me!" She begged. 

"I don’t think that-"

"Trust me, they do want you there! Please come!" She pleaded, her voice getting desperate. I agreed and she cheered loudly, causing the rest of the restaurant to look at us, making me hide my face in my hands while laughing. We paid the bill and were walking towards Christina's car when my phone started to ring. 

"Hello?"

"Dani." My younger brother breathe through the phone

"Hey buddy! What's up?"

"Well dad had to leave for work so he dropped me home and-"

"You're home alone?" I questioned, my protective side coming out.

"Yeah. I was wondering if you could maybe come home so we can hang out?" 

I turned to Christina and saw her mouth, 'Everything okay' 

"One second yeah baby," I said to Nathan before covering the mouthpiece of my phone so that I could talk to Christina. "Hey Tee, is it okay if my younger brother joins us?" She nodded frantically which lead me to smile. "Fancy seeing a real match?" I asked Nathan 

"What?" 

"Do you want to see a real volleyball match with my friend and I?" I clarified 

"Yes!" He replied excitement laced in his voice. 

"We're coming to pick you up now, okay? Get ready and do not open the door for anyone!" I said and hung up, getting in the car with Christina.

"You are such a mom," She teased while laughing

"It's called being a protective sister, Tee. Shut up and drive." I muttered while laughing. Once we reached my house, I opened the door with my key and took Nathan to the car. 

"Nathan this is Christina, Christina this is my idiot of a brother, Nathan." I introduced after closing the door to the passenger seat. 

"Hiya! Nice to meet you," Christina said, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head to greet Nathan.

"Hi," He muttered shyly, earning an 'aww' from Christina. 

She drove us to the part of the beach where the match was to take place and parked the car. All of us got out and started to walk to the mass of people that were already there. There were a couple of bleacher-like structures that were placed around the 'court'. The court was a large rectangle taped off with a white and red tape indicating the outline of the court and the middle that had a net. To the sides were the bleachers and a scoreboard with the team names, rankings and the matches. 

"There's a spot!" Nathan cried out, pulling my hand towards it so that we could get it. He raced there pulling me along while Christina trailed, laughing at us. He got there, panting and sat down only to have Crop Top Bimbo scoff at him. 

"Move brat! We were here first." 

"But-but I came here first," He said, his lower lip trembling. 

"Can you guys believe this?" She said pointing at Nathan and laughing 

"Who the hell do you think you are? You're bullying a child!" Christina stepped in screaming at her.

"Oh back off, bitch!" Bimbo answered, scoffing at Christina too.

"Hey Pasty Ass! Apologise to my brother and get the hell out of our sight before I drag you from your extensions and throw you the hell out." I said puling Nathan closer to me, seething.

"Oh he's your brother. That explains a lot." She said still sitting in our seat, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Okay, that's it!" I said, pushing Nathan behind me while I charged forward only to be grabbed by the waist and pulled up. "Let me go!" I said kicking my feet in hopes that this person will let me go. 

"Calm down Rolling Stones." I heard Ashton whisper, his warm breath tickling my neck while his husky whisper caused me to go limp.

"Put me down," I said softly, pushing at his hands. 

"Will you attack her if I do?" 

"No promises." I muttered 

"Then for her sake and everyone else's I can't let you go," He whispered, tightening his grip on my waist as I kicked and pushed to try and get out of his vice grip.

"You're really going to side with this white trash?!" I screamed so that Bimbo could hear me.

"Ew!" She said, rolling her eyes at me before putting on her 'best face' which really was just her pouting that $500 plastic that she calls lips and making her eyes wider. "Ashy! I don't know why she's doing this. I didn't even do anything. The girls can even vouch for me." Her voice going at least 10 octaves higher before looking at her minions who then nodded so fast and hard that I thought their heads were going to fall off, which if you think about would actually benefit the world.

"Uhh," was all that Ashton could let out.

"Really 'Ashy'!" I said before kicking so hard that he had to let me go. "She insulted Christina and Nathan, who is just a child!"

"Dani..."

"Save it!" I said, shaking my head in disappointment before walking up to Bimbo Bitch and her posse who looked smug. I saw Ashton hesitate as to whether or not he should stop me. "Listen here and listen good," I spat, my voice lowering so that only she could hear, "If you ever insult any of my friends or even my family, I will look for you and I will pull out your fake hair and shove them in holes that you didn't even know existed. I'll hit you so hard that even your plastic surgery will need surgery. And anyways, you wouldn't even like sitting here, there's going to be direct sunlight, and plastic melts in heat."

"Well-" She started but got cut off by my eyes shooting daggers at her.

"I suggest you go before your posse and you get a serious makeover." Christina said in her sweet voice.

"Buh-bye now." Nathan said. She scoffed, slung her designer handbag over her shoulder and walked away before flipping her hair. I turned around smiling before high-fiving Nathan and Christina.

"That was...something." Ashton said with his arms folded on his chest.

I sighed remembering how the last time I confronted Bimbo Bitch went, "Should I call Bimbo over there back and make her some tea for how she treated us?!"

"She has a name you know," He pointed out, earning a glare from me.

"I know she does, but Bimbo suits her better." I said with a plastic smile before adding, "Ashy." He sighed in frustration, a stoic look settling on his face. 

"Luke!" Christina said, trying to diffuse the obvious tension lingering in the air by inviting Luke over. 

"Hey guys! What's going on?" He said, a huge grin plastered on his face as he made his way over to us. 

"Just...talking." Christina said, Ashton and I still glaring at each other. Luke looked at the scene in front of him, able to already feel the suffocating tension in the air. 

"Well, who's this little guy?" He said shifting all attention to Nathan. "Hey buddy, I'm Luke." 

"Hi," Nathan said softly, a little shy "I'm Nathan. Dani's brother." 

As Luke, Christina and Nathan made small talk, Ashton and I were still silent, still glaring at each other. 

"You know, when you talked about trust, I actually thought that you were being sincere. Boy! Was I wrong." An acidic laugh coming out of my mouth as I crossed my hands over my chest.

"Well Little-Miss-Know-It-All, seems like you really don't know anything." He said, mimicking my actions. 

"In trusting you? Yeah, big mistake on my part. But at least my mistake wasn't Bimbo Bitch over there, so I guess I do win." Just as I said this, the whole group went silent, all eyes on Ashton and me. Just as Ashton was about to speak, Luke tugged on his arm and made an excuse of their match coming up next. 

"Break a leg." I deadpanned as they walked away. Nathan, Christina and I took our seats in the second row of the bleachers, sitting in silence. 

"A little harsh don't you think, Dani?" She asked

"He deserved it." I muttered

"Are you jealous of her?" 

"Why would I be jealous of garbage?"

"She has Ashton." She said softly. 

"She has nothing but botox and fake boobs." I spat

"You are definitely jealous of her." Christina concluded.

"No I am not! Danielle Walker never gets jealous. She was rude to my brother and to you and I just stick up for what I believe in. Simple as that." 

"You're using that as an excuse and you know that. You're jealous of the fact that Ashton doesn't let her get pushed around and by you no less." 

"She's right Dani, you're jealous. You like Ashton." Nathan quipped.

"Stop eavesdropping, twerp!" I said pushing Nathan on the shoulder. "And both of you, shut up! The game is about to start." I grumbled and sulked in my seat. 

The host announced the teams one by one - Ashton and Luke's match was last seeing as they've already gone past semi finals and into the finals. They were up against some really really hot guys, droolworthy hot guys! But back to the tense match - the crowd was silent and on the edge of their seats as the opposing team made the first shot; Luke quickly dived for the volleyball and hit it to the other side, Sweaty Brunette hit it back only for Ashton to smack the ball so hard that the sound rang around the open beach. The ball fortunately missed the hands of the other team member. Seeing as I was so engrossed in the game, I jumped up from th edge of my seat and cheered only for Christina to join me as we screamed and cheered and jumped at the same time earning not only the attention of the four boys on the court but also everyone else. 

"It's called team spirit," I said with a cough before sitting down and pushing the hair out of my face, avoiding eye contact with anyone (and by anyone I mean Ashton) 

 The game progressed, each point being celebrated more and more eagerly with Christina and I jumping from our seats each time cheering on the top of our lungs, not caring about how we looked. We just enjoyed the moment and celebrated each second of it. But now we were gripping our seats, tapping our feet as the boys were losing by one point while the other team only had one more point to win. I pressed my hands together bringing my thumbnail to my mouth, biting it slightly while silently praying that our boys win. 

"Come on boys, you got this." I muttered to myself. 

Ashton and Luke switched position with Luke being in the front and Ashton being in the back, both of them serious and shirtless. I was definitely blessed, however my attention was sadly not on those beautiful sculpted torso's but rather on the game and my boys winning. Ashton served the ball, quickly getting back into position as the other team member hit the ball with the tip of his fingers over the next, sending it straight to Luke who Ace'd the ball and it fell two centimetres past Sweaty Brunette who looked disappointed in himself for not being able to get it. 

Christina screamed and jumped from her seat, cheering Luke's name. She pulled me up as well as I started to laugh and jump with her. My eyes drifted to Ashton who was looking at us in amusement and Luke who was staring at Christina with a huge grin plastered on his face. I lightly nudged Christina and with my eyes looked at Luke. She followed and when she saw Luke's face, her jumped slowed as a bright red blush appeared on her cheeks. She waved slightly at Luke who returned it, his dimples growing. I smiled at how cute they were acting, not aware of the intense stare that Ashton was giving me. The whistle sounded which made me jump in surprise and snapping Christina and Luke back to reality. 

The match was on the line as both teams were tied. Sweaty Brunette served the ball to which Ashton ran and hit back to him. His team member then tipped the ball to Sweaty Brunette and he slapped it with the palm of his hand to Ashton who dove and saved it from hitting the ground. Luke then jumped up and hit the ball straight down to the ground and fell from the force of the hit. The ball hit the ground and bounced off the court. All eyes were on the referee who had to make the call. The couple of seconds that the referee took in deciding seemed like an eternity but with the blow of the whistle and the hand gesture it was clear that Luke and Ashton had won the game. 

If Christina and I were cheering for the boys just winning a point you could imagine how loud we were at the boys winning the game. Ashton and Luke hugged each other, with grins on their faces, before walking over to the net and shaking the hands of their competitors. Ashton said something to Sweaty Brunette and his team member to which they grinned and nodded. Christina ran up to Luke and slammed into his body for a hug. He seemed taken aback for a second but quickly responded with the same fervor, picking her up and spinning her around before setting her down. She then pulled away from him and looked down at what I suspect was embarrassment. I nudged Nathan and he followed me to walk over to Luke and Christina as I couldn't see Ashton. 

"Congratulations!" I said to Luke before hugging him and turning to Christina and seeing her tank top slightly wet from Luke's sweat. I wagged my eyebrows at her before she pushed me slightly. I laughed but looked around trying to find Ashton. When I spot him, I nudge Christina, the smile from my face falling. She looks up from her conversation with Luke and rubs my arm comfortingly. 

I see Bimbo Bitch and Ashton wrapped up in what looks like a messy, sloppy kiss. His hands tight on her waist while her hands are on his face in a vice like grip. Not even 12 hours ago was his lips on mine. Guess I was just another number to him then.

"Victory party at Calum's tonight. You guys game?" Luke asks, breaking me out of a party of my own - pity party.

"Sorry, I don't think I can make it. I can't leave Nathan home alone." An excuse quickly escaping my mouth as I pull Nathan to me, my head resting on his in my own attempt at comforting myself. 

"I can always go over to Harry's." He says looking up at me.

"Baby, I can't just expect someone else to babysit you when I can't." 

"Dad is probably already home, anyway." He says, knowing what I was trying to do. I subtly glared at him as he sticks his tongue out at me.

"So it's settled!" Christina chimes, clapping her hands. "What are you going to wear?"

"Clothes." I deadpan 

"What kind of clothes?" She tries to refine

"Comfortable ones that fit." 

"We're probably the same size." She observes while comparing both of us. "Why don't we drop Nathan home and then you can come over to mine and we can get ready together." I reluctantly agree and we head off. 

Once we reach Christina's house, she pulls me to her room, which is gorgeous! Her bed is stark white that is a huge contrast to her lavender coloured room. There were fairy lights tangles on and around her headboard. Her study table held her Macbook with books strewn all over. 

"Excuse the mess, I haven't had time to clean up." She apologises, kicking clothes under her bed thinking that I wouldn't see it. 

"Your room is super tumblr-like." I admire 

"Hashtag tumblr gal." She says mocking Bimbo Bitch which causes me to double over in laughter at how accurate her impression was. 

"I can't believe he's with her." I sigh as we make our way to her closet, short-listing all the options for the party. "What about this one?" I say as I pull the hanger off the rod holding up a sparkly, sheer black top. 

"I don't want to wear black. I'll blend in with the shadows." She says, throwing the top to the back of her closet which made me laugh. "Are you really that jealous of her?" She asks, shuffling through more of her clothes.

"What's there to be jealous about?" I scoffed pulling out a mint green dress. "Tee, you have to wear this! You would look frickin' phenomenal!" I say handing it to her along with a brown belt. "Plus, Luke would go crazy." I tease, earning a shove on the shoulder while she goes to her bathroom to try it on. I kept browsing, not seeing anything that would fit for the party. Just as I was giving up hope, I see [Christina coming out of the bathroom](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=179307530), dressed with lipgloss and eyeliner on. "If Luke doesn't make a move, I will." I compliment.

She blushed and looked at me, "Still nothing?" I shake my head, sighing. "We're going to make you hotter than you already are. Trust me." She says while flipping her hair and ruffling through her messy closet. "Dress or top?" She enquires, her tone gone business like. 

"Top." I decide, firmly. 

"Cropped or normal?

"Crop it, baby!" I sing in a high-pitched voice. Moving as fast as light, Christina starts throwing options at me. She settles on only throwing five at me. "Choose." 

There was a leopard print, which I threw back at her and then took a look at the shiny skintight nude crop top. Deciding that I liked it, I kept to one side. I then saw a purple coloured fringe top,which I also liked. I held up those two options, not bothering to look at the rest. She scrutinised the two before picking the purple-fringed one. 

"Shorts?" She asked and earned a nod from me. She quickly tossed me a pair of denim shorts and directed me towards the bathroom. I saluted her before walking in there to change. I also used her lip-gloss which gave a pop to the outfit. Deciding that I wouldn't overthink it, I walked out the second I was done and slipped into the shoes that she set out for me. 

"Earrings? Necklaces?" She asked and I shook my head. 

"I never take this necklace off, so it's pointless." I say, lightly tugging at the necklace that holds a lot of sentimental value. 

"Why?" She quipped earning a small smile from me. Taking the hint, she pointed to the earrings and straightening wand with a cocked eyebrow.

"Sometimes less is more." I said in a deep philosophical tone. I then tipped my head forward and shook out my hair before whipping it back. [I looked in the mirror](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=179309337) and saw that my hair settled into its natural curly state and I smiled to myself. 

"Ready?" She asked as we exited the house?

"As I'll ever be." 

 


	9. Chapter 9

We reached Calum's house when the party was already in full swing. We looked at each other and entered the house. It was definitely a party as there was a huge dance floor that was already being taken advantage of. Other than Christina, I could see no other familiar face. Christina and I walked together seeing as we were both slightly uncomfortable.

"Drink?" I scream over the loud music. Frantically she nods, pulling me towards the array of alcohol. She shoves a red cup into my hand, quickly filling mine before grabbing a shot glass and filling it up with the tequila that was resting beside it. She downs her drink and refills it quickly. My mouth drops in shock, as this was not like the character that I've come to know over the past couple of days. 

"Slow down!" I warn.

"Liquid courage." She states before gulping the shot down and refilling it.

"You don't need that much courage. You're not Cowardly Lion!"

"You're right," She states before swallowing the bitter drink, her whole face scrunching up, "I'm worse."

"Woah, woah woah," I said as I snatched the glass and alcohol away from her. "Hi Luke!" I call him over, hopefully ending her alcohol spree. She glared at me, mentally flipping me off. 

"Hey ladies!" He greeted, sauntering over. "You look absolutely beautiful."

"Some more than others," I cough, making both Luke and Christina blush. 

"Congratulations on the win!" Christina says smiling at him as if there was nobody else in the room but him. Upon hearing this, he grins, running his fingers through his hair. 

"Clearly I'm not needed here!" I announce before shoving the shot glass and tequila into Luke's hand and grabbing my own drink and skipping off. 

I walk around the room, sipping on my beer and looking for something interesting to do. Talking to drunken teenagers that I don't know is such a chore, so I decide to walk over to the snacks table. I rummage through the half eaten packets of chips and other snacks, trying to find something that hasn't been crushed or opened - how am I supposed to know where other people's hands have been. 

"Is this your first party?" I hear from behind me, making me jump from the scare. 

"Is this your first human interaction?" I retort, "Give a girl some warning."

"Hi, I'm Dylan." Sweaty Brunette says as he holds out his hand.

"Finally! A name to the face," I tease before opening a packet of Pringles and shoving a chip into my mouth.

"Clearly this is your first meeting. See this is the part where you shake my hand and introduce yourself." 

"Clearly this is your first time attempting to flirt, see this is the part where you try to get my number." I quip back, smirking, "I can refer you to some tutors if you want. Maybe give you a book - 101 Ways to Flirt For Dummies."

"Seeing as the book had a great impact on you, maybe I should take it." He smirks back

"Oh honey, don't be fooled, the book isn't mine. It's your friends one over there, who clearly is failing to apply anything that he's learned from it." I say before pointing at his teammate from the match. We laughed together looking at the poor boy trying to flirt with a girl who couldn't look less interested. From the corner of my eye I could see Ashton with his arm on Bimbo Bitch's waist, staring at Dylan and I. 

"So, are you going to tell me your name now or do I have to go down on both my knees and beg?"

"I'd love to see you beg but I'll save that for another day," I flirted with a wink, knowing Ashton was looking. "Danielle, but my friends call me Dani." I stretch my hand forward, immediately being met with his warm and callused hand.

"So, do I call you Dani or Danielle?"

"Call me whatever you want,"

"How about I call you mine?" He says with a wink, pulling me closer to him.

"I see the book is working for you already." I tease, our hands still in each other’s.

"Dylan!" Ashton shouts making us drop our hands to face him. "What's up, man?!"

"Hey Ash!" Dylan says doing the guy-hug thing while Bimbo Bitch just hangs on Ashton, clutching his arm.

"Dani," Ashton says with a small smile, not sure how he should greet me. I deiced to be the bigger person and hug him, congratulating him on his win. Obviously, I ignore the Bimbo Bitch - she's unworthy of my attention. How fabulous am I?

" Did you enjoy the game?" Ashton asked. 

"Yeah! It was brilliant. Christina and I were having a lot of fun," I say gulping my beer down, deciding that it was my turn for some liquid courage. For some reason, seeing Ashton with Bimbo Bitch was making me feel weird, my stomach felt like it was in knots and my throat had a lump in it. All in all, I didn't like this feeling and I never wanted to feel it again - but at the same time, I have no idea how to stop it. 

"I didn't know you were a cheerleader." Dylan piped in.

"That's because I'm not." 

"But I am." Blonde Bimbo Bitch said while twirling her hair with her finger. 

"You sure seemed like a cheerleader from where I was standing." He said, ignoring Bimbo Bitch (That gave him brownie points in my book) "How about next time, you become my cheerleader." 

My cheeks, I'm sure were tinted pink, "Keep this up and maybe I'll consider it." Dylan and I stared at each other. He was smirking while I gave him a shy smile, forgetting that Ashton and Bimbo were still there. Ashton cleared his throat, reminding us that we weren't alone. Dylan and I snapped out of our little bubble - he was still smirking while I stuffed Pringles in my mouth and sipped on my beer. The four of us stood in awkward silence - Ashton and Bimbo Bitch on my right and Dylan on my left. 

"I need a refill." I stated, excusing myself from the tense and awkward situation. 

"I'll show you where it is." Ashton stated, his voice husky and full of authority. 

"I know where the beer is. I literally just came-"

"I said I’d show you." He asserted, making me squirm in fear. 

"Wait Dani!" Dylan said as we were walking away, making me turn my head to see Bimbo Bitch looking lost and Dylan reaching into his pocket to grab his phone. "Can I have your number, for research purposes.”

"Research purposes?" Bimbo Bitch asked.

"To see how my progress with the 101 Ways to Flirt With Dummies is coming along." I laughed as he said this, subtly ripping my arm from Ashton's grasp and I bound over to Dylan, entering my number into his phone. 

"For science." I stated, unable to keep myself from smiling

"For science." He says, taking his phone back, our fingers brushing against each other. I was expecting to feel a spark, maybe a little giddy - but I felt nothing. I blamed it on the alcohol numbing my senses. 

"Bye." I whispered, giving him a small wave; my smile widening as he reciprocated. I walked over to Ashton with an exaggerated dopey smile on my face. 

"What's going on between you and Dylan?" He asks immediately when we start walking to the drinks table that was on the other side of the house - which if you think about it, is kind of smart. That way there's not much crowd at either table. 

"Nothing," I answer cautiously. 

"Stay away from him. He's not good news." 

"Well, your Bimbo Bitch is with him right now. Why don't you go rescue her and let me make my own decisions." I spat, glaring at him. 

"Stop calling her that!" 

"Alright. What number is she then? 15? So does that make me 16?" I say, pretending to think, stopping in my tracks.

"What are you even talking about?" 

"Wow! You guys really are perfect for each other. Both just pretend to be stupid. Bravo on finding your soul mate!" I quip, slow clapping for him. 

"Just shut up, Dani!" 

"No Ashton. You shut up and listen to me! I thought we were becoming friends, especially when we were on that rock, but clearly I was wrong. I was just another number to you and that's all any girl will be for you - another number. I can't handle all this back and forth with you anymore. It's giving me crazy amounts of whiplash! When you decide what you want, come and talk to me. Otherwise, just don't bother." I say throwing my hands up, surrendering before walking away , leaving him flabbergasted. 

The lump in my throat swelled, the knots in my stomach tightened as tears pricked my eyes begging to leave the brim, but Danielle Walker doesn't cry, not for anyone, not for anything. I blinked the tears away as I walked out of the house and onto the beach, taking deep breaths as I do so. I walked along the shoreline, with my phone in my pocket but no headphones. The waves crashed against the shoreline, always coming back despite the shore's constant attempt to push it away. I want someone like the waves - someone who will never leave me side despite my pushing, despite my razor sharp tongue that can hurt like a bayonet, despite my constant screams to 'Leave me alone'. I know that everyone has a limit on what they can and cannot take and how much they can endure. But for once, I want someone to know me so well just from the small hints I drop. I want someone to want to know me for me, not for some persona that I put up. I want someone to thirst for me and me for them. I want a real friendship, not something that will only last a couple of days and end with a huge fight that makes any sense. 

For once, I just want someone to want me. All of me, as I am - Flaws and all.

I kicked off my shoes and plopped myself on the sand, bringing my knees up to chest and resting my chin on it while the water lapped at my feet. I let out a shaky sigh as I tried to calm my nerves, trying to divert my attention to the way the cold water pricked my hot skin. The sky was dark, the moonlight illuminating the sea, reflecting the light off the water and onto the shoreline, which allowed me to see my feet and some of the sea. 

"Dani," A voice panted. Having already been acquainted with this beautiful voice, I sighed silently praying that this conversation will go well. 

"I really hope you have made a decision rather than coming here to make excuses." I stated, looking at my feet and the water rather than his beautifully carved face with wide eyes that can melt just about anyone. I felt his presence beside me as he sat on the sand, rolling up his jeans before mimicking my actions by putting his feet at the shoreline, allowing for the water to lap it up. 

"What do you think of me?" 

"That's not an answer Ash-"

"Humour me." 

Deciding I would play along, I sighed and voiced my thoughts, "I think you're annoying, and a dick, and a douche. But I also think that you're daring, delightful, that you're amazing and accepting and dauntless. I think you seek adventure and frankly, you're adorable; when you're not being a jerk!" 

"You do realise you described me with adjective that only begin with A and D right?"

"Didn't know you had suddenly become a literature student." 

"I had to." He said, making me look at him in confusion, "For you." 

"This should be interesting." I muttered to myself, "Do tell, Mr. Irwin."

"The first time we met, you didn't tell me your name and I didn't tell you mine. But you told me more about yourself with that tiny, mistaken encounter than you have with any other meeting and that includes the rock. You told me your favourite song and why it was your favourite song. That night, I went home and I listened to the song, quite a number of times actually. I'm going to guess that your favourite lyrics are either 'You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece and now you're tearing through the pages and the ink' or 'You were red and you liked me cause I was blue, you touched me and I was a lilac sky and you decided that purple just wasn't for you.' Am I right?" 

"It's both, actually." I managed to stutter, allowing him to continue. 

"I thought so." He said cockily, smirking before continuing, "You fascinated me the moment I spilt that milkshake on you. Call it fate, destiny, a hungry boy - but I met you again in the cafe; but what you don't know is that I wasn't even supposed to be on that road, but my car broke down and I sent it to the mechanic which was right opposite that road. I felt hungry so I was walking to get some food but I saw you from the front window and I was enthralled. There was half a breakfast in front of you, but you completely ignored it as you were so engrossed in a play written by Shakespeare. You were so into it that you would smile when you came across a line you liked and you would mouth the words while you were reading. It really is a sight to behold. I then googled the translated version and memorised some lines to impress you - which obviously didn't work. But God, it really just made me want to decode you, to figure you out. To understand you." 

"You basically googled how to flirt." I said, giggling while he just stared at me and smiled. 

"Then I met you on the rock, the one place that has been only mine for years and years. I chalk it up to fate, honestly. So many memories were made just on that rock. We cuddled, talked about the universe, we even kissed." He said softly, giving me a soft smile as I drew patterns on the sand, avoiding eye contact with him. "You've got to give me a chance, Dani." 

"Look Ashton, what you said-" 

"Stop!" He said as I was mid-sentence, "What I said was only so you would know that I made a promise to be your friend and I intend to fulfil my promise." 

"I'm giving you a chance to get out of it, Ashton. Think about it." 

"I don't need to. I made you a promise, I'm going to carry it out." He said firmly. 

"Guess you're stuck with me for life, Irwin." I said, dusting off my palms before turning to face him, pure joy lit his face up like a sunrise. It was beautiful, no matter how many times you saw it you wouldn't get sick of it. It's just that beautiful. 

"I wouldn't have it any other way." 

We settled into a comfortable silence, both of us mulling over the latest events. My mind kept racing back to the kiss and how he was the first one to bring it up. But for some reason, I couldn't help but feel a stab in the gut thinking about the fact that he kissed Bimbo Bitch just a couple of hours after he kissed me. 

"Ashton, I think we need to talk." I said, pivoting my body to stare at him, head on. 

"I had a feeling this would come up sooner or later." He sighed, turning his torso to mimic my position. 

"We kissed." I said bluntly. 

"Yes I know. I was there." 

"But then you kissed Bimbo Bitch literally 5 minutes after you kissed me." 

"It was more like hours..." He trailed off. 

"Ashton! Not funny!" I reprimanded, "Focus." 

"What's your point, Dani?" He sighed. 

"My point?" I scoffed. The kiss seemed to be nothing but a game for him. It wasn't like that for me! I thought we had something. Guess, that just goes to show you how naive I was being to think that he would actually want somebody as broken as I am, even worse, someone who won't let anybody in. For God's sake! I can't even get along with my own family, how was I supposed to get along with anyone else. 

"My point is that it can never happen again." I mutter, pushing myself off the floor and dusting the sand off of my clothes and skin. 

"Is that what you really want?" Ashton said, not moving from where he was. 

"You're with Bimbo Bitch." I mumble, still attempting to remove sand from the back of my thighs.

"That doesn't answer the question, Dani!" 

"We're friends Ashton." I deadpanned, my voice getting louder, "Plus, you have a girlfriend! And as much as I don't like her, I'm not that kind of person!" 

"That's still not a yes or no." He said, sighing when he realised that I wasn’t going to budge. "Fine, let me rephrase the question. Did you like the kiss?" 

"You kissed another girl, hours within kissing me. No explanation, nothing and you want to ask me if I want to kiss you again. Really Ashton? You really are a great 'friend' not to mention an amazing 'boyfriend'." 

"You don't seem to understand the fact that I am not dating Brittany. What's going on between us is complicated. And if you're asking me - I really can't stop thinking about our kiss." 

"I don't care if what you have with Bimbo Bitch is as complicated as Rocket Science! That still isn't a valid enough excuse." I screamed, throwing my hands up in frustration before tangling them in my hair and sighing. 

"Dani-"

"No, Ashton! You can't have it all. Either you tell me what's going on between you and Bimbo Bitch and then and only then will we talk about the kiss, or, you don't tell me anything and we just continue being friends - no mention of the kiss at all." 

"I can't-" He stuttered and fumbled before sighing in defeat. 

"Don't decide now then. Just take some time to think about it...." I say trailing off, "I'll see you around, Ashton. Congratulations on the win again." 

Walking away from Ashton, by far was the worst feeling I've had in a while. The tears had learnt to stop asking me permission and instead all gathered at the brim of my eyes, making me blink more times than usual to stop them from leaving their cage. My stomach was tied in knots that boy scouts take months to learn and perfect. A white, hot pain radiated from my chest, to my stomach before spreading like wildfire to the rest of my body. My breaths were coming off in shaky huffs and pants that people would assume I've done a marathon. 

I reached Calum's house after what seemed like an eternity of walking and drowning in my own thoughts. I raced to the drink's table gulping down tequila shots and refilling them. I think I had 4 shots before fully feeling the effects of the alcohol. Having alcohol without having proper food really does have a stronger effect than most. The room started spinning, but I ignored it and sauntered over to the dance floor, whipping my hair and grinding on the nearest person that I could find. My gut was screaming how bad this idea was, but I ignored it, concentrating only on the music and nothing else. Everything else was just a blur.

I felt a pair of hands on my waist, making me smirk. The hands pulled my waist closer to their crotch. Then everything went black.

 


	10. Chapter 10

A burning pain radiated from my throat as I groaned. The groan only added fuel to the flame and made my head pound. I dare not open my eyes for fear of making it worse. What happened last night? I don't remember anything after walking away from Ashton and back to the house.

I stretched out my right hand to reach for my phone that usually lay on my bedside table but I felt nothing. My eyes shot open, worsening my headache, but I tried to ignore it as best as I could. The room looked unfamiliar. This isn't my house. Where am I? 

I heard a soft snore coming from beside me. My breath hitched as I looked down at myself. I begged and pleaded to a God that I didn't believe in to not make my suspicions come true. A grey blanket was pulled up to my neck as I mentally prepared myself to look beneath it. I quickly pulled the blanket up, like pulling a band-aid off. These aren't my clothes! I was wearing a white buttoned down shirt that was buttoned wrongly. Tears pricked my eyes at the possibility that I could have had sex with someone that I didn't even know! Worse of all it was drunken sex! 

I turned my head slowly in hopes that if I do so, my headache wouldn't worsen. All I saw was a muscled and toned back that belonged to someone with brown hair. I sat up slowly, my head in my hands as I sniffled. I blinked away the tears and tried to look for my phone. I pulled the blanket off which seemed to wake the person beside me up. He stirred and turned around, eyes still closed. 

"Ashton?" I whispered and then hissed as my throat gave off a searing pain. 

"Hmm." He said nuzzling the pillow as his breathing slowed, indicating that he was going to sleep again. I grabbed my pillow and hit him over the head with it, ignoring the drilling that was going through my head. "What the fu-"

"What happened last night?!" I screamed, my voice becoming huskier, throat radiating a white, hot pain seeing as it was dry and I was dehydrated. My headache became 10 times worse but I tried to hold my own. 

"How are you not hungover right now?" Ashton asked, his voice husky and low. I tried my hardest not to swoon seeing how his morning voice had the potential to literally melt butter. Before I could say anything, he ripped the blanket off himself and got out of the bed. He was shirtless which allowed me to stare at his toned muscles and abs. He rubbed his eye with his finger, which was adorable and walked out of the room, causing my jaw to drop in shock. Defeated, I threw myself face first on the bed, which turned out to be a terrible idea as the impact made my hangover a billion times worse. Jesus Christ, how much did I bloody drink?! 

"Here," I heard before feeling a warm hand on my back coaxing me to sit up. When I did, I saw Ashton with a bottle of water and two Advil's. Flashing him a small, grateful smile, I took the items out of his hand and popped the pills into my mouth before allowing the cool water to soothe my throat. I turned to Ashton, after capping the bottle, only to see him staring at me with fondness in his eyes. I cocked my eyebrow and opened my mouth to barrage him with my questions about the previous night. 

"Nothing happened." He stated emotionless. 

"Where are my clothes? Why can't I remember anything? Why-"

"For someone who is supposed to be hungover, you sure are talkative." He interrupted, face filling with annoyance. 

"I don't like not being in control." 

"I can tell, especially from yesterday." He said with a smirk, knowing that it would annoy me.

"Tell me what happened." I demanded. 

"Do you really want to know?" He teased, his smirk growing, as he knew that he was in control now. 

"Yes, Ashton!" I said in annoyance. 

"How badly do you want to know?" 

"Jesus Christ, Ashton! I want to know! Just bloody tell me already!" I screamed, sitting up fully to face him. His smirk only grew larger and larger as he leaned forward, his chin resting on his folded hands. 

"I will only tell you if you agree to talk about our kiss after." 

"No way!" I said immediately. 

"Guess you don't want to know where you are or how you got here, or where your clothes are." He said, leaning back on the chair, moving his hands behind his head as he kicked his feet up to rest on the bed. "Oh and I guess you also don't want to know how you got that Sharpie tattoo on your right hip." 

"What?" I said in confusion, lifting up the white button down, revealing a Sharpie tattoo of a heart with some illegible writing in it. 

"Reconsider the proposal, princess." He said with a satisfied smirk. My heart fluttered at the nickname he called me, but I ignored it and mentally screamed in frustration. 

"Fine! Whatever! Just bloody tell me." I yelled in frustration, sulking. 

"Pinky promise we'll talk about the kiss after I tell you." He said, stretching his hand out so I could wrap my pinky around his. I roll my eyes but do it anyway. 

"You're being unfair." I mumble, going back into my sulking position.

"I’m giving you an ultimatum, like you did to me yesterday."

"That wasn't an ultimatum!" I defend

"What was it then?" He asks, folding his hands over his chest while leaning back on the chair.

"Just get on with what happened. I can't be bothered to entertain your shit." I spat. His expression faltered at my harsh words, before going stoic and giving me a firm nod and leaning his head back on the chair. He pursed his lips, probably thinking about last night's events.

~~~

_"Congratulations on the win again." Danielle said before walking away from me, not turning, not even hesitating._

_How was I supposed to tell her what was going on between Bimb- I mean Brittany and I, when I don't even fully understand what was going on. I looked to my right and saw Danielle walking away, her hair being fanned out due to the wind. She's beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, did I mention beautiful._

_I let out a sigh, stretching my legs out on the sand and leaning back with all my weight resting on my palms. I looked at the horizon, contemplating telling Danielle about Brittany just so I could talk about our kiss. My lips tingled just at the thought of her lips on mine. I felt electricity race through my veins at the mere flashback of it; imagine how I would feel with my lips on hers._

_I can't stop thinking about it, about her. I yearned to feel our lips meshed together, to feel her fingers running through my hair, pulling at it while my hands explore her body. I can't stop thinking about her head resting on chest as we talk about life, about random facts that she read online, about the books she was reading, about how her day went and what she did, who she saw. I can't stop thinking about her hand in mine, our fingers intertwined. I can't stop thinking about what I would say to her the next time I meet her or what we would do, where we would go. I can't stop thinking about her laugh, her frown, her smile, and her eyes._

_I can't stop thinking about her._

_I got off the sand with a sigh as I dusted off the sand from my clothes. I tried to clear my mind but failed miserably, as the only thing swirling in my mind was the ultimatum she gave me. Trying not to mull over it too much, seeing as this was meant to be half of my victory party, I walk back into the house and make a beeline straight for the alcohol table. I was surprised to see that there were no shot glasses and the tequila was missing. That's weird, there's always at least some hard drink on the table. I turn around to try to find someone holding the bottle or at least to find someone to refill the drinks but instead was met with a rather unpleasant sight - Danielle being held and grinded on by two different guys, one in front and the other in the back. And the worst part was that she didn't mind it at all. I was about to brush it off when I saw her take a swig out of the tequila. She was drunk and these pieces of shit were taking advantage of her!_

_My legs moved before I was aware of it and I realised that I went over to her and grabbed her forearm, pulling her out of the grips of the two assholes; only to be met with glares as sharp as a knife._

_"I suggest you leave before I throw you out myself." I snare at them and walk away with a stumbling Danielle in tow. I drag her to the kitchen, ignoring her whines about me being no fun and sit her down on a chair before grabbing a slice of bread and making her eat it to absorb the alcohol. I had to ignore her cute pout and insistent whines that she was fine. While she was eating her bread, I set the tequila down on the counter behind me and walk over to the fridge to grab some cold water in hopes of sobering her up. I turn around only to find that Danielle and the tequila bottle were missing. I let out a string of muttered curse words and rush out of the kitchen in hopes that she wouldn't have gone far and I could sober her up._

_I run from the kitchen to the dance floor and to the living room but couldn't spot her. From the corner of my eye I see Luke and Christina cozied up on the couch, practically sitting on each other's lap giggling like two teens in love. Sickening, really. Cute, but sickening._

_"Have you- Dani?" I pant, slightly out of breath._

_"What?" Christina asks, too busy playing with Luke's fingers and grinning to even notice that I was there._

_"Dani. Have you seen her?" I ask, slightly annoyed. But really who could blame them? If I was in their position, me and Dani- Wait. What?_

_"Sorry buddy. But if we see her, we'll tell you." Luke says, slinging his arm over Christina's shoulder and pulling her closer, with a confident smirk on his face. She giggled before nuzzling her head into his shoulder. He chuckled, before pecking her cheek._

_"Gross." I teased_

_"Uhh, Ashton." Luke said_

_"Yeah, buddy?"_

_"I found Dani." He said pointing at the huge crowd of people that had gathered beside the counter top of the marble bar. They were cheering as two people hauled Danielle, who was stumbling to catch her balance. She stood and cheered as she stuck the tequila bottle in the air before taking a long swig of it as everyone cheered her on._

_"Put on some music! Let's get this party started!" She screamed, taking another swig of the bitter alcohol before pulling another girl on the bar and grinding and dancing with her. A small part of me wanted so badly to keep watching but it was being overpowered by the other part of me that wanted to protect her. I shook my head in dismay and stalked forward, pushing past all the people. Once I reached the bar, I yanked Danielle's arm toward me. I yanked it hard enough to get her attention but not hard enough to hurt her._

_"Hey!" She whined, trying to pull herself out of my grip, but failing. "Let me go."_

_"That's enough for you." I muttered to myself, grabbing her waist and putting her over my shoulder and walking away, ignoring the whines and shouts coming from the group. I rolled my eyes, going to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle with Danielle still on my shoulder and walking upstairs to a random room. I put Danielle on the bed before locking the door. I walked over to her to give her the water bottle but saw her sulking on the bed. "What's wrong?" I sighed, running my fingers through my hair._

_"You are ruining-" She said, hiccupping and covering her mouth with her hand. She apparently found the hiccup funny as she started giggling uncontrollably. I smiled relishing the beautiful sound of her giggle. If only I could record it._

_"Drink." I demanded, handing over the open water bottle to her._

_She grabbed it and saluted me, "Sir, yes sir." She sipped on it and stopped. I glared at her and pointed at the bottle. She took the hint, stifling a giggle but drinking the water anyway. "You know Ashton," She started, with the bottle in her hand, "You are really hot."_

_"And you're drunk."_

_"You're especially hot when you're taking charge."_

_"And you're still drunk." I sighed, trying to stop a smile from growing on my face._

_"But." She said. Ahh, there's always a but. "You're mean when you're with that stupid Bimbo. I don't want you to be with her." She said with a pout. Her lips look so soft, and they look even better when she's pouting. I bit my lip, a nervous habit of mine. "I want to bite that lip." She said out loud, quickly covering her mouth with her hand and giggling again._

_"Drink the water, Danielle."_

_"I hate my name. But I love it when you say it." She said, moving closer to me, her face right next to mine._

_She's drunk, Ashton. You can't do this. No Ashton. You're better than this._

_"Water."_

_"You're no fun!" She whined, flailing her arms like a child, spilling the water all over her._

_Naked grandma. Saggy tits. Saggy vagina. Don't get a boner._

_"Oopsies." She says in a childlike voice, before letting the bottle drop to the floor and reaching her hands to the hem of her crop top. I quickly cover her hands with mine, stopping her from taking it off. "Finally! You're making a move. I've been waiti-"_

_"I'll get you a shirt and you can change in the bathroom." I say, looking around the room but finding nothing but bed sheets. I sigh, looking down at my white shirt and taking it off. "Here," I say, handing the shirt over to her. She looks up from her hands and her jaw goes slack at the sight of me shirtless. I smirk, mentally high-fiving myself. All those hours at the gym definitely paid off. "Dani!" I say to get her attention. She snaps back into reality._

_"I get why you're with Bimbo." She says simply, before walking out of the door with me trailing behind her slightly confused. After she changes, she walks back into the room and I lock it behind us again. I turn around and see Danielle standing in the middle of the room._

_"Come on," I say, taking her hand and bringing her over to the bed, "You need to sleep. I'm going to get some Advil for you." I tuck her in and turn to go out of the room when I feel her hand wrap around my wrist._

_"Stay." She pleads in a heavy voice._

_"But the Advil-"_

_"We can deal with that tomorrow." Her grip getting tighter; her voice getting heavier. I contemplate it, but I take one look in her eyes and I'm a goner. I take off my jeans so I am just in my boxers and lay next to her but on top of the sheets. I am a gentleman after all. "Why are you on top of the covers?" She asks, trying to scoot closer to me._

_"Dani..."_

_"I trust you." She says with a slight slur. I know she might be drunk, but that statement alone made my heart grow 10 times in size. With a smile, I get under the covers and immediately she lays her head on top of my chest. "I trust you not to leave me like everyone else." She whispers softly, placing what she must think is a subtle kiss on my chest, but really isn't._

_"I wont." I say louder, kissing her forehead. "I promise I won't."_

_"Don't promise something you can't uphold." She said, the slur now completely gone from her voice._

_"I'll prove it." I say, reaching my hand to the bedside drawer next to me and taking out a sharpie. If I know anything about Calum's house is that he is obsessed with Sharpie's and has them in every room. "Can I draw on you?" I ask and she nods fiercely. I hike up the white shirt a little, her shorts still in place and I draw an infinity. On one circle I write a D, for Danielle and on the other, I write A, for Ashton. I smile and hand her the Sharpie. "I am your canvas." I say playfully and lay down like a starfish. She giggles and traces her finger over my torso, contemplating where and what to draw. She bites her lip in concentration settling on my right hip, just above my boxers. She draws a large D, about the size of a penny and on the curve of the D she draws an A._

_We smile at each other and settle back into our previous position, with her head on my chest and my arm protectively around her. I throw the Sharpie somewhere in the room and close my eyes, relishing the feel of her on me._

~~~

"So let me get this straight," I say after listening to Ashton's retelling of what I did at the party "I apparently got so drunk that I stole a tequila bottle, was a part of a 'Grind Sandwich', danced on the bar top, brought another girl on the bar top with me and grinded with her, and got my clothes so wet that I had to wear your shirt." 

"Basically, yeah." Ashton says with a nod. 

"But that doesn't explain why I don't have any shorts on." I say, staring at my 'outfit'."

"You probably took it off? I don't know." He says, running his fingers through his hair and leaning back on the chair. 

"How did I get this Sharpie tattoo then?" I asked him. He bit his lip and hesitated before giving me an answer. 

"You said you wanted to be a tumblr girl."

"What's that?" I ask, seeing a black mark on his right hip.

"Nothing." He says quickly, pulling his boxers up. "Anything else you want to know? So we can finally get to the other part of the deal." He says with a smirk. I bit my lip trying to find a topic to prolong the discussion about the kiss as much as possible. I wanted to talk about it, hell, I wanted to jump him right now and kiss him, but I can’t. Even though I hated that bimbo, I couldn’t let him have her while stringing me along. He had to choose. The least he could do was at least tell me what was going on between the two of them. That way I can understand it.

"Did I say anything embarrassing?" 

His smirk grew wider, as he spoke, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me!" I challenged, crossing my legs over each other on the edge of the bed. 

"You said I was hot, for starters," He said, holding up a finger with each item he listed off. "You kept admiring my abs, you commended me when you thought I was making a move." He said, looking at my reaction, but I covered my beet red face with my hair, mentally slapping drunk me for not being able to keep her mouth shut. I cleared my throat and tried to calm myself down. 

"That's it?" I try to say confidently but fail as my voice breaks in the middle of my sentence.

"Oh babe, I'm just getting started." He teased. My heart fluttered with him calling me babe, my face heating up even more as I tried not to squeal. If only he would call me that all the time. Eww, what is happening to me? I’m becoming such a girly girl. It’s disgusting. Just as he was about to get started again, my phone blared, making both of us jump apart. I ran off the bed in search for my shorts to take my phone out. 

"Hello." I said, slightly out of breath while Ashton laughed at me. 

"Dani?" 

"That's me!" I exclaimed, making Ashton laugh even harder. I flipped him off and continued, "Who is this?"

"Dylan."

"Hi, Dylan." I chirped, playing with the top button of the shirt. Ashton went silent, his expression turning stoic. 

"Hey." He said, his voice going deeper, "I was wondering if you had any plans for the day." 

"As far as I know, I don't think I have any plans. Why what's up?" 

"You like food right?" He asked, nervously. 

"Very much so, yes." I said, giggling. 

"I'm presuming you like me right?" 

"Well, I've only met you once..." I teased, trailing off, as I walked in a circle. 

"Care to change that?" 

"Well, well, well. Look who's been doing their reading." I teased with a giggle, referring to the 101 Ways to Flirt For Dummies book that we were talking about yesterday.

"Is that a yes?" 

"Yes." I declared, with a smile. 

"Pick you up at 8!" He exclaimed. I could hear the smile in his voice as I laughed and hung up the phone, texting him my address. 

"So, you and Dylan.." Ashton said, making me jump as I forgot he was there. 

"Oh, uhm," I said, running my fingers through my hair nervously, "I don't know?" 

"Have fun." He said expressionless as he put on his jeans. I could see a 'D and A' sharpie tattoo on his right hip, but he walked out before I could say anything. I heard the door slam and I jumped slightly. 

I looked down at myself and hiked up Ashton's white shirt, seeing a small stain on the other side of it. I looked at the Infinity Sharpie tattoo and tried to decipher what it said. I could make out a D on the left but had no clue what the right side said. It was just a small smudge, but it looked like a letter. Feeling frustrated, I yanked off the shirt and put my clothes back on, carrying the bunched up white shirt in my left hand as I called an Uber with my right hand. 

I couldn't help but think in the car that Ashton wasn't telling me something... And I can't help but feel like what he's not telling me could be the difference between me going back in an Uber car or me going home with him clutching my hand while he's driving.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

For some reason, when I came home, I felt empty inside ; like something was missing, but for the life of me, I couldn't think what. I showered and changed into a white shirt and some black sleeping shorts. I was laying in bed watching Friends when the front door suddenly opened. 

"Hey buddy!" I said, coming out of my room and walking over to hug Nathan. 

"Where were you last night? Oh and don't worry, I covered for you." He said and walked over to the fridge. I laughed at his statement and helped him stock up the fridge with some groceries. 

"I went to a party and slept at a friend's house." I told Nathan, covering up a lot of the details an eleven year old does not need to know, "You don't have to cover for me, I can handle dad. Speaking of, where is he?" 

"He said he had an emergency at work so he dropped me home. He did say he would be back for dinner." 

"He has to be back for dinner. I'm going out and I can't leave you alone." I said, taking out my phone and typing up a message to let my dad know he had to be home before 7.30. Seeing as it was 2.30 in the afternoon, he only had 5 or so hours to finish up his 'emergency' at work. Honestly, he can fool Nathan but not me.

"Dani." Nathan called, making me turn around, "Can Harry come over tonight?" 

"If it's okay with his mom then I don't see why not. If he's coming over, I'll order pizza for dinner." I said, making Nathan run to call Harry. I laughed and dialed Christina's number on my phone. 

"Heyyo!" She screamed into the phone proceeding to burst out into a fit of giggles. 

"What the hell was that?" I asked, laughing. 

“It’s called answering the phone, loser!” She teased.

“Okay, weirdo. Anyways, I need your help.”

“How may I be of service?”

“I have a date tonight and I-“

“What?!” She screamed through the phone making me drop my phone in surprise. I laughed and picked it up. The amount of times I’ve dropped my phone is crazy, I’m so surprised it hasn’t broken yet.

“Okay, ow!” I said, “And why are you so surprised? I can totally get a date" 

"Of course you can! There's no doubt about it. I'm just surprised that he finally got the balls to ask you out." 

"He talked to you about this?" I asked, my surprise matching hers. Dylan and I had just met, when did they have a conversation about asking me out? 

"Ever since he saw you, he wouldn't shut up about it. It was driving all of us crazy." 

"I didn't even know that you knew him..." I muttered 

"Wait." Christina said, pausing, "Who are you going on a date with?" 

"Dylan." I stated like it was obvious. "Who did you think I was going with?" I asked, earning no answer from her. "Tee?" I said, pulling the phone away from my ear to check that she hadn't hung up yet.

"I'm coming over. Do you need anything?" 

"Make up and maybe some shoes to go with the dress I want to wear?" 

"Send me a picture. I'll be there in a few. Bye!" She said and hung up the phone. 

I sent her a picture and walked out to the living room, plopping down on the couch next to Nathan who was watching SpongeBob Squarepants.

"Is Harry coming over?" I asked,breaking the silence between us.

"Yeah. He said that he would be here by 7-ish. Can he sleepover too?" He asked and I nodded

"But only-"

"If it's okay with his mom." He mocked me, making me feign a gasp and grab his neck, ruffling his hair.

"Say sorry for mocking me!" I teased, tickling his sides

"Never!" He screamed, squirming and laughing to get away from my grasp. Just as I was going to tickle him harder, the doorbell rang which made both of us jump up. 

"You got lucky, Nate!" I said while laughing. I opened the door to find [Christina standing there](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_95/set?id=55759358) with a huge bag in one hand and 3 pairs of shoes in the other. I stared at her with a smile and a cocked eyebrow.

"I couldn't decide which one worked best for you.." She attempted to explain herself.

"So you decided to bring the whole closet?" I teased, letting her into the house. She half ran and half wobbled to my room and dropped all the stuff on my bed.

“There’s more in the car if you don’t like these.” She said, running her fingers through her hair before huffing. I trailed behind her, laughing at how cute she was. I am so glad that she stumbled into Michael's cafe that day.

"You came quick." I said, looking over the shoe choices.

"I had to." She said, unpacking her bag onto the bed, allowing me to look over alternative dress choices and jewelry.

"Why?"

"I have to get you and myself ready. We both have dates tonight." She explained, a blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Are you guys official?" I ask, holding up a white lace dress to the mirror, inspecting if I looked good in it or not.

"I'm hoping he'll ask me today." She said in a whisper, face turning redder. "Try your original dress."

"He will. Luke is completely smitten by you. It’s adorable to watch, really." I said, walking over to my dresser and taking out the green Aztec skater dress that I chose for tonight and comparing it to the white dress.

"The green is better." She decided, grabbing a brown leather belt and wrapping it around the dress.

"Oh, I love that!" I commented, leaning over to grab green wedges and showing it to Christina for approval. She nodded fiercely, smiling. "Can I ask you something, Tee?"

"Shoot."

"Who were you talking about on the phone?"

"Dani..." She said softly, as if her answer was forbidden.  

"Tee..." I mocked, with a smile. "It's fine. I'll have to find out sooner or later right?” I said, smiling so that she wouldn’t feel bad about not being able to tell me. I looked in the mirror and played with my hair as a distraction, “What should I do with my hair?" 

She shot me a grateful smile for changing the topic and we helped each other get ready. Christina wore a black, fitting sleeveless dress that accented her curves. Her hair was in a waterfall braid that cascaded down her back in curls. She went bold with her makeup - black cat eyeliner that was complemented with a smoky eye shadow and crimson lips. 

I wore an [Aztec print skater dress and green wedges](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=180216202), which added a couple of inches to my already tall frame. I left my hair in its natural curly state much to Christina's dismay. She did my makeup, making it soft to look natural. My lips had a touch of pink lip-gloss while my eyes were soft with enough eyeliner to make my eyes pop, but not bold enough to be obvious. 

"I don't want blush!" I said, in a child-like voice. 

"Come on, Dani! It'll look good!" She said. Just as she said that, the doorbell rang. 

"I'll get it!" I screamed and jumped at the opportunity to get out of the room before she tied me down to finish my makeup. As Christina was standing so close to me, she jumped at my sudden change of voice, stumbling on her heels and falling on the floor with a thud. I laughed as I walked over to the front door and opened it.

"Hey, Harry!" I said with a smile, moving so he could enter the house. He smiled and greeted me as he walked into the house. I was closing the door as I said, "Nathan's in the liv-"

"Harry! You forgot the flowers!" I heard a scream from the driveway. I opened the door, stepping out to see who it was. "You know what mom-" Ashton said, stopping in his tracks when he saw me through the door. He stood there, with his jaw slacked. "I-You-I mean-Wow." He stuttered and stumbled over his words, which made me blush slightly as Ashton walked up to the door. 

For a fleeting moment I forgot that I had a date with Dylan. I imagined that it was Ashton coming to pick me up to go for dinner. He was wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans, which was appropriate dinner wear. What made it even more believable was that he brought my favourite flowers, in my favourite colour. He didn't bring me Roses, he brought me purple Orchids.

"Hi," I whispered, looking into his hazel brown eyes with specks of green in them. If I could, I swear I would look at them all day. I would look at the way they filled with emotion, colour changing with each emotion he was feeling. The way he looked at me with those beautifully coloured eyes melted me every single time. 

"Hello gorgeous." He replied in a heartbeat, his eyes filling with happiness as he smiled my favourite type of smile - the dimpled smile. I would've melted in a second, but I think my blush said more than I ever could. He looked smug at the fact that every blush that I've had since I've come here has been because of him. 

"Dani, I haven't finished your-Oh." Christina said walking over to me and seeing Ashton in front of me, with a blush on my face. "Guess you didn't need blusher after all." She teased, looking at our reactions. "My work here is done and I am off to my date. Have fun you two!" She said pushing past Ashton and me. 

"Do you want to come in?" I asked in a small voice, moving to let Ashton into the house, my face becoming hotter, for some weird reason. I blamed it on the humidity. I cannot give Ashton the satisfaction of making me blush. I closed the door slower than usual, hoping that by the time I close it, the blush would be gone and my face will return to its normal light brown colour. 

I turned around to face Ashton with the blush still evident on my face and all I saw was his beautiful dimpled smile and now golden brown eyes and the way he was looking at me. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world and I just couldn't help but smile at that. I have never been looked at like this, ever. I was always looked at with eyes filled with lust or eyes filled with disgust. There was no in between. 

"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" He asked taking one step towards me, which made me back up, my back hitting the front door. "You look absolutely stunning. That dress by itself would be nothing compared with you in it. You make anything you wear stand out. You could be wearing a potato sack or even a garbage bag and you would still be the most beautiful person in the world. You would still be the belle of the ball. You would still be as gorgeous like you always are."

For the first time in my life, I was rendered speechless. I had no witty comeback, no sarcastic comment. Hell I didn't even have a normal sentence to say. All I wanted was to feel his lips over mine, his hands on my hips pulling me closer to his lean frame, holding me like his life depended on it. I wanted to go out on a date with him; I wanted him to pick me up and take me to some restaurant, getting to know me. I wanted him to hold my hand at the end of the night and drop me home. Both of us nervous, both of us leaning in to have our first, real kiss. I wanted him, in all forms, in every way. 

"These are for you." He said, holding out the purple orchids. I smiled and took it, leaning up to kiss his cheek softly. As I did that, I could feel his smile forming, growing bigger and bigger as he let his right hand ghost over my hip. I walked to the kitchen and bent down to get a vase to put the flowers in. I let out a small squeal and did a little dance when I thought that I was out of sight and covered by the kitchen counter. I got the vase and stood up like nothing happened, a smile still gracing my face. 

"How did you know that Orchids were my favourite flower?" I asked Ashton while getting the Orchids to look just perfect, perched up on the kitchen counter near the window. I put a little salt in the water which was a trick I had learnt from my grandmother to make the flowers last longer. 

"I figured you would hate Roses and all they stand for, seeing as you're different. Also, I remembered on the rock how you were talking about what flowers actually resemble and mean. Purple is your favourite colour so I figured Orchids might be your favourite flower." 

"It's been a week since I've known you and you've already picked up so much." I said, jumping up on the counter and swinging my legs back and forth. "Why did you bring the flowers anyway? Not that I’m complaining, because look at them, they’re absolutely gorgeous." 

"And yet, they are nothing compared to you,” He complimented, not missing a heartbeat, but making mine flutter. “My mother always told Harry and I to never show up to a house empty-handed. I wanted to bring you chocolates, but I finished them." 

Just as I was about to ask him something else, my phone buzzed with a text and I leaned my body over the sink to reach my phone but stumbled and almost fell off the counter. Ashton shot out his hands and perched them on my waist, steadying me. I gasped, holding onto his biceps with my eyes shut, bracing myself for an impact that never came. I let out a breath of relief that I didn't know I was holding in and opened my eyes. The first thing I saw were Ashton's eyes locked on mine. His eyes changed colour, going from a golden brown to a darker brown. We stayed in this position, his fingers rubbing circles on my hip until my phone buzzed again. He reached out one hand, not averting his eyes from mine, and grabbed it before dropping it on my lap, one hand still on my waist. It felt natural. It felt right. 

"Shit!" I cursed, removing his hands from my waist so I could jump off the counter to pace and think, fingers running through my hair as I bit my lip. 

"What's wrong?" 

"My dad can't make it home and I don't have a babysitter for the boys. I have approximately 10 minutes to find someone to babysit." 

"I'll do it." He said with a shrug. 

"No Ash.I'm sure you have plans. I'll just find-"

"Harry is my brother and I'm sure you don't want some random person taking care of either of the boys. I know I wouldn't. I'm sure you'd rather have someone you trust or at least know. I'll take care of the boys." 

"Ash, I can't make you-"

"You're not making me do anything. I didn't have any plans tonight and even if I did, I would cancel them in a heartbeat." He interrupted me with a smile. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. 

"Thank you." I whispered, reaching my hand to wrap behind his neck in a hug. I felt his hand snake around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. Both of us indulged in being close to each other. 

"Dani..." He whispered as we pulled away. 

"Yes, Ashton?" 

"Remember the pinky promise you made yesterday? That we would talk about our kiss after I told you about what happened at the party." 

"Ashton..." I said desperately. I liked him, of course I liked him. He was my friend; he made an effort to try to understand what other’s didn’t, couldn’t. I had made more friends here than I have ever made in my life back home. Do I feel guilty about it? Hell yes! I know how I've been acting is unacceptable especially because he's dating Bimbo Bitch. Sure I didn't like her, but that did not mean I was a homewrecker. I know from experience what homewreckers can do and I do not intend to become one. I like Ashton but I can't lead him on if he's with somebody else. Did I like him more than a friend? No! That’s absurd…isn’t it?

He took one look at me, “I get it. I know what you’re thinking. You think that I’m with Brittany but Dani, you have to unders-“

Just as he was about to explain, the doorbell rang. His hands dropped from my waist, and mine from his neck. We pulled away, much to our dismay. Already my waist was screaming for his touch, his hot, burning, lingering touch. My waist was cold without his hands on them. My body was yearning for it. But I couldn’t just run up to him and beg and plead for him to take me into his arms and never let go. Now I know why I got accepted into acting school, look at how dramatic I’m being.

I walk to the door and open it only to reveal a huge bouquet of roses and a pair of legs.

“Surprise!” Dylan said, his head popping out from the side of the bouquet, making me smile slightly.

“It’s not a surprise if we planned it, doofus!” I joked, trying to pump myself back up for the date. I did agree to it after only knowing him for a couple of hours, which was incredibly stupid, but hey what is life if not filled with stupid choices. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually enjoy myself on this date.

“I brought you roses! That’s the surprise.” He said handing me the bouquet. Ashton brought my Orchids, which were my favourite. No Danielle! You cannot compare him to Ashton! Anyways, Ashton has known you longer than Dylan has, that’s an unfair advantage.

“Thank you. They’re lovely.” I say, moving to let him in. “I’m going to put these in a vase.” I announced, walking to my kitchen to find a vase.

“Ashton?” Dylan asked, trailing behind me.

“Hey man.” Ashton greeted with an awkward wave.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m a babysitter by night.” He said with a guffaw.

“Always thought you were something else by night.” Dylan laughed with a wink, leaving me to wonder if I had yet been a pawn in another one of Ashton’s games. I can’t let myself by another number, another girl to add to the list. “Can I use your bathroom?” He said. I smiled and gave him directions to the bathroom while I placed the roses in the corner of the kitchen counter, directly opposite the Orchids.

“Pistanthrophobia.” I said, turning to face Ashton.

“What’s that?”

“The fear of trusting people due to previous experiences.”

“Is that an explanation?”

“It’s a warning.” I said, my face expressionless, which contrasts my eyes that were flaming with a mix of expression – fear, sadness, and anger.

“The only way to get over a fear is to face it.” He beamed with a smile. “My mother always told me that this is best done with a friend.”

“Ready to go, Dani?” Dylan said, shaking his hands to rid himself of the water from washing his hands.

“Yeah. Just give me a couple of minutes.” I said, rummaging my purse for some money. “Here Ash, this is the money for the pizza. I ordered two large pizza’s, so hog all you want. My laptop is also in my room. There are like a million movie’s on it, feel free to browse and-“

“Dani!” He interrupted with a laugh, “You’re going on a date, not to war. Calm down. I can hold the fort down for a couple of hours.”

“But-“

“Dani, calm down and put your money away. I’ve got it.” He said, refusing to take the money for the pizza.

“Please Ash, it’s the least I can do…”

“Bye Dani!” He said, pushing my lightly to the door by my waist. Even a small gesture like this made my heart flutter and my waist sigh in relief to his touch. I tried to ignore it as best as I could by laughing it off. “Have fun.” He said, struggling to keep the smile on his face.

“Bye Ashton.” 


	12. Chapter 12

The date had barely even started, and already I was pointing out everything that Dylan was doing wrong; and by doing things wrong, I was basically comparing him to Ashton. Curse my stupid mind that was polluted by thoughts of only Ashton. How did this boy who spilt a milkshake on my favourite shirt suddenly rule my mind? How did I let this happen? Hell, how did I even let him say a couple of words to me and leave unscathed? If I was back home and Ashton had spilt a drink on me, especially on my favourite shirt and then take my phone hostage, I would've personally made sure that he would never have children again, or teeth.

The first thing that Dylan did wrong was not opening the door for me to enter the car. Ashton did it, even at 6 in the morning when we were at the rock, he opened the car door for me, entering and leaving. Secondly, Dylan didn't compliment me. Selfish and self centered, I know. But, it's common date etiquette. Look at Ashton, he wasn't even going on a date with me, and I rendered him speechless. Hell, I was in a raggy old shirt and sleeping shorts and even in glasses at the rock, and he still told me I looked beautiful. I mean, come on, Dylan could at least say something! 

"Did you like the roses?" He asked, looking at the road, knuckles white from holding the steering wheel so tightly. Aww, he was nervous! Okay, that kind of makes up for it. 

No Dylan, I hate roses! But fine, I'll throw you a bone. I mean you barely know me. Scratch that, you don't know me at all. 

"I loved them! Thank you, that was very sweet." 

“I noticed that there was a bouquet of Orchids on the countertop too. Do you like Orchids?”

He’s attempting to get to know me, which is a good sign. Plus point for Dylan. Maybe this won’t go so badly after all.

“I love Orchids. They’re my favourite flowers, plus purple is my favourite colour. I always believe that gifts and flowers all have meaning and I think that Orchid has the most beautiful meaning of all.” I gushed.

“Yeah? What do purple orchids mean?”

“Well, purple Orchids are usually associated with dignity, wisdom, mystery, magic, independence and creativity.”

“And roses?” He asked, parking the car.

“Love and passion.”

“Well, those are very different meanings then.” He said with a laugh, getting out of the car, which prompted me to get out as well. That’s another mistake for Dylan, not opening the door for me, again. I took a moment to look at where we were. There was a valet in front of the restaurant, of which Dylan took full advantage of. I looked around and immediately felt underdressed. A fancy restaurant? This wasn't me at all. I took a deep breath and tried my best to calm down. Dylan placed his hand on the small of my back and led me into the restaurant. As soon as we walked in, I felt a gust of cold, sophisticated air wash over me. The people here looked prim and proper and I stood out. I was wearing a bright green Aztec print dress for god's sake! I don't fit in here. 

We were led to our table, which was near a small fountain and where we could see everybody else. The waiter pulled out my seat, to which I flashed a grateful smile. He had more manners than Dylan does. He handed us our menus and I looked at Dylan for a recommendation. 

"The pork chop's are absolutely mouth-watering here. I practically order them every single time that I come here." He said, placing his menu down and looking at me for approval. 

"You know best." I reply, trying my hardest not to scream and run out of here in horror. I could try to be prim and proper for one night, couldn't I? Dylan ordered us the pork chop's and some fancy drink that I couldn't even pronounce. What even is this place?! 

"Do you buy your own flowers?" He asked, which piqued my interest. 

"Sorry?" 

"The purple Orchid's, did you buy those?" He questioned, taking a sip of his drink. 

"Oh no I didn't. Ashton gave those to me just before you came." I answered, mimicking his actions. For a fancy drink, it really does taste absolutely awful. 

"So, you and Ashton. What's going on there?" 

"Nothing." I shot, "He was the first friend I made here. Plus, he has a girlfriend. So nothing can go on." 

"Who? Brittany?" He guffawed, throwing his head back, "I don't think him and Brittany can be considered a couple."

"Why do you say that?" 

"They're on and off a lot. Well who can blame them really, there is way too much history and pressure." He explained, before setting his glass down, "Enough about Ashton, this date is between you and me, not you, me and Ashton." 

I nodded but couldn't fully commit myself; I was too busy thinking about what he said about Bimbo Bitch and Ashton. What pressure? What history? I don't think this date is even between us, Dylan. It's more just you taking me out for free fancy food, while I sit here and listen to what you've accomplished. 

"And then we went white water rafting and in the middle of the current, the raft just exploded. It was crazy, we almost lost Chad." He exaggerated, finishing the last bite of his food, while I just sat there nodding and faking interest. Not once has he asked about what I like or me. Ashton wou- 

No Dani, you can't do this! Stop comparing two people who aren't even on the same level together! Ashton is different, he's down to earth, he's caring and kind and he has a dimple on his left cheek that is almost as deep as he is. And Dylan, well he's just some rich kid that pretends to be adventurous just to gain the interest of other people, he obviously has mommy issues, as not even once has he mentioned his mother. His father is clearly trying to make up for the fact that his mother and him are divorced by spoon feeding him and giving him a lot of money. What can I say, I'm just observant. 

"Dani? Are you listening?" He said, waving his hand in front of my face. 

"What? Yeah, sorry. Got lost there for a bit." I replied, taking a sip from my drink, before cutting up a piece of meat, "You were saying?" 

"Enough about me, tell me something about yourself." He says, brushing off the topic and setting down his cutlery. 

"What do you want to know?" I ask, taking a bite of my food.

"Well, for starters, why did you come here for summer vacation of all places?"

"My mom thought we should spend time with my father. So here we are." I explain, taking another bite of my food. 

"Yeah, I heard about your parents divorce.." He said trailing off as he took another sip from his drink.

"How?" 

"It's a small town, Dani. People talk." He deadpanned. It seemed like a warning. "Like for example, this date is going to be the talk of the town tomorrow." 

"Well, there isn't much to talk about now is there Mr. Manson," I said flirtatiously, leaning towards the table.

"Why don't we give them something to talk about then, Miss Walker," He replied, matching my intensity, leaning over the table to peck my lips before sitting back down. I smiled and leaned back into the chair. "Dessert?" He asked as if the kiss never happened, I laughed and nodded.

Once we were done with the dessert and Dylan had paid the bill, he laced his fingers with mine and walked out of the restaurant.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked, turning to face me, our fingers still intertwined.

"Lead the way." 

We walked in silence with our fingers still laced together. The wind was blowing cool air, surrounding us in a blanket. I shivered, running my free hand up and down my arm in hopes of warming myself up. 

"You cold, darling?" He asked, making my cheeks flush at the cute nickname.

"I'll be-f-f-ine." I said, my teeth chattering. Dylan laughed at my expense, making me pout as he stopped in his tracks to take out his jacket and drape it over me. I flashed him a grateful smile and cuddled myself in his jacket, in hopes of warming myself. 

"I hope you had fun today." He said, as we continued walking, breaking the silence that we draped ourselves in. 

"I did." 

"I don't do this often, the whole date thing. But I felt like I needed to, for you." He explained, stopping in his tracks and facing me. "You're not like other girls, Dani. You're different and I really like that about you." As he said that, he leaned down, his eyes fluttering shut. I leaned up and our lips connected. There was no spark, my legs didn't turn into jelly, and my mind didn't go blank. He was a good kisser, no doubt, he just wasn't As-. No, no, no. I can't keep doing this! I can't keep comparing him to Ashton. I can't keep stopping myself for something that is never going to happen! 

I pulled away from the kiss, a small smile on my face but a huge grin on his. We walked back to the valet, who got Dylan's car. We spent the whole drive back talking about plans that Dylan had for college. I was barely paying attention. Have we talked about anything but him the whole time? He drove up my driveway and parked the car. 

"So, can we do this again?" 

"Uhh," I started, looking at the window that was opened in my house. All I could see was Nathan, Harry and Ashton laughing and having fun, watching television. Why could I picture myself there and doing that too? Why couldn't I picture doing anything without Ashton? I've known this guy a week and my mind has thought of nothing else since the rock. Bloody hell, why am I doing this to myself? What is happening with me?! 

"Dani?" Dylan said, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

"I'll call you." I said quickly, throwing the car door open and walking through the front door of my house. 

"You're back early..." I hear Ashton say, leaning against the doorframe leading to the living room. 

"Give me 5 minutes before you start your 20 questions, please." I say deflated, going to my room to [change](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=180742902). I shake out my hair and put on my glasses, after changing. I unlock the door and open it to reveal Ashton waiting for me. "Do you want to watch Friends with me, or something?" I mutter, plopping down in my bed. 

"I'll bring you some pizza." He says, before leaving the room, giving me some time to set up the episode. I open my laptop and start the episode, pausing it to wait for Ashton. He comes back with a box of pizza and two plates. I smile gratefully at him and make space on the bed. I put the laptop in between us and laid back while eating my pizza. 

"So, did the date not go well?" He asked after about 6 minutes of silence between us. As soon as he said that, I paused the episode.

"Wow Irwin, 5 minutes and 46 seconds of restraint. New record?" I teased.

"Oh ha ha. Real funny, Walker." He said sarcastically while playfully glaring at me, "What happened?" 

"Nothing really. I mean he took me to a fancy restaurant and-"

"That was his first mistake." He said, tutting, "How ever did you survive there?" 

"What do you mean first mistake?" 

"You're not the type who like all these fancy restaurant and try-hard’s," He explained. 

"Oh really? What would you do then, if you were taking me out on a date?" I challenged. 

"I would take you to the beach, and when you got there you would see it decorated with fairy lights with soft music in the background. You would see a picnic blanket with a small vase in the middle of it; a single purple orchid. I wouldn't even make you anything, I would've just ordered pizza and we would watch The Cat In The Hat, which is your favourite movie even though you tell everyone that your favourite movie is The Avengers. After that, I would get you cheesecake and maybe even ice cream if you want it. Then we would take a walk to the rock and we would watch the sunset." He said, pushing my hair behind my ear and cupping my cheek. 

For the second time that night, I was rendered speechless, and once again it was from the same person. The way he described the date was as if he reached deep into my mind and put together all my favourite things. It sounded like the perfect date, even better it was going to be with him. 

"Face it Dani," He said, his voice husky and low as he leaned in as if he was going to kiss me, and at this point, that was all I wanted, "I just know you too well." And just like that, he pulled away, as if none of this had happened. A sense of emptiness filled me quickly, but I just laughed it off and took another bite of my pizza, which I had completely forgotten about.

"What happened next?" 

"What?" I asked, mouth full of pizza and severely confused. 

"On the date." He said, like it was obvious, "He took you to a fancy restaurant then...?" 

"Oh right. The date." I sighed, being pulled back into reality. The reality where I went on a date with Dylan and not Ashton. "We ate dinner and dessert. Then we went for a walk and he kissed me. Then-"

"You guys kissed?" Ashton asked, making me nod. "Oh." 

"You alright?" I asked after seeing the pained expression on his face. 

"Yeah, totally." He said unconvincingly, "What happened next?" 

"We walked back to his car and he drove us back. Then he asked if I wanted to do this again." 

"What did you say?" 

"What do you think?" I asked, looking at him intently. Hopefully, this will give me an indication of what he wants. After what Dylan said about Ashton and Brittany, I'm starting to think there's more to the story than them being together. Maybe they're together, but not as boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe they're friends with benefits, minus the friends. Maybe they just have sex with each other and she's just clingy? 

"I think that the kiddo's have been alone for too long." He said, standing up from the bed and going to the door. 

"And I think that you're horrible at hiding your emotions." I retort, taking another bite from the pizza. 

"What do you think that I think then." He sighs. 

"I think you're jealous." I say smugly. 

"Well..I-well-" He stuttered and stumbled. 

"Face it Ashton," I mimic, a smug look gracing my face, "I just know you too well." 

"I am not jealous!" He manages to get out. 

"In the words of Shakespeare," I say, grabbing my copy of Othello, "Beware my lord of jealousy, for it is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on."

"I'm not jealous." He affirms. 

"Sure you're not, just like how Ross doesn't end up with Rachel." 

"I'm not jealous because there's nothing to be jealous of." He says, walking toward me.

"How do you know that? For all you know, I could agree to a second date, maybe even a third." I say, sitting on the edge of the bed, the pizza and laptop forgotten about. "Maybe, he'll even ask me to be his girlfriend, and I'll agree. We could even go on a double date with you and Bimbo Bitch." 

"I know you won't agree on a second date. You know how?" He says, his voice low and husky as he towers over me; dominant. 

"How?" I ask in a whisper, my breath getting heavier. Shit, why was this turning me on.

"Because he's not me."

I leaned up, my eyes fluttering shut as I waited in anticipation of his lips on mine. I yearned for it, I needed it, I craved it. The 3 seconds that I had to wait felt like pure agony. My arms snaked behind his neck as his lips attached themselves to mine. Then, I felt it. I felt what I didn't with Dylan, and what I couldn't feel with anyone else - the spark, the electricity running through my veins, every fiber of my body being jolted. I felt every inch of my skin scream only his name, the burning touch that his fingers offered. Ashton nudged me to lay on the bed as he supported himself on top of me. My legs wrapped around his waist as I pulled him closer to me. My fingers playing and tugging on the ends of his hair making him groan into my mouth. His fingers trailed under my shirt, squeezing my waist. I flipped us over, making me straddle him as I pushed my hair to one side. I unbuttoned his shirt, my eyes raking his toned torso, his eyes drinking the sight of me. I leaned down and peppered his chest with kisses, sucking, biting and marking his body as mine. Wonder what Bimbo Bitch would say about this? 

The sight of Ashton moaning under me, travelled straight to my groin. I started to lick and pepper kisses to his V-line. 

"Baby, do something." He moaned, his voice throaty and low. I smirked, palming him through his jeans, making him let out another moan. I played with his belt buckle, ignoring his pleas. Just as I was unzipping his jeans, his phone started to ring and vibrate under me, which made me let out a soft moan. 

"Just answer it." I said. I mentally slapped myself for letting myself get into this situation. He had a kind-of girlfriend and I went out with Dylan, true it didn't make us a couple but come on! I ran my fingers through my hair and decided that I needed some air. I walked out of the house and stood in the cold outside, just thinking about the situation. Was I just another number to him? Did he actually like me? Is this just a friends with benefits thing? 

"Hey." I heard Ashton say from behind me. 

"Hi." I whispered. 

"So...it's pretty cold here isn't it?" He said, rubbing his arms, standing next to me. 

"Really Ash? We just made out, and would've done way more had your phone not rung and you're attempting to talk to me about the weather?" 

"I didn't know how to approach the subject!" He said playfully, "Maybe the weather was the best way to do it. See, it got you talking about the situation." 

"Situation? More like predicament." I scoffed. 

"Look Dani," He started, placing his hands on my waist, resting them there as he looked deep into my eyes, "I am not with Brittany. I was but I'm not anymore. What Brittany and I have is-"

"Let me guess, complicated?" I interrupted making him sigh but nod. "Ashton, what you have with Brittany is something you clearly don't want to explain and until you do," I say, shrugging his hands off me, "I'm going to always feel terrible even thinking about kissing you, let alone actually kissing you. I need you to either tell me about it, or, just be my friend and nothing else." 

"Dani..." he trailed off, biting his lip and looking at the ground, defeated. My heart broke at the sight.

"Are you staying over with Harry?" I asked, shifting the topic away. He looked up and nodded. "Come on," I say, holding out my hand for him to take. Once our fingers were intertwined, I dragged him behind me, leading him to my room and onto my bed. With my laptop in between us, I laid my head on his chest, his hand immediately wrapping around my waist as he pulled us closer together. He laid his head on mine as we cuddled and watched Friends. I let his rhythmic heartbeat lull me to sleep, with my hand around Ashton's torso and my mind filled only with thoughts of us. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

It was warm...too warm, but funnily enough, it was pleasant. I felt an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to their hard chest and nuzzling their face in my neck. I stiffened at this gesture before yesterday's events flooded my mind. Once I realised that it was Ashton holding me and not some random guy, I relaxed into his touch.

If coming to this hell hole has taught me anything it's that, I can be wrong. I always thought that cuddling with someone was stupid and unnecessary, especially if you're cuddling while sleeping. To me, it always seemed like a facade, just to show yourself and other people that your relationship was real. It seemed very tumblr-like and as much as I loved tumblr, it always seemed to put these kinds of things on a pedestal, romanticizing things that don't need to be romanticized, putting unnecessary goals to a relationship. But I was wrong. Yes, me, Danielle Walker, was wrong. If anything, I relished it, the feel of being close to someone, feeling their protective arm around me, feeling them in their entirety. I turned around and nuzzled further into Ashton's bare chest, placing what I hope was a subtle kiss on it. I felt Ashton stir and pull me closer. 

"Mornin' babe," He whispered in his husky morning voice, kissing my hair and nuzzling into it. Now, I wasn't a morning person at all, but if this was what my mornings were going to entail, I would gladly become one. 

Nope, nope, nope, I am not becoming that girl! I cannot become that girl who's sappy and soppy and loves romance novels! I hate those girls! I ripped the blanket off of me and pried myself out of Ashton's grip, ignoring his groans and whines about staying in bed for a couple more minutes. I shook out my hair and put on my glasses before going to the kitchen and heating up some milk in the microwave. I leaned against the counter, rubbing my face with my hands thinking about how much I've changed. I've gone from a person who could care less what people thought of her to a potential homewrecker and sap and all that in a week too! 

Once the microwave beeped, I got the mug out and stirred in some coffee, spacing out as I did. I always found making a cup of coffee or tea quite cathartic. 

"You're up early," I heard my dad say from his room. I didn't say anything, just kept stirring and sipping m coffee. "You know," He said, walking towards the kitchen, "Some people wouldn't even know that this is my house-"

"Why? Oh right," I say answering my own rhetorical question, "You're never home." 

"That doesn't mean I don't have control over my own house!" He said, voice getting louder, "Imagine my surprise when I came home yesterday, my younger son sleeping with an unknown boy in the living room and you sleeping on top of a teenage boy in your room!" 

"They're our friends, but then again, you wouldn't know about any of that, wouldn't you?"

"Dani.." 

"What excuse do you have now, dad? I shouldn't even be calling you that; you haven't been a dad at all. You're only one in name and nothing else." 

"You can't put the blame entirely on me! You haven't let me in at all." He defended. 

"Name me one time since I've come here that you've even asked me to stay at home so that you can try and patch things up." I challenged, glaring at him, waiting for an answer and when he couldn't come up with one I nodded. "That's what I thought."

"You're always out. Where do I have the chance to even see you?" He tried, making me scoff. 

"It's funny how Nathan, an eleven year old boy, asked me to hang out with him once and I did. I cancelled all my plans that night to spend some time with him, because he asked! Oh and I also took him to a volleyball game because his so-called father had an emergency at work and-" 

"That's not fair, Dani." He interrupted, wagging a finger at me, “He can take care of himself for a couple of hours, he’s 11!" 

"Did you think that when you left us? Huh, Dad?! Dani can take care of herself, she's 9. Nathan can take care of himself, he's 2! But you know what, I had to take care of both of us! A 9 year old, taking care of both herself and a 2 year old! You were in and out of our lives from when I was 9 until you finally decided to leave when I was 13! Mom went void; she could barely function by herself. I had to take care of everyone! Me! A 9 year old girl!" I said, defeated and exasperated, "When are you going to own up to your own mistakes rather than making excuses? You blame everyone but yourself! Grow up, dad." 

"Dani," He pleaded, "Just-"

"Enough! I'm done!" I screamed, slamming my mug on the kitchen counter and storming into my room, slamming my door and sliding down with my face in my hands. I took a deep breath in hopes of calming myself down. I sniffled, not allowing myself to cry and tried to compose myself but couldn't bring myself to stand up. I hung my head in my hands, feeling alone. Suddenly I felt a pair of hands go around my shoulders, pulling me to their chest. I looked up and remembered that Ashton was still in my room. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered, flinging my arms around his neck and nuzzling into him. 

"Never apologise for what you're feeling." He said, pulling me tighter into him for comfort. "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay." He chanted, stroking my hair while I tried to calm myself down. 

"Thank you." I said softly, unwrapping my hands from his neck and standing up from the floor, letting out a sigh. I didn't know what to do, I felt lost. I looked around for some indication of what I should do, how I could fix this. What if Nathan heard us? He can't go through feeling like his family is broken; I won't let it. He needs to feel safe, he-

"Get dressed," Ashton said, putting on his navy blue shirt from yesterday and messing around with his hair. 

"What? Why?" 

"Trust me." Was all he said. I walked over to my cupboard and pulled out the first things that I saw. I motioned for Ashton to turn around while I changed, and like a true gentleman, he obliged. Not wanting to spend more time in this house, I laced up my shoes and grabbed Ashton's hand and my wallet and walked out of the house. As soon as I heard the door close, I let out a huge breath that I didn't even know I was holding in and instantly felt calmer. 

"Thank you." I said again. 

"For what? I haven't done anything...yet." He grinned, lacing his fingers with mine and walking towards his car, opening the door for me. I hesitated, not wanting to go for a drive. "Is everything okay?" Ashton asked, voice full of concern, sensing my hesitation.

"Can we, uhm, maybe walk instead?"

"Of course! I just thought that maybe you would want to take a drive." He said, locking the car and intertwining our fingers together, leading the way. We walked in silence, my mind pushing and pulling me in a million different directions; forcing me to relive things I never wanted to, think things I never thought were fathomable, wish things that were borderline maniacal. My gaze was fixed on the floor as my demonic mind engulfed me, making me wish I had been curled up in my room with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and Cat In The Hat playing on my laptop. 

"Have I told you[how beautiful you look today](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_114/set?id=180990123)?" Ashton asked, breaking the silence and saving me from the darkness that is my mind. I flashed him a small smile, but said nothing. He squeezed my hand to show his support and my gaze dropped back down to the floor. "We're here." He said in a small voice, pulling me into the same restaurant that I went to the day I met him. A smile fell on my face at the flashback of the memory. Ashton ordered a waffle breakfast for both of us along with a hot coffee with whip cream on top. 

"Whenever I feel sad or have a bad day, waffles are my cure." He said cutting into the Belgian Waffles and shoving it in his mouth, getting whip cream on his cheek, which made me laugh. Hearing this, he gasped and in a teasing voice said, "You just laughed! Careful, someone might see." I shook my head, giggling at the whip cream all over his cheek. I took a tissue from in front of me and leaned across the booth to wipe off the whip cream. His eyes locked with mine as I dabbed and wiped the cream off his cheek. I slowly sat down in my seat, squirming to find a comfortable position. I looked at my clothes and sighed. 

"I hate skirts!" I muttered angrily, scrunching the fabric in my hand. 

"She speaks!" He gasped, making me playfully glare at him. "If you hate it, why do you have it?" 

"It's not mine. Its probably Christina's; she didn't take back her clothes yesterday when we got ready for our dates together." I explained, taking a bite from my waffle, "Plus I really wasn't looking when I got ready. I just wanted to get out of the house." My voice dropping to a whisper as I tried not to mull over it. 

"Want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously. 

"I do actually." I blurted without thinking. 

His expression mirrored mine as we stared each other in shock. Did I just say that? Me? The person who is petrified to let anybody in, the person who was so afraid of opening up that I barely had any friends at all. This place really has changed me. I had friends now; real friends who didn't have a hidden agenda to want get close to me. I had friends who were guys whose first thought when seeing me isn't what's underneath my clothes, but rather who I am underneath this facade. I had friends who were girls who upon hearing my secret gave me advice rather than spread it to other ears. I had Ashton, who even with me trying to push him away countless amounts of time, came back and keeps coming back - Like a wave to the shoreline. That's all I ever wanted. 

Ashton's hand moved to rest on top of mine, showing me that he was there for me. 

"I don't know where to start." I managed to squeak out, dropping my gaze to the waffles, not daring to look up at him. 

"How about you tell me what's got you so down?" He suggested, letting me toy with his fingers. 

"You were there," I mutter, "You saw how my dad, if I can even call him that, was acting. You heard what I said." 

"Tell me again." 

"It won't make sense till you've heard the whole story." 

"Then tell me the whole story." He says gently, taking a firm hold on my hand that was resting on the table and squeezing it, making me look at him. His eyes are filled with care, adoration. There's something special about his eyes and the way they can convey emotion, hell he could even give a lecture with just a look! His eyes are glossed over and I can tell that he isn't just saying these things because he has to, he actually is here for me and he won't leave, even if I push him away and he's proven that more than once. 

"My family and I used to be happy, once upon a time," I started, dropping my gaze to his long, slender fingers, toying with them, "We used to be the poster for a happy family. We ate together; played together we even watched movies together. We were happy. It happened slowly, so slowly that you wouldn't have noticed anything was different until it stopped all at once. We stopped eating as a family, there were no more movie nights, no more Family Friday's, no more playing together. It just stopped." 

A lump formed in my throat and I had to fight to blink away tears at the memory. I wouldn't allow myself to cry. Not now. Not ever. I let out a huge breath in hopes of calming myself. Ashton saw this and got up from his side of the booth and sat down next to me, pulling his breakfast towards him to keep up appearances. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his chest, resting his head on top of mine. Immediately my arms snaked around his torso. Tears brimmed my eyes and I forced my eyes to snap shut making sure the tears stayed trapped. 

_ Don't cry _

_ Don't cry _

_ Don't cry _

_ You can't cry!  _

I chanted the mantra over and over until the lump in my throat fell away, tears disappeared, breath got calmer but Ashton, Ashton's arms were still around me, voice whispering calming words, heart beating. He was still here. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered in his chest, nuzzling my face further. 

"Don't apologise for how you feel. Ever." He said, gently pulling me away to look me in the eyes and reiterate his statement. I flashed him a small smile and nodded. 

"Can I continue?" I asked in a small voice after a minute of silence filled with only sounds of us chewing and sipping our coffee. 

"You don't have to." He said gently, sipping on his coffee. 

"I want to." I affirmed, "I need to." 

He nodded, pulling me into his chest and kissing the top of my head before leaning back into the booth and looking at me. I reached my hand to his and interlaced our fingers, smiling up at him. He squeezed my hand and looked intensely at me, waiting for me to continue. 

"I was 9 when everything went downhill. My dad started to go on his so called business trips, leaving my mom, Nathan and I to fend for ourselves. It started off with him being gone for one or two days. When he left, it was like...like the house shut itself off. My mom went void, making me take care of Nathan. He was only 2; he didn't know what was going on and neither did I at the time. But when my dad came home, the house would come to life again. My mom acted like a mom and my family was whole again. Then as the year went on, the business trips got longer and longer. It went from days to weeks and finally when I was 13, he left all together." I said, my breath getting heavier, my grip on Ashton's hand getting tighter, my memory pulling me back and forth. "My mom filed for divorce when I was 12 and the divorce was finalised when I was 13. My mom went void after that, completely void. She became a robot. She shut off her emotions; she forgot we existed. She basically made me a mom at 9 years old. It certainly felt that way what with me taking care f Nathan all this time. I love Nathan, of course I do but I had to grow up way too fast. Then, when she met Bryan, she changed. She was happy again. She started acting like her old self and more like a mom. I’m just glad Nathan grew up with an image of her like a mom and not like what I went through." 

"That doesn't make you happy? Your mom and Bryan?" He asked cautiously. 

"Of course it does! My mom started acting like a mom again, how can I not be happy?" I let out with a shaky laugh, "It's not that Bryan is a bad guy. He's a great guy! He just isn't..." 

"He isn't your dad." 

"He's just not my dad." I said with a nod, "He doesn't do the things that my dad did with me. It's never going to be the same." 

"What did your dad do?" 

"He instilled my love for music." 

"Is he the reason you had an attack in my house when I asked you to play the drums?" Ashton asked, concern filling his voice as he allowed me to play with his fingers, using his other hand to take another sip of coffee. 

"Kind of." I answered in a small voice, "When I was younger, my father taught me how to play the guitar. We would sit down and play together for hours - him on the piano and me on the guitar. We always dreamt of playing in front of a crowd, getting a standing ovation. The father-daughter duo taking over the world once stage at a time. Then he left and from that day I vowed never to play another instrument again." 

"Can I give you some advice?" He asked breaking the silence that fell over us, "Real advice, not the sugar coated ones."

"Go for it." I said, sitting up, absentmindedly playing with my most prized possession - my necklace. 

"Your father has spent years instilling a love of his in you. It's pretty clear he loves music and even if he turned out to not be the father you expected, he still was a pretty good one when it came to sharing a piece of him with you." Ashton said wisely, "You may have family problems, but at least you're lucky enough to have a family." 

"Can I ask you something, Ash?"

"Go for it, love." 

"Do you think I should give my father a chance?" 

"Honest answer?" 

"Always." I said with a smile. 

"I think you should give him a chance to explain his side and then decide." 

My mind was pulling me in a million different directions, some parts considering Ashton's advice, others screaming at me for telling Ashton my story. A small part in the back of my mind commended me for letting someone in, even if that person was Ashton. It wasn't even lunchtime yet and already I was exhausted. 

"You doing alright, love?" He asked with a small smile on his face. 

"Better now." I answered honestly. "Thanks to you." 

"I told you waffles were always the cure for a bad day." He said dropping his eye into a wink, making me playfully push him. He called for the bill and practically held both of my hands with his one huge one, stopping me from paying. 

"Oh come on, Dani! Don't be like that!" He said stalking after me as I walked out of the restaurant, the waitresses laughing at our antics.

"No Ashton! That wasn't fair! I should have at least paid for my half." 

"Now what kind of man would I be if I let a beautiful lady such as yourself pay." He said, grabbing my wrist and making me face him - dimpled smile and all. Damn him and his stupidly attractive dimples, and those beautiful doe eyes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Irwin." 

"Clearly it's getting me somewhere." He teased, pulling me closer to his chest by my wrist, voice dropping to a whisper, "You're blushing." 

I was unaware of the heat that rose to my cheeks until he pointed it out and still, the heat rose. Every part of me was singing, pulsing, racing. My blush got deeper, my smile got wider, my gaze dropped to the floor and my heart was beating at a million miles per hour. His finger went under my chin and lifted it so I was looking into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Without a doubt you are the most beautifully flawed and sarcastic person I will ever have the privilege of meeting. And I know, that I am the luckiest person to have met you because you, Danielle Walker, are something else." 

And just like that, he let me go, his dimpled smile growing as he walked backwards, with his eyes still trained on me. I shook my head, laughing and started to walk away from him. 

"Oh and Danielle!" He screamed, making me turn my head. "I love that I'm the only one who can make you blush." 


	14. Chapter 14

_My eyes were closed as I relished the feeling of hot water cascading down my body. I could feel my previously tense muscles mirror my actions, loosening up and freeing itself of all worry; just like I was doing. I stayed in the shower, mentally prepping myself to get out of the amazing heat and into the cold. I turned off the shower and reached for my towel, wrapping it around myself. I walked out of the shower and looked for my clothes, which usually were on the hangers on the door, but they weren’t there. That’s weird…._

_“Nathan? Dad?” I called out as I exited the bathroom, my hand securing the towel on my body. “Guys?” I tried once again, eliciting no response. Guess I was home alone then. I walked to my room, closing the door behind me, my hand folding the towel so I wouldn’t have to hold it anymore. I reached my hands up to my hair and shook it._

_“Hello beautiful,” I heard from behind me, making me jump and turn around._

_“Ashton.” I breathed, my hand flying to the towel on my chest, my hair dripping from the shower. “W-what are you doing here?”_

_“Still as gorgeous as ever…” He says, ignoring my question. His eyes were raking my body, making me squirm. He was wearing that damn navy blue shirt that gets me every single time. He walked over to me, getting up from my bed. His hand trailed from my face, to my neck, to my hip and back to where my hand was holding my towel. He grips my hand in his and ever so gently pulls it off the towel. Using that hand, he pulls me closer to him, his breath fanning over my face. “Tell me you want this too.” He whispers, his mouth finding my neck and sucking and biting on it, marking me as his and only his. My hair was dripping water on the towel and on his shirt._

_“Ashton..” I moan, throwing my head back to give him better access._

_“Say you want me, Dani. Tell me you need me.” He growls, his lips getting rougher._

_“I need you, Ashton.” I moan, capturing his lips with mine and tangling my fingers in his hair and then trailing them down his toned back and to the hem of his shirt. We break apart for a second, allowing me to pull off his shirt and recapture our lips. I trail my fingers over his chest and down to his abs, teasing him. He breaks the kiss to reach his hand to the knot on my towel and pulls it, making the towel drop to the floor. His eyes, now dark with lust, drink in the sight of my naked body. He brought up his hand, caressing my cheek before capturing my lips in a passion filled kiss, his tongue invading my mouth, fighting for dominance. His mouth then travelled to my sweet spot, making me moan as his hands palmed my breast, pulling, tweaking and squeezing the nipple. My moans only grew louder as he kissed down my body, from my breast, to my navel, now travelling to my dripping core._

_“Dani…” He moaned my name, making me groan and squirm under his touch._

_“Ashton!” I practically screamed out, panting under him. He attached his lips to my cl-_  

I shot out of bed, gasping and panting. Did I just have a wet dream about Ashton? Holy shit, what is going on with me?! I jumped out of my bed, my hands instantly dialing a number on my phone. My fingers raked and tangled in my hair, trying to wrap my head around what was happening. 

"Please tell me you have no plans right now!" I blurted as soon as the dial tone stopped, "I need to talk to someone and you're the only one I actually can talk to." 

"Hi Dani! Yeah I'm fine, thanks for asking. No I haven't had breakfast yet but thanks for the concern." Christina said, giggling. 

"Tee! I'm serious! I really, really,  _really_  need your help right now." 

"What is it?" She asked, her tone growing concerned. 

"I can't say it over the phone." I said, bringing my fingernail to my mouth so I could bite it. It's a nasty habit really. 

"Why? Scared the NSA might tap our phone call?" She joked. 

"That or even worse - someone we know might hear." 

"Oh my god! What did you do?" She gasped. 

"Just get dressed and meet me at the Fish Shack." I said and hung up the phone, practically running to my cupboards and throwing on the first thing I could find. I pulled my hair back into what seems like a fancy half-ponytail, but really isn't and looked at myself one last time. Deeming myself appropriate, I darted out of the house with my phone in one hand, but my dignity in none. I'm being a tad bit overdramatic, but I think you get the point.

I reached the Fish Shack and darted in, sitting in a booth and shaking my leg in anticipation. I read over the menu again and again even though I already decided what I was going to get. I pulled out my phone, checking the time every twenty seconds, hoping that Christina would get here faster. After what seemed like an eternity, but really was only four and a half minutes, not that anyone is keeping count, Christina finally walked in looking like she just came out from a fashion spread with her hair perfectly curled and styled, her outfit so on point Kendall Jenner would be put to shame. She can literally pull off anything and look beautiful. 

"Do you always get this dressed up to meet friends, or is it just to show me up?" I teased, hugging her. 

"Do you always call your friends with that enthusiasm or is it just for me?" She retorted, sitting down in the booth and looking over the menu. Once she decided what she was getting, we ordered the food and thanked the waitress. 

"So," Christina started, looking at me intently, "How was your date with Dylan?"

Oh, you mean the date I went on where I made a list of things he did wrong, compared him with Ashton, let him pay for an expensive meal, kiss him only to go back home to Ashton and make out with him and would've gone further had his phone not rung and cuddled all night with him..That date?

"It was alright." I muttered, playing with the tissue on the table.

"Okay, what's wrong?" She asked, sighing.

"Uhh..."

"Spit it out!"

"ImadeoutwithAshtonandthenhadawetdreamabouthim" I blurted, covering my face.

"In English please."

I then proceeded to tell Christina everything- from the date with Dylan, to the date I wished I had with Ashton, to the making out, to what happened in the cafe with me opening up, obviously leaving out what happened with my family. 

"Well..." She simply said, "You have had nothing but eventful days, haven't you?" 

"Tell me about it." I muttered, shoving a forkful of food into my mouth.

"Do you wish you were going out with Ashton?" 

"Tee, I'm going to leave this place in 5 weeks more or less. I don't think having anything with anyone is wise right now." 

"That wasn't my question, Dani." She said softly. 

"The whole time I was with Dylan, I just kept comparing him to Ashton." I sighed, "I know it was extremely unfair of me, but I couldn't help it. Like when he didn't open the car door for me, I kept thinking about how Ashton would've done it. How he would open it as if it were a carriage door and rush over to the other side, getting in and holding my hand the whole way there. How instead of a fancy restaurant, he would've done something he knew I liked. He even detailed the perfect date that we would've had, had I gone out with him instead." 

"You are in so deep." She teased with a giggle.

"Oh shut up! Like you're any better!" I scoffed playfully, making her blush slightly. "Speaking of, how was your date with Luke?" 

"Oh it was wonderful! He was such a gentleman." She said, fondness washing over her, "Oh Dani, it was absolutely perfect." 

"Did he make it official? Are you finally Luke Hemming's girlfriend?" 

"He did and it was so cute! He was so nervous, it was adorable." Christina giggled. Her phone started buzzing. "Oh, speak of the devil!" 

"I'm sure your boyfriend can go a couple of hours without you." 

"Apparently yours can't." 

"I don't have a boyfriend." I said, confused. 

"Ashton." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, ignoring my splutters and scoffs about him not being my boyfriend. She continued to text Luke. "By the way, they're going to be here in a couple of minutes." 

"Tee! I wasn't done talking to you about...stuff" I complained. 

"Dani you and I both know you have stuff you need to work out with Ashton. Ignoring and avoiding him won't help with that! You're going to be here for another 5 weeks, make the most of it." 

"I'm not avoiding him!" I asserted, playing with the remains of my food. 

"Did you talk to him at all after you poured your heart out yesterday?" 

Well, technically I did; in my dreams. Although, it wasn't talking so much as it was moaning...

"He didn't talk to me either." 

"So you're telling me," She said, snatching my phone from in front of me, "That if I look through your phone I wouldn't find texts from him." 

"I...Well..." 

"I thought so." She said victoriously, making me roll my eyes. 

"I wasn't avoiding him." 

"Then what were you doing? Let me guess, not answering his texts." 

"Okay so maybe I was avoiding him a little. But you can't blame me! I don't do the whole emotions thing well. I'm just...well, it's not me and opening up was hard enough. I just needed some space and I'm sure he knows that too." I explained. 

"What was the other thing you said? Something about a dream?" Christina asked, trying to deviate the topic. Little did she know, it really wasn't helping. 

"Well, I uh...had a dream about Ashton and uhh..." 

"Was it an adult dream?" She asked, making my face turn beet red. When she finally caught on to what I was saying, she gasped and tried her best to stifle a giggle.

"I can't control what I dream!" I nearly screamed, covering my face with my hands while Christina doubled over in laughter. 

"I heard dream! Are you guys talking about me, again?" I heard Ashton say as he made his way through the half-empty restaurant, walking towards our booth. I averted my eyes, not being able to look at him from pure mortification. I looked at Christina with wide, fearful eyes, unsure of what to do. 

"Hey baby." Luke said, pecking her cheek and sliding himself into the booth next to her. A blush rose from her cheeks due to his actions and they retracted into their little bubble of perfection and happiness. 

"Hello beautiful." Ashton said, making my eyes pop out from my skull. That's what he said in my dream! Holy shit, he knows! I started to panic, looking at Christina, hoping that she would catch onto my panic and help me out. She didn't. She was too busy with Luke. "Dani?" Ashton said sliding into my side of the booth. 

"Hmm?" I answered, looking everywhere except him, not being able to hide my...emotions. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." I squeaked, cursing my voice for betraying me. 

"Is it about yesterday? Look, I'm sorry. I know I should've given you space but I couldn't help but text you. I was-"

"No, no, it's not." I assured him, my voice still small and shaky, "It's not you, it's me." 

"This is the second time this week you've tried friend-breaking up with me." He said, his tone growing serious, "What's going on with you?" 

"Nothing." I blurted, pushing my plate of french fries to him, "Want a fry?" 

"Stop trying to divert the conversation." Ashton says as he shoved the french fries in his mouth. 

"Yes, you dork! I'm already your girlfriend, why wouldn't I want to go with you!" I hear Christina say with a giggle from the other side of the booth. 

"I just thought that uhm..I don't know." Luke replies with a sheepish smile, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. 

"Congrats mate!" Ashton says, slinging his arm behind my shoulder onto the booth, "You finally asked her! Tee did you know that he's been practicing asking you since a month ago!" 

"Shut up, Ash!" 

"Aww, baby!" She says in a teasing voice, kissing his cheek and snuggling into his shoulder. 

"I have no idea what's going on right now, but I'm really excited!" I contribute which makes them laugh. 

"There's this ball that's coming up and Luke just asked Christina to be his date." Ashton explains, trying to make eye contact with me, but I skillfully divert my eyes from him. You can't blame me okay! I'm embarrassed.

"Aww Lukey!" I tease, "When is it anyway?" 

"Tomorrow night." Luke answers, intertwining his fingers with Christina's. Ahh the honeymoon phase! It's gross. 

"Tee what are you going to where?" I ask, resting my head on my folded hands that were on the table. 

"I have no idea! Want to go shopping later?" 

"Hell yes!" 

"Speaking of the dance..." Luke says, clearing his throat. "Ash."

"Yeah buddy?" He answers, looking at Luke who was wagging his eyebrows and eyeing him. 

" _Ash!"_  Luke prompts, eyeing him and cocking his head. Ashton shook his head and looked away from Luke. 

"That was interesting..." I say looking at Christina who looked equally as confused. 

"Dani you should come to the dance too!" She says excitedly. 

"I don't do dances." 

"What do you do?" Ashton asks. 

You. But only in my dreams. 

"Wouldn't you like to know." I mutter, playing with my phone so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"I do. That's why I asked, love." He said with smugness in his voice.

"Well, we're off. Bye guys!" Luke said, grabbing Christina's hand and darting out of the restaurant. I looked at Christina with fear in my eyes. I can't be alone with Ashton! Holy shit, what am I going to do? I tried to scoot away from him but he grabbed my wrist. I squirmed trying to get out of his vice tight grip. 

"You know, they say that people who can't look at you in the eyes are hiding one of two things - a lie and a love." Ashton said. I could feel his eyes on me as I shielded my face with my hair, still trying to get my wrist out of his hand. How is it possible for someone to have fingers these long?! Imagine them in me....Shit! No, Dani! I could feel my face heat up at the mere thought of it. "So Dani, which one is it? A lie or a love?"

"Neither."

"You won't even look in my direction. So it has to be something." He asserted. "Tell me."

"It's nothing." I squeaked, my voice cracking.

"Sure it's nothing. That's why you can barely look at me, let alone speak to me. It can't be about you opening up to me so it has to be something else."

"What are you Sherlock Holmes now?" I retorted.

"I have to be ten different people just to figure you out. A couple of days ago it was Shakespeare, today it's Sherlock Holmes." He said, trying to lighten the mood, which worked as it caused me to laugh. He feigned a gasp, which made me snap my head towards him to see what was happening. His eyes were gleaming with mischief, his caramel coloured hair was calling out my name; I needed to run my fingers through them. And those god damn dimples, the ones that make me melt, the ones that are so damn deep I could fit the whole ocean in just one dimple. Immediately the dream flooded back causing my cheeks to heat up and turn from a light pink to a deep red. I let my hair shield my face in hopes that he didn't see my blush. "Are you blushing?" 

"No." I squeaked out again. What is it with my voice today?! Am I an 18 year old girl or a 12 year old boy going through puberty?! 

"Okay, that's it!" Ashton said as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to face him. He then put his finger under my chin and lifted my head up so I had to look at him. 

"W-what-" I started to say but got cut off. 

"You are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you! This is ridiculous! You can't even look or speak to me. You're making it seem as if we had sex and it's awkward or something." He rambled. My eyes practically popped out at how close he was in guessing what was going on with me. An involuntary noise that sounded like a squeak left my mouth and I slapped my hand over it. "What?" He asked, his eyebrows cocking up with the question. 

"Seriously Ashton, it's nothing." I said, clearing my throat and averting my eyes from his face to look at the people in the booth next to us. 

"You just squeaked at the sex part but we didn't have sex...." He thought out loud.

"Ash, seriously! Stop!" I tried to assert, but failed. 

"What did you dream about me or something." He said, laughing at the notion. I tried my best to try to look nonchalant, but that too, failed as my own body betrayed me, my emotions getting the best of it. A deep red blush washed over my cheeks. Ashton noticed this and gasped before chuckling. His whole body racked with laughter. It got louder and louder changing from an old man's laugh to a little school girl's laugh to a proper guffaw.

"Shut up." I said, folding my arms over my chest and leaning back into the booth, the blush not being able to leave my face. As he calmed down, he looked at me intently, his cheeks tinted with a light pink. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, putting his palms up to show that he was done. 

"You can't blame me! I'm an 18 year old hormonal girl and you're an attractive boy! It's not as if I can control my dreams! It just happened!" I rambled animatedly. 

"You think I'm attractive?"

"That's all you got from that?!" 

"What did we do in the dream?" 

"Oh hell no!" I said, slamming my palm down on the table. "That is not something you can ask!" 

"Since I starred in your dream version of a porno, I definitely can." He said with a smug smirk on his face. 

"It wasn't a porno! It was classy and there was no penetrative sex." I said, crossing my arms over my chest in victory.

"But there was oral sex?" 

"I am not discussing this with you!" 

"Was I good?" He asked, ignoring my attempt to put a stop to this conversation.

"I-Well-See-I..." I stuttered and spluttered, trying to form a coherent sentence or witty response. Ashton's smug smile only grew at my inability to do virtually anything as I was flustered.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"You weren't-I mean," I said but faltered. I let out a huge frustrated sigh before just saying, "No!"

"No what?"

"No you weren't 'good.' You weren't anything!"

"Your blush says differently." He said, gently stroking my cheek with his finger. He then leaned in slightly, causing my mouth to go agape. "So does your inability to speak." 

"I-" 

"Want to know a secret, love?" He said in a husky whisper. Not trusting my voice, I simply just nodded. "Your dreams will never do justice to what I can actually do to you." 

"You don't even know what it's about." I breathed out, my legs turning into jelly. 

"Doesn't matter." He said, resting his hand on my exposed thigh. "Anything you dream of, I can do better." 

"Ashton..." I breathed in a soft whisper, my imagination running wild. My eyes fluttered shut as I leaned in slowly. I could practically feel his smug grin as he leaned in, ghosting his lips over mine. I tried to close the distance but he wouldn't let me. He ghosted and brushed his lips over mine a couple more times before pulling away completely. My eyes snapped open in confusion.

"Be my date to the ball tomorrow?" He asked, his hand rubbing small circles on my thigh. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice. His face was taken over with a huge dimpled smile as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I'll pick you up at 8." He said before sliding out of the booth and walking out of the restaurant. 

What just happened? 

I guess I have some dress shopping to do then.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

"And then he just asked me." I explained to Christina from my dressing room, trying to shrug on the long ball gown. 

"Awww. Who knew Ashton was so smooth?!" She exclaimed from her dressing on, trying on her dress as well. 

"Oh shut up!" I joked, zipping up the dress and looking at myself in the mirror. "Ready?" I asked, my hands on the curtain, waiting to open it up. 

"1,2,3!" She said and simultaneously, we got out of the dressing room and stood in front of each other. 

"Tee..." I trailed off, not liking the way the dress fit on her. "It's a cute dress but it isn't   _the one."_

"Hun, I love you but neither is that." She sighed solemnly as we walked back into the dressing room, changing into our normal clothes. We walked out into the store and jumped back into Christina's car. 

"Tee, we've tried all the stores that you suggested. Can we please go with my suggestion now?" [I](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_118/set?id=182036202) begged, folding my hands from the passenger's seat. 

"No Dani! We are not going to a formal ball in jeans and a shirt!" 

"But Tee-" 

"Dani!" She reprimanded playfully, "This is the biggest, fanciest ball that's thrown every year. There's going to be champagne and big people there. We would stand out like a sore thumb!" 

"We'll stand out anyway, regardless of our clothes. Well, me more than you. I'm such an awkward turtle." I sighed and leaned back into the car seat. "What's the big deal about this ball anyway?" 

"Have you heard of Paul Robertson?" 

"The richest business tycoon in all of America! Who hasn't?" 

"It's his ball." She answered. "He throws it in here every year because it's where he grew up. He calls his clients and potential clients and the whole town to come celebrate his success. He's a really nice guy." 

"So that's a definite no to the jeans and shirt plan?" 

"Dani!" She said once again, laughing. "Now what?" 

"We're only going to wear these dresses once, so I don't see the point of buying one. Why don't we just rent it?" I proposed, turning on the radio. 

"You're a genius!" She said and sped the car off.

"Well..." I said and flipped my hair, causing Christina to laugh. "Where are we going?" 

"There's a rental store on the other side of town. It's our last hope. If we don't find  _the_ dress there, we can go with your idea of jeans and a shirt." 

"Off we go then!" 

5 songs and 2 very long advertisements later, we finally reached the shop. It was a shop in the middle of literally nowhere. There were no cars, no houses, just this quaint little shop lot.

"You know," I said to Christina, getting out of the car, "If you wanted to kill me, you could've just done it there and not go through all this trouble." 

"Oh hun, if I wanted to kill you, I would hire people rather than get my hands dirty." 

"Does Luke know about this crazy side of you, yet?" I teased, pushing the door of the shop open hearing the little chime of the bell that was hung on the top of the door. 

"Only in the bedroom." She replied with a wink, looking around the shop. 

"Tina!" A little old lady called out from behind the counter. 

"Miss Wan! Hi!" Christina greeted cheerily. "This is my friend, Dani. We're looking for-" 

"Dresses for the ball tonight." She interrupted, finishing Christina's sentences. 

"Yeah, how did you-"

"Know what you were about to ask?" She finished again. 

"Are you a mind reader?" I blurted, covering my mouth with my hand. 

"No, sweetie. The ball is tonight so I just used common sense." She said, laughing and guiding us to a section at the back of the store. "These are my favourite dresses in the whole store. I keep them for special customers. Take your pick. The changing rooms are that way." She said before leaving us to look at the dresses. I glided my fingers on all of the dresses before finding one that caught my eye. Immediately, I snatched it out of the rack and pushed it in Christina's unsuspecting hands. 

"Try this! I think it's the one." I said excitedly. She laughed at my antics but complied with my request, walking towards the changing room while I looked around for my dress. I was looking through my third rack before I heard the click of the lock of the changing room; I turned around and saw Christina. The way the material of the dress accentuated her curves; tight in some places yet loose in others...She looked beautiful - like a princess. My mouth fell agape at the mere sight of her. 

"Well...?" She asked nervously, biting her lip while waiting for my response.

"I...Wow! If I'm like this, imagine how Luke will be," I teased as she blushed. 

"So, this is the one then?" She asked and I nodded fiercely. She grinned and walked back into the changing room to change, leaving me to look for my dress.

After 10 minutes of both of us looking but coming up short, we took a break and sat down. 

"I think I have to go in jeans and a shirt." I sighed, feeling disappointed. 

"You don't sound happy about that." She teased, "What happened to comfort and style?" 

"Well, I can't disappoint  _the_  Paul Robertson-" 

"Is that what we're calling Ashton now?" 

"Well-I-See."

"Just admit it, Dani. You want to impress Ashton." She said, nudging my shoulder with hers.

"I want to impress Paul Robertson. Ashton's just accompanying me to the ball." I said, "As friends." 

"So do you make out with all of your friends, or is that privilege only for Ashton?" 

"Shut up and help me look for a dress." 

"Girls!" Miss Wan announced, approaching us. "Found your dresses?" 

"Only mine, Miss Wan." Christina answered, holding up her dress, "Unfortunately, we couldn't find  _the_  dress for Dani." 

"Well," Miss Wan said, taking my hand in hers and leading my to the back of the shop, "I was saving this for someone really special, and I think you just may be the one." 

The minute my eyes landed on the dress that was so perfectly tailored for the mannequin, I fell in love with it. The way the material flowed, the blue creating a sea of the body, the sequins bordering the neck and the waist making the dress look like it had been tailored for royalty. It truly was meant for someone special...Was I special enough to pull it off?

"Go on, dear." Miss Wan encouraged, "Try it on." I slowly approached the dress, taking it off the mannequin and walking to the changing room. I stripped off my ACDC band tee and shorts and climbed into the dress. I zipped it up and avoided the mirror at all costs, just in case it didn't look good on me. I unlocked the door and walked out, making sure to assess the first impression that both Miss Wan and Christina had of the dress. 

"Dani you look....Wow!" Christina said, her face in awe. Miss Wan had a huge grin on her face, nodding at Christina's statement. 

"I was right." She bragged, "You really are something special."

After I changed back into my normal clothes and slung the dress on my arm, I walked up to the till with Christina. 

"How much is it Miss Wan?" I asked as she was bagging our dresses.

"Don't worry about it, dear." She said handing our bags to us, "Just have fun!"

"Miss Wan, we can't-" Christina started but got interrupted by her tuts as she shooed us away from her shop, wishing us a good day.

"Well..." I started, "That was...something."

"I'm just glad we found our dresses." Christina said, getting into her car. "Let's go get ready."

~~~

"Hold still, Dani!" Christina scolded, frustrated, holding my shoulder down as I wiggled around, not allowing her to finish my make-up. 

"But Tee!" I said, squirming around like a child. 

"Dani! Come on, just give me two minutes okay. I swear I'll be done by then." She tried to negotiate, holding the eyeliner in her hand and coming in to finish her winged eyeliner that she has tried to perfect for the fifth time. "And we're done!" She said, letting me let out a huge sigh of relief. She nudged me to her mirror and allowed me to look at myself for the first time. I looked myself up and down and honestly felt like royalty. My hair was curled and styled, my make-up was light but bold on the eyes and the royal blue dress clung onto my waist and flowed all the way to the floor. I felt beautiful and for once, I actually thought that I looked beautiful.

"Christina! The boys are here!" We heard her mom call from downstairs. We looked at each other and smiled.

"Ready?" She asked, opening the door of her room. 

"Just..give me a second." I said, still looking in the mirror, toying with my necklace that I never took off. She nodded and hugged me before grabbing her clutch and walking out of her room and down the stairs. I readied myself mentally and grabbed my purse. I went over all the scenarios in my head of things that could go wrong, just in case it did. Like for example, if Ashton decided not to turn up or if I tripped on my dress while walking down the stairs, making myself look like an idiot. 

I shoved these thoughts aside and took a deep breath before placing my hand on the railing and walking down the stairs. I felt like one of the girls you only see in movies, and I loved the feeling. I walked down the stairs one by one, my heels clicking against the white marble, making my entry known to the people waiting for me at the bottom. I glanced upwards when I reached halfway down the long, spiralling staircase and immediately my eyes found Ashton. His curly hair was tamed, his eyes sparkled, his mouth was in a grin; he looked like he was in awe, like he just won the lottery. He was wearing a white button down shirt, with a tie and a black blazer and black dress pants. If I was being honest, I just wanted to rip his clothes apart and take him right there but since we were going to a ball and I went through all this trouble and got a ball gown and felt like a princess, I was damn well going to act like one. 

I finally reached the bottom of the stairs and took his hand that he held out for me. I felt my blood run through my veins, my palm was tingling from his mere touch, even more so when he intertwined our fingers together. 

"You're looking quite dapper, Irwin." I teased in a fake British accent. 

"I would say that you look beautiful but that would be a lie," He said with a sigh, making my heart drop to my stomach, "It would be a lie because there hasn't been a word that has been invented to describe how gorgeous and perfect you're look. I couldn't even string the 26 letter's of the alphabet to make a sentence that would do justice to how utterly perfect you look." 

"You look beautiful, Dani." Luke complimented and I silently thanked him for it because I had no idea how to respond to what Ashton said, but I was pretty sure that my red cheeks said more than I ever could. 

"Why thank you kind sir. Shall we?" I said prompting us to file out and go to the ball, which I was more than ready to go to. I wanted so badly to see what all the hype was about. 

Ashton and I went in his car while Christina and Luke went in his. To be honest, I really was nervous to go alone with Ashton. What was I supposed to say?  _Hey! Remember yesterday when you found out I had a wet dream about you and then proceeded to tell me that you could do better than it. Yeah about that, since then I can't stop thinking about what you said and it's unfair that you come dressed so amazingly. You in a white button down shirt, or any clothes for that matter does things to me that it really shouldn't. I really just want you out of those clothes right now._

"You alright?" He asked, snapping me out of my highly inappropriate thoughts and into reality. 

"What? Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm perfectly alright." I said, clearing my throat 

"You sure? 'Cause you're biting your lip awfully hard." He said, glancing at me and then back to the road.  _I'd rather you bite it for me._

"Did I tell you how amazingly hot you look in a white button down shirt and tie?" I blurted, mentally slapping myself. He chuckled at my sudden outburst, his smile never leaving his face. 

"Why thank you, m'lady." He replied, his hand shifting to rest on the gearshift, "Did I mention how gorgeous you're looking on this fine evening?" 

"Once or twice." I replied coyly, resting my hands on my thigh, near the gearshift. I saw his eyes glance at my hands, smile growing bigger. 

"You should hear it a thousand times, a million even!" 

"Cheeseball." I cough out pretending to hide it. He gasps in feigned surprise. 

"Is that my new nickname?" 

"Not even close, Boardshorts." I say with a laugh. 

"You do realise that this is a ball right?" He asks, changing the subject.

"Am I not dressed for the occasion?" 

"Oh no no, you definitely are. Like wow!" He compliments, sneaking in another glance at me, causing my cheeks to tint pink, "But a ball means dancing..." 

"Turn this car around!" I scream, pulling the car handle.

" You're going to have to dance sooner or later," Ashton said with his famous giggle. 

"I choose later. “I decided, still pulling on the handle, "Later being never." 

"I promise you'll be fine. You can dance with me." He said with a shrug, his hand resting on mine and squeezing, "I'll lead and you can follow." 

"But-" I protested, but got cut off by him. 

"Other than a handful of us, you don't know anyone else right?" 

"Yeah."

"You can literally do the chicken dance and no one will know who you are." Ashton said, in an attempt to calm my nerves. 

"Only if you do it with me." 

"You think I would let you look like a fool by yourself?" He said with a laugh, "I wouldn't only dance with you, I would record it and use it against you." 

"But you would be in the video too. How would that make sense?" 

"I don't feel shame." He said, parking the car. He ran out and opened the door on my side, taking my hand and helping me out. 

"Why thank you, kind sir." I said, taking his hand, intertwining our fingers. "Where is the other kind sir?" I said looking around for Luke and Christina. 

"Let's just say once he saw Christina, he had to get lucky." 

"Do you have any hopes of getting lucky tonight?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow. 

"With you by my side, I already did get lucky." He said, smiling down at me and squeezing my hand. I looked down and felt the heat rise to my cheeks. We started walking into the hall, hand in hand. The minute we entered the hall, a soft purple glow was cast over us. The tables were on one side of the room and the dance floor, another. There was a mini replica of a streetlight, illuminated by a candle with fairy lights twirled around it as the centre piece of each table. Already there was a bunch of people scattered around the room, most of them grabbing drinks at the open bar. 

My heart was thumping due to my nervousness and I was squirmy and fidgety. Sensing this, Ashton squeezed my hand to show his support and pulled me closer, snaking his hand around my waist. I smiled up at him and silently thanked him. He grinned and pecked my cheek before leading both of us to the bar. Ashton grabbed a glass of champagne for the both of us. I downed the first one, quickly picking up another to help calm my nerves. 

"Slow down, love." He whispered, leaning down.

"Liquid courage." I whispered back my excuse. 

"You better drink some more then. Look who's coming over here." He said, subtly cocking his head to the left. I turned around seeing the one and only Paul Robertson making his way to the bar. I squeaked and turned around, putting down my champagne and picking up a white wine and started to nurse it...and by nursing it, I meant chugging it - but sophisticatedly (I hope). 

"Ashton, my boy!" Mr Robertson said, holding out his hand for him to shake, clapping his other hand on Ashton's shoulder.

"Mr Robertson, sir." Ashton greeted, shaking his hand firmly, his free hand around my waist. "How have you been, sir?" 

"Oh same old same old, my boy!" He greeted enthusiastically, slapping his hand on Ashton's shoulder. "And you? How are your brother and mother keeping?" 

"I'm alright, sir and so is my mom and Harry. She's working day and night as usual." Ashton answered politely, a hint of sadness in his voice. 

"And who is this beautiful lady?" He asked, turning to face me, with a grin on his face.

"This is Danielle Walker." Ashton answered, pulling me closer by my waist. I stuck my hand out to shake Mr Robertson's hand.

"Hello Danielle." Mr Robertson said, taking my hand in his, "You wouldn't happen to be Robin Walker's daughter, would you?"

"I am, sir." I answered, turning back to the bar, grabbing a glass of champagne and facing him again.

"So you are the Danielle Walker who got the scholarship from Julliard?"

"I am, sir." I repeated, taking a sip of the drink. I glanced at Ashton who looked taken aback, but then regained his composure. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Mr Robertson, but how do you know about the scholarship?" 

"I am a very silent part of the Board of Directors." He said with a chuckle. 

"They have hundreds of scholarships, sir. How do you know about this one?" 

"Simple." He answered, a knowing smile on his face, "I finance it." 

"The Son Scholarship. Robertson." I thought out loud, piecing the puzzle together. 

"Have you reached your decision yet, Miss Walker?" 

"Sir," I said, "It's an acting and musical scholarship and as Julliard made quite clear, I can't only act, I would have to sing as well as play instruments and..." 

"It's an amazing offer, Miss Walker. Think it over." He said, patting my shoulder and turning to Ashton, "I think my daughter is looking for you, son." He continued before excusing himself, walking to where a bunch of old men wearing tuxes stood around a bar table. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in, before gulping the rest of my drink and turning around to get another. 

"Why is his daughter looking for you?" I asked, a drink in my hand. 

"I have no idea." He muttered in a small voice, looking around to avoid my gaze. 

"You're friends with his daughter, I'm assuming?" I asked rather than stated. 

"I wouldn't call it friendship..." He said awkwardly, scratching his neck. 

"Do I know his daughter....?"  

"Sort of?" He asked rather than answered. 

"Ash!" 

"Brittanyishisdaughter." He blurted. 

"What?!" 

"Brittany..uhm yeah, that's his daughter." 

"Bimb-Brittany Robertson." I said out loud, "Well, that explains it." 

"Explains what?" 

"How she could afford all that plastic surgery." 

"So..." Ashton said, changing the subject, pulling me away from the bar, "A scholarship to Julliard, huh?" 

"You were there listening to the whole conversation." I snapped, not wanting to explain myself further.

"You're not taking it?" He asked, ignoring my outburst. 

"I don't know." I breathed, resisting the urge to run my fingers through my hair and tangling them in it. 

"You don't have to have everything figured out." Ashton said, putting his hands on my shoulders and rubbing small circles on it, "None of us do anyway." I smiled and launched myself at him, my arms immediately intertwining themselves behind their neck.I buried my face in the crook of his neck. To say he was surprised would be an understatement. He was caught off guard by my actions but once he came back to his senses, and wrapped his arms around my waist with the biggest grin on his face. 

"Hey guys! We were-Oh are we interrupting something?" I heard Christina say. We broke apart and I tried to move away from Ashton's side but he kept a firm grip on my waist so we stood side by side, his arm around my waist with a smile on both our faces. We looked at each other and just smiled. Somehow, this action just calmed me down and I felt content,I felt right and just happy. I can't remember the last time I smiled and actually meant it. 

"Where were you guys?" I asked, turning away from Ashton reluctantly and facing Luke and Christina, who looked sheepish. 

"We went out to eat." Luke coughed. 

"You definitely ate out." I snarked with a wink, making everybody burst out laughing while Luke blushed fiercely. 

"Ladies and gentlemen," A voice boomed, echoing around the banquet hall before Luke could retort. We gathered around Mr Robertson who was in the middle of the dance floor. I walked with Christina, leaving the two boys who trailed behind us. "Thank you all for being here today. I have been so lucky as to..." Mr Robertson was starting to give a speech but I couldn't concentrate on that; all I could concentrate on was the spark and electricity running through my veins from the back of Ashton's hand brushing against mine, almost as if he was testing the waters. I glanced up quickly and saw that Ashton was standing beside me, a small smile forming on his face as he 'listened' to the speech that Mr Robertson was giving. Deciding that two could play at this game, I linked my pinky with his, toying with it as I faked listening to the speech that I was sure was given at least a thousand times before. He froze at my abrupt action but quickly recovered as his long fingers intertwined with my own, thumb rubbing against my skin. It felt childish what we were doing, I mean come on! We were dates after all, we came here together and we're probably going to go home together. But for some reason, this felt right. The childishness, the comfort, the being together in general. 

"So as per tradition," Mr Robertson said, his voice booming with enthusiasm, "My daughter, Brittany and I, will start off the dance." Mr Robertson had the biggest smile on his face as he took Brittany's hand in his. The crowd moved away from the dance floor to allow the father-daughter duo to dance peacefully. Brittany looked....beautiful. Her hair was straightened and flowed beautifully down her back. She was wearing a floor length black bodycon dress that had cut-outs by her waist.

She was laughing and smiling while dancing with her father while Elvis Presley was playing in the background. They were happy and they looked it. I might call her Bimbo Bitch a lot and let's be honest, I do it shit loads, but she wasn't a bad person... She's just like me. The only difference being that she's a daddy's girl. Seeing them dance together just reminded me of something I would never have...Sensing my discomfort, Ashton squeezed my hand which made me look at him. He shot me a reassuring smile and toyed with my fingers knowing that it kept me calm. He untangled our fingers and wrapped his hand around my waist, pulling me into his body and kissing my forehead. I rested my head on his chest, smiling while watching Brittany and her father slow dance while laughing to the music. Once the song was over, they bowed to the sounds of the crowd's roaring applause, ours included. People started filling up the dance floor, dancing to the music. Christina and I ended up by the food table, laughing while the boys were off by the bar, probably nursing their drinks. 

"Baby," We heard Luke say, as he came up behind Christina, snaking his hand around her waist. She hummed in response, a smile on her face. "Dance with me?" He asked, dragging her to the dance floor before she could reply. I watched them as they swayed to the beat, without a care in the world and I thought about how lucky they are to have their best friend as their significant other. 

"You wouldn't maybe...uh..you know..uh...dance...with me?" Ashton said, appearing out of nowhere, blocking my view of the dance floor. 

"Is Mr Ashton Irwin nervous?" I teased. 

"If it means having a 50 percent chance of being rejected by the most beautiful girl here, then yes, I am nervous." 

"Ask me again," I said, ruffling my hair and standing more regally, "More confidently, please." 

"Would you, Danielle Walker, do me, Ashton Irwin, the utmost pleasure of joining me on the dance floor?" 

"I thought you'd never ask." I said, intertwining our fingers together, letting Ashton lead the way to the dance floor. He stood in front of me, one hand on my waist and the other, intertwined with mine. 

The soft purple light cast a glow over us as we moved to the slow flow of the song playing in the background. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, given that the only experience I have with dancing was at clubs and parties; slow dances aren't my thing. I tried hard to concentrate on my footing, careful not to step on my dress, on Ashton's feet, and definitely doing everything in my power not to fall or trip. 

"You're doing wonderfully, love." Ashton whispered, pulling me closer to his body, making a soft gasp escape my lips, "Trust me." He said, dipping me to the floor. 

"I trust you." I whispered as he dipped me, his breath fanning over my face, lips ghosting over mine. My chest was heaving, brain running at a million miles per hour, trying to guess Ashton's next move. We must've been in this position for hours. It definitely wasn't hours but hell it felt like it. his eyes were sparkling, looking intensely into mine while mine were flickering from his eyes, to his dimples, to his soft lips. He pulled me up, much to my dismay, but glided his hand from my wrist, to my forearm, down to my waist and pulled me closer, both hands on my waist now. I snaked my arms around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair causing a content sigh to escape his lips before being replaced by a grin. He pulled me flush against his chest and I tightened my grip on his neck, smiling at the gesture. His eyes were flickering between my eyes and lips and I gave him a small nod, hoping that he would lean down and kiss me - show me that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. He leaned down and my eyes fluttered shut as I waited-

"May I cut in?"

"Dylan." I breathed in surprise.My eyes flickered to Ashton who had fire in his eyes but a small smile on his face as he looked at the person who interrupted us. Ashton looked at me and pulled away, reluctantly placing my hand in Dylan's outstretched one and moving away from us. My eyes followed him, but my arms were around Dylan's neck, his hands on my waist. There was no spark, no electricity running through my veins like there was with- No! I cannot keep doing this to Dylan! It isn't fair to keep comparing him to Ashton. Speaking of Ashton, he was at the bar, grabbing a glass of alcohol and sipping on the liquid. 

Dylan and I danced in silence for about a minute. We twirled around the dancefloor, my eyes searching for Ashton at each turn, hoping to maybe catch a smile, maybe even a glimpse at what he was doing. 

"So," Dylan said, twirling us once again, "I didn't get that call of yours..." 

"What?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion before I remembered that I told him I would call after our date..."Oh! Right! I am so sorry, Dylan. It just has been a crazy couple of days, it totally slipped my mind." 

"It's Ashton isn't it?" He asked, ignoring my excuses. 

"Huh? No. We're friends. Just friends." 

"Friends don't dance the way you just did. Friends don't look at each other the way you do. Friends don't only talk about their 'friend' on a date." Dylan said, "You're not just friends, Danielle." 

"Dylan-" 

"Dani," He sighed, pulling me closer, "I see the way you and your friend look at each other. It's not just friendship and it certainly isn't something I want to come in between." 

"Ashton-" I started to explain but got cut off. 

"Is looking at me like he wants to throw a glass at my face." Dylan said, twirling me around so that I could look at Ashton - Dylan was right. Ashton's jaw was clenched, eyes were on fire and his hand was clutching his glass so hard that it looked like it was about to break. I gasped at the sight and looked back at Dylan who had a smug look on his face. 

"He's just...I mean.." 

"The word you're looking for is jealous." 

"Dylan, he's not-" 

"Look Dani," Dylan said, pulling me closer to him, "We went out on a date and it didn't work. So what? At least we each got a friend out of it." 

"You're an amazing guy," I said, pulling away and kissing his cheek. 

"So I've been told." 

"May I cut in?" Ashton asked, taking my hand from Dylan's and subtly pulling me closer to him. Dylan shot me a knowing look before nodding, kissing my cheek and walking away. I smiled to myself, thinking about what Dylan said, not realising that Ashton was staring at me the whole time. 

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?" Ashton asked. 

"I thought you'd never ask." 


	16. Chapter 16

"Where are we going, Ash? We've been driving forever!" I whined, throwing my head back onto the headrest and sighing. 

"You're not a patient person, are you?" Ashton chuckled, turning the steering wheel.

"You've known me for about a week now," I teased, "What do you think?"

"I think, you could use a few classes on that," He teased, shooting me a cocky smirk, "Want me to help?"

"Nah. I'll just ask Dylan." I retorted with an exaggerated smirk, hoping to get a reaction from it. My plan worked as immediately as those words left my mouth, his smirk fell into a hard purse and his knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. I giggled and tried to hide it by placing my hand on my mouth and looking out the window.

"What?" Ashton asked, glancing at me again. "Why are you laughing?"

"You're just so jealous of Dylan. It's cute."

"I am not jealous of Dylan!" He defended, knuckles paling once again.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to lie?"

"I'm about as jealous of Dylan as you are of Brittany." He scoffed.

"I am not jealous of that plastic Bimbo Bitch!"  

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to lie?" He repeated in a high pitched girly voice. 

"Okay first of all, I do not sound like that! Secondly, rude! Thirdly, I am not, nor will I ever be jealous of that-that...thing." 

"Sure, Dani." 

"Not jealous of her." I muttered under my breath, fiddling with the radio. 

"The radio doesn't work here." Ashton informed, chuckling. 

"Oh my god! Where even are we?" 

"Patience, little one." He teased with a giggle, eyes never leaving the road. I sighed and leaned back into the seat before a thought suddenly hit me, causing me to gasp.

"Holy shit! You're going to kill me!"

"What are-"

"It's the perfect crime." I said in sudden realisation, sitting straight and looking at him from the passenger's seat of the car, "The radio doesn't mean which means that neither do the phones. Almost everybody is at the party and people were bound to see us together and dancing so you have an alibi. Luke would probably back you up for that too. Nobody cared enough to see us walking out together so they wouldn't know that we left together. God knows where we are, so you could probably dump my body here and they would never find it."

"First of all, how did you come up with all of that in the span of 60 seconds?! Secondly, I wouldn't murder you like this. Give me some credit!"

"How would you murder me then?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well...For tonight I-"

"For tonight?!" I screamed, "Have you thought about ways to murder me more than once?!"

"Shut up and listen to my plan." He chuckled, "Well, I would ask you if you wanted to come out with me and we would go for a walk. I would hire someone to put up a fight with me and beat me up a little so it would look as if I was trying to protect you. Then he would kidnap you and take you away while I would call for help. Obviously I would call once he was gone. I would act sad and all that shit. Long story short, I would kill you myself after he takes you to some secluded place and I would look like a torn up date while you would be dead."

"What about the guy you hire?"

"He would flee town, obviously." He answered with a shrug.

"That's actually a pretty brilliant plan." I complimented, "However there is a flaw."

"Which is...?"

"Your plan is based on the assumption is based on the fact that there wouldn't be other people on the streets and that I wouldn't put up a fight either."

"Are you really attempting to perfect your own murder?" He asked, eyeing me with a look of amusement as he turned the engine of the car off. 

"If you're going to do it, might as well do it right." I answered with a shrug. 

"Okay weirdo." He chuckled, getting out of the car and opened the door for me. Once I got out, he handed me a bandana. 

"Is this some kind of kink that I'm meant to play along with?" 

"It's a blindfold." He sighed.

"Cliche, but I love it." I teased, closing my eyes and turning around so my back was facing him and allowing him to put it on me. He put the fabric over my eyes and tied it tight enough where it would hold but not tight enough to crush my head. 

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his hands gliding down to my shoulders and further to my forearms. His lips were near my ear and his warm breath sent a shudder through my body. I nodded slowly before he spun me around and pulled me close to his body. I pulled away and bent down so I could take my shoes off. "What are you doing?" He asked, helping me steady myself as I was blindfolded. 

"I’m assuming we have to walk, and I can't do that very well in heels. Especially if it's rocky." I explained, holding out my heels to him so that he could put them in the car. 

"Who said anything about walking?" He said and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice . Suddenly I was in the air and I squealed. 

"Ashton!" I protested, kicking my feet. 

"Shhh," He said, his breath fanning over my face, his lips so close to mine. My heart started beating fast, my breath getting heavier, my chest heaving. "I got you, princess." 

"What are you doing?" I asked, voice just over a whisper. 

"Isn't it obvious? I'm carrying you." 

"Yes, but why?" 

"Well, you're blindfolded for one, so you obviously can't see the pathway-"

"Yeah but if you lead me, then I can-" I interrupted

"Shhh." He said, shifting me so that he can carry me properly. One hand was under my butt and the other was just below my shoulders. "Just go with it, will you? I don't want you to ruin your amazing dress either." 

"Fine." I huffed, causing him to chuckle at my childishness. "Carry away." I declared, stretching my arms and leaning back in his, enjoying the free ride. Ashton giggled once again and started walking. I was curious as to see where he was taking me. I could hear the wind blowing and leaves rustling from him walking. I was surprised that Ashton wasn't huffing or puffing even with my added weight on him. How fit was he exactly? Oh right, very. He has the abs to prove it; I can vouch for that.

"Ready?" He said after a few more minutes of walking. He set me down on my feet and I jumped at the sudden coldness of the ground. He put his hands on my shoulders, turning me at an angle before slowly untying the bandana. "Open your eyes." He whispered, his hands once again finding my shoulders. I opened my eyes and was immediately met with the view of the whole city. The lights of the buildings acting like stars, the cars driving making it seem like they were shooting stars. It was as if the sky had fallen and it was in the form of the city. From where we were standing, there weren't many lights so we could actually see the stars above and the moonlight casting a soft glow on the whole city. 

The view was breathtaking. I was in complete awe. 

"So.." Ashton started nervously, "Do you like it?" 

"Ashton..." I breathed, "It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." 

"Really?" He said, smiling that famous dimpled smile, "It's the second most beautiful thing for me." 

"What's your first?" I asked looking at him and then back at the scenery, "You have to show me! I swear you know the most beautiful places." 

"Well, I actually have a picture." He said taking out his phone and unlocking it, "Want to see?" I nodded my head, looking at the lights and cars whizzing by as Ashton tried to look for the picture. I still couldn't believe that I was standing on the edge of a cliff looking at the city. I could just imagine how many different lives people were living and how different their life is to mine; some of them happier, other's not so. There were about fifty people on the road, give or take, and they were all whizzing by one another, too busy in their own rat race to stop and smell the roses. We are all like that - too consumed in our own life to stop and take a breath, to stop and take a step back and see how far we've come and how far we still have to go. 

"Here," Ashton said, snapping me out of my thoughts and showing me the picture. 

"Really, Ash?" I said with a laugh. The picture that Ashton was showing me was a picture of me a couple of days ago that Christina took. I instagrammed it. 

"You said to show you the most beautiful thing that I've seen; so I did." 

"Dimples and cliche's." I stated, "Is that always the technique you use to get girls?" 

"Only the pretty ones." He shot back with a smirk. 

"Mr. Irwin, are you flirting with me?" 

"Only if you want me to." He said causing both of us to laugh. He sat down on the edge of the cliff, letting his legs dangle from the edge. He then looked back at me and patted the spot next to him. I hitched up my floor length gown to about an inch above the knee and tied it with its own material before mimicking him and letting my feet dangle over the edge too. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before he shattered the silence.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just how everyone is so busy with the rat race to stop and take a breath every once in a while." I sighed, "You?" 

"How lucky I am to be with the most beautiful girl in the world." 

"You don't stop, do you?" I asked with a giggle, shaking my head at his cliche. He smiled back at me, looking at my hand that was resting next to his and back at me. I shook my head and interlaced our fingers, looking back at the scenery that was vying for my attention. 

"Can I ask you something, Ash?" 

"Go for it, love." 

"How did you find this place?" I asked, looking around at the city, the trees, the birds flying overhead, at the rocks that were being illuminated by the moonlight and back at him, curiosity filling my eyes. 

"Funny story actually," He said, using his free hand to scratch the back of his neck while he avoided eye contact. 

"Okay, now you have to tell me!" I said enthusiastically while squeezing his hand and looking at him. 

"Well, I was supposed to meet Luke for a hike one day, but I missed the turn off the intersection because I was jamming too hard to this one song. I guess I didn't realise it because well, I came here and there was no labeled path like Luke told me there would be. I ignored it because, well, I was an idiotic teenager who didn't care about consequences. I just kept walking and hiking and climbing and well, then I stumbled across this and didn't want to leave." 

"What song were you jamming to?" I asked and he blushed furiously and mumbled something. "Sorry, didn't catch that. Say it again." I teased further. 

"Lose yourself by Eminem!" He screamed, looking away while scratching the back of his neck. I doubled over in laughter at his embarrassment while looking at him. 

"Man! You are just too cool for school, aren't you?" I teased. 

"Hey! Shut up!" He retorted, laughing at my reaction, "Be grateful that I was such a cool kid, if not you would've never been able to see this amazing view." 

"It really is beautiful though, isn't it?" I said, looking at the breathtaking view again. 

"You really are." He said, voice just above a whisper. I didn't comment because I didn't think I was meant to hear it in the first place. His voice was so soft, I wasn't even sure if he said that or I was just imagining him say that. Regardless, I just smiled. 

“Does anyone else know about this place?” I asked, leaning back on my palms.

“No one that I know of.” He answered with a shrug.

“Really?” I asked, surprised, “You’ve never brought anyone here?”

“You’re the only one.” He said with a smile and for some reason that made me feel special. A small smile fell on my lips and I turned back to the bustling city.

A cool gust of wind blew over us, trapping us in a cold vortex. As amazing and beautiful as this dress was, it only provided beauty and very little fabric, hence making me cold as shit! I shivered slightly, running my hands up and down my forearms, in hopes of warming myself. Now as cliche as this sounds, Ashton noticed my actions and shrugged off his coat and held it open so that I could put my hands in. 

"I-I'm f-fine." I chattered, mentally slapping myself for being so cold and not being able to prove my point. 

"I'm feeling warm, so just hold it for me for a bit." He teased, to humour me. I looked over gratefully at him and nodded. 

"O-only to he-help a fri-friend." I said, quickly putting his black blazer on and sighing in relief at the warmth it brought me.

"Will you do something else for this friend of yours?" He asked nervously, instantly spiking my curiosity once again. I nodded and he stood up, holding out his hand for me to take. I looked at it skeptically but took it anyways. "Pick a song." He breathed, fumbling with his phone once I stood up. 

"Screaming Blood by Sum 41." I blurted. 

"Really? That's the first song that popped in your head? At a time like this?" 

"Don't judge! You asked and I picked the first thing that I knew." I defended, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Fine, fine. Let me rephrase," He said, chuckling slightly, "Pick a slow song." 

"I'll be by Edward McCain." I suggested, shrugging my shoulders. 

"Perfect!" He mumbled, focusing on his phone before turning up the volume and setting it in his front pocket. After a few seconds, music starting blasting from it and I recognised the notes as the song that I just picked. 

"I thought we didn't get reception up here." 

"We don't." He answered with a smile, "I'm just lucky that we kind of have the same music taste." We stood around for a couple of seconds before I spoke. 

"Ashton, is there a reason you wanted me to stand and to choose a song?" 

"Oh right!" He said, causing me to giggle. He was adorable, really. "May I have this dance?" 

"You're an idiot." I said, shaking my head and placing my hand in his outstretched one. He intertwined our fingers and pulled me closer. He guided my hands behind his neck while his rested on my waist. 

"And I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be loves suicide." He sang softly, resting his forehead on mine, twirling us to the beat of the music. There was no one here to judge, no one here to interrupt us - it was just the music, the bustling city and us. 

"And I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life." I sang with him, softly playing with his blonde hair, leaning against his forehead, fluttering my eyes shut. I enjoyed the feeling of just us, moving in sync, together.  I opened my eyes and looked up at him and I saw him looking back at me. 

"What is it?" I asked.

"What?" He replied with a smile. A real, genuine boy smile. You know, the one where they're happy and not pretending to be something they're not. The private smile only certain people get to experience.

"You're looking at me funny."

"I am not." He defended; smile growing.

"Stop it!" I teased, laughing.

"I can't help it!" He laughed with me, "You're beautiful." He complimented, causing heat to rush to my cheeks. The song was playing softly in the background as we continued to sway side by side, him looking at me and me, well, I was savouring this moment. He leaned down, just as the song ended, tilting his head slightly and his eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and back, looking for permission. I moved my hand to his chest, and with one hand I pulled him closer by his black tie and smashed my lips onto his. He froze for a second, trying to comprehend what was happening before smiling and pulling me flush to him using his jacket. I smiled and tilted my head so that we could deepen the kiss. Our lips moved in sync, the only sounds being heard were our breaths. My hand was playing with his tie while the other was fisting his shirt. His hands were on my waist, rubbing small circles, eyes scrunched shut. We pulled away, our breaths laboured, smiles on our faces. 

"I did tell you that my ultimate weakness are button down shirts and narrow black ties, right?" 

"No you did not." He said with a laboured chuckle, "But I definitely will keep that in mind." 

"You do that." I teased, pulling him closer by his tie again, placing a quick kiss on his lips and twirling the tie around my hand. 

"I might just have to steal all the ties and button down shirts from every boy if it gets you acting like this." 

"I think I can muster enough self control around them." I teased back. 

"Oh, so it's just me then?" He said teasingly, cocking his eyebrow. 

"You and maybe Dylan." I retorted, knowing that it got him jealous. My instincts were right as his hands tightened on my waist before puling me into him and placing his lips passionately against mine. 

"Well," He said, pulling away before kissing me again, "I don't see him here with you, kissing you." 

"Oh, we're going to do that when I go home." 

"Guess I have to keep you here with me forever then." He said, pulling me next to him as he sat down on the edge of the cliff. 

"I wouldn't mind that one bit." I confessed in a whisper. 

"Careful Walker, your emotions are starting to show." Ashton teased, nudging me with his shoulder. 

"I was talking about the view."  

"So was I." He said, not taking his eyes off me, smiling from ear to ear. I shook my head, placing my attention back on the city that never sleeps. The lights kept whizzing by and I wasn't getting tired of looking at it. Who could, with a view this beautiful. 

"Go out with me." Ashton blurted, causing me to look at him in shock.

"What?" 

"Go out with me," He repeated, "On a date." 

"Like you and me, alone?" 

"Yeah." 

"Like a date, date?" 

"What's wrong with that?" He asked nervously. 

"I just thought....I mean..." 

"What's so different about a date and what we're doing right now?" 

"Well, for starters, there would be food..." I said, attempting to make a joke to lighten the situation but Ashton was having none of it, which made me sigh. 

"Really, Dani. Would it be so bad to go on a date with me?" 

"Ashton...Look, I mean..." I stuttered, trying to align my thoughts, but failing. 

"Forget it." He muttered, shifting away from me slightly and looking back at the city that had slowed down. Lights were turning off, fewer cars were on the road, it was silent. Nothing but the wind and our breaths could be heard. 

"Ash, just let me explain, please." I said after minutes of uncomfortable and painful silence. 

"Explain then." He said, eyes still trained on everything but me. 

"You know I'm only here for the summer right? That means I'm only going to be here for about a month, give or take, before I go back. I've loved every second here and that includes spending time with you too. But Ash, whatever this is," I said gesturing between the two of us, "It can't...I mean-" 

"It's just a date, Dani." He said softly, "I'm not asking you to marry me."

We settled in silence again, Ashton shifting toward me, intertwining our fingers together. I sighed and leaned into him. 

"Okay." I said, looking up at him. 

"What?" 

"Okay, I'll go on a date with you."

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Do you know what I don't understand? How in movies, books, fanfictions and all that shit, when someone gets out of bed, they make it seem as if it’s pretty. Like, have they actually seen someone get out of bed?! It's the most unattractive thing ever! Well, for me at least. I look and sound like someone was getting exorcised! With the stretching, grunting, eyes being lidded and shut together by that eye gunk. It's disgusting, honestly. But no, the movies, books etc etc make it seem magical. With the light filtering through the window and the protagonist waking up like she's in a fairytale. Her stretches graceful, yawns covered, eyes being rubbed with her fingers - she wakes up with a smile. Honestly, you would think that the people writing this has never woken up from sleep themselves. 

And that's what I thought the second I woke up today. One would think that I would wake up with a smile, wake up with thoughts of last night's events and Ashton on my mind, but I didn't. I woke up slightly grumpy from the lack of coffee in my system. I dragged myselfout of my room, yawning and rubbing my eye with the back of my finger. I got out the coffee and started to make coffee. I find the whole making of coffee or green tea ('cause all other teas suck) quite cathartic. I leaned back onto the counter, waiting for the coffee machine to do its thing while I try my best to wake up. What time is it anyway? 

"Mornin' sweetie," I hear from the left of the room. I lift my heavy head and see my father walking out of his room with a mug in his hand. I nod at him knowing that this conversation will somehow lead to a fight and I am not even remotely awake enough for that. All our conversations end in a fight and I am so sick and tired of it. "You came home awfully late last night? Or should I say this morning...." 

"Were you even here last night?" I snap, and then sigh, knowing that the fight had already started. I shook my head before he could reply and watched the coffee machine work its magic. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked rhetorically, "Of course I was here. This is my house-" 

"Is it though?" I say with a scoff. 

"Of course it is! I live here and you and your brother do too-" 

"Don't!" I snap. "Don't even try to say that. You and I know very well that we're only here because mom wanted to us to spend 'quality family time' together. Obviously she only said that so that Bryan and her could plan their wedding in peace. I don't want to be here and frankly neither do you. When was the last time you spent the day with me? At all?! Better yet, when was the last time you had a nice father-son day with Nathan?!" 

"Dani-" 

"Stop trying to justify yourself! I am so sick and tired of you and your fake attempts at an excuse. If you just ask, even once to spend the day with me, maybe even try and explain yourself you know I would drop everything to hear you out. I'm not some bratty teenage girl who is mad and snobby and heartless. I'm a daughter who grew up without her father-" 

"I'm your father and I'm right here-" 

"No you're not!" I screamed, slamming my hand down on the counter, "You're a dad but you're not a parent! You haven't been since the day you walked out on us to go on your so-called business trip! So don't try and convince yourself otherwise." 

"Danielle, please-" 

"I'm done with this conversation and I'm done with you." I said storming out of the kitchen, ignoring both the dinging of the coffee machine and the screams of my name by my father. I slammed the door of the room shut and locked it before walking to the closet and grabbing the first thing my hand touched, which happened to be a dress. I put it on, throwing my sleeping clothes to the side and pulling my hair into a messy ponytail. One look at the mirror and I was already mentally thanking Christina for curling my wavy hair yesterday, giving the messy ponytail some volume and making it look good when no effort was put in. I saw the dress I wore yesterday and grabbed it, stuffing it in my bag to return it to Miss Wan.

I walked out of the house and made a beeline for the front door, slamming it on my way out. I walked a couple of blocks, to clear my head before I saw a familiar face. 

"Reign!" I called out, waving my hand to grab her attention. She turned around, her hair whipping in the direction of the wind. She pursed her mouth, gripping her phone tighter in her hand. I lightly jogged to catch up to where she was. "Hey Reign!" I exclaimed, smiling at her. She didn’t reply, only nodding her head at me. "Is everything okay?" I asked, cocking my head in confusion.

"I don't know," She said, scoffing, "You tell me." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked cautiously. 

"Liam's not here." Was all she said. 

"Uhh, okay?" 

"I know about your plans to get with Liam." 

"What are you talking about?"  I asked, more confused than ever. 

"Don't play dumb, Danielle." She spat, rolling her eyes, "I saw you the other day." 

"I literally have no idea what you're talking about." I said, putting my hands up in defense, "I've only seen Liam like once since I've been here, and that too with you." 

"Oh please!" She scoffed, "I saw you flirting and putting your hands all over him at the bonfire I invited you too. Like honestly, you would think that on the first day you would want to make a good impression-" 

"Woah, woah, woah!" I interrupted, "I wasn't flirting with Liam, Reign. Honestly, I would never. Firstly, he's not even my type-" 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"That your 'boyfriend' is a total creep!" I said, throwing my hands up, "He came onto me! And as cliché as that sounds, and trust me, I hate cliché’s; it's true. He ran his hand up my leg and would've done more had I not stopped him. I'm not surprised if he's cheating on you, to be honest. He's a douche and a major creep." 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She seethed, eyes flaming with rage.

"I'm a girl who cares for her friend." I retorted, standing my ground, "I have enough self respect to tell you that you can do so much better than some dick who doesn't treat you right-" 

"You have no idea how he treats me!" She interrupted, poking her finger into my shoulder. 

"Don't I?! I can already tell that he doesn't give you the time of the day, neither does he tell you how beautiful you look everyday." I say, pushing her hand off my shoulder. "God dammit, Reign! You deserve so much better than some douche who flirts and hits on other girls right in front of you! You deserve someone who will treat you like a god damn Queen! After all, you do have a name fit for one." 

"You've been here for a week, Dani! Don't act like you know bloody everything!" Reign says, after a minute of tension and silence, before turning her back and storming off, leaving me standing there alone. I sigh, shake my head and hail a taxi, telling him the address of Miss Wan's shop that Christina texted me. 

Once I had reached and paid the cab driver, I walked into the shop. I looked around, calling out for Miss Wan who was nowhere to be found. I browsed the rack, waiting for someone to come out, getting particularly fond of a black laced, floor length gown. I ran my fingers over the material when I was suddenly shocked by a presence behind me. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" 

"Holy crap!" I screamed, jumping while clutching the material for dear life. 

"I'm sorry for scaring you, sweetheart." Miss Wan apologised, a smile gracing her face at the amusement of the situation. 

"That's quite alright, Miss Wan." I say, rummaging through my bag to take the dress out, "I actually just came back here to return the dress I wore yesterday. I washed it, so you don't have to-" 

"Do you believe in legends, my child?" She asked, interrupting me. 

"I guess?" I said, more of a question than an answer. I had no idea what was going on, but then again, do I ever? 

"Do you want to hear one?" She asked, voice turning slightly mischievous. 

"Sure, why not." I said and sat down on the chair adjacent to her chair near the cashier's desk. 

"Legend has it that there was a town here once; a small town called Cirbave. The townspeople weren't rich, neither were they poor. They were content, happy with what they had. One day, news of a lady spread throughout the town. She had visited several towns before and things happened, people were richer, fatter, better. It was said that this lady had powers, powers to compel and make extraordinary things happen-" 

"Like a witch?" I interrupted, getting immersed into the story. 

"Like a witch." Miss Wan repeated, nodding her head, a small smile creeping onto her face. 

"What happened next?" 

"The lady came to the town of Cirbave and she wasn't happy. People were trying too hard to impress her. Families were being too nice, too fake, too happy; there wasn't anyone who was being real anymore. People were putting on a show for her, putting on a show just so she would use her powers on them. Well every family but one. One day, she went by the pier, near the lighthouse and was about to flee the town, but just as she was leaving, she tripped and fell. Next thing she knew, she was in a house, and being taken care of a lady she had never seen before. ' _Are you from the town of Cirbave?'_ She asked the lady. The lady said that she was and she had been cooped up in her house the whole time trying to make a living. She was aspiring to be a designer, or well in those days a tailor. The witch reached for the hem of her robe and started to rip a piece off. The more the ripped, the more the fabric regenerated itself and in the end the lady ended up with meters and meters of fabric, enough to cover the whole town with just the fabric. ' _What am I supposed to do with this?'_ The lady asked the witch to which the witch replied that she had put a spell on this fabric." 

"A spell? Really?" I asked, now completely immersed in this story. Miss Wan nodded and continued the story. 

"A spell that gives happiness. One where whoever possessed the fabric, would be happy. Now news of this spread throughout the town and the lady kept getting bombarded with enquiries and requests to make clothes out of that fabric. People from near and far would flock the shop just to get a glimpse of the fabric. The lady was shocked, overwhelmed and frankly, a little scared. So she made a dress and kept it locked up, along with the leftover fabric. She told everyone that the fabric had been stolen and she was going out of town. That day, the lady wore the dress that she had made and went out, just to test if the spell was real and by the end of the night, she met a guy and fell in love. Generations had passed and the fabric would always be passed down to the oldest girl in the family, and with every person it had been passed down to, they always seemed to find their true happiness by the end of the night." 

"Do you believe this legend, Miss Wan?" I asked, chin now resting in the palm of my hand. 

"A wise man once said that legends and myths are made of truth." Miss Wan said with a knowing smile. 

"There's something you're not telling me about this story..." I said, trailing off. 

"There is." She said with a smile. 

"This story isn't a legend is it?" 

"Well child, like I said, legends are made of the truth." 

"This happened in your family, didn't it?" I asked again, earning a nod from her, "And the fabric...?" 

"Like I said, there was meters and meters of fabric, and all it takes is a little piece of it to bring out the legend and the 'spell' that the witch put." 

"Why did you give me the dress then?" 

"Like I said yesterday, I was saving it for someone special and when I saw you, I just knew..." 

"But Miss Wan..." I said, trailing off, not being able to formulate words at the shock that washed over me. 

"Well, did something happen yesterday?" She asked, standing up from her chair, folding the dress, "Did you find true happiness?" 

True happiness? What did that even entail? I’m pretty sure true happiness, just like true love only exists in fairytales. This stuff can’t be real. It is only a legend; a story.

"Well...?" She asked again, a small smile on her lips. 

"I..I don't know." Was all I said, suddenly finding the crack in the marble floor interesting. 

"Can I give you some advice, child?" She requested, walking toward me and placing her palm on my cheek, lightly stroking it, like a mother to a child. I nodded, leaning my cheek into her rough palm. "Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Every single thing that has happened in your life was meant to happen. Don't blame anyone or anything for what has happened. Good days will give you happiness; bad days - experience and truly terrible days will give you a lesson. And the same goes for people." 

"Sometimes, people need to be blamed." I said, flinching slightly at the memories of my mom crying, Nathan asking why we weren't a family anymore...Me having to play my instruments all alone, without my father. He broke us. 

"Don't blame people, Dani. Give them a chance."

"What if they don't deserve second chances? What if they can't fix what they broke?" I asked, voice quivering slightly. 

"Second chances are not given to make things right, my child. They're given to prove that even after we fall, things can be better again, that people can be better." 

I nodded, not knowing what to say and hugged her, tight. She smiled and rubbed my back, comforting me. I don't know why I opened up to her. Even if I did so vaguely, I still did. And she, well, she knew all the right things to say to my vague questions. Maybe she really did have magic in her. 

~~~ 

I shrugged the blue lace dress on and inspected myself in the mirror. It didn't look right...Something's missing. I bit my lip and tried to perfect the look...

Why am I trying so hard? It's just a date...with Ashton. Why are my palms sweaty? Why is my heart beating fast? What is wrong with me? 

I looked around the room trying to find something to fix this mess of a dress and quickly spotted a thin black belt. Perfect! I ran to it and put it on, fixing it so that it was tight, showing off my curves. Why am I trying to show off my curves? What is wrong with me? I messed up my hair, and sprayed some hairspray in it so that the waves in my natural hair would stay and put on some earrings and my favourite black pumps. 

[I stood in front of the mirror ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_122/set?id=184999337)again, letting out a breath of relief that I didn't know I was holding in. I look presentable, right? I mean I looked like I was going on a date. Where were we going? Was I dressed for the occasion? Oh my god, what if we were going to a meadow or something - I'm not dressed for that! What if we- 

_*Ding Dong*_

Holy shit! He's here! Crap! What am I going to do? Should I change? Why am I freaking out?! Crap, crap, crap, shit, shit, shit! 

"Dani!" I heard Nathan shout from outside my room. 

Breathe, Dani. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Why am I freaking out? What is wrong with me? It's just Ashton. We did this yesterday too. Not a date, but hang out together...alone. 

"Dani!" Nathan shouted again and I could hear Ashton laugh. Crap! What if he was laughing at me?! What if he saw me and started laughing at how ridiculous I looked! I heard the door of my room open and Nathan walked in. 

"Dani! Ashton is here." He said pointing at the door, "Are you okay, sis?" 

"What? Yeah. Totally. Fine. I. Am. Fine. Great even , people say-" 

"You're doing that thing where you talk really fast when you're nervous." He said nonchalantly, "Are you nervous?" 

"What? Me? Nervous? Why would I be nervous? I'm fine. F-I-N-E." I rambled, running my fingers through my hair and breathing fast. 

"Why are you nervous? Its just Ashton. You're friends, right?" 

"I'm going on a date with him." I said, biting my lip. 

"Okay..So?" Nathan, my eleven year old brother said, "You went on a date with that Dylan guy and you were fine. What's so different about Ashton?" 

My eleven year old brother was trying to calm me down my using common sense. Something I did not think of using. 

"You're right." I said, letting out a huge breath before opening the door of my room. I walked out and immediately my eyes were drawn to this six-foot tall boy who was standing in the middle of the living room, biting his lip awkwardly as he paced the floor, string of his dark denim jacket in hand. I giggled and my hand went to cover my mouth. He must've heard my giggle as his head snapped to look at me, and then - nothing. Not a word, or a gesture, just silence as he took in my appearance. 

"Are you like, checking me out?" I teased. His jaw was still slack but he nodded and I giggled. Then I visibly looked at him, up and down. He was wearing a white shirt and a dark denim jacket on top of it and jeans. But my eyes were fixated on the bundle of chocolates he held in his hand. I walked towards him and snapped my fingers in front of his face. "Ash!" I said while laughing. 

"What?" He said, shaking his head, "Oh right, yeah. So, uhm, this is for you." He said handing me the chocolates. 

"Thanks?" 

"It's just that, uhm, I gave you flowers before and like I was thinking, if I got you flowers again it would be lame and uhm," He said pausing, twiddling his thumbs nervously, "You can't eat flowers. I mean you can, it just won't taste nice. Unless you like flowers then-" 

"Ash!" I said giggling, again, "Thank you. I love it. White chocolate is my favourite." 

"I know." He said, smiling. 

"You do?" I said setting the chocolate down on the coffee table, looking up at Ashton again.

"You told me before, in my house. You also said that blue was your favourite colour. But I can see that." 

"What?" 

"You're wearing blue. You also wore blue yesterday." He said, smiling. 

"I can change-" I say pointing to my room. 

"No!" He screamed, reaching out to grab my hand, "I mean, you look gorgeous. You don't have to change. Unless you want to, I mean I could wait-" 

"Would you guys just leave already?! This is so awkward! You both are nervous and you both like each other!" Nathan screamed, coming in between us and pushing us towards the door, "Leave! Get on with it!" 

Both Ashton and I looked at each other and smiled awkwardly. 

"Shall we?" Ashton asked, holding out his arm for me to take. 

"We shall." I said, linking my arm in his and walking out the door that he held for me. We walked to his car, and he opened the door for me to get in. Once we were inside, we both looked at each other and laughed. 

"Were you really nervous?" He asked, once he started driving. 

"Pshttt, what? Me…nervous? No." I said quickly, running my fingers through my hair and looking out the window. 

"You're a terrible liar." He said with a scoff before laughing. 

"Oh, like you weren't nervous!" I retorted, looking at him. 

"I'm a man! We men never get nervous." 

"Then you better check your definition of being a man, Mr. Uhh Ahh, no it's fine,you uhh.." I said imitating him. 

"Better than Miss. I don't want to come out of my room because I'm scared." 

"Hey I did not come out of my room 'cause it takes time to look this good. Doesn't happen overnight you know." 

"Dressing up for me now, are we?" He said with a smirk, eyes darting to look at me before looking back at the road.

"Like you didn't dress up for me." I teased, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back into the seat. 

"I resent that." 

"You can't resent the truth." 

"You have no proof, Miss Walker." 

"Oh, don't I?" I challenged with a smirk, "You, Ashton Irwin, the boy who usually wears band tee's, sometimes with holes is dressed nicely. White t-shirt, with no visible holes, a dark denim jacket on top, which I'm presuming is new and some jeans that for once, are not skinny." 

"Well I-" 

"Oh, I'm not done." I said, smirk growing bigger, "Your converse is also new, as you can see from it not being worn." 

"Okay fine! I'll admit it if you admit it." He said in defeat. 

"What was that now?" I teased, hand over my ear, pretending that I couldn't hear him. 

"I'll admit I dressed up only if you admit it too." 

"I admit nothing!" I said stubbornly, smirk still gracing my face. 

"You're lucky we're here or this could've gone on forever, Sherlock Holmes." 

"Thought you were Sherlock Holmes this week." 

"No, no. I was Shakespeare, and then Holmes but now I'm Casanova."

"Do you know what a Casanova is, Ashton?" I said with a laugh. 

"A romantic guy who knows how to woo women?" He guessed, holding the door of the car open for me. 

"A man who is passionate about women and has many lovers." I said, trying my hardest to stifle a giggle. 

"Well...I mean," He said, with a cocky smirk on his face. 

"Gee, with talk like that how you even get women to talk to you is beyond me." 

"I got you, didn't I?" He said with a dimpled smile, reaching to take something out from his pocket. 

"It's the dimples and hair." I said, resisting the urge to run my fingers through his hair. 

"Okay, I need you to do something for me." He said nervously. 

"What is it?" 

"Turn around." He said, holding up the bandana to signal that he wanted to blindfold me. 

"Are you sure this isn't a kink? 'Cause I swear it's like every time I see you, you're dying to put that on me." I teased, still not turning around, "What are you going to do next? Spank me?" 

"Only if you ask nicely, babe." 

"Ash!" I said, lightly slapping his shoulder and laughing. "Can't I just walk with you, without the blindfold? Please." 

"So much for being romantic." He said with a scoff but tossed the blindfold in his car and took my hand in his. 

"You were romantic enough yesterday." I said, tightening my hand in his, "I have two legs and eyes of my own, you know." 

"And they're both beautiful." 

"That was terrible!" I said, laughing. "Where are we going, anyway?" 

"You're not a patient person, are you?" 

"Not even a little." 

"Did you like the view from the cliff yesterday?" He asked, walking us further onto the beach. 

"I still can't get over it." I gushed, the city lights illuminating my mind, never fading. 

"Then you're going to love this one." He boasted, proudly. I smiled and held onto his hand. Why I was holding on so tightly and cherishing the feeling of his rough, calloused fingers in between mine was beyond me. The silence was comfortable, with no noise between us or around us except the waves crashing on shore. I stopped walking. 

"Hey, everything okay?" Ashton asked, shocked by my sudden actions. 

"Close your eyes." I said, letting go of his hand and stretching mine out, shutting my eyes like I asked him to. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Trust me." I said, opening my eyes to look at him staring back at me like I was crazy. In the darkness, the only thing illuminating us was the soft glow that the moonlight provided us. "Trust me." I breathed again, looking at him with a smile on my face. Letting out a breath, he shut his eyes. 

"Now what?" He asked, with no heart in this. 

"Take a breath." I said, still looking at him. He took a fast breath and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Okay." He said, nonchalantly, opening his eyes, waiting for me to stop this.

"No Ash." I said, shaking my head in disappointment, "Close your eyes, take a breath and for a second, just one, forget about everything else. It's just you and the sea. The huge vast sea that's never ending." I said, following my words and doing just that. And for a moment, even just a fleeting one, I forgot everything - Ashton, Nathan, the problems with my dad, my mom and her upcoming wedding...everything. I opened my eyes and saw Ashton staring at me, a certain fondness in his eyes, but I must be imagining it....

Then he closed his eyes and outstretched his hands and took a slow deep breath. His features were soft, something I never realised before. He had long eyelashes...He really was Adonis. A modern version of Adonis. And even if he didn't show it, he needed a release, he needed someone, something to help him as well. Doesn't everyone, though?  And then he opened his eyes...and for that split second, I swear I got lost in his eyes. How could you not? They were beautiful. He is beautiful. 

"You never cease to amaze me, Danielle Walker." He said in a soft whisper, stepping closer to me. 

"We get so lost in our own lives, in trying to please everyone, that we forget that the world doesn't revolve around us." 

"Ready to continue the date?" He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. I smiled and nodded, walking side by side with him. We walked for a few more minutes, the cool wind surrounding us in a shroud, almost as if it was pushing us closer together somehow. There was a structure upcoming that we kept walking towards. 

"Ashton," I called out, softly and he turned towards me, a smile already on his face, "By any chance, are we going to the top of that lighthouse for the date?" 

"Yep!" 

"How did you..I mean, a lighthouse. Is that even legal?" I asked in amazement. 

"I have connections." He said with a cocky smirk. 

"You never cease to amaze me, Ashton Irwin." I mocked his statement from earlier.

"Come on." He said with a smile, taking his hand out of his pocket and outstretching it towards me. I looked at it and back at him, shaking my head but intertwining our fingers together. His smile only grew as he pulled me towards an entrance of the lighthouse.

"Oh hell no!" I said as we entered the enclosure.

"What's wrong?" He asked, the smile falling from his face.

"Do you really expect me, a teenage girl wearing a tight dress and four inch heels to-"

"Dani." He interrupted, holding up a finger.

"Let me finish-"

"But Dani-"

"Do you expect me to climb like," I said, lifting my head up to see how many flight of stairs there were, "Countless flights of stairs, wearing this!"

"Uhh, Dani."

"What Ashton?!" I screamed, frustrated. "Can't a girl finish a sentence around here?!"

"There's an elevator."

"Come again?"

"There's an elevator..." He said, pointing to the elevator that was behind me.

"Oh." I said, slightly embarrassed ...Well, majorly embarrassed, but let's not go into details of how my face changed from pale to bright red, or how my voice went high pitched or how Ashton tried so hard to stifle a laugh that his face went red. "So the elevator..." I said while clearing my throat and pressing the button for the elevator. 

"Did you really think I would make you walk all those stairs?" Ashton managed to get out, through his stifled laughter. 

"This is coming from the same person who wanted to blindfold me and bring me here." I retorted, teasingly. 

"Touchè." He said just as the elevator dinged, signaling that it had come to our floor. "Okay, I need you to do something for me now." He said, pulling me into the elevator and pressing the floor. 

"Close my eyes?" I asked.

"How did you-" 

"You wanted to blindfold me, I'm just rolling with your kinks." I teased, closing my eyes and leaning my head back onto the wall, "Next thing you know, you're asking to tie me up." 

"Get out of my head, weirdo!" He teased back with a laugh. The elevator dinged and Ashton pulled me out and made me stand somewhere. "Don't open them until I tell you to." He said, his voice getting further and further away. I could hear rustling and bustling, unsure of what was going on. I suddenly heard, from the far end of the room, the start to a song by Ed Sheeran but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I felt Ashton's hands on my shoulder and his hot breath fanning over my neck. "Open." 

My eyes fluttered open and immediately landed on a pink picnic blanket laid out beside a huge window, being held down by two plates and a spread of food in the middle. And in the centre of the blanket was a battery operated candle that gave out a soft glow and a long stem of a single Orchid. My eyes scanned the room and found that in the corner, a couple of feet away from the picnic was an iPod dock that was playing soft music in the background. But by far, the most adorable thing was that Ashton was now standing beside me, looking at my reaction. 

"This is amazing!" I gushed, taking in the scene once again. 

"Yeah?" He asked, biting his lip. God, I wanted to bite his soft, plump lip. 

"It's beautiful Ash," I said looking at him, "Thank you." 

"Don't thank me just yet, you might just get food poisoning after eating my food." He said with a nervous laugh, taking my hand and once again leading me to the place he wanted me to go - this time it was the picnic blanket. We sat down in front of the window, leaning back on the thick railings that barricaded the giant lightbulb. 

"How did you manage to get us in here?" I asked as Ashton took out drinks from the picnic basket. 

"Well," He said, handing me a glass of Ribena, "Calum's dad actually owns this lighthouse, so I asked if I could use it." 

"Calum's dad owns the lighthouse?" I asked, making him nod, "Aren't lighthouse's usually government property?" 

"Do you see that light over there?" Ashton asked, pointing to the horizon and the flickering light. I nodded, looking back at him, "That's the new lighthouse. That one is government owned. The people had an auction for this one and Calum's dad picked it up." 

"So," I said, leaning back and looking at Ashton, "Why here? Why not the beach or a restaurant or something?" 

"Well," He said, setting out the plates in front of both of us and taking out the foil wrapped food, "I know you so I know the restaurant would be a bad idea. I mean, look what happened to Dylan's date with you. The beach would've been great but I wanted to do something different. Plus, you liked the view yesterday so I thought, that the lighthouse would be better than the beach." 

"Hey! Dylan's date wasn't  _that_  bad." 

"Must've been bad. I mean, you came home and kissed me." He said with a laugh. 

"It's not as if I ran away from the date to come home and kiss you! You got jealous of Dylan and  _you_ kissed me!" 

"No, no. You definitely kissed me." He argued, putting the mini pizza's on our plates.

"If I were to kiss you, you would definitely remember it." I teased, taking a bite out of the mini pizza. "Wow, this is amazing." 

"Oh thank the lord!" He said in relief, laughing slightly. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Took me like ten tries to perfect that." 

"You could've ordered actual pizza." I laughed. 

"That would've been a smart smart idea." He said, biting into his pizza and leaning back. We sat in a comfortable silence, watching the moonlight illuminate the sea, bringing it to life. Every wave that crashed onto the shore, pulling back the sand into its grasp, its world, was brought to life. "Do you want to know another reason I brought you here?" Ashton asked, voice dropping to a soft, sultry whisper. 

"What?" I said, voice dropping just like his. 

"When the moonlight hits you, you just shine." He gushed, "You look gorgeous in sunlight, but the way you look in the moonlight is indescribable." 

"What movie did you get that line from?" I asked, using my hair to cover my blush, while nibbling on the slice of pizza. 

"It's called Smooth Ashton." He said, trying to make a joke, "I would say that you should check it out, but I can deliver the lines so much better with you here." 

"You think those lines actually work?" I teased, flipping my hair over my shoulder, glad that my blush at least subsided, making it look like make-up.

"Worked on you didn't it." He said with a wink, scooting closer to me. 

"I'm here for the mini pizza's and Ribena." 

"And here I thought you were here for the great company." 

"Guess more people must be coming then," I teased, dusting my hands of the crumbs. 

"You wound me, Danielle." He said, with a hand over his heart. "Come on, I want to show you something." Ashton said, getting up and offering me his hand. 

"Where are we going?" I ask after taking his hand and following him. He ignores my question and leads us to the other side of the room and down a flight of stairs before opening the door of the floor. He walks in, takes out his phone and uses it as a flashlight. 

"Come on." He says, intertwining our fingers together and pulling me into the room and out another door on the far end of the room. We walked out and was immediately greeted by a cold gust of wind that blew my hair all over my face. I giggle and pull it all away from my face, turning to face Ashton. He looks at me, smiles and reaches his hand over and pushes the hair to the back of my ear. For some reason, this made me blush. Maybe it was the intimate gesture, or maybe it was the way that he looked at me with fondness in his eyes. Those hazel eyes that at any moment just held so much emotion. Like right now, his eyes are just so filled with emotion it was impossible not to drown in them, they were intense but soft at the same time. 

"What?" I asked, still staring deep into his eyes. 

"Nothing." He said with a smile, neither of breaking away, his hand settling on my cheek. 

"You're looking at me again." 

"Again?" He asked, a cheeky smile forming on his face reaching up to his eyes and crinkling them - my favourite smile of his. 

"You looked at me like this yesterday too." I said, a blush forming on my face for reasons unknown to me. 

"Well, you're beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people." 

"Did you just quote Augustus Waters to me?" I said with a laugh, his hand dropping and intertwining with mine. 

"Damn! You caught that?" He said with feigned defeat.

"It's pretty cool huh," I said, breaking away from our 'moment'.

"What is?" He asked and I could still feel his stare on me. 

"How yesterday we were looking at the city, where people live and now we're looking at the ocean where fish live." I said, leaning on my hands which were gripping the cold railing of the balcony. 

"But yesterday you could see the lights, the movement, the houses, the life of the city. But here, its just the water." 

"It's not just water, it's what's in it that counts. Each wave rakes in something different. The moonlight when it hits the waves, makes it come to life." I looked at the ocean and back at him and practically melted at the way he looked at me. So much fondness, so much admiration ; it was so hard to believe that someone was actually looking at me like that. "And," I added, a cheeky smile forming on my lips, "Marlin, Nemo and Dory wouldn't like you very much for saying that." 

"Marlin, Nemo and Dory from Finding Nemo?" He asked with a giggle. 

"Yup!" I said furiously nodding, "Marlin and Nemo wouldn't like you. Dory would probably forget." I said giggling like a school girl. He joined in, shaking his head at my childishness, arm still snaked around my waist, rubbing circles. We stood there, my head resting on his chest, his head on mine as we watched the ocean. 

"Can I ask you something?" He mumbled.

"Go for it." I spoke confidently.

"Why don't you want this to happen?"

"This?" I asked, pulling away to look at him, "This is as in us?"

"Yeah." He said, looking slightly taken aback that I pulled away.

"Ashton..." I said quite helplessly, "It's just that I'm here-"

"Only for the next five weeks. Yes Dani, I am well aware of that. You keep reminding me every chance you get." He sighed exasperated. "I want an actual answer. Not the excuse."

"Please don't." I pleaded, "We were having a really good date." 

"Were?" 

"Till you asked me that and flipped out." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. 

"Fine. I'll ask you when we're not on our 'really good date'." He said, quoting me and trying to lighten the mood. We settled back into silence, both of us inching our way closer and closer to each other until I was back snuggled into his chest and he was placing kisses on the top of my head. This felt right; natural almost. It was as if we fit together perfectly, as stupidly cliche as it sounds. His strong, lean chest was the perfect pillow. "Come on," He said, reluctantly pulling away, "I've got dessert upstairs."

"You had dessert this whole time?" I asked shocked. 

"Yeah?" He said, almost as if a question. 

"You had dessert this whole time and you didn't tell me!" I practically screamed. 

"Yes?" He said, like he was scared. 

"I thought we were friends! How could you do this to me?!" I felt betrayed. He was standing between me and food! How important did he think he was? 

"It was either dessert or the view." 

"Why not both?!"

"...I did not think of that." He said, trailing off, looking like a child who just got admonished. 

"What dessert do you have?" 

"Red velvet cake and New York cheesecake." 

"And for yourself?" I teased. 

"Uhh, I thought we could share." 

"You thought wrongly." I said before darting out of the door and up the stairs as fast as I could in heels, leaving him in the dust. He quickly caught on to my plan, using his advantage of knowing the place, long legs and not wearing heels to catch up to me. I was on the landing when he pulled me back by my waist and lifted me off the ground, causing me to squeal. My back was facing him as he twirled me around, giggling while I squealed and started to laugh. He set me down and spun me around to face him. We were both breathing heavily. He snaked his arm around my waist, to my back and pulled me flush to him, making me gasp. 

"Ashton..." I breathed, chest heaving up and down. He leaned in slowly, looking at my reaction. His eyes kept darting from my lips to my eyes, leaning in further. I got impatient and pulled him down to crash our lips together. Ashton smiled at my actions, pulling me closer by my waist and deepening the kiss. My fingers were running through his hair and pulling at the ends. He groaned at my actions and slipped his tongue into my mouth, our tongues fighting for dominance. After a couple of minutes, we pulled apart our foreheads resting against each other's, chest heaving, breaths heavy, smiles on our faces. My eyes were still shut as I grinned, giggling slightly. 

"Wow." Was all he could say, and even that came out in a pant. 

"Wow, indeed." 

"Come on, there are cakes with our names on it." He said and we walked in the door, hand in hand, smiles on both our faces. 

I walked in with the biggest grin on my face and an unfamiliar warmth radiating throughout my chest. Maybe Miss Wan was right. Maybe I did find my true happiness. Happiness...I haven't truly felt that in a long time. I could get used to this.

 


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up to the sound of laughter in the living room. I stretched and got out of bed. This is weird, I usually have to drag myself around in the mornings but today, I was more awake than ever. What's even weirder is that my cheeks hurt. Why do my cheeks hurt? I put my glasses on and walked to the mirror. Is that a smile? Holy shit, I'm smiling at 10 in the bloody morning. This place is weird. Wow I have used weird a lot in the past 2 minutes... 

The flashbacks of yesterday's events flashed through my mind - the kisses, the cuddles, Ashton...They all raced through my mind. The one that stood out the most was the goodnight/goodbye kiss.... 

_"No, Ash!" I screamed from my seat in the car, looking over at him in disgust._

_"What?" He exclaimed, "Why wouldn't you come home with me after that?!"_

_"That was so cheap." I scoffed, folding my arms over my chest._

_"That was bloody brilliant is what that was."_

_"Ash! Your pick up line sucked! Even after knowing you I would pour a drink over your head and walk away!"_

_"Oh, like you have any better." He scoffed, stopping the car at the red light and looking over at me._

_"I can get anyone with just five words." I smirked cockily, holding up my fingers._

_"Anyone?" He smirked suggestively._

_"Did it before and I can do it again."_

_"Try me." He said cockily, leaning back in his seat, still facing me._  

_"You wouldn't be able to handle it." I said with a scoff, leaning back in my seat._

_"What are you going to say? 'Hey I'm a girl?' "_

_"That's four words, dufus."_

_"Just do it." He scoffed._

_With a smile, I shook my hair, leaning in close to him and ran my finger softly from the base of his neck where his white shirt started to the button of his jeans. His breath got heavier, eyes darkened. I looked at him whilst biting my lip and leaned in to whisper in his ear in a soft and sultry voice. "I'm not wearing any underwear..." And with that I pulled away slowly, winking. I brought my finger to my lips and bit down on my fingernail, leaning against the door and crossing my legs over one another, slowly._

_We sat there looking at each other - Ashton was biting his lip, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he squirmed in his seat while I smirked, biting my lip and twirling my hair around my finger. A loud honk caused both of us to jump apart; Ashton's hand instinctively reaching for the steering wheel while my hands reached to grab Ashton's bicep. We broke apart, each of us in our own seats like children who had just been admonished._

_"That uhh-" Ashton said in a low husky voice before clearing his throat so his voice to return to normal. "That really works, huh?"_

_"Worked on you didn't it." I stated cockily, facing him again. He narrowed his eyes at me and after about thirty seconds of silence we both burst out laughing. He parked his car at the end of my driveway, turning off the engine before getting out and jogging over to my side, opening the door for me. I will never get used to how much of a gentleman he is. A light shade of pink tinted my cheeks as he helped me out of the car, not letting go of my hand as we walked to my front porch._

_"Thank you, Ash. I had a really great time today." I said sincerely, looking at the ground rather than his face. Eww how much of a girl am I acting like right now?_   

_"I did too." He said in a low voice, unlinking our fingers together to rest his hand on my waist before pulling me closer._

_"You know," I said, playing with the strings on his denim jacket, "all the rules say that this is the part of the date where we're supposed to kiss."_

_"Well, who are we to break the rules?" He said with an amused expression; dimples prominent._

_"I don't know about you but I've always been a rule breaker." I said in a soft voice, pulling him closer by the strings of his jacket._

_"Hmm," He said contently, "It is my civil duty to bring you on the right path then, Miss Walker." And with that, his grip on my waist tightened as he pulled me closer, ghositng his lips over mine before pecking them once and pulling away. I pulled him in closer, snaking my hands around his neck to prevent him from pulling away again. He smirked into the kiss before taking charge. He pulled me flush into him, bringing his hand to my face and tilting it before licking my bottom lip and asking for entrance. I parted my lips slightly allowing him to snake his tongue into my mouth, both of us fighting for dominance. We moved our lips together, before pulling apart for air. He rested his forehead on mine as we panted, and breathed heavily together; neither of us spoke, but both of us did have a smile on our faces._

_You know how the movies and books and what not describe the perfect kissing scenes. You know what I'm talking about right? How they show that when it's the right person they're kissing there are sparks and fireworks and everything is perfect...Well it's not really like that in real life is it? Fireworks don't go off and sparks don't fly. But something does happen. Now, I'm not saying that Ashton is the right one. I don't believe in that shit. But, I did feel something and I know I can't just put it down to nothing because this didn't happen when I was kissing Dylan, neither did it happen when I had all those other kisses back home. It only happened and is happening with Ashton._

_My skin burns, and not the type of burn where you retract and curl up immediately and need to run it under cold water. No, it's the nice burn...the one where after the lingering touches are gone, and my lips feel cold again, my skin starts to scream for something, anything to have that amazing feeling back. I guess you could compare it to a drug but that would be creepy right...I mean I'm not Edward Cullen and Ashton Irwin isn't my personal type of heroine... My skin just burns, my heart just starts beating fast and well, I just want him close to me and maybe feel his lips on mine again._

_"You really are something else, Danielle Walker." Ashton whispers before pulling his forehead away from mine and placing a kiss there. And then he walks away, leaving me a melted mess on the front porch, leaning against the pole._

"Dani?!" I hear my brother say from the doorway of the room, making me shake my head to break out of my little memory, "You okay?" 

"Yeah bud, just thinking." I say, walking to him and ruffling his hair before both of us walk out to go to the kitchen. 

"Mornin' darling." My dad says, looking up from his newspaper. 

"Hey." I answer, getting the coffee beans to make myself a cup of coffee. 

"Where were you last night?" He asked, flipping the page of his newspaper. 

"Out with a friend." I deadpanned. 

"Ask her who she was with." My brother said with a playful smirk. 

"Who were you with?" My dad asked, putting his newspaper down. 

"A friend." I say as I grab a coffee mug. 

"Who is this friend?" He asked more seriously. 

"It's too early in the morning for this." 

"I asked you a question, Danielle Walker!" He said sternly. 

"And I answered." I retorted, pouring my coffee into the cup and grabbing some milk from the fridge. 

"Do not talk back to me!" He said, voice increasing. "Now answer the question!" I stayed silent, stirring the milk into the coffee and taking a sip from it. "Danielle!" He said, now screaming. 

"You said not to answer back, so I'm silent. What more do you want?!" 

"Do not act smart with me!" 

"Then stop trying to be stupid." I said with a shrug. At this point, he got out of his chair and slammed his fist on the coffee table. Nathan jumped in fear of this new person who was standing in front of us. 'Father', I meant to say. 

"I will tolerate this bullshit in my house!" He screamed slamming his fist on the table again which scared Nathan but not me.

"I will bet you $50 that in the week that we've been here, we've spent more time in this house than you have since you've bought it." I said nonchalantly, taking a sip from my coffee.

"What is with you, Danielle? Why do you keep trying to start fights with me? What do you want?" He asked, voice dripping with sadness.

"Me? How do you always manage to shift the blame onto someone else? First it was mom with the divorce and now me? Wow, you really have outdone yourself." I said slow clapping for dramatic effect. What can I say? I watch a lot of movies.

"I am trying to get along with you. I really am-"

"Are you though?! When is the last time that we've hung out? Not just sat in the same room but actually hung out with each other, you know, with the talking, laughing and whatever" I seethed.

"Uhh-"

"You want to know when? When I was 9, the day before you started going on your 'business trips'."

"Dani-" He said before I cut him off.

"You know what," I said, slamming my coffee mug onto the counter top and walking over to Nathan, "We're going to be gone for a while. Don't bother waiting up. Oh wait, you never do." I said before pulling Nathan up from the table and into the room. 

"Nate, call Harry and see if you can hang out with him for the day." I say, throwing him my phone and making him turn around so that I could change. Once that was done, I quickly grabbed two pieces of hair from my head and pinned them back, making it seem as if I had spent hours on my hair. 

"He said it was alright." Nathan said in a small voice. "I'm sorry you guys fought because of me." 

"Aww sweetie." I said, walking over to him, feeling slightly guilty, "None of this is your fault. We're sorry we fought in front of you. Dad and I are trying to work out our differences-" 

"By fighting?" 

"Unfortunately, we fought today. But we promise before we leave, we'll be a happy family once again." I said, linking my pinky with his and smiling, before leaning down to kiss his cheek. 

"Can we go now? Harry said he got the new Call of Duty and that we could play it together." Nathan said excitedly which made me laugh but I nodded, grabbing my phone and shoving some money into my pocket before walking out of the house with Nathan and without a second glance. I hailed a cab and sent Nathan off to Harry's house knowing that Ashton wouldn't be there and went off to meet Christina.

[I walked into](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_125/set?id=186630784) the restaurant, already being able to spot the jet black hair of my friend. 

"Tee," I sighed as I sat down and slumped into a chair in front of her. 

"Hello, darling!" [Christina said](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_124/set?id=186149016) in her usual chirpy voice. "How are you?" 

"Tired, to be honest." 

"Your dad?" She asked, sympathy pooling in her eyes. I nodded, flipping my hair over my shoulder, "Don't want to talk about it?" She asked again and once again I nodded. 

"You just know me too well for your own good, Christina Milton." I sighed, slumping in the chair. 

"Let's talk about yesterday." She said wagging her eyebrows, making me sit up straight. 

"What about yesterday?" I asked coyly, a smile growing on my face.

"Oh you know exactly what!" 

"Please do enlighten me, your wiseness." 

"Your date! With Ashton Irwin!" She practically screamed. "Speaking of, he's going to be joining us in a bit! So hurry up and spill!" But before I could even get a word out she interrupted me, "With details!" 

"Alright, alright! Calm those tatas!" I said with a laugh. "So basically, he picked me up from my house and even brought my favourite chocolates-" 

"Excuse me," A voice interrupted, making both of us look at the cause. 

"Yes?" Christina said, brows furrowed in confusion. 

"I'm so sorry for interrupting but I couldn't help but overhear that you went on a date with Ashton Irwin?" She said, a little shy yet for some reason I couldn't help but feel like she wasn't trouble despite being dressed, head to toe in designer things. Although she was on the same social rank as Brittany the Bimbo Bitch, she seemed to be nice. Well, for my sake I hope she is. 

"I did." I answered. "I don't mean to sound rude but I don't think there's any nice way of putting this, but why does that concern you?" 

"Oh, it's nothing like that but I just had a few questions, if you will..." [She said](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=187202134) trailing off. I looked over to Christina who just shrugged at me and I sighed, deciding that I would humour her. 

"Sure, go ahead." I said trying to act nonchalant. 

"Okay, but I need you to be honest with me, and to hear me out completely before saying anything." She said and I nodded, showing her that I would. "Alright then, just tell me if I'm right or if I'm wrong." 

"Fine, I will. Go ahead." I said growing a little antsy.

 "Let me guess," She said clasping her hands together, her Michael Kors bag hanging perfectly from her arm, as if made for her. "Ashton asked you out and on the day of the date he was at your doorstep with your favourite thing. He acted nervous, which you would obviously find endearing and cute. The whole ride there you guys would act shy and nervous and guarded around each other. Then he would pull up at a beach, ask you to trust him before he got out a bandana. You would be excited and agree, letting him hold your hand and guide you to the surprise. Then he would take the blindfold off and voila! An 'abandoned' lighthouse. He would take you to the top of the lighthouse and show you a wonderfull picnic with pizza's and soda that he said he took all day to perfect. Then he would take you a couple of floors below to show you the ocean view and you would kiss. Then it would be time for dessert where he would feed you your favourite thing. Then he would take you home and kiss you before you left with the promise that he would see you the next day." She concluded, her voice getting rougher and more menacing. 

"H-how.." I stuttered not being able to believe what I was hearing. 

"Did I get it all?" She asked, her voice sickly sweet. 

"I...I" I said, stuck for words before looking at Christina who was sporting the same reaction as I was. 

"Was that a summary of your date with the wonderfully charming Ashton Irwin?" She asked and at a loss for words, I nodded. "Any questions?" 

"How do you know all this?" 

"I was his last victim, sweetie." She explained as if it was a matter of fact. 

"Victim?" 

"Oh sweetie, you didn't actually think that the date was specially tailored for you did you?" She asked with a snarky laugh, "Oh no, no. He does this to everyone. Ask anyone." 

"I can't believe I fell for it again." I scoffed under my breath. After a few beats of silence, she spoke again. 

"So, what was yours?" She asked, I looked up at her confused, "Mine were red Roses and cupcakes for dessert. Ashley's over here were Tulips and donuts for dessert." 

"Chocolate and cake." I muttered just a litle louder than a whisper. 

"Why are you telling her this?" Christina seethed. 

"I don't want her to end up heartbroken like all of us were. He used us!" 

"What are you getting out of this? He didn't sleep with you did he, only kissed you and didn't call you back?" Christina asked, slightly worried and slightly infuriated. 

"He did. He slept with both of us " She said pointing at herself and Ashley, "He takes it upon himself to get the girls who are a challenge." 

"But what about Britt-" I started to ask but was cut off. 

"Ahh, there he is." She spat, pure venom in her voice , "The pretty boy himself." 

It was like slow motion what happened next. One second Ashton was laughing at something Luke said while pushing the door of the restaurant open, eyes scanning the place for the both of us. Then, he stopped. His laugh fell, eyes went from being crinkly to popping open in shock. He stopped in the middle of the entrance which caused Luke to slam right into him. I lifted my head slightly, shaking it in disapproval before grabbing my phone and standing from my seat. 

"Tee, do me a favour and pick Nathan up from Ashton's house." I muttered angrily. Christina only nodded, eyeing me sympathetically. "Thanks for your help." I mumbled to the girl whose name I didn't even know. Why am I trusting her? I doubted her story for a bit before I saw Ashton's shocked face...then I just believed it. He wouldn't be shocked if nothing had happened. Right? 

I shook my head again as I walked right past both Luke and Ashton, making sure to scoff and bump my shoulder with his as I walked out of the restaurant. 

"Dani.." He said, voice barely over a whisper as I was walking by. I shook my head and started walking faster. I couldn't remember the way I came in but all I knew was that I had to get away from here. I could find a taxi or something on the way. "Dani!" Ashton shouted, jogging after me. I ignored him and just kept walking. I could hear the footsteps coming closer as he jogged faster to keep up with me. My forearm was suddenly pulled back as he caught up with me. 

"What Ashton?!" I screamed at him. "What could you possibly say now?" 

"Please just-" 

"Do you know her? And her friend?" 

"Dani, please just-" 

"Just what, Ashton? Give you a chance to explain yourself? What could you possibly say to make this better?" I said, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. My eyes slightly watery but I forbid myself from crying over a boy. That too a boy I've only known about a week and a half now. 

"Dani, please just-" 

"Say something else other than those 3 words, Ashton. Or are you still trying to come up with an excuse?" I said with a bitter laugh. 

"Look Dani, I promi-" 

"Don't you dare call me Dani. And don't even think about using the word promise with me." I seethed, wagging a finger at him. 

"Please just-" He said desperately trying to get a word in, but I wouldn't let him. Why should I? He would probably come up with some bullshit excuse that's generic and stolen from a billion RomComs.

"You know what the worst part about all this is? Not even that someone else went on the exact same date as me, but that I was actually starting to like it here. I was actually happy for once and I even opened up to you! Oh my god, how stupid am I?! I have never trusted anyone in my life after my dad left and 4 days in this hell hole I already told you my whole sob story." I said, tears prickling my eyes and blurring my vision, but still not falling because tears falling would indicate crying, and Danielle Walker does not cry. Ever. "Holy shit! That's probably why you even went out with me. You saw how pathetic my life was and you probably thought 'Hey this chick would be easy.'  Well, I hope you're happy Ashton." I spat before snatching my arm out of his grip and walking away.

"Dani-" He said lurching forward to grab my arm again but I snatched it away. 

"Don't!" I screamed in frustration. "Whatever the hell you thought this was, it's over. Don't bother anymore Ashton." 

And with that, I walked away. Where I was going? I don't bloody know. But I just had to get away from him. 

Haha! Remember when I thought that I was begginning to feel happy...That was funny wasn't it? Really funny....


	19. Chapter 19

"Yes, that's right. Just one large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and extra pepperoni." I said into the phone, hanging up and going back to scooping out the ice cream from the pint I bought from Baskin Robins. I pushed my glasses up as they were falling off my face and continued binge watching Full House. It was times like these I was thankful that the house was empty. Nathan was sleeping over at Harry's friends house, Chris I think his name was; and my dad was at work. 

_Ding Dong_

Wow, this pizza place wasn't kidding about fast delivery. I put my ice cream on my side table and paused Full House.[I walked over](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_128/set?id=187412239)to the front door, quickly wiping my mouth with the back of the sleeve of my shirt and opened the door. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked. 

"Well, I do live here." My dad said with an amused expression. I sighed and let him in, walking back to my room and closing the door. After a few minutes, I heard the knock on my door and I sighed. 

"Come in." 

"Hey buddy." He said, walking over to my bed and sitting down. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah. I'm alright." I said with a small smile. 

"You sure? 'Cause you haven't tried to fight with me in about three days." 

"Funny." I said sarcastically, scooping some ice cream into my mouth. 

"I know I may not be your favourite person right now, but I'm still your dad and I always will be here for you if you want to talk." He said sincerely, putting his hand on my leg as a sign of support.

"I know dad." I said with a small smile, "But I'm alright." 

"You sure sweetie?" He said and I nodded. 

"I always am." I muttered under my breath, looking down at my pint of ice cream to get another spoonfull. 

"You don't always have to be alright. You know that right?" He said, trying to hold my gaze, "You don't always have to be strong, neither do you have to smile all the time. Life isn't just about up's, Dani. It's about both good and bad times and it's okay not to be alright for the whole ride. It's okay to scream and shout and cry." 

"I'm alright." I said, "Really, I am." 

"You remind me of your mother, you know." He said with a laugh. 

"How so?" 

"You're both equally as stubborn." 

"I really am okay, dad." 

"I don't know who you're trying to convince yourself, sweetie." He said, patting my leg again before getting up and walking towards the door. "Oh, Dani." 

"Yeah dad?" 

"He doesn't deserve you if all you're doing is moping around." He said with a knowing smile before walking out the door. I sighed and shoved another spoonfull of ice cream into my mouth. 

_Ding Dong_

It better be pizza this time! I got up, put the ice cream on my bedside table once again and made my way to the door. 

"You're not my pizza." I said immediately as the familiar face was standing before me. 

"No I most certainly am not. But I am definitely better than pizza." 

"[Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_130/set?id=187494264) what are you doing here?" I sighed, leaning against the doorframe of my front door. 

"Getting you out of this..rut." She said, pushing me aside so she could enter my house. 

"Oh please, make yourself at home." I said sarcastically, "And, I am not in a rut."

"You're hair looks like it hasn't been washed in days, you have ice cream stains on your shirt and I'm pretty sure if I go into your room I'll find ice cream and Netflix on your laptop." 

"I am not in a rut!" I repeated myself, ignoring her comments. 

"Go shower and get dressed. We're going out." She said, plopping herself on my couch and taking her phone out. 

"No." 

"Dani! You have been cooped up in your house for 3 days!" 

"I'm fine!" I insisted. 

"You need to get out of this house and get some fresh air." 

"If I need fresh air, I'll crack open a window." 

"Go shower and get dressed. We're going clubbing!" 

_Ding Dong_

Sigh.... 

If this isn't my pizza I might just cut a bitch. 

I opened the front door, once again. 

"You aren't my pizza." I said with a mixture of sadness and anger. 

"Clearly." 

"Tee, you didn't need to call backup!" I said, looking at her smug face. 

"Can I come in now?" 

"You're going to come in despite what I say, aren't you?" I said with a sigh as he smiled cheekily. I closed the door behind him and started walking to the living room. 

"You're coming clubbing tonight, aren't you?" Luke said, making himself comfortable beside Christina. 

"No." I said curtly, glaring at Christina. 

"She is." Christina said. 

"No I am not and you can't make me." 

~~ 

"Baby just wait here with Dani and make sure she doesn't try to escape while I go change." Christina instructed Luke, walking to her room while Luke and I waited in the television room. 

[I sighed and slumped](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_131/set?id=187570824) on the couch, making sure to cross my legs seeing as I was wearing a sheer skirt.

"I have no idea how she made me get dressed and get out of the house." I confessed to Luke who chuckled with eyes filled with adoration for his girlfriend. 

"She really has a way to make you do what she wants." 

"You of all people should know that," I said shooting him a cheeky wink. 

"Dani, I'm your friend, right?" Luke asked cautiously. 

"Luke.."I trailed off, "Please don't do this." 

"Why not?" He asked, getting braver. "I am your friend aren't I?" 

"Of course you're my friend. You were my first real friend-" 

"What about Ashton?" He asked, interrupting me. 

"That's different." I muttered. 

"Dani, look-" 

"Don't do this, Luke." 

"Do what?" 

"The whole cliche 'Please hear him out. It's not what it seems like. There's a perfectly good explanation for what he did. Just hear him explain himself ' thing. Just don't do it, Luke. If you were really my friend you would just-"

"Just what, Dani? Watch as you mope around pretending you don't have any real feelings when we all know that you're hurt. Is that what you want me to do? Because as a friend, I won't have it!" Luke said, standing up. 

"I'm not moping around! I am not in a rut!" I said, standing up and mirroring his glare, "I am perfectly alright!" 

"Being cooped up in your room eating nothing but pizza and ice cream while binge watching seasons and seasons of television and not interacting with any of your friends is called moping around!" He said, voice getting louder. 

"It's called living the dream." I said - my attempt at a futile joke. 

"Stop it, Dani." Luke admonished, "You can't keep doing this! You can't make jokes to show everyone you're fine! You're clearly not and damn it that's okay!" 

"I. Am. Alright." I say, teeth grinding together in frustration. 

"No you're fuc-"

"Ta-Da!" Christina says, jumping down the last stair and [showing off her outfit](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_129/set?id=187494076). Luke and I were glaring at each other, not bothering to look at her. You could cut the tension with a knife in here. "Guys?" 

"You look beautiful, baby." Luke says, shooting her a small smile. 

"Everything okay?" She asked, darting her eyes between us. 

"Luke's just being a good friend but as usual, I'm stubborn." I say, smiling at both of them. 

"I am?" He asked, mouth agape, "I mean, yeah. I am." 

"Shall we?" I asked and they nodded and the three of us filed into the car. 

~~

The stench of alcohol and sweat filled my nose as I made my way through the sweaty bodies grinding on each other under the strobe of multicoloured lights. I pushed my way through until I found an empty booth, quickly making my way to it and sitting down. We've only been here a total of three minutes and twenty seconds and already I'm ready to pack up and go home. Luke and Christina were quick to follow suit, Luke's hands protectively on Christina's waist as he brought her to safety. Safety being where I was sitting in the booth.

"Okay." I said, well more like shouted over Rihanna playing in the background, "I came. I'm here, out of the house. Can I go home now?"

"Oh come on, Dani!" Christina rolled her eyes at my whining, "Stop being such a sulky Sally! Have fun!"

"Sulky Sally? Tee, I-"

"Hey! You guys made it!" Luke said, cutting off my whining. I turned my head to see that he was talking to Calum and Michael. "Did he...?" Luke asked ominously, cocking his eyebrow and trailing off.

"Yup!" Calum said, nodding.

"Parking as we speak!" Michael said with a proud smirk, slipping himself into the booth, next to Calum.

"I'm going to go get a drink." I said to Christina, walking towards the bar and waiting for the bartender to come over to me, seeing as I was too lazy to go through the sea of sweaty bodies to get to the bartender who was on the other side of the bar.  I craned my neck and tried to get the bartender's attention, but he didn't even bother looking at me. I sighed and tried again. 

"You know, you're never going to get his attention by doing that." A voice said, from behind me which made me jump. 

"Guess I'll just have to find out then." I said, moving a little to my right seeing as I had no idea who this guy was. 

"What's a pretty girl like you doing getting the drinks? Shouldn't your friends be getting them for you?" 

"I have legs and hands, don't I?" I snarled, rolling my eyes, "I can get them myself." 

"Feisty." He said, darting his tongue out to lick his lips. 

"Anything else you want to say before you walk away?" I asked, rolling my eyes and hoping he would get the message. 

"Want to dance?" 

"No." I deadpanned, "Now, leave." 

I looked back at the bar, ignoring this creep. One song and three more times of trying, the bartender finally came to my side of the bar.  I ordered a long island ice tea and paid before going back to the booth where only Calum and Michael were sitting on their phones. 

"Hey guys." I greeted, slipping into the booth and sipping on my drink before moaning n appreciation and leaning back into the seat. 

"Someone's enjoying their drink a little too much," Michael teased, looking at me. 

"Hey! It took a lot of waiting and fending off creepy guys to get this drink." I said, taking another sip and dramatically moaning. 

"You might need to fend off more creepy guys if you keep that moaning up." Calum said with a laugh, stealing my drink and taking a sip of it and passing it on to Michael. He leaned back in his seat and draped his arm over my shoulder. I thought nothing of it and reached over to steal my drink back. I leaned into Calum's shoulder, ignoring the questioning look that Michael was throwing Calum and focused on the crowd. 

"Why aren't you dancing?" Calum asked

"I don't want to." I said simply, shrugging, "I didn't even want to come." 

"That sounds familiar." Michael scoffed. 

"What?" I ask, looking at him. 

"Oh nothing," He said, brushing it off, "I've heard that multiple times today." 

"Michael!" Calum warns, shooting him a pointed glare before looking back at me. "Let;s go dance." 

"Calum-" I try to protest but he's pushing me out of the booth, grabbing my drink, or what's left of it and encouraging me to down the last couple of sips. 

"Come on, Dani! Have some fun!" 

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Michael hoots from behind and I down the last sip of it and Calum grabs my hand, dragging me to the dance floor. He spins me around under the strobe lights and starts jumping to the song.  I half-heartedly copy him but he can tell that I'm not fully into it. He shoots me a warning glance, accompanied by a smirk before grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer to him. I throw my head back and laugh, deciding that I'm not going to let some stupid boy control what I feel. I link my fingers with his and we jump and sing to the song. The smell of alcohol and sweat no longer bother me as they cling to my skin and engulf me in this atmosphere of letting go.

After a couple of songs, Michael joins us and we jump in time to the music. He passes me a drink and I down it in a gulp. He looks at me with wide eyes and I shrug in response deciding that I am going to let go and get drunk today. They brought me out here for a good time and I am going to bloody well have a damn good time and alcohol will help me with that. After a couple more songs, my feet start to throb and I need another drink. I pull Calum close to me.

"I'm going to get another drink." I tell him and point to the bar before stumbling slightly towards the bar.

"Vodka tonic, hold the tonic."I giggle.

"So just a shot of vodka?" The bartender asks and I nod rapidly in response.

"Actually," I say, holding up my finger, "Two vodka tonics, hold the tonics."

"So, two shots of vodka?" He asks and I nod again. He sighs and hands me a glass. I grab it and start to chug, feeling the cool liquid go down my throat.

"Hey! This isn't vodka! It's water." I complain, shooting a glare at the bartender.

"You need to slow down." He advises, grabbing two shot glasses and pouring the vodka, handing it to me. I down both of the shots looking at him.

"I'm fine." I say, turning to walk away but stumbling a bit, grabbing the counter for support. I see the bartender's eyes burning a hole in my back. I sigh, turn around seeing him already holding out another glass of water. I take it unwillingly but drink it anyway, the water sobering me up slightly. I shoot the bartender a smile and a nod as a thank you and walk back to the booth, tipsy but not drunk. 

"You're not my friends." I said to the random people at the booth, to which they looked at me like I was crazy. I giggled, the alcohol clearly kicking in before I shrugged and walked into the sea of sweaty bodies. I tried to look out for familiar faces but that proved to be impossible by the constant flickering of the strobe lights; so I gave up and just started dancing by myself, losing myself to the beat of the music. Forgetting everything and clearing my mind of every thought, focusing only on the thump of the beat and my movements to it. 

4 and a half songs later, I got too tired. My feet were throbbing under the pressure and the unusually high heels that Christina practically forced me down to wear. I tried to look or a quiet place, but that was obviously impossible seeing as the bass of the music was shaking the whole place down. I saw a door from the distance, being illuminated by a neon green exit sign hanging above it. I sighed in relief and walked to it, I pushed it open and let out a huge breath of relief because no one was outside. Sure it was dark, and in the middle of an alley, but no one was here so I would be safe...I hope. 

I was leaning against a wall, browsing Instagram. By browsing Instagram, I obviously meant stalking hot guys and girls. Suddenly, I felt my forearm being yanked and saw my phone fall to the floor. 

"What the hell?!" I screamed, looking at my phone on the ground. Before I could even get a look at the dickhead who did that, I felt myself being pushed back to the brick wall, my head hitting the bricks. "Ouch! What the fuc-" 

"You think you can go around telling my girlfriend what is good for her and what isn't, huh?! Who the hell do you think you are, you little slut?!" 

"What, Liam? Scared that now she knows she truth, she's going to leave you and you won't have any money for booze or drugs?!" I spat at him. 

"You listen here and you listen good, you slut," Liam sneered, pushing me back into the bricks, the jagged edges piercing my skin, making me hiss in pain, "You better stay the hell away from Reign, or else..." 

"Or else what? You're going to threaten me like this?" I scoffed, trying to mask the pain. From the way he was gripping my forearms, I could already tell that they would bruise. 

"Listen here bitch, I'm holding back here. I could do a lot worse." 

"Like what? Hit me?" I sneered before spitting in his face. He let my right arm go, wiping my spit off his face before making a fist with his hand and pushing back. 

"If you even think about hitting her, I will castrate you." A voice from the door said, making both Liam's head and my head snap towards the direction of the voice. 

"Oh look little slut, your boyfriend is here to save you." Liam mocked, tightening his grip on my forearm, which made me wince in pain. 

"Let her go, Liam." Ashton said calmly, which contradicted the fire in his eyes. 

"No thanks. Now go back inside before I hurt you." He threatened, which really isn't a good threat in my opinion but I am in no position to say that seeing as I am currently in a lot of pain. Plus I'm sure if I did say that, I would get a lot worse than just his bruising fingers on my forearm. How am I supposed to explain this to everyone? 

"You really shouldn't have dropped out of school, Liam. At least you would've had better threats and a smarter brain to know that if you don't let Danielle's arm go in the next three seconds, you won't have arms." Ashton said, stepping closer to us.

"Your threats are worse than hers." Liam scoffed, tightening his grip on my forearm, causing me to hiss and wince in pain, "You really are perfect for each other."

"Let. Her. Go." Ashton growled, pulling Liam's arm away from me and punching him square in the jaw. Liam dropped my arms, which made me retract to the wall, holding my arm in pain while I watched Liam's hands cradle his jaw in pain. Ashton's eyes were on fire as he watched Liam. Liam got up, snarled and started throwing punches, blind with rage. Ashton easily dodged them, before catching Liam's right fist and kicking him in the stomach. Liam doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach. Ashton simply watched the boy as his eyes burned with rage. Liam got up, clenched his fist before punching Ashton in the eye.

"Stop!" I screamed, running over to Ashton but was only pushed back by Liam. He laughed as he pushed me so hard that I tripped over my heel and fell. Ashton saw this, immediately took Liam by the collar and punched him in his jaw and again in his eye.

"I told you not to touch her!" He screamed as he kept pummeling Liam with punches.

"Ashton! Stop!" I screamed, getting off the floor and rushing over to him. I grabbed his elbow just as he was going to punch Liam again. "Please Ashton. Stop." I begged him. Ashton looked over to me, his eyes calming down. His hand deflated and he let Liam go.

"Never go near her again!" Ashton snarled, looking at Liam's bloodied face. For someone who just got hit, you would think he would be more sorry, sympathetic even; but he wasn't. Liam was smirking, teeth covered with blood as he looked at me. I hid behind Ashton a little, not wanting to seem as if I was afraid of Liam, but in truth, I was a little.

"You'll get what's coming to you, little bitch." Liam said with a smirk. Ashton was just about to hit him again, but I grabbed his hand. His head snapped towards mine and all I did was shake my head. He must have seen some fear and pleading in my eyes because he stopped. He walked backwards, arm around my waist, fire in his eyes and his mouth in a hard line. 

"If you even think about getting within a 2 mile radius of her, I will end you." Ashton threatened, pure venom seeping from his words. Ashton pulled me to walk around the building towards the front rather than go through the inside. 

"Are you okay?" I asked in a small whisper, not wanting to fuel the fire that was building within Ashton. 

"What were you thinking?!" He screamed, turning to face me. I jumped away from him, scared that he would do what Liam did. 

"I-I..I just-" I stammered and stuttered in fear of angering him further. 

"What were you thinking coming out here, in a dark alley, alone! Nobody knew where you were! Do you know how worried everyone was inside?! How could be so bloody reckless?!" He screamed at me, running his fingers through his hair - something he did out of frustration. 

"I can take care of myself! I'm a big girl!" I screamed back in my defense. 

"Yeah, of course you can! You were doing such an amazing job taking care of yourself back then." He scoffed. 

"I could've handled it, Ashton! I am not some damsel in distress!" 

"You're definitely not a damsel in distress. You're just an idiot!" 

"I was doing fine without you!" I screamed at him.

"He could've hurt you even worse. He would've! You don't know this dick! You should be thanking me!" 

"Thanking you for doing what?! This is your bloody fault!" 

"How are you blaming this on me?! I saved you!" 

"I didn't need saving, Ashton! I don't need you!" I screamed, poking a finger in his chest. 

"You clearly did! You were there, Dani! You saw what he was going to do to you, what he did to you!" Ashton said, pushing my finger away from his chest and pointing towards the alley. 

"How do I not know that this isn't a set up so that you could be the prince on the white horse and I, a damsel in distress?" 

"Why in the hell would I do that?!" He asked, hurt in his voice. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, and for a split second, I felt bad that I even said anything. 

"Your date idea didn't work. Maybe he's just plan B. Another staple idea to get in another girls pants." I scoffed, walking away from him. A part of me wanted to stay, to thank him, to clean up his wounds tht he got because of me. But another part of me wanted to leave, to pretend that I had never met him, to walk so far away from him that there could never be hope of me seeing him ever again. It was a 20% part of me, but still, a part of me. Unfortunately, this part of me was winning. 

"Do you really think so low of me?" He asked, catching my wrist in his hand. For the first time in three days, my skin was on fire. It was the kind of fire that fueled the 80% part of me that wanted to stay with him. My skin sang and was begging me to stay. I wanted to but I can't risk it, not again. 

"I don't know what to think anymore, Ashton." I said softly, looking down and not at him. 

"Do you really think that I would put you in danger like that?" He asked, pulling me closer but I still wouldn't look at him. 

"Stop." I whispered, moving my wrist to try and get out of his hold so I could go home. I never wanted to come out in the first place.

"Do you really think that if I didn't care, and I just wanted to get in your pants that I would literally beat someone to a bloody pulp just because he was hurting you?" He asked, voice getting rougher. 

"Stop." I repeated, moving my wrist harsher, but his grip only got tighter, but not the tight like Liam used, it was the kind of tight that never left a bruise. 

"You're not just another girl, Dani." He whispered, pulling me closer and lifting my chin up with his finger. 

"Stop it, Ashton!" I screamed, breaking down. I yanked my wrist out of his grip and tears welled up in my eyes. I am so sick of this back and forth. I am done with all this lying. I want to go home and not the 'home' that was here in this town! I want to go home home. Back to my mom, my friends, hell, I even wanted to see Bryan! "I'm done, Ashton!  I am done with your lies and with your mind games! I can't do this anymore!" I screamed, hoping and praying that not a single tear will spill. 

"Dani-" 

"No Ashton!" I screamed, tired, "Just stop! Please." I said in a whisper. 

"Dani, please just let me-" 

"Thanks for helping me with Liam, or whatever. I just...Goodbye." I said softly, walking away from him and towards the front of the club, hailing a cab. 

**To: Christina**

**Gone home. Thanks for today. Sorry to disappear like that.**

 

**From: Christina**

**Everything okay? Was worried about you.**

**To: Christina**

**I'm alright. Tell you tomorrow**

 

Maybe I should just go home early....I can't handle this anymore. 

I paid the cab driver and walked into my house. Immediately I was met with guitar chords...something I haven't heard in a long time. Well, at least since the first day that I came here, but a lot has changed since then. 

"You're home early," My father commented, hearing the squeak of the front door. 

"I am." I answered, locking up behind me. 

"Want to give this baby a shot?" He asked, holding up the acoustic guitar with a smug smile.

"I want to go home." I say after a couple beats of silence, shocking both him and myself.

"You are home." 

"I want to go back to my real home." I say with a sigh. 

"What happened?" He asked, putting down the guitar and walking over to me, "Is it that boy?" 

"I just want to go home." I say, defeated. 

"Sleep on it, okay?" He tells me, patting my shoulder before walking to his room. 

I walked to my room, dragging my feet across the ground, going to the cupboard immediately. I strip from my clubbing clothes, walking over to the mirror to assess the damage done by Liam. The bruises weren't quite visible yet, but I knew that I was going to get them judging by the way my arms hurt everytime I moved them. I sighed and put on my sleeping clothes before tying my hair into a side ponytail, not caring how it looked. I was only going to sleep, not to a fashion show. [I looked at myself in the mirror](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=188302248) once again, asking myself how it got to be this bad....How I was originally supposed to come here and spend 'quality time' with my brother and father. This summer was supposed to strengthen our relationship, our 'bond' as a family, as my mother would say. 

I clutched my necklace that I never took off in my hand and chanted a mantra as I was walking to my bed. I got into the bed and the mantra only increased in speed. I silently hoped that this mantra would come true. 

_I'm going to be okay_

_I'm going to be okay_

_I'm going to be okay_

_I'm going to be okay_

Then the mantra changed, as if the universe was telling me something

_It's going to be okay_

_It's going to be okay_

_Everything is going to be okay_

_Everything is going to be okay_

 

And slowly, as if it was all working itself out, the mantra lulled me to sleep. Hopefully a peaceful, dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

You know what the best part of waking up is? That split second when you drift into consciousness and you're peaceful. For that split second, there are no troubles, no drama, no angst, no heartbreak, there's nothing. It's just you in your best time. Peaceful, weightless. Then it all comes rushing back, wave after wave after wave just engulfing you, drowning you in a mess that you may or may not have created. But it's there. The mess you've been putting off by sleeping back to haunt you. 

And that's exactly what happened to me. I tossed and turned until I finally woke up. For that split second, everything was perfect. I was weightless. I had no problems. I didn't have 'boy trouble' as Christina and my dad would put it, I didn't have a dysfunctional family, my dad and I had a great relationship and everyone was happy. Then reality crashed in wave after wave, each one hitting harder the rest but the one that stung the worse was that we weren't happy. None of us were and the ones who say they are are liars, fakers, they put on a show to create the illusion that they are. 

I shook these venomous thoughts out of my head and opened my eyes. It was still dark out. What time is it? [I sat up ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_132/set?id=188302248)and rubbed my eyes with my finger while reaching over to my phone and pressing the home button. Immediately I winced from the brightness. I swear this thing is brighter than the sun! Why didn't I just check my alarm clock?! Sometimes I am so stupid.... 

3.56am 

Great! 4 hours of sleep....Brilliant! I got out of bed and blindly reached over to my bedside table, grabbing my glasses and slipping them on. I turned on my lamp and got out of bed. I am not going to sit here and wait for the sun to rise. I have to get out of the house. I brought my hair into a side ponytail and tied it haphazardly, not giving a shit what it looks like. I'm going out at 4 in the morning, there is no bloody way anyone is going to be awake to see me like this. 

I opened my bedroom door as quietly as possible, tiptoeing my way to the kitchen counter and writing a note to let my dad know where I was going. 

_Hey Dad,_

_Gone to clear my head. I'll be home soon!_

_Dani._

I walked out of the house, not bothering to bring anything with me. For some reason, which even came as a shock to me, I wasn't in the mood for music. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts to try and sort everything out. My head was in one place and my feet were going another. I didn't know where I ended up until I felt my feet sink into the ground. I was ripped out of my thoughts and I looked down - the beach. I shook my head, immediately knowing where, subconsciously I wanted to go. I kept walking, trying to tune everything in my head out for a moment, hoping for some peace. 

It wasn't dark, yet it wasn't fully illuminated either, but somehow, I just knew where I was going. The only thing I regret not bringing is a jacket, it was 4 in the morning and being near a beach with all the wind was sending icy shivers all down my back. I ran my hands up and down my arms while walking in hopes to warm me up. Since i already knew where I was going, I wasn't really worried about getting lost. The rock and I have a history..well a week's history, but still a history nonetheless. My feet were automatically carrying me to the rock as I tried my hardest not to think about anything, which honestly, is harder than it seems. Trying not to think about something only leads to thinking about it which leads to overthinking which leads to me being sad. 

As I was nearing the rock, I saw a silhouette already on it. I squinted my eyes, trying to decide if this was real or just an illusion created by the moonlight and the water. I neared the rock, cautiously just in case it was some random dude who decided to attack me. The closer I got the more I was convinced that this silhouette of this guy, whoever it may be, is real and not an illusion. I found my feet walking faster towards this person, for reasons completely unknown to me. I felt like I knew this person, somehow... As crazy as it sounds, because I'm only basing my feelings on a shadow, a silhouette; but my gut was telling me that I could trust whoever this was.

I reached the rock, well the back of it and I saw the familiar blonde hair of a boy. My head was telling me to run, run as far away from the rock and pray that he doesn't notice. But something else, in my chest was telling me to stay, to listen. This conflict was going on inside me and I couldn't do anything. I was standing frozen at the back of this rock where it all started and I couldn't do anything. I felt helpless for a second, as dramatic as it may seem.

"Ashton." I heard myself murmur with a sigh before my hand clasped over my mouth, in hopes that he didn't hear me. The blonde boy jumped in shock and turned.

"Danielle." He said in shock.

"What are you doing here? It's 4 in the morning." I said, my arms over my chest, my fingers trying to warm myself up.

"I could ask you the same thing," He said with a small smile, shifting to make space on the rock, but I stood there, frozen in the sand.

"I asked you first." I said in small voice.

"I have a lot on my mind and I came to think." He said, looking out into the ocean, before looking back at me, "What about you? What are you doing here at 4 in the morning?"

"I just needed to get out-"

"To think." He said, finishing my sentence for me.

"Yeah." I mumbled, still frozen in the sand.

"Come here." He said, patting the spot on the rock next to him. I shook my head, the cold getting to me a little. Wearing a shirt and shorts to come out at 4 in the morning probably wasn't such a smart idea. "You're freezing, Dani. For once, stop being so stubborn and let me help you warm up before you get hypothermia."

"I am not-"

"A damsel in distress blah blah blah. For once Dani, shut up and let someone help you. Asking for help isn't such a bad thing you know!" Ashton said, getting frustrated and raising his voice. Taken aback by his little  outburst I followed his instructions. I walked to the rock and sat next to him quietly. He sighed and took off his jacket, shrugging it on me.

"You're going to get cold." I mumbled as he was putting his jacket on me.

"I'll be fine."

"You don't have to act so macho."

"I don't get cold." He said to try and convince me. I didn't bother to try anymore. I didn't even look at him the whole time we talked. I was looking at the ocean, the way the waves rolled, the way the moonlight shone, illuminating the ocean and making it come to life. I didn't want to look at Ashton. I didn't want to. We sat in silence, me upright, and him just leaning back on the rock.  

We sat in silence. I was looking out at the ocean, trying my hardest to ignore those occassional fleeting glances that Ashton kept throwing at me. Ashton, well, he kept opening his mouth to say something but immediately closing it again, looking at me to try and gauge a reaction.

"Dani..." He sighed, trying to get me to look at him, talk to him, do something to even acknowledge that he was there. But he didn't succeed. "Please, Dani-"

"Oh Dani, please Dani. Let me explain. It's not as bad as it seems. Just let me tell my side of the story." I mocked, "Were you going to use any one of these lines on me?"

"Dani, just-"

"Wrong answer." I deadpanned, still not looking at him.

"Would you at least look at me?"

"No." I replied bluntly.

"So you won't look at me, talk to me, let me explain or even acknowlege my existence. A little unfair don't you think?" He scoffed, frustrated. 

"Don't talk to me about fairness!" I screamed, fighting the urge to look at him, "You want to know what's truly unfair? The fact that I had to find out, from a complete stranger, that I was just another challenge to you!" 

"Do you think so lowly of me?" Ashton asked, hurt evident in his voice. 

"Are you saying that she's wrong, Ashton? After everything she said to me, you can't tell me that you don't think of me as just another number in your little black book." I scoffed.

"Dani listen-" 

"No Ashton! You listen!" I said, getting more and more furious. Since I wasn't looking at him, I just pretended that he was in front of me, "How am I supposed to believe anything you say now? Was the cliff story even real or was I number 32 there? What about the lighthouse? Am I number 40? Maybe 52? God, Ashton! Was anything you told me the truth?" 

"Look at me." He demanded. 

"Stop it, Ashton." I scoffed again, tilting my head so my hair creates a shield around my face. 

"You're not letting my explain, Danielle. So, look at me." He said firmly. I sigh and push my hair away from my face before looking at him. The moonlight shone as bright as ever, and I could see more than just a silhouette now. His jaw was as chiseled as ever, eyes bright but filled with hurt. He was perfect as always. So perfect in my eyes that I almost missed it, almost missed the bruise on his jaw, running from mid cheek to chin. My gaze lingered on the bruise. He got that because of me. It's my fault. My hand shot up and softly, my fingers brushed the bruise. I didn't even know what I was doing until I saw my fingers on his jaw. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered, palm now resting softly on the bruise thinking that if it rested there long enough, maybe, it'll disappear. 

"It's not your fault." He said, subtly leaning into my palm. I wanted so badly to retract my hand. My skin was burning and I...I liked it. I can't do this. 

"You got hit because of me." I said, trying to distract myself from...well him. 

"You're not another number. You're you, Dani. You can't be categorised." He said, smiling a little. 

"That has nothing to do with you taking a punch because of me." I sighed, pulling my hand away from his cheek. Just as I was doing that, he caught my wrist in his hand and I gasped in shock. 

"I wouldn't take this punch if you didn't mean something to me." Ashton confessed, "When I saw what that dick Liam was doing to you, my blood started boiling. He's so lucky I didn't bloody kill him on the spot. If it wasn't for you, he would be dead." 

"Ashton..." I gasped. 

"You're not just another number, Dani." 

"I'm going home, Ashton." I blurted, my free hand darting out and clutching the necklace around my neck. 

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He said with a small nod, letting my wrist go. 

"No, Ashton." I whispered, "I'm going back...like home home." 

"What? Why?" 

"Ash...there's just too much going on and-" 

"It's 'cause of me, isn't it?" 

"I don't know why you hold yourself so high, but no Ashton, it's not because of you!" I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Sure, I wasn't telling the whole truth, but still...

"You're lying." He said after a minute of silence and his eyes roaming my face. 

"I'm not, Ashton." 

"You are, Dani." He said, wagging his finger at me, "I know you. You wouldn't leave Nathan here alone, and I know Nathan wouldn't want to come with you." 

"Ashton, it's not up to you." 

"But it is up to you?" 

"It is my decision." I said with a shrug. 

"When did you make this executive decision?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest and sitting upright on the rock with his body tilted towards me. 

"Yesterday."

"So, after the whole incident with me and Liam?"

"Liam and I."

"You, me and Liam."

"I was correcting your grammar...." I said, trying to lighten the already tense mood. He sent me a pointed glare. I let out a deflated sigh and slumped on to the rock. 

Silence.

"Are you leaving because of me?" He asked, voice filled with sadness.

"You really do think highly of yourself, don't you?" I asked with a snarky laugh.

"Dani..."

"Ashton..." I mimicked, looking at him. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes, as if I had just told him that his dog died or something. "You've only known me a week." I reminded him.

"Doesn't feel that way."

"Well it has been that long. So..." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"How are you so nonchalant about this?"

"It's my decision!" I said, voice growing louder.

"What did your dad say about this?"

"It's my decision, Ashton." I repeated, "What can he do? Lock me up in my room for another month until summer is over? Force me to stay against my will?!"

"I would!"  

"You would lock me up in a room to prevent me from leaving?" I asked shooting him a pointed glare while cocking my eyebrow as a warning for him to choose his next couple of words very carefully. 

"I wouldn't lock you up but I-I mean- I don't-" He rushed, throwing his arms up and running his fingers through his hair.

"Ashton!" I said, grabbing his hands with mine in an attempt to calm him down. 

Silence.

"Why are you leaving?" He asked, sadness consuming his voice once again. 

"I didn't even want to come here, Ashton." I breathed. 

"That doesn't answer my question." 

"It's complicated." 

"That still doesn't answer my question." 

"There's just too much going on right now." I breathed, hoping this would suffice as an excuse. 

"That still doe-" 

"What do you want me to say Ashton?! I never wanted to be here in the first place. Then I came here and I met you and you introduced me to so many people. I had to open myself up to so many new people, you included! I told you my whole sob story and god dammit Ashton, I actually started to develop something for you! I swear everytime we kissed I could feel this pool of warmth in my stomach and my skin would burn and shit I never wanted to stop kissing you. Then you showed me the cliff and you found me on this rock and you showed me the lighthouse and I felt something for you." I ranted, tears prickling my eyes but I blinked them away. My fingers were running through my hair as I spoke, "You were the only source of light here when things got bad and I know it's only been a week but shit I felt something and now I can't okay! I need to leave!" 

"Dani, I-" 

"I need to go." I said and I bolted, Ashton's jacket still on me. I ignored his calls of my name and kept running back, hoping that he wouldn't follow me. I stopped running after a couple of minutes, mainly because I'm super unfit and also because I realised that Ashton wasn't coming after me. 

What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? Why did I say that? Why did I have to be so stupid and rant like that?! Sure a weight has been lifted off my chest but still! Why did I say it to Ashton! Why didn't I just call up Christina or Pizza Hut or and vent to whoever was on the other end of the line?! Shit shit shit

Crap 

Damn 

I'm running out of swear words! Crap shit piece of...lint? Yeah, I'm running out of swear words...

I can't- I mean- How am I supposed- 

How am I meant to do anything when I can't even align my thoughts?  

I was surprised to see the familiar driveway of my house. I looked at my wrist only to realise that I had forgotten to put my watch in, but judging by the orange of the sky, it was about 6-ish. No point trying to go to sleep now...I took a deep breath and walked into my house, making a beeline straight to the bathroom so that I could freshen up. I took my time in the shower, relishing the feel of the hot water cascading down my back, loosening my tense muscles. After what felt like hours of standing under the streams of water, I got out, wrapping a towel around myself. I looked at the floor and immediately spotted Ashton's jumper. Shit, how was I meant to give this back to him? I shrugged off the thought and bundled his jumper with my dirty clothes before shovng them in the laundry basket.

[I changed as fast as I could](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_133/set?id=188351438) wanting nothing more than to get out of this bathroom and away from the reminder of what I just did to Ashton. I threw my wet towel over the laundry basket and opened the door, walking straight to my room. The house of quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the one of my erratic heartbeat. I practically messed up my whole room in search of my phone and headphones. I threw my phone somewhere staight after I came home yesterday but for the life of me I can't remember where. After messing up my whole room, I found both my headphones and my phone behind the bedside table. I turned my phone on and ignored the messages from Ashton, going straight to Spotify instead and blasting some music. 

I walked around the house while my coffee was brewing and found myself absentmindedly walking towards the acoustic guitar in the corner of the living room. I ran my fingers down the neck of the guitar, plucking at the strings before retracting my hand as if it had burned my fingers. I remembered the pact I made myself after my dad left to not play ever again. Subconciously, I stepped back from the instrument, looking at it as if it had just killed someone. That's when I felt my headphones being yanked from my ear. 

"You alright sweetheart?" My dad asked, looking at me with a knowing smile. 

"What? Yeah. Fine." I said with a small smile, plopping myself down on the couch, holding my hand out for my headphones. 

"Really?" He asked, sitting down next to me and giving me back my headphones, "Because you just looked at that guitar as if it had wiped out all the puppies on Earth." 

"Yeah, uhh-" I said, racking my brain for an explanation that I could give him. I didn't hate the man enough to tell him the truth. Sure I was mad at him, but I would never intentionally hurt him like that. 

"You know," He started, "I had a very interesting conversation with someone yesterday." 

"Yeah?" I replied, visibly relaxing as he changed the topic, "What about?" 

"He was telling me about his friends daughter who was offered a scholarship." 

"Oh congratulations! Whe-"

"She's not taking it." He said, clicking his tongue.

"Why not?! A scholarship is an amazing opportunity!"  

"Apparently she didn't like the terms of the scholarship." 

"Well, I'm sure she can work it out. Who is she? Your friends daughter. Maybe I can help?" 

"That's what we were both hoping." He said, nodding, the smile still on his face. 

"We?" 

"Me and Paul Robertson." 

"Oh." Was all I could manage, before settling into a tense silence. "Dad look-"

"No Dani! You've done more than enough talking over the past week. Now it's my turn!" He scolded. 

"Alright. I'm sorry." I mumbled, hanging my head. 

"I'm not mad that you're not taking the scholarship." He said, calmer now. 

"You're not?" I asked, surprised.

"No. I'm mad that you didn't tell me or your mother about it! I'm mad that you're not playing anymore, because you are so so so talented! I'm mad that you're still holding a grudge against something you're passionate about and it's because of me." 

"Dad, it's not you-" 

"It's not you, its me? Are you family breaking up with me?" He asked, an amused smirk on his face. 

"Dad!" I playfully said while shoving him. 

"But really Dani, why don't you want to take the scholarship?! It's to Julliard! You've always dreamt of going there." 

"It's an acting and a music scholarship, dad. Julliard made it very clear that I can't do one without the other." I sighed, suddenly becoming very interested with the phone in my hands. 

"So?" My dad asked, not understanding my struggle. 

"I don't play anymore dad. I haven't in a long time." I admitted in a small voice, feeling shameful for some reason. 

"Why?" He asked, after a beat of silence, as if scared of the answer.

Silence filled the room as we looked at each other, both filled with emotion.

"Do you remember when I was 6 and I wanted to learn the guitar?" I asked him after giving my answer some thought.

He laughed at the memory, nodding his head. "You wanted to give up after a week."

"Do you remember what you told me when I didn't want to play anymore?"

"I asked you why you wanted to learn the guitar in the first place." He answered immediately.

"Do you remember what I said?"

"That you wanted to learn because of me. That you knew that if you ever wanted to give up, that I would keep you motivated. You said that you wanted to be just like me." He answered, voice faltering towards the end.

"And I never tried giving up after that." 

"Is that why you stopped playing?" He asked, eyes going wide in realisation, "Because you didn't want to be like me anymore?" 

"I stopped playing because you gave up on us." I deadpanned, "So I became just like you. I gave up too." 

"You're lying." He said simply, a smug smirk on his face. 

"I haven't played the guitar in years. I did give up." I defended, standing my ground." 

"If you truly have given up, you wouldn't still be wearing your grandmother's necklace." 

"That's different." I said immediately, hand flying up to clutch it.

"How so?" 

"She gave me this necklace-" 

"Why?" 

"The reason doesn't-" 

"Of course it does!" He said with a laugh, "Why did she give you that necklace, Dani?" 

"Because she loved me." 

"Other than that?" He asked, making me sigh. 

"Because I didn't give up." 

"Who are you really punishing by not playing anymore?" He asked putting a hand on my shoulder. 

"Myself." I answered, voice cracking. I tried my best to not let the tears flow, lucky for me I've had a lot of practice doing it. 

"Why?" 

"Why'd you leave? Did I do something? Was I not enough? Was I too much? Was-" 

"Is that really why you think I left? Because of you?" He asked, sadness laced in his voice, mouth slightly agape. I said nothing. I only hung my head down, fiddling with my fingers. "Dani." He said, trying to get me to look at him. I didn't. "Is that why you want to leave here as well." 

"No, that's- that's different." I rushed. 

"Danielle." He said, putting a reassuring arm on my shoulder and pulling me in. 

"I thought you left because of me." I confessed, sniffling slightly, although not crying. I never cry. 

"Why?" He asked, trying to see if he could fix this once and for all. 

"Dad, please," I begged, "I don't want-" 

"No, Danielle! I am sick and tired of us fighting. I want to once and for all put this to bed. I've missed out on too much over the years and I don't intend on missing out on anymore. I want a healthy relationship with you and I can't have that with all of these misconceptions in the way." 

"So this is my fault?" I scoffed. 

"Oh stop it, Danielle! I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work." He said firmly, "We're going to clear this once and for all and then you're going to tell me why you want to leave." 

"We were happy, dad." I said, my voice cracking and faltering, "We were such a happy family and then we weren't. We did everything together, then we didn't. We were a family and then we weren't." 

"Danielle you have understand that none of this is your fault." He said, eyes brimming with tears. 

"How?! How can it not be my fault? I play every single conversation in my head again and again trying to figure out what I did wrong. Was it something I said? It probably was, wasn't it." I said with a deflated laugh. "Look dad, I can't do this right now. I have way too much on my mind." 

"No, Dani! We're going to fix this. I need to fix this." He said, begging slightly. 

"What did I do wrong, dad? Why did you leave us? Did you find someone else who made you happy? Was it on one of your 'business trips?'" 

"It started off with a small fight over something stupid, something I can't even remember. Then it was about everything! We were fighting everyday over things that were trivial. We were both stubborn and couldn't admit that we were wrong, both stupid and under so much pressure. We thought that if we kept apart for once or twice a week, we would be better, that it would fix us. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Someone told us that it wored for their relationship so we thought that we would try it. So for a couple of days, I went to a hotel and we didn't talk. It became a routine, then one or two days turned into a week, then into a month. Then I just never came home. We were together but we were never together." 

"Why didn't you come back, dad? You had two children! Mom wasn't even mom anymore. She changed. We changed. We were broken!" 

"I know, sweetheart. Your mom and I decided that if we couldn't fix us, we wouldn't put you in a toxic environment. Our relationship was toxic, sweetie." 

"That wasn't your decision to make!" I cried out. 

"We're your parents! Of course it's our decision!" 

"So it was your decision to let me think that I ruined this family? Your decision to cut my childhood short and your decision to make a 9 year old mother a 2 year old?!" I scoffed, "Great parenting skills. What book did you read that from?" 

"Dani, we thought we were doing the best for you. We didn't know-" 

"How could you not?!" 

"Danielle, please. We honestly thought  we were doing the best for you. We can't change the past but we can change our future." 

"You're right, dad. I know I've been harsh on you and I just....It's going to take me some time to come to terms with this but I'm sorry." 

"No, sweetie. It isn't your fault and you have to realise that it isn't your mother's or my fault either. We thought that we could fix everything. But look on the positive side, if we didn't seperate, your mother wouldn't have gotten Bryan and you wouldn't have met all your friends here." 

"Yeah." I breathed, slumping back on the couch.

"Now tell me, why do you want to leave?" He asked, the mood suddenly becoming lighter as we both visibly relaxed. 

"Well, it's just that-"

_Ding Dong_

"I'll get it." I said, getting up from the couch and dragging my feet to the door, taking a deep breath to calm down and compose myself just in case it was Nathan. 

_Knock knock knock knock_

"God damn, calm your shit. I'm comin-" I said loudly, opening the door before I got cut off by a push. The person on the other side pushed the door opened for themselves even more before shoving me aside and screaming their head off.

"What is wrong with you?!" She screamed, storming past me animatedly, "How dare you up and leave without telling me?!" 

"Hello to you too, [Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_134/set?id=188351749)." I mumbled under my breath before receiving a death glare which shut me up.

"Not the time for your wit." She said pointing a finger at me. 

"But my wit is so....and I'm shutting up." I said before trailing off, her glare getting worse. 

"You didn't even tell me that you were leaving." She said, voice suddenly quiet and filled with sadness. 

"Tee-" 

"No, Dani! I thought we were closer than that." She said, sitting down on the bar stool. 

"We are." I assured sitting next to her. 

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cause I don't even know if I'm going yet." I sighed, crossing my legs and resting my elbow on my knee. 

"Then why..." She said drifting off and thinking. 

"Why did Ashton tell you that I am?" I said finishing up her sentence for her. 

"How do you know Ashton told me and not someone else?" She challenged, cocking her eyebrow. 

"Because he's the only one that I've told." 

"Why are you leaving, Dani?" 

"Tee, things have just gotten so complicated. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad I met you guys but ever since...Tee, I just can't handle the drama anymore." 

"We can figure this out together, Dani. Just please don't go." She begged, looking at me with her glossy doe eyes. 

"Christina..." I breathed, shifting in my seat. She was wearing me down. God damn her and her puppy dog eyes. 

"Look Dani, you only have a month left of summer vacation before you go off to college. Don't you think instead of spending it at home, you should be out here. Regradless of the drama or not, if you only concentrate on that, what kind of holiday will this be for you." She said, taking my hand in hers and convincing me to stay. 

"You're right. I can't concentrate on the negatives." I said, nodding along. 

"So you're staying?" She asked immediately perking up. 

"I guess I am!" I announced jumping out of my seat. 

"Yay!" She celebrated with me, pulling me into a hug. 

"Now what?" I asked. 

"I don't know, really." She confessed, shrugging her shoulders, "I thought I would have to pull out the big guns to get you to stay. Didn't know it would be this easy, to be honest." 

"What are the big guns?" 

"More like, who are the big guns." She said with a smirk. 

"You didn't!" I accused, holding my hands up in surrender. 

"I thought you were leaving! Can you blame me?!" 

"Yes!" I screamed before the front door was opened by Christina and 3 large boys came running in barrading me with questions and explanations; everyone talking over one another.

"Guys!" I tried saying over all the noise, but it was drowned out."Boys!" 

"I thought we were-" 

"And you and I have become such good friends-" 

"Why are you going?!" 

Michael, Calum and Luke kept talking over each other, forming a circle around me while Christina stood by watching us with a smile. 

"Boys!" I screamed as loud as I could which thankfully shut them up. "Can I talk now?" 

"Is it about you leaving?" Luke asked. 

"Yes." 

"Then we don't want to hear it!" Michael protested, all of them covering their ears with their hands. Sigh....How are they 18 and 19 year old's? 

"Boys!" I said again, trying to stifle a giggle. 

"Guys! Hear them out!" Christina said, laughing. 

"Fine." Calum said, sighing. The boys each took a seat between the bar stool and the dining table. 

"Can I finally talk now?" I asked with a little giggle. 

"I guess we have to get around to it sooner or later, right?" Luke said with a sad sigh. 

"I'm not leaving until the end of summer." I announced, bracing myself for the barrade of hugs and cheers. 

"You're not?" I heard from the front door. I turned around, facing the front door. 

"Ashton." I breathed, shocked. 

"But, in the morning you said that you were." He said walking towards me. Unconsciously, I stepped back. 

"Christina stopped me." 

"I guess I was right in telling her then, huh." 

"Wasn't yours to tell." I accused, folding my arms on my chest. 

"I didn't want you to go." 

"I'm going to leave anyway." 

"In a month."

"But not now, Dani." He said, walking towards me until he was towering over me, "You know we have to talk about this morning."

"There's nothing to talk about." I said, shaking my head before looking back at my friends who was now looking slightly uncomfortable at our interaction. "Hey guys you know I haven't been to the beach yet." 

"You live on the beach!" Calum said, laughing at me. 

"But I've never been swimming yet!" I whined playfully. 

"Then let's go!" Christina said, pulling the boys out of the house, leaving only Ashton and I in the room. 

"We have to talk about today." Ashton said. I only shrugged and tried to escape by walking towards my room but Ashton caught my wrist in his hand and pulled me to him. 

"Ashton..." 

"We have to talk about today." 

"No, Ashton! Theres nothing to talk about." 

"So the whole confession about having feelings for me-" 

"Was nothing." I finished for him, twisting my wrist in his hand trying to get it free. "IT was in the heat of the moment and nothing more." 

"So it meant nothing at all?" He asked, scoffing a little, looking like he didn't believe me at all. 

"Nothing in the slightest. I was still drunk from the club and I...I was tired and had no idea what I was saying." 

"Okay then." He said, letting my wrist go. 

"I'll see you on the beach." I said before walking into my room.

"You'll see more than that." He scoffed before walking out the front door. 


	21. Chapter 21

I walked to my closet, trying to figure out what Ashton meant by that statement...Maybe it was his lame version of a comeback? Whatever, I'm not going to even try to figure him out anymore. This is supposed to be a fun day at the beach, even if it didn't start out so fun. I grabbed the first top and pair of shorts I found and laid them out on the bed, trying to find the only bikini I packed for this trip. I didn't think I would be here the whole summer to be honest. You would think that for someone who was going to live on a beach house, you would bring more than one bikini. I really am stupid. When I finally found my bikini, I quickly changed, wearing my crop top and shorts on top of the bikini. [I walked over to the mirror](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_136/set?id=189785482) and started to shake out my hair which was slightly damp from the shower I took in the morning before my day became eventful. I checked the time on the digital clock on my bedside table. 

10.45am. 

I grabbed my phone and speed dialed Nathan's number, putting the call on speaker so that I could gather the rest of my clothes. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi Nate! I miss you!" I said, grabbing a tote bag. 

"Dani!" He whined, "It's only been a day and a half!" 

"Can I not miss my younger brother?" I teased, putting the sunblock in my bag and walking around the room to find other things I may need. "Anyways, what are you doing?" 

"I'm in Harry's house and we-" 

"Wait? Harry's house? I thought you were in the other kid's house? When did you move to Harry's house?" I asked in a frenzy, getting slightly worried. All my movements had stopped and my eyes were focused solely on the phone as if Nathan was actually here. 

"Oh yeah. We moved to Harry's house which is like right down the road. He had the new Halo game and we all wanted to play it, so we just walked." 

"Nate! I've told you about this! You can't do this without telling one of us. What if something had happened and we didn't know where to find you!" I reprimanded him, calming down and packing a towel into the tote bag. 

"Sorry Dani." He said. 

"It's okay, buddy. Just don't do it again." I said, "Do you want me to pick you up tonight or tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow, please." 

"Alright. I'll be there at 5 and then we'll go for a family dinner, okay?" 

He hesitated for a second, as if scared of the response he would get by asking this question, "Is dad coming?" 

"I said family dinner didn't I?" I said monotonously to try and tease him before perking my voice up, "Of course dad is coming!" 

"You guys made up?!" He perked. 

"We did." I said, zipping up my tote bag and putting my phone off speaker mode. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nate. I love you." 

"I love you too." He said before hanging up.

I walked out of my room, tote bag in one hand and my phone in the other. 

"You're finally going to the beach, huh?" My dad asked from behind the kitchen counter, sipping on his coffee. 

"Yeah." I answered with a laugh. "We have reservations for dinner tomorrow." 

"What?" 

"It's a family dinner. We're in dire need of one." 

"Yeah we are." Dad said with a smile, coming over and pulling me into a hug. "Now go and have fun."

"I will. Bye dad."

I put my sunglasses on and walked out of the house, following the directions that Christina texted me to reach where they were on the beach. When I got to where they were I could already see that Luke was rubbing something on Christina's back while Michael and Calum were setting the umbrella's and beach mats down. 

"Why does Luke get to have the fun while we suffer?" Michael grumbled which made me laugh. 

"Dani! You made it!" Calum cheered, running over to me. 

"Are you using me as an excuse so Michael has to do all the work, Hood?" 

"Maybe." He said cheekily.

"Go make yourself useful." I said, laughing while shooing him away. 

"Hey pretty lady." [Christina said](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_135/set?id=189785152). 

"Hello pretty mama." I said back, sitting next to her where a beach mat was already laid out. "Is this all of us?" 

"You know it's not." 

"It was a subtle way of asking if Ashton was coming." 

"Why do you care?" Luke chimed in. 

"I don't." I retorted immediately. 

"Yeah and I'm married to Prince Harry." 

"Is he coming?" I asked, ignoring what she said. 

"He is." 

"Baby, do you want to get in the water?" Luke asked, his face nuzzled in her neck. 

"Yeah, let's go." She said, winking at me before getting up and intertwining her fingers with Luke's. They're such a hot couple, it's unfair. 

I opened my tote bag and took out my sunblock. I took my shirt and shorts off and was left with only my bikini. I could see Calum, Michael, Luke and Christina playing in the water and my face suddenly broke out in a huge grin. I shook my head and started lathering sublock on my skin, starting with my legs. When I got to my back, I couldn't reach it, which made me let out a huge huff. I stretched my hand as far out as possible, but I still couldn't get the spot. 

"Need a hand?" A voice said, taking my hand in his which made me whip my head to look at him. 

"Dylan!" I exclaimed happily. "What are you doing here?" 

"Judging by the fact that I am in swimming trunks and my hair is damp and that I am on a beach, I would say that I am swimming....on a beach." 

"Oh shut up smartypants! You know what I meant!" 

"Would you like to take me up on the offer of giving you a hand with your sunblock?" 

"I don't know who benefits more from this..." I teased, handing him the sunblock and turning around so that he could put on the sunblock easier. 

"Well, we both get something out of it." He said, pushing my hair to one side and then squeezing the sunblock on his hand. 

"Oh yeah? What do we gain?" 

"Well, you don't get your back burnt to a crisp, and I get to make all the boys on this beach jealous." 

"All the boys on this beach jealous?" I said with a laugh, "Who here would be jealous?" 

"For starters, if you turn your head slightly to the right, you'll see a guy in Boardshorts who has steam coming out of his ears." Dylan said, handing me the sunblock back with a wink, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"Is he cute?" I asked without looking so I wouldn't make it obvious. 

"I know you think he is." He said and I could practically feel his smirk. 

"What? How?" I asked and then turned my head to where Dylan was looking only to see Ashton with his mouth in a hard line. Even though he had sunglasses on, I could still tell that his gaze was right at us. His whole body was rigid, his hand was balled in a fist. 

"Told you he was jealous." Dylan whispered in my ear before standing up and offering me his hand. 

"He isn't." I defended, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up. I was standing only in my bikini and I felt the need to suddenly cover up now that I knew Ashton was watching my interaction with Dylan. 

"Oh yeah, he totally isn't jealous and he totally doesn't want to bash my head in for rubbing sunblock on your back." Dylan voiced in an overly sarcastic tone. 

"Oh come off it! You're making it seem as if he's a jealous boyfriend who can't stand the fact that I talk to other guys." 

"He is a jealous boyfriend who can't stand the fact that you're talking to another guy." He said as if it was obvious and before I could retort he added, "More so that you're talking to another guy who took you out on a date and kissed you."

"Maybe he's just angry and looking in our general direction." I chimed in, looking at Ashton again. He looked even more pissed. "He's not...jealous..." 

"He is jealous." Dylan said with a laugh. 

"We're just friends." I stated. 

"It's amusing how you think you guys are just friends." 

"We are!" 

"I don't see Calum, Luke or Michael acting the way he is." Dylan challenged 

"Well they're a little pre-occupied if you haven't noticed." I said pointing at the water where they were all laughing and playing. 

"So is Ashton," Dylan said, face suddenly falling. 

"What are you-" I said while turning, my sentence cut off by my surprised reaction. There he was, laughing at the [blonde hanging off his arm](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_137/set?id=190182143). All that could be seen were her hands on his cheek and her sundress, flowing perfectly on her thin figure. 

"You okay?" Dylan asked sympathetically. 

"Who is she?" I asked, ignoring his question while squinting my eyes as if that would give my eyes zoom. 

"Oh that? That's B-" 

"Bimbo Bitch!" I said with a sigh. Here we go again. 

"What did you call Brittany?" He asked with a laugh. 

"Bimbo bitch?"  

"Is this why you asked about her on our date?" 

"Can you pass me my shirt please?" I asked, pointing at the shirt next to Dylan's knee, while looking at Brittany strip off her dress revealing her perfect body. 

"You're jealous aren't you?" He asked, ignoring my request. 

"Look at her! She's perfect." 

"I meant jealous that she's with Ashton." 

"What? No." I said quickly. 

"You know, you are equally as beautiful than any other girl in here. Dare I say it, you're even more beautiful than all of them put together." He said, sitting in front of me. 

"You're just saying that." I sighed, reaching over to take my shirt when Dylan grabbed my hand to stop me. 

"Would I lie to you?" He said, speaking again before I had the chance to interrupt him, "Hell, I'm rooting for both you and Ashton to get together even when I like you. Do you think I would actually be doing that if I were a good liar?" 

"Aww Dylan!" I said and engulfed him in a hug.

"Sorry to interrupt the lovefest." Ashton said, towering over us with a scowl on his face. 

"Hey man!" Dylan said, pulling away from the hug and looking up at Ashton. "Yo, how did you get that nasty bruise?" 

"You think this is bad? You should've seen the other guy." He scoffed cockily. 

"If you were fighting him, I have no doubt he would at least have a couple of broken bones."

"Keep that in mind." He said, taking off his sunglasses and stripping off his t-shirt.

"Hey Ashton." I said with a small smile on my face. He looked at me and nodded.

"Could you two be anymore obvious." Dylan scoffed, making both of us look at him incredulously. "Oh did I say that out loud?"

"Ashy!" A shrill voice yelled, making Ashton wince. He looked at Bimbo Bitch who waved him over to the water.

"Looks like you're needed." I commented, rolling my eyes.

"At least she's honest about what she wants." Ashton said with a glare.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh I don't know Miss-It-Was-In-The-Heat-Of-The-Moment."

"At least that's better than Mr.Oh-I-Say-You're-Special-But-Really-You're-Just-Another-Number."

"Oh yeah Miss-I-say-I'm-Not-A-Damsel-In-Distress-Yet-I-Needed-Ashton's-Help-To-Punch-That-Dick-Out."

"At least I'm better than-"

"You guys have so much U.S.T." Dylan said with a laugh, interrupting our fight.

"What the hell is U.S.T?" I asked

"Unresolved sexual tension." He said like it was a matter of fact.

"We don't have sexual tension." I defended.

"We have great sexual tension!" Ashton said offended that I didn't think so. 

"Why are you even defending this?" 

"Because I-"

"Ashy!" Bimbo Bitch said, shrillier than before. I don't even know how in the world that could be possible, but her voice came out shrillier and whinier than before. Honestly, it made me want to bash her head in with a rock. Unfortunately, that is frowned upon. 

"Just go, Ashton." I said, trying not to sound disappointed, "You brought her along, now go act like a good date. Shouldn't be too hard. Lord knows, you've had plenty of practice." 

"Dani!" Dylan exclaimed, shocked at my words. 

"What? It's true!" I said, shrugging my shoulders while Ashton walked away from us, shaking his head. 

"Is this how all your interactions go, or was this just a one time thing....?" 

"No. This is pretty much it." I said, getting off the beach mat and holding out my hand to Dylan, "Want to go for a swim?" 

"With pleasure." He said, taking my hand and pulling himself up, wrapping his hand around my shoulder as we walked to the ocean.

Hours passed us by as we swam in the ocean, played chicken, watched as Michael and Calum failed at picking up girls in bikini's. It honestly felt like a montage in a movie when the directors want to show the progression of the movie, without actually taking up much time. 

The boys and Christina were at the shack getting food while Brittany and I stayed back. Both of us were in the toilet, changing out of our sandy, wet bikini's. [She was already](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_140/set?id=190890375)outside and changed once [I had changed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_138/set?id=190183840) into my clean, thankfully dry clothes. I walked next to her and looked in the mirror, drying my damp hair with my towel while she was doing her make-up. 

"How do you do that?" I asked curiously, looking at her reflection in the mirror. 

"Do what? Eyeliner?" She asked, still putting on her eyeliner. 

"Yeah. I can't really do make-up well. Christina always does it for me." 

"Want me to teach you?" She asked with a smile. 

"If Christina hasn't had any success yet, I doubt you will." I said with a laugh. 

"I'll give it my best shot." She said, finishing off her winged tip before smiling at me. 

We spent the next ten minutes laughing at my fails. 

"Yeah, so now you just..." Brittany said, guiding my hand to flick the tip of the felt tip before smiling at her success, "And...voila!" 

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled. "Not bad for a rookie, huh." 

"Brilliant!" She complimented flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"I knew this would come sooner or later." She said with a knowing smile. 

"What?" 

"Were you going to ask me about Ashton?" 

"What? Pshttt...no!" 

"Danielle..." She said with a lopsided smile. 

"Okay, fine. I was." I admitted in a small voice, looking at the mirror to start doing my hair. 

"Ask away." 

"Wait, how do I know if you're telling the truth? We practically hate each other." 

"Do we actually hate each other or is that just a facade?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow. 

"How can I actually trust you though?" 

"Danielle, don't you think that if I was actually a bitch, I would be this nice to you? That I would teach you how to slay at putting on eyeliner? That I would willingly let you ask me questions about Ashton?" 

"Okay. I believe you." I said before adding, "Ish" in a hushed whisper. 

"I heard that." She said immediately before chuckling, "Now ask away." 

"Well, I wondering what you and Ashton actually are-" 

"It's-" 

"Please don't tell me that 'it's complicated', or that 'it's Ashton's story to tell, not mine' or even, 'It's a long story.'"  I sighed, getting sick and tired of these petty excuses, "I just want to know the truth." 

"You've already taken all the good excuses," Brittany said laughing, but I stayed stoic, still focusing on my braid in the mirror. 

"Please," I said with a sigh, "I'm tired of this whole thing. I just need to know." 

"Tired of what? The constant wondering of what you and Ashton are? Knowing that you're just there without any explanation of what's actually happening between you two? The pushing and pulling? Tired of good days and bad days?" 

"Something like that." I said in a small voice. I instantly felt bad for her. "Why do you put up with it?" 

"Why do you?" 

"I don't." I retorted. 

"Don't you?" She challenged. 

"I'm ignoring him now, aren't I?" 

"Is that what that was with Dylan?" She asked coyly. 

"Dylan? What? No. We're just friends." 

"Just like how you and Ashton are just friends?" 

"This is about you and Ashton not me." I said wanting to get off this topic, "What is going on between you two?" 

"It runs deeper than just a relationship, Danielle." 

"What does that mean?" 

"It's complicated." She said with a laugh, looking at me through the mirror as I finished off the braid. I sighed and shook my head a little, careful not to mess up the braid. 

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Nobody around here ever gives me a straight answer." I exclaimed, frustrated. 

"I'm not surprised Ashton or anyone else hasn't told you, to be honest." She said, shrugging her shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. 

"Yeah? Why not?" 

"It's not something that we can just blurt out. Not many people know other than Ashton and his family and my family, of course. I'm sure Luke and the boys only know bits and pieces." 

"What's so complicated about your relationship anyway? Did you guys kill someone and are now sworn to secrecy or something?" I asked with a sarcastic laugh, eyes suddenly popping out of my sockets when I was met with silence, "Oh my god! You guys didn't actually kill someone did you? This isn't like I Know What You Did Last Summer, is it?" 

"Of course not you oaf!" She said laughing as she watched me put my hat on in the mirror. "Come on, Miss Impatient. We're going to be late for the bonfire."

"How often do you guys have bonfire's anyway? I swear, everytime I see you guys, you're either at a party or at a bonfire. Do you guys not have anything else to do?" I asked with a laugh as we exited the bathroom together and walked to the rest of the group. We were both laughing while the restof the group just stared at us.

"What? Did we forget to put pants on?" Brittany said, looking down at our legs. 

"I think it's because we're not at each other's throat..." I leaned into her and whispered. 

"Whatever. At least I won't be used as a prop anymore." She said, giving me a subtle wink. 

"You could make this easier on both of us and tell me why you put up with his shit." I said, hopeful. 

"Nice try, Danielle, but it's not going to work." She said, patting my arm before walking towards Ashton, "Oh and it's definitely not going to work with you calling me all those nicknames." I winced at her comment, knowing very well which nickname she was referring to - Bimbo Bitch. But before I could even say anything, she was taking her seat next to Ashton on the log. Ashton was sat next on a log that was placed adjacent to Calum and Michael's log. Each log was making a square around the fire. It was literally just like the movies and for a second, nothing seemed real. It all seemed so staged somehow. I shrugged off the thought and sat on Dylan's left, next to Christina who was sat next to Luke, obviously. Ahh, the honeymoon stage. 

"What was that about?" [Christina asked immediately](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=191166144&new_publish=on) after my butt was on the log. 

"Huh?" 

"Are you suddenly besties with Bimbo Bitch?" 

"Yeah, let's not call her that anymore," I said with a worried laugh. 

"Is that winged eyeliner? Did she do that for you?" Christina asked, tone growing more and more pissed. 

"Yeah. She taught me how to as well." I said with a smile, not noticing the change of her tone. 

"Wow. You spend ten minutes with her and already she's your best friend." She scoffed. 

"Tee, are you jealous of Brittany?" I asked trying to stiffle my giggle. 

"Why would I be jealous of Bimbo Bitch?" She said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. "She's a bimbo and a bitch." 

"Would've never guessed from the nickname." I mumbled, causing her to glare at me. "Tee, we're not even friends. Just accquaintances. " 

"I swear you guys are more of a couple than we are." Luke interjected, making Christina glare at him which made me giggle a little. "I'm shutting up...." He said quickly making conversation with Calum. 

"Tee, I just complimented her on her winged eyeliner as a ruse to get her to talk about her and Ashton's relationship." I said fibbing a little. 

"And did she?" 

"Not even a little." I sighed, disappointed

"Not even a little bit. Not even at all?" 

"Did you just quote 10 Things I Hate About You?" 

"Let me live, Danielle!" She said playfully before joining the rest of the group in pointless conversation. The sun was setting, changing the colour of the sky minute by minute. I tuned out the conversation that the group was having and just watched the sunset. I watched as the Earth used the sky as its personal canvas, painting infinite beauty in a million different colours. Each little part of the sky having its own beauty, yet none of us able to catch the full picture. I watched as the Earth slowly rotated, letting its warm glow set and soak all around me. 

"Dani," Dylan said, snatching me from my thoughts. I looked at him and gave him a small smile. "You okay?" 

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, you kind of just zoned out on all of us." Calum said. 

"I just love the sun and the sky." I said vaguely. 

"She literally sits there and just admires the beauty of the sky. Sunrises are her favourite." Ashton commented with a laugh making me look at him so fast that it gave me whiplash. He suddenly stopped when he realised all the attention was on him.

"And you know this how...?" Brittany asked and I looked away, being reminded that whatever was going on between them was way too complicated to be more involved in than I already was. Reminding me that even if I thought Ashton and I could possibly have a chance, it could never happen. 

"Yeah Ashton. How  _do_  you know this?" Luke said in a warning tone, cocking one eyebrow at him. 

"We...Sometimes we bump into each other." He said, stumbling over his words. 

'When?" 

"Here and there." He said quickly, looking around to find something, anything to get the attention off him. 

"But Ashton," Michael said with a sly grin, "You love your sleep. So why would you be awake so early in the morning walking around?" 

"Sometimes I can't sleep, okay!" He said visibly agitated, "Can we move on?" 

"Yeah, yeah, sure but only after you answer my question." Calum said, catching on to what was happening. I kept my head down, cursing the fact that my hair was in a braid so it couldn't shield my face. 

"Calum...." Ashton warned. 

"Where do you usually bump into her?" He continued, ignoring Ashton's warning. 

"Calum!" He said, voice growing more tense, more stern. 

"Dani doesn't know this place well so she would probably walk around this area. Maximum two miles away. And you Ashton, you now this place very well, don't you? Your house is like 10 minutes away but you have a car...So Ashton, I'm going to ask you one more time before I literally spell it out for you and everyone else. Where do you usually bump into her?"  

"Calum." I said softly. The tension was growing between everyone. 

"Guys come on! This is supposed to be fun." Christina interjected. 

"I'm going to go to the bathroom for a second..." I said in a soft voice that I wasn't sure was even audible before quickly getting up and hurrying off into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and locked it, not caring that there could be other people who would want to use the cubicles in the shared bathroom. I sighed and walked to the mirror, looking at my reflection. Whenever I watched movies, I always thought that whenever a character did this - the whole looking at my reflection in times of emotional distress, that they were being super melodramatic. That annoyed me. But, I finally understand why they do it. Looking in the mirror grounds you. You look at your own reflection and you try not to break down, you try your hardest to keep it in. Your reflection is your anchor. You're your own anchor. You can make the decision of what you're going to do next.

"So Danielle," I spoke to my reflection, "What are you going to do?"

That question was the trigger. Everything in my head just exploded. An onslaught of questions threw themselves at me and I couldn't handle it. My hands flew to my ears in hopes of stopping it.

Why were they doing this? Why were they suddenly so interested in Ashton and me? In Ashton's midnight quests. Was I just another quest? Was this his plan all along? To make me another number? Was I really just another number? Am I next on his list? What about Brittany? Why won't anyone tell me about Brittany and him? Did he really drive all the way here in the middle of the night in hopes of meeting with me? How did he knows sunrises were my favourite? Maybe I'm not another one of his quests? What is going to happen now?

"Stop it!" I screamed.

Silence.

I sighed both in relief and disappointment.

Relief that there was finally silence again.

Disappointment that I'm letting all these stupid questions into my head. When did this one stupid teenage, hormonal boy control my thoughts? How did I let it get this far? 

He's just another boy, Dani. Just another hormonal, teenage boy. 

_But no teenage boy has ever made you feel the way he has..._

I looked in the mirror once again, shaking away those thoughts. I turned the faucet on and splashed my face with water before wiping it clean with the tissue paper. I unlocked the door of the bathroom and started to walk out, seeing a small flicker of fire where my friends were sat. I sighed and started to walk before my hand was yanked back. 

"Oof!" I said from the impact. I thought I was going to fall but I only bumped into something hard. I closed my eyes, really hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. I opened them and looked up only to find that my hopes were crushed. "What now, Ashton?" 

"We need to talk." He said, voice mimicking his stance and face - hard. 

"If there's one thing we don't need to do, it's talk." I said before yanking my hand away and starting to back up. 

"Really, Dani? Nothing to talk about at all?" He said with a scoff before folding his arms over his chest. 

"Nothing I can think of." I answered with a shrug. 

"Really? So what happened this morning-" 

"Nothing happened this morning, Ashton." I interrupted. 

"You sure seem to be saying nothing a whole lot." He commented, cocking his eyebrow to make a point.

"Maybe it's because there's  _nothing_ to say." 

"So everything you said this morning about me-" 

"Was just in the heat of the moment." I said as if it meant nothing to me, eyes darting around to look anywhere but him. I knew that if I looked at him, I would feel guilty again. I put him in a position he shouldn't have been in the first place. The purple bruise contrasts so much with his perfect porcelain skin.

"Really, Dani?" He said scoffing and shaking his head, "So you mean to tell me, that you opening up to me was a lie? That all the conversations we've had has all been in the heat in the moment? All the kisses that we've shared was also in the heat of the moment That-"

"Yes Ashton! Whatever I've said and done has all just been one big, huge, enormous-" I started to say but was cut off by Ashton pulling me flush towards him by my wrist. I gasped, taken offguard by his actions.

"Tell me that again." He said, bringing one hand up to cup my cheek. "Tell me whatever bullshit you were going to cook up."

"Everything's just one huge...." I said, squirming to get away from his grip. I couldn't bare to be so close to him and pretend that I felt nothing. Because I did. I felt everything. I was burning up and I couldn't control it.

"Look at me." He said in a whisper, moving his hand under my chin to push it up. So I did.  I saw how his eyes darkened when I looked at him. I saw how he smiled when I looked at him and I didn't want that smile to ever leave his face. I saw his dimples, oh gosh his damn dimples. Then I saw the bad.... 

I saw the dark purple bruise tainting his face and the memories behind it. I saw the way he masked his pain behind those hazel eyes. I saw how there was only one dimple rather than two. 

"Tell me the truth, Dani." Ashton said, breaking me away from my thoughts, "Tell me the truth about this morning." 

"I..." I started to say, trying to break away from his eyes, "It was in the hea-" Before I could even finish my sentence, Ashton cupped my cheek and brought his lips down to mine. My hands stayed firmly by my side, eyes wide with shock. His lips were moving against mine, but I didn't move. I couldn't. It was like my brain was frozen thus freexing all other parts of me. 

"Dani." He whispered, pulling away. "Stop thinking, Dani. Just feel." And as light as a feather, he ghosted his lips over mine, as if feeling his way through, making me want him as much as he wanted me. He pecked my lips once, twice and then crashed his lips to mine. His hands travelled from my cheeks, to my shoulders, dancing all the way down before intertwining his fingers with mine. I was still frozen on the spot, eyes still wide open but processing nothing. He brought both my hands around his neck, letting them interlock themselves there while he rested his hands on my waist. 

Then it clicked. 

Ashton was kissing me and I was doing shit all. Should I kiss him back? I want to. Hell, if I could, I wouldn't ever let his lips leave mine. What was I doing? Oh right, still not kissing him back. So I did. My eyes fluttered shut and my fingers locked together behind his neck and I pulled him closer to me. Our lips were moving together creating a beautiful symphony. I could feel him grinning into the kiss as his grip on my waist got tighter. I pulled him closer to me and he pulled me closer to him. It was as if we couldn't get closer to each other. 

"Ashy, the group sent me here to check on you tw-oh." 

Brittany's voice caused us to break apart, but not fast enough. She stood frozen as we tried to unlock ourselves from each other. 

"Uhhh, the group sent me here to check on why you guys were taking so long. Guess I know now." She said before fake laughing and walking away. 

"We can't do that anymore." I said immediately, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. 

"It's funny how you keep saying that, yet look what we keep doing." 

"Well, I'm serious this time." 

"So now you and Brittany are best friends and you're suddenly worried about girl code or something?" 

"It has nothing to do with Brittany." I defended. 

"Bull-frickin'-shit." 

"Fine maybe it does!" 

"So you lied to me? What else could you be lying about?" He pretended to speculate before coming to a conclusion, "Oh right! Your feelings about me!" 

"There are no feelings-" 

"Sure there aren't. I'm sure you go around kissing every guy the way you kiss me." He said before adding, "Wait. I'm the only guy you've kissed here. Guess we have no way of testing out that theory." 

"I've kissed Dylan!" I argued. 

"And who did you make out with after, Dani?" He said with a grin before pointing at himself. 

"Oh get over yourself, asshole."

"I'm sure that's your position, babe."

"Ugh! Why I like you is beyond me. You're such a dick. I swear it's like all the asshole-" 

"What did you just say?" He asked, eyes wide with shock. 

"That you're an asshole. Are you not paying attent-" 

"You just admitted that you like me." 

"What? No. I have no romantical feelings for you at all." I said in a rush.

"You like me." He said with a grin, "Well, I mean I knew that already. But you just admitted it." His grin grew wider, stretched all the way to his ears, dimples so deep I could sit in them...That's so weird, but it's so true. They're so deep, if ever there was a flood we could use Ashton's dimples to scoop out all the water and have a pool party. What am I even saying? Ugh, he's so cute. Stupid Australian charm, and that stupid dimple on his left cheek. Stupid chubby cheeks. Stupid beautiful eyes that are like 10 different colours. Stupid floppy, curly, soft hair. 

"What?" I asked, coming out of my daze. 

"Did you hear anything I just said?" 

"No. I'm pretty sure it's not worth repeating anyway." I brushed him off, knocking that grin off his face which physically hurt me, "We have to get back to everyone. So uhh, I guess I'll see you there." I said, pointing to the group before breaking away from the situation. Just as I was walking down the stairs, I heard him say something that stopped me in my tracks. 

"I like you too, Danielle. And I have no idea how much obvious I can get."


	22. Chapter 22

"Mornin' kiddo!" Dad greeted as he walked to the kitchen counter to grab a cup of coffee. [I was staring](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_142/set?id=191712251) at my mug of coffee and didn't register the greeting. He seemed to notice that something was up because as soon as he looked up from pouring his coffee, he sat opposite me on the dining table and placed his hand over mine. "Kiddo, you okay?" 

"What?" I asked, breaking out of my thoughts to look at him. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing, dad. I'm alright. Just a little tired, I didn't get much sleep last night." I said with a small smile.

"You did come home pretty early yesterday from the beach. Is this about that boy?" 

"What? Uhh no. It's not. I'm fine." I said, words spewing out of my mouth before I could even register.

"You're just like your mother." He said with a laugh. 

"How so?" 

"You're both terrible liars." 

"Dad..." I said with a sigh, looking down at my black mug. I played with the handle, fiddling with it in hopes that maybe it would distract me, distract my dad. 

"I am your dad, you know. You can tell me things." 

"There's nothing to tell." I said attempting to give him a smile, "I've got it." 

"I don't know where you got the twisted idea that you have all the world's burdens resting on your delicate little shoulders, but sweetie, you don't. You can talk about it. You can be vulnerable, sweetheart. There is no harm in asking for help." 

"Dad, it's not that. It's just that...I mean...I can't just..." I tried to articulate how I was feeling like he said, but it just wasn't that simple. So I settled for the lamest, most cliched line that everyone seemed to use in this town, "It's complicated."

"Let's break it down then." He offered, "Let's start by what happened yesterday." 

~~~

_"I like you too, Danielle. And I have no idea how much more obvious I can get."_

_"You what?" I asked in shock, stopping in my tracks._

_"I like you, Dani. A lot. I swear everyone but you knows it."_

_"Ashton....You're just saying that." I breathed, shellshocked._

_"No," He said with a nervous laugh, "I'm not and dammit, you can't tell me how I feel about you."_

_"Look Ashton, this isn't-"_

_"I swear to God Dani, if you tell me some bullshit about the heat of the moment and how this isn't us that's speaking but our hormones, I seriously will kill someone."_

_"Well...I just...I need to go." I decided, running my fingers through my hair and letting out a huge breath that I didn't even know I was holding in._

_"What? Why?" Ashton said, catching up and pulling my forearm back._

_"Ashton, I can't do this right now." I begged, trying to get his fingers off my arm._

_"What's the problem, Dani? You like me and I like you. What the hell is stopping us?"_

_"You not telling me the truth about anything!" I screamed, yanking my arm away from his vice grip. "How the hell am I supposed to trust you when you can't tell me the truth about anything?! About the dates? About Brittany?!"_

_"If you'd given-"_

_"No Ashton! This is not my fault so don't you dare blame this on me! You have had more than enough chances. So when you want to come clean, you know where to find me. But right now, I just....I can't" I said before walking away from the comfort of the soft sand to the hard, cold, rocky tar._

~~~

"Do you like him, Dani?" My dad asked, sincerity filling his eyes. 

"Dad, it's not-" 

"Yes or no? Do you like him?" 

I nodded. 

"Does he like you?" 

I nodded. 

"Then, what seems to be the problem?" 

"Trust." I said simply, "I don't think I can trust him, dad. He doesn't tell me the truth about anything. Every time I ask him a question he avoids the topic and I just...I can't be with someone I can't trust." 

"What did he do?" 

"Dad, I just told you." I said exasperatedly. 

"No you didn't, Dani. You told me that he didn't tell the truth, you didn't tell me what he did." 

"He just..." I said and sighed, "He took me on this date-" 

"You went on a date!" He asked, shocked.

"We can talk about that later, dad." I said with a pointed look. 

"You are not getting away with that conversation." He said wagging a finger at me, "Now, continue."

"He took me on this date and...God, we had such a great time and boom! The next day, I find out that he's taken all his endeavours there." I said with a hurt laugh, "How can I be so stupid?!" 

"Are you hurt that he's been with other girls?" Dad asked, trying to see the bigger picture. 

"God no! I don't care about how many girls he's been with before me. I'm hurt that he's treated me like any other girl. He literally did the same damn thing on our date that he did with the rest of them. I don't just want to be another girl, dad. I think I deserve more than that." 

"What do you want to be to him?" 

"What?" I asked, shocked that my dad would even bring that up. 

"This wouldn't be bothering you if he was just another guy, Dani." He said, placing his hand over mine and giving me an undeerstanding smile. "He's not just another boy is he though, Dani?" 

"No, he isn't." I said. Suddenly, my chest felt a little lighter, as if admitting this out loud helped. 

"How do you feel now that you've said that out loud?" 

"It scares me to death, dad. There's just something about him that makes me weak in the knees. His smile, his laugh, the way he understands me. How he's even willing to drive all the way out here at 5 in the morning just to sit with me." I gushed, chills running down my spine, "I don't know what to do and I'm scared." 

"Listen sweetie, no one can control what's going to happen. I can't, mom can't, you can't. But all you can do is have no regrets and as cliched as this is going to sound, the only way you can make that happen is by listening to your heart. So even when something goes wrong, like unbelievably wrong, you will still be happy because you know that you followed your heart and in the end, even if it seems impossible, everything will be alright." 

"Dad that's just-" 

"Shh, Dani." He said, knowing that I would protest against the cliche, "Your grandma always told me,  _Give your life to someone who can give you his heart, but sacrifice your pride to someone who will perish in your love._ " 

"Dad you know I don't believe in all that bullshit-" 

"You may not believe in love sweetheart, but he certainly does." 

"You don't know that, dad." I said with a scoff. 

"Call it father's intuition, but I do know." He said with a knowing smirk before asking me, "Is that all that's been bothering you? The fact that you're scared about your feelings for him?" 

"No, dad." I said, tears prickling my eyes, but as usual, I blinked them away, "It's just the back and forth that he and I have." 

"What do you mean by back and forth?" 

"Well, this one day, we kissed and then a couple of-" 

"Woah, woah, woah." Dad said, interrupting me, "You guys kissed?" 

"Dad! Not now!" 

"We will talk about this later." He said, cocking his eyebrow. 

"So we kissed and then a couple of hours later I see him kissing another girl. Like full on making out kind of kiss! Right in front of me too!" I complained animatedly. 

"So you don't know if he wants to be with you or not?" 

"Exactly, dad! It's like taking one step forward and two steps back with him." I say shaking my head. 

"Honey, why don't you just ask him?" 

"As if I haven't tried that! No one in this town ever gives me a straightforward answer about anything!" I scoffed

"What did you ask?" 

"What they mean to each other. What their relationship is. What they are. What they were..." I sighed, "I just want to know, dad." 

"Why?" 

"Why I want to know?" I asked him. He didn't say anything, he just smiled, "I don't." 

"Don't shut down, Dani. Don't do it. I know you're scared and I know that you don't want to feel what you feel - but Dani, embrace it. Sure you don't believe in love, but you do believe in happiness. Don't shut down now, sweetheart." 

"Dad, I just...I can't" I said, shaking slightly. 

"Why do you want to know?" 

"...Because I like him and I want there to be an us." I said in a voice barely softer than a whisper.  

"So, what's stopping you?" He said with a grin on his face, as if he already knew that he'd won this pep talk. 

"I...The girl?" I asked more than said. 

"What about the girl?" 

"The fact that I still don't know what they are to each other." 

"Don't you think that if she actually meant something to him, that he would be after you?" 

"Well-" 

"Dani, sweetie, don't do this to yourself. I know you're scared but don't let your reservations ruin what actually could be a good relationship." He said, before pausing, "What are you scared of, anyway? Heartbreak?" 

"Dad, I'm only here for like, another month or so...Less than that, maybe." I sighed, biting my lip, "I can't put him...or even me in that position." 

"Darling, I hate to say this, but heartbreak is inevitable. I mean, I hate to use this example, but look at your mother and me. We both went through heartbreak, it was the hardest, most painful thing that I had to go through, but we did it. We're happy now and hell, we're friends too! At some point in your life, be it with this guy, or even another one, you're going to have to go through it as well. It's heart-wrenching, and it feels as if your heart has shattered in a million pieces, but you'll get through it. We'll get through it. Even if it means watching 8 hours worth of netflix and going through endless amounts of pizza and ice cream." 

"Thanks, dad." I said, getting up off the chair and hugging him. 

"Anytime, sweetheart." He said with a smile, "Now, was that kiss before or after your date?" 

~~~

"Dad! I'm going to pick Nathan up from Harry's and then we can go to dinner!" [I announced](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_143/set?id=191712399)through the house, being too lazy to go find him, lacing up my shoes in my room. 

"Do you have your license with you?" He asked, peeking his head in my room. 

"Yeah. Why?" I asked confused, grabbing my phone off the bed and standing up. 

"Here, take the car." He said, tossing the keys to me. "Cheaper than taking a cab everywhere, anyway."

"Awesome!" I said, hugging him and running out the front door. I climbed into the car, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I turned on the GPS, routing it to Harry's house before blasting the radio. 

I parked on the roadside, music still blasting. I rested both my hands on the steering wheel as I thought about what I would say when I walked up to the front door. How should I act? Should I pretend like yesterday's confession meant nothing? Should I ignore the fact that he admitted that he liked me after we made out? What should I do? I took into consideration the long heart-to-heart talk that dad and I had. I took a deep breath, turned the car engine off and walked up to the Irwin's front door. 

_Ding Dong_

I bit my lip in anticipation of who would answer the front door. 

Harry? Ashton? Mrs. Irwin? 

I could hear the door handle rattle before it opened. 

"Harry." I said, slightly disappointed. 

"Nathan! Your sister is here!" Harry shouted before stepping aside to let me in. 

"Oh, uhh, I'm not coming in." I said in a rush, not even realising that those words tumbled out of my mouth. 

"Ashton's not here. It's safe to come in." He said nonchalantly. 

"What?" I said, curiosity bubbling to the surface.

"Ashton's not home. You can come in, it's not it would matter anyway." 

"Uhh, I'll just wait out here." 

"Just ask me what you're dying to ask me." He said, with an annoyed expression on his face. 

"I'm not-"

"He's gone out with Luke and only Luke." He said, rolling his eyes, "You guys couldn't be more angsty and obvious even if you tried."

"How old are you again?" I asked, surprised at his words. 

"Nathan!" Harry screamed again. The young boy ran down the stairs, stuffing some clothes into his bagpack, racing towards the front door, panting slightly. 

"Hey sis." He greeted, doing a handshake with Harry before waving goodbye and walking past me, towards the familiar car. I stood there, blinking blankly. 

"Seriously, both of you couldn't be more obvious even if you tried," Harry said, cocking an eyebrow before waving and shutting the door. 

"Dani! Come on!" Nathan shouted from the car, urging me to hurry. 

"What just happened?" I muttered to myself, walking to the car, Harry's words and my father's words still swirling in my mind. 

~~ 

"Kids! Are you ready to go?" Dad bellowed through the house. 

"Dani's still getting ready." I heard Nathan say from outside, the sounds of the television blaring in the background. 

"Danielle!" I heard from outside my room door. 

"Five minutes, dad!" I screamed back, pulling my messy, wavy hair away from my face and into a messy ponytail. Getting a ponytail to be messy really is more work than any other hairstyle. I huffed in frustration, trying one last time before giving up. I spritzed some perfume on myself and tried to do eyeliner the way that Brittany taught me. After what was obviously more than five minutes, I stepped away from the mirror and [deemed myself worthy enough](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_144/set?id=191712826) to step out of the house.

"Did I ever tell you kids that your mother and I hated each other when we met?" Dad said as we hit a red light. I was fiddling with the radio and Nathan had just finished giving us the play by play about what he did at Harry's. 

"Did you really, dad?" Nathan asked excitedly. 

"Yeah we did. We were in high school when we met and for 3 years, we despised each other!" He said with a laugh, recalling the events. 

"Why?" I asked, finding a song I liked and turning the volume down so we could hear what he said. 

"We are very competitive people by nature. Everything she entered, I entered just to spite her and vice versa. We were always competing, be it in Biology or even Debate." He said shaking his head, laughing. 

"How did you guys fall in love?" Nathan asked with a cheeky smile. I smiled as well, knowing that even when my dad wasn't with my mom, he still had memories than Bryan will never have. Mom was his first love, and will forever be his first love (whether or not I believe in love). 

"It was funny really," He says with the biggest grin on his face, "We were always pitted against each other until senior year when our Chemistry teacher paired us up, being fed up with our war. By the end of the project we were friends and not enemies anymore. For me, that's where I started to like her." 

"Cliche!" I yelled before bursting out in laughter. 

"I think it's cute!" Nathan announced as dad drove up to the valet parking.

"Reservations under Walker." Dad said as we walked into the restaurant. We waited for the guy in the pretentious fancy suit to look through the book and find our names. He gave us a polite, fake smile as he picked up a couple of menu's and walked us to our table. He pulled the seat out for me and I sat down, looking around the room. 

"Hey Dani, look!" Nathan said, pointing at a table that was three tables diagonal from us, "Isn't that Ashton with the blonde mean girl from volleyball?" 

"Yeah, Nate. It is." I said with a sad sigh, gaze still on them. 

"Dani. You alright, sweetie?" Dad asked, putting his reassuring hand over mine. 

"That's the boy and girl I was telling you about from this morning." I said not averting ym gaze from the table. Ashton was with [Brittany](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_145/set?id=191807127) and her father. They seemed happy. What was even worse was that she looked absolutely beautiful and elegant whereas, I looked drabby and dull. I was wearing a plain dress and she was wearing a classy romper. No wonder he likes her better. Brittany leaned in and rested her head on Ashton's shoulder, whispering something in his ear.  

"Dad, when was your first kiss with mom?" Nathan asked in an attempt to distract me. It didn't work. 

"You cheeky boy, you!" Dad teased, pinching Nathan's cheeks. Sometimes we forget that Nathan is 11 years old rather than 5. 

"Come on, dad! Tell us." I say, tearing my eyes away from the happy 'couple'. Honestly who even knows what they are, anymore. Granted, I never knew what they were, but that's not the point. I decided that I'm going to let them ruin my evening. It was a family dinner and that's what it's going to be about - Family and nothing else.

"It was during prom, right after the king and queen were crowned. Oh, I remember it like it was just yesterday," He said with a smile. My eyes kept darting over to the table, hoping that maybe I would find a sign that Ashton didn't want to be there, that maybe someone else would walk in and sweep Brittany off her feet rather than Ashton. "We went with different people, your mom and I. I had the biggest crush on her but I didn't have the courage to ask her. I was at the punch table when the prom king and queen were crowned and they were asked to dance. I was looking at them when suddenly I saw this girl, all alone on a table. God, [she was beautiful](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=192286364)." 

"Dad! Skip to the good part, already!" Nathan whined which made both of us laugh. 

"I walked over to her table and I asked what a beautiful girl like her was doing all alone. She laughed, but it wasn't a laugh like you would laugh at a joke, it was more of a sad one. She asked me where my date was and I remember saying  _Missing out on all the fun._  Then she laughed, her real laugh. My line was so stupid, yet she laughed and that was the moment I fell in love with her. I asked her to dance, well more like dragged her out on the dance floor, but same thing. Frank Sinatra's My Funny Valentine was playing-"

"Didn't that come out in like 1950?" I interrupted, making Nathan glare at me.

"Someone requested it as some throwback to the 50's song." He answered, taking a bite of his food, "I was singing along to the song as we were slow dancing and just as it ended, we looked at each other and smiled, and we leaned in and kissed."

"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable," I quoted with a laugh, "That was your first song and first kiss?" 

"Yet you're my favourite work of art." He countered, "It's fitting if you think about it. We hated each other and then we loved each other, despite our flaws."

"So you basically stole someone's date and kissed them?" I teased, pointing my fork at him.

"You know, the funny thing is that our dates ended up together and your mom and I ended up together."

"Switch-A-Rooney!" Nathan said excitedly.

"Fate just has a way of bringing people together, even if they aren't meant to be in the long run." Dad said with a wise smile. I glanced at Ashton who still hasn't realised that I was in the same restaurant as him.

"Maybe we just aren't meant to be, then." I muttered to myself with a sigh.  

"You know Dani, sometimes-" 

"Are my eyes deceiving me or is Robin Walker really here and not cooped up in his office?" 

"Paul, my man!" Dad said, getting up and shaking hands with Mr. Robertson. 

"Brittany, Ashton, come meet my oldest friend, Mr. Robin Walker." Mr. Robertson gushed, hand still on my dad's shoulder. 

"Hello sir, so nice to finally meet the friend that my dad can't stop gushing about." Brittany greeted with poise and elegance. This was a complete 180 from the Bimbo that I was used to seeing. It was half the Brittany that I saw in the toilet's yesterday - poised, elegant, the daughter of Mr. Paul Robertson. 

While the three of them were talking, Nathan was looking at me sympathetically, as if he already knew what I was feeling. Imagine that, an 11 year old boy knows what I'm feeling more than the idiotic teenager that was standing in front of me. Both of us trying to avoid each other's eyes. 

"And this is my daughter, who I'm sure you've already had the pleasure of meeting." Dad said with a laugh. 

"Ahh yes, the girl who is playing hard to get." Mr. Robertson said, which made my eyes literally pop out of its socket. 

"Sorry?" I spluttered. 

"Playing hard to get with the scholarship?" He asked, his poise faltering. 

"I still have a month left, sir." I said with a fake, polite laugh. 

"Less than a month, actually." He said, mouth curved upwards. "Ashton, my boy! You're being awfully quiet. Cat got your tongue?" 

"Still trying to digest my food, sir." He said quietly. 

"Robin! Have you met Ashton?" Mr. Robertson said, trying to carry on the conversation. 

"Not formally, no."

"You look really beautiful, Brittany." I complimented genuinely while the boys were talking. 

"Thank you! I think you look absolutely beautiful, as well. Eyeliner on point." She said with a wink. 

"I followed your tips and I did it in about 3 tries, which I think is an achievement especially for a rookie like me!" I said and we both laughed. 

"Dani, I need-" Ashton started to whisper but Brittany nudged him. He glared at her but she subtly shook her head as if to say 'Not the time or the place.' I looked at them with confusion and looked back at my dad who looked about as done with this encounter as Nathan and I were. We bid our farewells and practically rushed to the car. 

"I didn't know you and Mr. Robertson were good friends." I commented, buckling my seatbelt. 

"Since high school." He said, pulling the car away from the driveway of the restaurant. "Was that the boy you were crying over?" 

"I don't cry." 

"Tell him, Dani." Nathan muttered, leaning forward toward me. 

"Shut up, twerp." I mumbled, pushing his forehead gently. 

"Dani, Nathan! Stop fighting in the car." Dad reprimanded gently. 

"He started it." 

"Nah uh!" Nathan retorted. 

It was like we were a normal family, one without drama or ugly divorces or even screwed up. We were us before the divorce. I guess, if we can be this even after the divorce, then we must be doing something right, right? I smiled, knowing that we've done it. We've patched up and are now a normal family again. Whole, even if we all weren't together, we were. Paradoxical, I know. But that's how we are. That's what we are. A giant paradox.

 "So, Dani. That boy, Asher-" 

"You know his name, dad." I interrupted, rolling my eyes. 

"I'm not going to learn his name, makes me seem more intimidating." 

"You're about as intimidating as a baby rabbit." 

"So that boy. Is he the one we were talking about?" Dad asked, parking the car into the driveway.

"Kinda." I said with a shrug, as if it didn't matter. 

"Are you absolutely sure about him?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow as he opened the front door. 

"I don't know, dad." I sighed, "Why?" 

"Just asking." 

"I don't think I can-" I started to say but was interrupted by my phone blaring. 

"Hello?" I asked, not recognising the number. 

"Meet me at the rock in an hour." The voice said before hanging up. 

Well, that was either Ashton or a serial killer that has been stalking me. I don't know which one is worse. 

I shook my head and walked into my room, grabbing the comfiest things that I brought along with me and walking into the [bathroom to change](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=192352501). I spent my 53 minutes (7 minutes being taken up by changing, washing my face etc etc) on the couch with Nathan who was passed out and dad who was eating a packet of Doritos. 

"Hey, I'm going out for a walk. Be back soon!" I said, getting off the couch to find my flip flops. 

"I didn't know going out for a walk became the new term for meeting a boy you have a crush on." He teased without tearing his eyes away from the television. 

"Bye!" I waved, ignoring his comment. 

I decided to take my own sweet time walking to the rock. Better to be fashionably late than too early; wouldn't want to look too eager. I want to play hard to get but only enough to perk interest rather than look desperate for his attention..... Do guys think about this kind of stuff or is that just us?

"You came." Ashton said relieved, walking up to me and pulling me into a hug. Guess they don't think about this after all.

"Uhh yeah. I did." I said, arms firmly stuck to my side.

"Look, about tonight and every other night, I just want to say-"

"Are you actually going to make this worth my time or are you going to feed me another bullshit story that you feed everyone else?" I snarked, pulling back from the hug to folding my arms over my chest.

"I want to tell you the truth about everything. I want us to..."

"To what, Ashton?" I asked, hope dripping from my words. 

"To be okay." He said, carefully, cautiously. 

"We are okay." I sighed.

"Are we, Dani?" He scoffed, "We can't even talk to each other, let alone look at each other! Damn it! We used to be friends!" 

"Were we even friends, though?" 

"No we weren't. We weren't at all. I guess both of us opening up to each other wasn't friendship. It was in the heat of the moment." 

"That's not fair, Ashton." 

"Not fair?! To who? You?" 

"What do you expect, Ashton?! I don't know anything! I don't know if you were lying to me or you were telling the truth. I don't know what we are. I don't know anything about you and Brittany." I ranted, throwing my hands up animatedly, "All I know is that everytime I kiss you, something goes wrong." 

"So, my lips are your bad luck charm?" He scoffed. 

"No, I mean your lips are nice and stuff but your lies are terrible!" I muttered to myself. 

"What do you mean, and stuff?" He asked with a cocky smirk. 

"You were going to make 'us' right." I reminded him, raising an eyebrow as a warning. 

"Right, yeah. So I'm going to be completely open and honest with you." 

"Go ahead." I said, side stepping him to climb onto the rock. I jumped at the sudden change of temperature. My butt was numb. It's so cold. 

"I'm going to be completely honest here, like totally exposed-" 

"Ashton! Just...okay!" I said, gesturing for him to go ahead and get it over with. 

"When I first spilt that milkshake on you, it was by accident. But I saw the Rolling Stones shirt and my first thought was how we have the same taste in music and how easy it would be for me to get with you. But you weren't having any of my bullshit and I took that as a challenge. That first party, where you met Luke and Calum, well, I was supposed to try and get you to hook up with me but that never happened because I bumped into Brittany first. I realised the next morning that I didn't want her in the first place so I lashed out at you. Then I opened up to you and you opened up to me and I decided that I don't just want you to be a hook up anymore. I wanted you." 

"What about the dates a-" 

"I'm getting to that," He said with a nervous laugh. "The lighthouse is actually hook up central, as Luke calls it, but I didn't take you there to hook up with me and that's the truth. I've never taken anyone to the cliff except you. When I saw how much you loved the view, I thought that the lighthouse would be perfect. I didn't have any intention of you just being a one night stand that night, or any night after the party." 

"What are you trying to say, Ash?" I asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

"I'm trying to say that I can't change my past and I can't change the person I used to be but I want to try and make us work. I know I have a huge list of girls that I did whatever with but that was before you. It was all before you came into my life and made me want to try and be someone you deserve to be with." He said, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers together. 

"Ashton, this whole being open, being vulnerable, falling for someone isn't me." I said and his face fell, "But I'm willing to try if you are." 

He put his hand on my cheek and brought my face closer to his, crashing our lips together. This kiss was different from the others, but in a good way. There was more passion, more feeling that just a lustful kiss. Our lips moulded over one another, moving in sync, sliding over each other. I pulled back, resting my forehead on his when suddenly a thought occured to me. 

"What about Brittany?" I asked, "Not once did you mention her in your whole honesty confession thing." 

"Another story for another day?" He asked, hopeful that I would let it go. 

"Ash!" I whined. 

"Haven't I done enough opening up today? I think I have filled up my quota, don't you?" 

"I can't stand not knowing." I sighed, "But I'll make a compromise for you. I just need to know what she is to you. What you guys are." 

"Nothing. We mean nothing to each other." He rushed. 

"I..I don't know, Ash."

"Trust me, babe. She's rooting for us." 

"How do you know that?" 

"Who do you think helped me build up my confidence for this?" He said with a laugh. I pushed his shoulder in a teasing way. "Come on, I'll walk you home." 

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

"So he just came out and-" 

"Yup."[ I answered](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_150/set?id=193200447) with a grin on my face. 

"And just confessed-" 

"Yup." 

"And you just compro-" 

"Yup."

"And then he kissed yo-"

"Yup!" I nodded fiercely, grin growing. 

"He told you that Brittany and him are noth-" 

"Yup!" 

"So...you guys are...dating?" 

"Yu-" I started to say but stopped myself. "Huh, guess we didn't talk about that." 

"Guess we didn't..." [Christina ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_151/set?id=193200967)repeated, reaching behind her to grab a pillow and hit me across the head with it. 

"Ouch, Tee!" I complained, rubbing the right side of my forehead, "What was that for, dufus?!" 

"You guys talked about everything and anything except for the most important thing - your relationship to one another!" She said as if it was more important than finding out if aliens existed. 

"Well, I mean he did say that there was an 'us'." I mentioned as if that carried any weightage. 

"But you didn't DTR, idiot. That could mean anything!" 

"Do I even want to know what DTR is?" 

"How did you even survive without me?" She asked. 

"I barely made it out alive!" I said dramatically, falling backwards onto her bed. 

"Define the relationship." She answered, ignoring my dramatic antics. 

"Maybe we'll do it today." I said with a shrug, grabbing my phone and looking at the time. 

"Please tell me you're not going dressed like that." She said eyeing me and my outfit up and down. 

"I look out of this world," I said, smirking at my pun. 

"Why are we even friends?" She commented out loud, pulling her phone towards her. We were both on our phones when I saw a picture on instagram with a very familiar piece of clothing. I grinned, knowing that Christina was going to be so embarassed. I truly am an evil genius.

"Are you wearing Luke's shirt?" 

"Don't you have to leave to meet your soon-to-be boyfriend?" Christina asked, blush forming on her cheeks. 

"Oh my god! Did you guys...?" I asked, realising what this could mean. 

"Bye Danielle!" She said getting up from her bed and pushing me towards the door of her room. 

"Holy shit! You did! How was it? Was he good?" I kept asking while she was pushing me out of her room. 

"Bye!" Christina kept saying over me, giggling and blushing. 

"This conversation is not over!" 

~~~ 

"And you guys are serious about this?" 

"The guys and I think that it would be good exposure." 

"Have you really thought about this though, Ash?" 

"What's the worst that could happen?" 

"See, that's the thing." I said, sitting down on the bed so that I was opposite him, "Everytime someone says that, something really, really, _really_ bad happens." 

"Nothing _that_ bad could happen, Danielle." Ashton said with a small smile. 

"Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely going to support you regardless. It's just that I don't want you guys to build this up in your head and then come crashing down if it doesn't work out." 

"We're not going to war, love." He said with a laugh, kneeling down in front of me, "It's just a competition with a couple of talent scouts." 

"How can I help?" I asked which made Ashton break out in a shit-eating grin. He pulled me forward by my shoulders and crashed his lips onto mine. I froze for a second before smiling through the kiss and wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I have no idea what we are, or even what our relationship is, but right now, I'm pretty content. 

"Woah, woah, woah." We heard and immediately broke apart, with me pushing Ashton away from me. 

"Keep it PG guys." 

"Do you really want to tell me about keeping things PG, Mr. Hemmings?" I teased with a smug smirk on my face. 

"What?" He asked, slightly confused, stopping in his tracks to look at me.

"Well, let's just say that Luke here left evidence at a certain someone's house the other day." 

"Dani, what are you talking about?" Calum asked, putting his bass down in the corner of the room. 

"Oh my god! You guys are daft!" I muttered, "Luke had sex with Christina! Jesus, do I have spell out everything for you guys?!" 

"You go man!"  
"Get in, buddy!" 

Choruses of congratulations were pouring in but Luke had a devastated and shocked look on his face. My grin suddenly dropped. 

"Luke, what's wrong?" I whispered, stepping closer to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. 

"We didn't have sex, Dani." He said. 

"Luke, it's not a big de-" 

"I wasn't with her last night!" He spat through his teeth. 

"What?" 

"I went out with my friends last night. I couldn't have had sex with her unless I was at two places at once." 

"She wouldn't cheat, Luke." I said immediately, stepping back from shock. 

"I'm going to set up in the basement." Luke said dismissively, storming out of the room. 

"Well that escalated quickly." Michael chimed in. 

"0 to 100 real quick." Calum echoed. 

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding." Ashton said, putting a supportive hand on my shoulder. 

"Yeah, I'm sure that's just it..." I said unsure. 

"Come on, guys. Let's go set up for practice." Calum said, carrying his bass and exiting the room, followed by Michael. 

"This isn't your fault. You were just trying to have some fun." Ashton said, sliding his hand down my forearm before linking his fingers with mine. 

"I just..." I said with a sigh, "Something doesn't feel right, Ash." 

"What is it?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed, trying to decipher what was going on in my head. 

"I just...Like, I don't know how to explain it but my gut just-" 

"Ash! Dani!" Michael bellowed from the foot of the staircase, "You guys can make out later! It's time to practice now!" 

"I'll tell you later, okay?" I said with a small smile. Ashton shot me a big grin, leaning down to peck my cheek, before dragging me out of the room with him. We walked down down the stairs to the basement and I pried my hand out of his. He looked at me and shot me a confused look that I just shrugged off. "Luke." I mouthed to him while cocking my head at the blonde boy who was trying his hardest to look nonchalant. 

"I got this." Ashton mouthed back, reaching his hand forward to give mine a little squeeze. 

"What are you guys playing for the show anyways?" I asked, jumping to the bottom of the stairs as if I just got here.

"I Miss You by Blink 182?" Michael suggested. 

"I don't think that's right for the kind of image you're trying to put out." I said. 

"Any suggestions?" Calum asked, tuning his bass. 

"How about...What I Like About you by The Romantics?" I suggested

"That's actually a really good idea, Dani." Michael said approvingly. 

"Did you doubt me?" I challenged, crossing my arms and cocking my eyebrow. 

"I honestly thought you would give some stupid suggestion." 

"Yeah me too." Calum said with a laugh. 

"Ash, what did you think?" I asked, turning to face the drummer who looked like a deer in headlights. 

"Babe I, uhh," He said looking around. 

"I'm going to get a drink." I said and walked up the stairs. 

"We know who isn't getting any tonight." Calum said, making the rest of the boys laugh. 

I rolled my eyes and climbed the rest of the stairs, opening the door of the basement. I saw someone with chestnut brown hair on the couch. 

"Hello?" I said as I walked up to the couch. "Oh hi, you must be [Ashton's sister](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_152/set?id=193642857)." I said with a smile, holding my hand out. 

"I am." She simply replied, not looking up from her phone. 

"I'm Da-" 

"I stopped bothering to learn your names after the third one." She said with a scoff, trying to give off an indifferent vibe. She then glanced at me, "I give you a week, max." 

"If you think I'd let anyone throw me out onto the curb, you've clearly been hanging out with idiots." I said with attitude, retracting my arm and crossing my arms. 

"If you think that you're any different than-" 

"Than the 60 other girls who walk in here every week?" I say, causing her to snap her head to me in shock, "Did you think that I was one of them? A girl who has taken such an interest in your brother that I would let him treat me like some kind of toy?" 

"It's just that.." She started to say but sighed. 

"Hey, it's okay." I say, sitting on the seat beside her on the couch, "It must be really weird and unsettling to see a bunch of different girls walk in and out of here all the time knowing what's happening with them. Even worse if it's your brother and he acts like nothing happens." 

"You know he can't hear you, right?" She says, looking at me as if she expected me to leave. 

"Yeah. So what?" I ask, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"You can stop pretending like you care now." 

"I would, but I'm not pretending." 

"You're lying." She shoots immediately. 

"I don't lie, love." I say with a smile. My heart was breaking inside. Sat in front of me is a teenage girl who has been treated like shit by her brother's 'quests'. A girl who has been used to get into her brother's good books. A girl who clearly tries to be something more for everyone, so much so that she puts everyone else's needs in front of hers only to get no recognition, no thank you, no smile of gratification...nothing.

"You're just saying that." She says before going back to her phone. 

"And you're just typing on your phone to look cool." 

"You don't have to pretend anymore, okay. Ashton can't hear you." She says, locking her iPhone and dropping it in her lap. 

"I'm not doing this for Ashton." I say, scooting subtly towards her, "I really do want to get to know you." 

"Really?" She asks, her eyes lighting up. 

"Why don't you start off by telling me your name." I suggest with a big smile. 

"Lauren." She says with a guarded smile, "I'm Lauren." 

"I'm Danielle, but my friends call me Dani." 

~~~ 

"That's what I like about you." 

The last note of the song rang throughout the basement, followed by the bang of my drums.

"Take 5 guys!" Michael said as he bounded up the staircase, slamming the door behind him. Calum followed, laughing at his actions, leaving only Luke and I in the basement. He was tuning his guitar while tuned out to everything else around him.

"Hey Luke." I said, fiddling around with my drum kit. 

"Yeah Ash." He said, voice barely over a whisper. 

"I'm sure the Christina thing was a misunderstanding." I said sympathetic, "You know she would never-" 

"I know she wouldn't, Ash. That's not what's bothering me." 

"Then what is it?" 

"I cheated on her." He said, looking straight at me.

~~~

"And there he was, in front of about a hundred people, butt first in the chocolate cake, hands full of whip cream and face all red," Lauren explained, barely getting any words out, laughing too hard. The two girls sat there, trying to catch their breath. 

"I'm going to blackmail him so badly!" I said, holding on to Lauren's shoulder for support, wiping the tears falling from my eyes due to the uncontrollable laughter. 

"Dani I need to talk to yo-oh." Ashton said in a rush, screaming into the room when he was shocked. 

"I just heard some very, very, _very_  interesting stories about you, Ash." I teased, still looking at his shocked face.

"Lauren." He accused, waking closer to us. 

"Hey, I did nothing." She said with a smirk. 

"What did you need to talk about?" I asked, fingers tangled in my hair while looking at him from the couch. 

"Oh, uhh, I just...well not here."  

"Fine, I get the hint. I'll leave." Lauren said, smiling at me before grabbing her phone and walking away. 

"You know, I've never seen her connect to someone I've..." 

"Brought home as a quest?" I teased, smirking at him. 

"It's just refreshing to see her act like...like her again." `

"She's a wonderful girl, Ash." I compliment, laying a hand on his shoulder as he sits down next to me. 

"She's just been so distant since my dad...and I just." He said, sighing. 

"Do you want to talk about something else?" 

"I don't think you'll like it." He warns, slightly worried. 

"Try me." I challenge. 

"Luke-" 

_Ding Dong_

"I'll get it!" Lauren announced, bounding to the door and opening it. 

"Your prayers can stop now, I have arrived!" 

"[Tee](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=193912573)!" I say shocked, jumping up from the couch, "What are you doing here?" 

"Nice to see you too." She said, rolling her eyes. 

"I mean it's good to see you obviously. But like, what are you doing here?" 

"I didn't want to miss out on the fun." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "Now, where's my boyfriend?" 

"In the basement." Ashton answered, pointing to the door. 

"I will be back!" She said, sniling like an idiot while rushing down the stairs. 

"They're so cute!" I comment, smiling at Ashton, "What did you want to tell me about Luke?" 

"Dani, Luke told me that he..." Ashton said but stopped himself, looking worried and scared. 

"What's wrong, Ashton? What did he tell you?" 

"Dani, he cheated on her." 

"He wouldn't." I said immediately, dropping my hand from his shoulder. 

"He did. He told me." 

"What did he say exactly?" 

"He said that he cheated on her and I couldn't look at him anymore." 

"We have to tell her." I said, getting off the couch. 

"We can't." 

"She's my friend, Ash. We have to. I have to. We can't-"

"It's not ours to tell!" Ashton screamed. 

"I would want to know if you cheated on me even if it comes from her." 

"Would it be better if you found out from her or from me?" He asked. 

"It would suck either way!" 

"But which would you prefer?" He asked more calmly. 

"If it came from you." I sighed, sitting down again, "But you wouldn't want to tell me would you?" 

"No I wouldn't; not if I had a choice." 

"Then we give him a choice." 


	24. Chapter 24

"That's what I like about you. What I like about you." Luke was singing, winking at Christina. How could he still do this? How has he not told her that he's cheated on her, yet! How the hell could Luke of all people do this? He was the perfect boyfriend! Why would he do this? 

"Babe! What did you think?" Ashton asked from behind the drums, on the stage. 

"What?"[ I said, breaking out](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_158/set?id=194960873) of my thoughts, "Yeah, yeah it was awesome!"

"What's going on with you, Danielle?" [Christina asked](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=195095036), looking at me in confusion, "You've been like this for like three days! Did you fight with Ashton?" 

"No. It's not about Ashton." I said with a sigh, "Tee, I need to tell you-" 

"Christina! Babe! Come here for a second." Luke interrupted using the microphone. He looked at me, giving me a dirty look. 

"Tell me later, okay?" She said before running up on stage. I looked at Luke with disbelief. How someone like Luke could do such a disgusting thing was beyond even my thinking. Ashton must've noticed my distress because next thing I knew, his arms were around my waist, lips on my cheek. 

"You okay, baby?" He asked and I nodded, eyes still fixated on Luke and Christina who didn't seem to have a care in the world. "You don't seem okay." 

"I'm fine." I said with a small smile. 

"Still thinking about the Luke thing?" He asked, tightening his grip on my waist.

"I just...I can't believe he could do something like this! It just....something isn't right here, Ash." 

"Babe I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better; but really there isn't." He said with a sigh, "He did what he did and there's nothing he can do to change it. The only thing he can do is come clean and hope that Christina will understand." 

"Would you ever...you know, cheat on your girlfriend?" I asked, turning around in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

"I would never cheat on you." He said sincerely, kissing me on the nose and pecking me on the lips before walking up to stage to join the rest of the guys for one last practice before the competition tonight. I was left standing there with my mouth agape, completely taken off guard. 

Girlfriend? Me? Of him? Like we're together now? Like relationship-wise? Together-together? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Ashton Irwin and Danielle Walker? Like in a relationship? With commitment? Like forever? 

Me? Freaking out? No. I'm fine. Like totally fine. I'm fine. Like Ross Geller when he found out about Rachel and Joey dating. That kind of fine. The fine type of fine. You know, being fine. Yeah, I'm fine. 

"Dani, you okay?" Christina asked, putting her hand on my shoulder, making me jump.

"What? Yeah. Fine. Dandy. Fine. I'm fine." I rushed out, hyperventilating. 

"Do you want to t-" 

"Talk about it? Nah. Nothing to talk about, remember? 'Cause everything is fine. Fine with a capital F. F I N E." 

"Okay then." Christina said, patting my back, before hiking her purse onto her arm, "So I need to go. I'll see you here  _all dressed up_  at night."  

"Wait, Tee," I said, hanging onto her arm, remembering what Luke did. I needed to tell her, "I need to talk to you." 

"Later, okay? I am super late." She said and walked out of the room. 

"And that's a wrap!" I heard Luke scream as he played the last chords of their song. "Let's clean it up!"

Ashton was helping Calum load everything up into the van, Michael was missing and Luke...well he was alone on the stage; which meant that we were alone together. I sighed, knowing that this would be my only chance to confront him about this mess! I walked up to stage, hoping that he would be mature about this and not just brush me off.

"Luke." I sighed, stepping onto the stage next to him.

"We're not talking about this, Dani." He said sternly.

"She's my friend, Luke. I am not going to let you hurt her more than you have already!"

"She's my girlfriend."

"She was your friend first!" I screamed and my voice echod throughout the hall.

"She's my girlfriend now." He said softly, still not looking at me, rather he was fiddling with his guitar.

"If she were in a relationship with Michael and he cheated on her, would you keep it a secret?" I asked. He didn't say a word.  All he did was look at his guitar and strum softly. "I thought so." 

"I can't-" 

"Can't what, Luke? Can't come up with a good enough excuse? Maybe 'cause there isn't any excuse for cheating." I screamed, folding my arms across my chest. 

"It's not like that!"  

"Not like that? What else could it be, Luke? You cheated on the sweetest person I have ever known! You have this girl who is head over heels in love with you and she'd do anything for you! But you, you're scared! You know you feel the same way for her. Dammit Luke! Why did you ruin something that could've been everything for both of you?!" 

He didn't say a word. He couldn't. I could tell that he regretted what he did. How couldn't he? He loved her and he knew it. He ruined something that would've lasted 20 lifetimes if he'd let it. But he didn't. We stayed silent. Him trying not to look at me and me trying to get him. 

"Now what, Luke?" I asked, breaking the deafening silence that spoke so many thoughts. 

"Nothing." 

"You're telling her or I will." I threatened. 

"I'll do it after tonight." 

"You'll do it tonight." I asserted, arms still tightly folded. "I'll see you at the performance." 

~~~

"Busy day, hun?" Dad asked when I walked in the house. 

"You have no idea." I said sighing and plopping down on the couch next to him. 

"Didn't you have that performance thing today?" He asked. 

"In a couple of hours. I just needed to think and get away for a bit before I go." I said relaxing more into the couch. 

"What's wrong, Danielle?" Dad asked, looking at me with slightly amused eyes. 

"A friend did something bad to my other friend and I don't know...I don't know what I'm doing anymore." I sighed, throwing my arm over my eyes. 

"Did you agree what was done?" 

"Not even a little bit." 

"It's pretty clear what you have to do then." He said, putting a reassuring hand on my arm. 

"I don't want to lose any of my friends, dad." 

"Honey, you already know that there's a right and wrong. You also know that when your friend does something that isn't right, you have to tell them. Whether or not they listen is another thing, but if you've tried your very best to help them and they don't change or own up to their mistake then that's their problem. But them knowing that you're there for them every step of the way, still trying to get them to do the right thing is the most important thing." 

"I hate it when you're right." I said with a sigh before willing myself to get off the couch and get ready. 

"Yet it feels so satisfying." Dad said with a laugh, taking the newspaper out of his hand and continuing as if this conversation had never happened. 

I walked to my room and grabbed the clothes I had already decided on. I quickly stripped my clothes off and put on the 'performance appropriate' clothes as Michael calls it. I did some light make-up that even Christina would approve on. I looked at myself and decided that I wasn't happy with my clothes...It was missing something. I grabbed my suitcase from inside the cupboard and rummaged through it until I found the flower crown that I meant to throw away. Thank god I didn't. I put the flower crown, silently thanking my mom for her wavy hair genes.[ I decided that I looked more than presentable and 'appropriate',](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_161/set?id=195587483) grabbed my phone, wallet and keys and walked out my room door.

"I'm leaving dad! Don't wait up!" I announced and walked out of the door and into my car.

~~~

"Baby where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ashton said as soon as I walked through the door. 

"M-me? I...uh..I was-"

"Is everything okay?" He asked, walking towards me with concern in his eyes. 

"Y-yeah. Everything's good." I said with a small smile, still feeling weird about the whole girlfriend thing. It was just so sudden! 

"Babe, Luke will tell her in due time. He's just overwhelmed and he needs time." Ashton said running his hands down on my arms. I just nodded. "Are you sure you're-"

"Ash! Come on! We're almost on!" Calum announced and Ashton gave him a thumbs up. 

"I'll see you later, babe. We can talk about this then." He said and pecked my lips before walking away. 

A peck! First the girlfriend thing and now a peck on the lips! Oh my god what is going on?! I am not cut out for this! 

"Hey Dani!" [Christina said from behind me.](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_160/set?id=195357704) "You look-Hey is everything okay?" 

"W-what? Yeah everything's alright." I said trying to compose myself. 

"You look like you just saw someone get murdered or something." She said with a laugh.

"Ashton called me his girlfriend." I breathed, trying to stop my heart from pounding in fear.

"And?" She asked as if she was waiting for me to tell her the problem.

"He called me his girlfriend, Tee!" 

"Aren't you?" 

"No!" 

"Then what are you?" She asked. 

"His...companion?" I said stupidly. 

"That he kisses and takes on dates and is crazy for?" 

"Friendly companion?" 

"Face it Dani, you're in a relationship." She said patting my back. 

"I can't-" 

"Seriously Dani? You can't keep doing this! You can't keep going back and forth between wanting him and backing off! Make up your mind or stop stringing him along." Christina said sternly. I looked at Ashton who was getting ready to go on stage and took a deep breath. 

"They're almost on." I said and we shoved our way right in the front of the stage.

"You have to decide, Dani! You can't keep doing this whole back and forth thing any longer. It's hurting both of you." She said, grabbing my arm. 

"Tee, it's more than just deciding. After I decide I have to live with my decision and I can't- I mean I don't know how to - Tee, before I came here, I ha-" 

"What's up everyone!" Luke's voice echoed throughout the area, "We're 5 seconds of summer and today we're playing What I Like About You by The Romantics." 

Cheers echoed, followed by loud screaming the second the first note sounded. Just like in rehearsals, the boys killed it! The crowd was going crazy at the sheer passion the boys had in their music. They were playing as if it was their last time ever playing. They were going hard and everyone was loving it! Christina and I, for those brief moments forgot everything. We screamed and sang and cheered and jumped and we went crazy! Seeing the boys like that was a totally different experience than we are normally used to. Up there they're rock stars but down here with us, they're complete goofballs. As the last note was played, the crowd erupted! They were screaming and cheering and calling out for more. The boys were completely awe-struck, even if you didn't know them you could absolutely tell that right there on stage is exactly where they wanted to be for the rest of their lives. If they weren't sure about what they wanted to do before, this moment right now, was more than enough proof. My heart swelled a little. 

"Come on." Christina said and tugged my hand. I had no idea where I was going but I followed her anyway. She dragged me past the two bodyguards who were guarding the performers entrance. Christina said something to them, pointed at me and suddenly we were given way to enter. 

"That was fucking awesome guys!" I heard as soon as we were let in the entrance. 

"Babe!" Christina shouted, letting go of my hand and running to Luke who was grinning from ear to ear. "I'm so so proud of you and..." She said ranting and peppering his skin with kisses. I stood there watching the whole ordeal unfold. 

"Don't I get the same treatment, Dani?" Ashton said, making me tear my eyes away from them to focus on him. 

"Ew no. You're sweaty." I teased making a face. "Calum! Michael! I'm so proud of you guys!" 

"Dani!" Ashton complained as I hugged and congratulated the other two band members. I would have done the same to Luke but he was too busy with Christina. I pushed away the thought that he was going to tell her about his cheating ordeal tonight (I don't believe that, but I'm giving him the benefit of doubt) and focused more on the positives. 

"I'm kidding, Ash. Come here." I said holding my arms out for him to hug me. He smirked and strided towards me, picking me up and squeezing me, getting his sweat all over me. "Ash! Eww! Yuck! Stop! You're so gross!" 

"You love it, babe. Admit it." He teased while hugging me tight. I laughed and tried squirming away, but failed. After he was satisfied with his sweat-rubbing, as wrong as that sounds, he put me down and I scowled playfully at him. 

"Get. A. Room." Michael said with a disgusted expression on his face. 

"We've already been in yours." Ashton said, winking at me. 

"You're dis-"

"Hey guys! That was an amazing performance." The announcer said, walking from the stage where the next act was already performing.

"Thank you!" Michael said, shaking the guys hand and smiling.

"I really do think, between you and me, that you have a real shot at winning this." 

The boys were ecstatic of course! You could tell that even if they didn't do this for the reward of getting a record deal, the fact that someone who has seen so many performances before thinks that they actually can get it is amazing! 

"I have a few more bands to announce before we announce the winners." He said, looking at the stage before looking back at the boys, "But I have a good feeling about you guys."

"Babe did you hear that?" Ashton asked, excitement radiating from his body. I nodded and flashed him a small smile. I should be more excited but I can't help but feel that the announcer was only getting their hopes up for it to come crashing down. I'm not being unsupportive, I just don't want the boys to be crushed, especially after that brilliant performance.  I just don't want to see them hurt. 

"Come on guys, let's go watch the other performances." I said, linking my fingers with Ashton's and dragging him out the door, past the two burly bodyguards. We stood in the back, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I looked back and he smiled down at me. 

"I'm really happy." He whispered in my ear. Oddly enough, so am I. I didn't think that I would be  _that type_ of girl. The relationship type. But right now, I can learn to be. I tiptoed and moulded my lips over his, turning around in his arms and placing my hand on his cheek. He smiled through the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist. Then he pulled away with the biggest grin on his face. "What was that for?" 

"Can't I kiss my boyfriend when I want to?" I teased. 

"Boyfriend, huh?" He said with a toothy smile, leaning down to kiss me again.

"Ladies and gentleman!" The announcer said in an overly excited voice, breaking us apart, "You have seen all the bands, you have loved all the bands! Make some noise if you've enjoyed yourselves tonight!" The crowd screamed louder than they have all night, "Unfortunately we can only have one winner! Here in my hand I have the winner's name and a contract for a record deal with the biggest record label in all of America!"

"This is it." Ashton mumbled under his breath. I intertwined his fingers with mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Whatever happens, Ash, you did your best." I said, leaning into his tall frame.

"And the winner is, can I get a drumroll please, The Marienes!" The band screamed louder than the crowd and ran on stage to accept their award. I immediately turned to Ashton who had a grief-stricken look on his face.

"Ash, you did amazing. You yourself said-"

"I know what I said, Dani. It's just," He sighed and looked at his shoes, "The possibility of us winning was there, you heard the man. I...I didn't.."

"I know baby, I know." I said and hugged him as hard as I could, as if I could just hug the sadness out of him.

"Let's go find the rest of the boys." He said, untangling himself from me and walking away.

I knew this would happen. This is the whole reason I didn't want them to do this! I knew they would get so sad if they lost.

~~~ 

"Oddly enough, I'm not sad we lost." Calum said as we sat in the hall that was now empty. 

"I am." Ashton grumbled, taking a swig from his beer. 

"I'm not." Michael said, grabbing a potato chip and stuffing it in his mouth. 

"What about you, Luke?" I asked, crossing my legs and leaning into Ashton. 

"I...don't know how I feel. It's like a part of me is sad that we lost but another part of me is still so hyped up from the performance. I felt like I belonged on that stage, you know? The rush that I got from standing up there and playing is like nothing I could have ever dreamed! I knew that there was a possibility we could lose. Hell, I didn't care about winning until that announcer dude told us that he thought we had a chance." 

The other three boys agreed with him. I could tell that they cared less about winning and more about playing. Something was off with Ashton. Ever since he heard that other bands name get called instead of his, he just shut down. 

"Come on guys, it's been a long day." Christina said and got off the floor, dusting the back of her dress. "I'll buy you guys some ice-cream." 

"I'm game!" Calum said and immediately got off the floor; followed by everyone else. 

"Coming, Dani?" Michael asked. 

"I'll catch up." I said with a smile. 

Then it was just me. Alone. I got off the floor and looked around. I walked up, to the stage and found a guitar lying behind the amps. Someone must have forgotten it. I reached down and grabbed the neck of the acoustic guitar and put the strap on myself. I haven't played in so long. I shouldn't right? One hand was on the guitar, and the other clutching my necklace that my grandma gave me. I clutched it so hard I thought I was going to break it. I let out a shaky sigh and strummed the guitar, as a test. 

It was as if on instinct, I started strumming. And then words started tumbling from my mouth. I was singing. I was playing. I was me again. 

_[Darlin' hold me in your arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznXx1Ns374) _

_[The way you did last night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznXx1Ns374) _

_[And we'll die inside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznXx1Ns374) _

_[For a little while here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznXx1Ns374) _

"You're really good." I heard from behind the room and immediately, I stopped. 

"I uh, I don't. I'm not-" I stuttered and spluttered, scared. 

"This is why they offered you a scholarship." Ashton said, walking towards me. 

"I'm not taking it." I said on reflex. 

"Why? You're amazing." 

"Look Ash, this is not your place-"

"Not my place? Dani, I'm your boyfriend! I'm here to encourage you and help you and listen to you."

"You've been my boyfriend for all of 5 minutes!" I scoffed, putting the guitar down and jumping down the stage to walk out. 

"You can't just walk out on every little argument!" He said, grabbing my hand and turning me around. 

"Let me go! I can do what I want! This is a free country, Ash." 

"We have to talk this out!" 

"Talk what out? There's nothing to talk about! I am not taking that damn scholarship." I screamed, yanking my hand out of his grip and crossing my arms. 

"Take the scholarship, Dani." He said softly, walking slowly towards me, "You have a real talent and for Julliard to be giving you this scholarship must really tell you something."

"Ashton you can't do this! You don't know anything."

"Oh don't I? I know that you stopped playing because of your dad. Now you have a relationship with your dad again and you're scared that if you took this scholarship and you started singing and playing again, your dad will leave again because everything is going so perfectly. " He said, walking forward, trying to come closer to me. For every one small step he took towards me, I took two big ones back, "Am I right?" 

"Stop it." I said softly, voice cracking.

"Why can't you let yourself be happy, Dani?" He asked, eyes full of hurt. 

"I am happy." I said in a shaky voice, not even believing myself. 

"Are you? Because I know that you freaked out when I called you my girlfriend and I also know that you were ready to run." 

"Look Ash, all of this," I said gesturing between the both of us, "Is new to me. I have never done the relationship thing well. In fact, I've never had labels and I have never done anything like this right. I don't want to screw up, okay? I can't do this and I just..I freaked out! I am not the relationship type and I know from experience, neither are you." 

"So you calling me your boyfriend was what, then? A ruse? What?" He said, getting angry. 

"It was a start for me! I told myself that I would learn! I told myself that I could be happy and I was going to try! For you!" 

"You have one foot out the door, Dani. How am I supposed to believe you?" He asked, eyebrow cocked and eyes full of hurt and fear. 

"I'm trying, Ash." I said, walking towards him. "I'll try harder. I'm sorry." 

"Did you just apologise to me?" He asked, surprised. 

"I did." 

"So I won?" He asked, eyes filling with relief and glee. 

"Don't push it." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pecking his lips. 

"What about Julliard?" 

"I'll think about it." 

"You really do play and sing well, Dani. Better than me even." 

"I know." I said cockily and tiptoed to kiss him.

~~~

"Dad! I'm home!" I said with a big smile, letting myself in with the key. "Dad! I have to tell you something!" I said, putting the keys on the kitchen counter and walking towards the living room. 

"Uhh, honey." My dad said, walking towards me with fearfull eyes.

"Dad! What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"You have a visitor."

"What are you-" I started to say when I saw a devastated Christina with a blotchy face and tears pouring down her face.

"Dani!" She cried and ran into my arms. I looked at my father in surprise and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Tee, what's wrong?"

"Luke cheated on me!"

And that's when I knew I made a huge mistake. 


	25. Chapter 25

Her soft sobs could still be heard, even from the kitchen. Danielle had no idea what to do. What could she do? This was all her doing in the first place. Christina had cried herself to sleep and cried herself awake. She didn't want to go home, she didn't want to be alone, so she stayed in Danielle's house. 

"Tee..." I whispered, opening my room door slowly and walking in cautiously, "Hey. How're you feeling?" 

"I-I c-can't..." She spluttered with a spoon full of ice cream in her mouth before sobbing uncontrollably again, throwing herself into my shoulder. The guilt washed over me like a wave to the ocean shore, coming back more and more intensely.

"Tee, please go get showered, okay? We'll go out and forget all about-" 

"I-I don't wan-want to." Christina sobbed and hiccupped and she pulled back from my hug, pressing play on her paused Netflix, tears welling up in her eyes. 

I gulped, feeling even more guilty than before. I sighed, walking out of the door, closing it behind me. I put a pot of coffee on and hung my head in my hands, as if that would get me a solution. I shook my head, I guess I really am that desperate. I took my head out of my hands and hung it low. 

_Hello God, it's me....Danielle. So I know that I don't believe in you, but if you would just show me what I can do to-_

My thoughts were suddenly broken off by the doorbell ringing. I walked to the door and opened it. 

"Hello, darling!" The cheery, preppy voice greeted, pulling me into an unbelievably tight hug, "I have missed you and your brother so, so much." 

"Mom," I breathed, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be planning your wedding?" 

"That's the best part, honey." She said, her grin only growing with the seconds ticking by, "I've decided to have the wedding here!" 

"What?!" 

"Aren't you absolutely excited?" She asked with a huge grin, completely oblivious to the fact that I was shocked and so not on board with this stupid idea. 

"Mom, you can't!" I said, finally, breaking out of my trance. 

"What?" She asked, face falling from a grin into a grim look, voice going from preppy to croaky.

"Think about dad, about him seeing you on  _your_  wedding day and having to relive everything from the day you met all the way to the day you got divorced. Think about Nathan who is going to have to do so much work and forgo seeing all his friends that he's made here." I said, letting out all my frustrations on her. 

"When did you become your father's biggest fan?" She asked with a scoff. 

"Since he explained everything to me." I said, voice dropping to a whisper.

"We're having the wedding here, Dani." She said after a couple of beats of silence, tension rising. 

"Does dad know?" I asked with a sigh, knowing that I wouldn't be able to change anything. Plus going to this wedding might not even be a bad thing. This time, maybe it would work out. I'm just being selfish and bratty about this. 

I just want her to be happy. 

"He was the one who asked me to have it here." She said with a private smile, as if there was something that she knew that I didn't. 

"I'm sorry, mom. I just...its-" 

"It's alright, honey." She said, stepping forward and enveloping me into a hug, you know the hug that your mom gives you when she knows you need one really badly but won't ask. Yeah, that kind of hug. I just melted into it, trying to stop the tears that I knew were going to pool. I hadn't cried for the longest time and I was not about to start now! 

"I did something bad, mom." I whispered into the fabric of her shoulder. 

"Worse than getting arrested?" She asked in a playful voice, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Morally, yes." I said and I felt her stiffen. She grabbed my shoulders softly and pushed me away from the hug and made her way onto the couch, sitting me down and looking at me. 

"What happened, sweetie?" She said trying to calm me down and make me feel like nothing I could do would hurt her. 

"I found out that my friend, Luke was cheating on my other friend, who is currently crying in my room over a pint of ice cream while watching Netflix. Well, basically I told him to tell her what he did, but he wouldn't listen for almost a week. Then I threatened him, and he when he finally told her, yesterday she came crying here." I started to explain. 

"Did you help her?" 

"Yeah, of course." 

"Then, what's the problem? You did the right thing by protecting your friend." She said, trying to understand. 

"When she came here, crying I realised that neither one of us asked for what happened, or how it happened. We didn't give him a chance to explain." 

"Cheating is cheating, sweetie." She said, wisely.

"You don't get it, mom. They had the perfect relationship. They were it for each other. My gut's just tell me that something isn't adding up here. I just...I should've figured it out before threatening their relationship. It's my fault." 

"Oh, honey-" My mom started to sympathise before a loud sob stopped her. My eyes widened and I turned around only to find Christina standing at the arch of the living room, hand over her mouth and tears streaming down her face. 

"Tee..." I started to say, getting off the couch to comfort her. 

"Don't!" She screamed, eyes filling with fury. 

"Tee, please, just let me-" 

"Stop it!" She shouted, stomping her foot down in anger, "You knew the whole time and you didn't tell me! You let me live with the illusion that my relationship was perfect! That everything was perfect! You let me kiss Luke knowing that someone has and you didn't tell me!" 

"I tried to tell-"

"You should've tried harder!" She screamed, storming off. I ran after her screaming her name.

"Tee, please just-"

"You don't get to call me that anymore!" She screamed, stopping and pointing her finger at me, "You're just like your father! Nothing more than a liar and a cheater!" 

"What did you just say?" 

"Of course you don't know!" She said with a cynical laugh, "Of course the little bitchy brat of the house doesn't know what her father gets up to." 

"You're crossing a line, Christina." My mother said angrily from the doorway. 

"Oh like she hasn't!" Christina screamed at my mother. "You know what, I'm done. I'm done with your stupid petty drama and I'm done with you!" 

"Tee, please just-"

"I should've listened to everyone who told me not to get mixed up with you." She said with a laugh, "God, how stupid was I! I told them that they were wrong about you, but God, I was so wrong about you! You're such a-"

"That's enough." A voice boomed from behind Christina, making all of us turn, "I understand that you're upset but that is not a reason to be making bitchy, hurtful comments." 

"Of course you're here backing her up," Christina said with a scoff, "Why wouldn't you? I mean, she is sleeping with you so why the hell not, right. I mean whatever gets you laid."

"You're my friend and you're going through a rough time, so I'm going to let that go, but unless you want me to really blow up, I suggest you get in your car and leave.  _Now._ " He said, eyes shooting daggers. 

Christina didn't say anything. All she did was look around, shake her head, scoff and leave. This time, I didn't try to stop her. I was frozen to the ground with a million questions running through my mind. 

"You okay, baby?" Ashton asked, walking towards me and pulling me into his arms. 

"I think I just lost my last friend here." I whispered into his shoulder, pulling him closer to me and burying my head into his shoulder as if that would make all my problems go away. 

"Shhh, no you didn't." He said, running his hand through my hair and kissing the top of my head. It was just the two of us, nothing could hurt us, no one could hurt us. "She's just hurt and she's taking it out on you. She doesn't mean any of this, baby. We're all still your friends." Ashton kept murmuring words of comfort to me, and I just held on to him as tight as I could. 

"Thank you." I said, pulling back from the hug. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. All I could think at that moment was,  _If this is how our relationship is going to be, I could really get used to it._

"You okay?" He asked and I nodded, smiling back at him. 

"Want to come in?" I asked, a little nervously, not sure why. He smiled and took my hand in his and we walked inside together. 

"Honey, I thought that what Christina said was totally uncall-Oh hello." My mom started to say as soon as the door opened, but stopped herself when she saw Ashton coming in. She looked at me in confusion and then glanced at our intertwined fingers. 

"Mom, this is Ashton," I said, voice a little shaky. Then I looked up at Ashton who was smiling that big dimpled smile at me. That's when I knew that this wouldn't be a decision I regretted, "My boyfriend." 

"Boyfriend?" She asked in a cheeky smirk.

"Yes ma'am." He said and held out his hand for her to shake, "I'm Ashton Irwin. Nice to meet you." 

"Was that you outside who stood up for my daughter?" She asked, eyeing his hand. 

"Yes ma'am." He answered with conviction. 

"I like you." My mom said with a little nod, shaking his hand. "Good choice, honey."

"Thank you?" I asked more than said.

"I'm going to prepare some things for the event," She said waving us off and looking back at her papers on the kitchen counter, "I do however need you for tomorrow for some fittings so make yourself available." 

"Uhh, yeah okay." I said looking a little uncomfortable before dragging Ashton outside. 

"You okay, baby?" He asked, our fingers still intertwined. 

"That went well, right?" I asked, hyperventilating a little. 

"I thought it did." He said with a shrug. 

"How are you so calm about all of this?" 

"Parents just tend to like me, so I'm really not worried." 

"Yeah well, it's quite the opposite for me." I said with a scoff, running my fingers through my hair. 

"What's really wrong?" He asked with a little sigh. 

"Nothing. That was it." 

"I really hope you don't play poker, you're a shit liar." He said with a little laugh. 

"I'm just..." I sighed,"I made a mistake with the whole Luke-Christina thing." 

"I think you did the right thing." 

"I didn't even give Luke a chance to explain his side!" 

"Huh, neither did I, actually." Ashton said.

"I broke them up and I don't even have a good enough reason as to why!" I exclaimed, guilt dripping from my voice. "I did this." 

"No you didn't." Ashton said with conviction, grabbing my face in his hands and looking at me with those beautiful honey eyes, "You did what you thought was the right thing. You tried to protect your friend from a world of hurt. You are an amazing person with a beautiful heart." 

"You don't hate me?" I asked, placing my hands over his and rubbing it with my thumb.

"Quite the opposite actually." He said with a nervous laugh. 

"What?" I said, my hands dropping from shock. 

"I can never hate you." He qualified, taking his hands away from my face, glancing around nervously before asking, "Do you want to go see Luke?"

"I think I'm the last person he wants to see right now."

"You'll get a chance to get your explanation." He said, walking to his car and I followed.

We sat in the car in complete silence. I didn't know if it was an uncomfortable one or not, I just couldn't decide. We had nothing but our breathing breaking the silence. I opened my mouth so many times to try and break it, to make the silence go away but I just couldn't find the right words to say. We reached Luke's house before I had time to dwell on it further. I sighed in relief as Ashton got out of the car and lightly jogged to my side to open the door. 

"Thanks." I muttered, breaking the silence for the first time in 5 minutes. He smiled back, but not the smile that I love, oh no, this was a different smile - a reserved one. His smile didn't go dimply, it didn't even reach his eyes. It was a quick one, as if he was thinking, dwelling on something that he didn't want to tell me. 

"Luke's expecting us." He said and walked in front of me, leaving me in his tracks. He didn't even ring the doorbell, just opened the door and waited for me to enter, like the true gentleman that he is. 

"What am I going to say to him?" I asked, worry filling my voice. I didn't even cross the threshold. 

"What do you want to know?" 

"Why he cheated." I answered in a heartbeat. 

"Then that's what you ask." Ashton said simply, motioning for me to come in. I walk in and he closes the door. Just as he's about to climb the stairs, I grab his hand and he looks back at me. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." He answers almost immediately, prying his hand away from mine while smiling. I walk behind him, still weary. We enter Luke's room and I'm shocked at the sight before me. The whole room is dark and messy with clothes strewn everywhere, plates and glasses on the study table. Luke is under a thick duvet, his hair is flat and he has stubble growing. He was a wreck. His eyes were bloodshot, tear stains on his pillow, food staind on his clothes and from the smell that emitted from him, it was pretty clear that personal hygiene wasn't in his list of things to do. 

"Luke?" I ask, shocked. 

"What do you want?" He asked spitefully, voice hoarse and cracking. 

"What happe-"

"You broke my relationship, that's what!" 

"Hey man! That's not cool." Ashton said in a warning tone telling Luke to back off. 

"No Luke!" I said, getting fed up of the blame. "You broke your own relationship! You cheated on Christina! All I did was stick up for my friend." 

He said nothing. 

"Why did you do it?" I asked, after a beat of silence. 

"It's a long story."

"Well, lucky for you I have nothing but time." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I was at a club with some friends an-"

"Was this before or after you were with Christina?" I asked, anger laced in my voice. 

"After she went to sleep." He said with a sigh, running his hand down his face and sighing. 

I was just about to open my mouth when Ashton placed a hand on my forearm, gesturing for me to let him talk and explain himself. I sighed and held my tongue. Luke took that as his cue to continue.

"I was at the club with some friends," He said, head hung low, fingers playing with his pillow, "I was at the bar and they were dancing. I was just watching everyone when I spotted this girl and she looked like she was in distress or something. She was scared and he was obviously bigger than her and he was shouting at her. She tried to walk away but he pulled her back. Obviously I couldn't just stand there and do nothing so I walked over and asked her what was wrong. He asked me what the hell I was doing and who I thought I was. I told him I was her boyfriend. It just slipped out! I was trying to help!" 

"That isn't cheating, Luke." I said with another wave of guilt washing over me. 

"I'm not done yet." He said, taking his lip ring into his mouth, "He didn't believe me, obviously so I kissed her. He tried to hit me but I hit him first and then I grabbed her hand and started walking away from him and we went out the back. She then hugged me and one thing led to another and we kissed again....More than kissed." 

"You didn't sleep with her did you?" Ashton asked wearily. 

"I almost did." 

"Do you regret it?" I asked immediately. 

"I don't regret helping her, but I do regret kissing her." 

"Who was she?" 

"Reign." He answered softly.

"Reign?!" Ashton shouted, "As in Liam's Reign! As in the Reign that Christina hates because she stole her high school boyfriend, Reign! That Reign?" 

Luke said nothing, only winced and nodded slightly. 

"I had to help her! You know how Liam is! He was going to hurt her!" He defended, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

"No one is blaming you for helping her! We're pissed the fuck off that you cheated on Christina and almost had sex with this chick until you conviniently remembered that you had a girlfriend!" 

"It wasn't like that!" Luke defended through gritted teeth. 

"You're standing up for her, now!" Ashton shouted, louder, rage building up inside him. I wanted to calm him down, I really did, but truth be told, I had never seen him this angry before and I was scared. A little turned on, but mostly scared. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

"Shut up, Ashton! You don't know anything!" 

"Then tell me! Explain to me how you could possibly do that to someone you claim to love so much! Because I know I can never even imagine doing that to someone I love!" He screamed, and my breath hitched in my throat. He couldn't possibly be...no. We just started dating. I can barely call him my boyfriend without my heart fluttering, he can't be talking about me. It has to be general...

Why am I making this about me? This is about Luke and Christina! Not me and Ashton. 

"It was a lapse in judgement! I wanted to help her but it just-"

"I thought I knew the kind of person you were, Luke." Ashton said, interrupting Luke's sentence. He shook his head in disappointment, "I don't think I know you anymore. I can't stand up for you Luke."

"You're meant to be my friend, Ashton!" Luke screamed, getting out of bed and standing in front of Ashton, sizing him up.

"If this is what you do to friends, Luke. I'm not sure I want to be yours anymore." Ashton said, face grim and voice shaky. 

"Ash.." I started to say but was cut off by the look on his face. 

"We're leaving, Danielle." Ashton said and walked out of the room, leaving behind me adn Luke who both had the same shocked expression on our face. 

"Luke, I don't-"

"No, Danielle." Luke said, rage dripping from his voice, "Before you came in we were all fine! Ashton, Christina, Me, but then you came here and you just ruined everything! Why the hell don't you just go back to where you came from! Why the hell did you have to come here and break everything apart!" 

"Luke you don't know what you're saying. You're jus-"

"Shut up!" He screamed, stepping closer to me, "You don't get to tell me how I feel! You don't get to tell me anything! Especially since you ruin everything you touch!" 

"Luke, please just-"

"Get the fuck out of my house and get the fuck out of my life! I never want to see you ever again." He screamed while pointing to his room door. I couldn't move, I was filled with shock. "Get out!" He screamed again, chest heaving and I did. I ran out the door and down the stairs and straight into the car, breathing heavily. 

"What happened?" Ashton said, voice void of emotion. It was as if he was asking for the sake of asking. 

"He said I ruined everything and that I caused all of this." I breathed, voice shaking,"He never wants to see me again." 

"Well..." 

"You think so too?" I asked, more shocked than before. I scoffed and got out of the car, slamming the door behind me.

I expected Ashton to get out of the car and follow me, to apologise, to explain himself. He didn't. He just sat in the car. I turned around and saw him sigh before pulling the car of the driveway. 

"Are you coming?" He asked, rolling the windows down and putting his sunglasses on. 

"Do you really think I did this?" I asked, "Do you really think that ever since I came here that nothing but bad things have happened?" 

"I don't know what to think, okay?!" He screamed, running his fingers through his hair, "I just found out that my best friend cheated on his girlfriend with some...with Reign! I just screamed at my best friend and practically broke our friendship that dates back like 16 years! I can't think straight right now!" 

"Ashton-"

"I just know that whatever I say, you're just going to get mad at." He sighed, "So can we take a rain check for that whole fighting thing. Just get in the car so I can drop you home." 

"You clearly need some space from me so just go." I said, trying to brush off whatever he said and walking backwards, "I'll just take an Uber or something." 

"Dani..."

"No Ashton." I said with a little laugh, "I get it, okay? I just...I need some space too." 

I got my phone out, ignoring Ashton and his big presence with his car and called for an Uber. By the time I turned around, Ashton was gone. His car was gone and I think...so was his friendship with Luke. Maybe it really was my fault. Clearly they were fine before I walked in and ruined everything with my 'darkness', with my need for everything to be about me. I'm basically a huge cloud of darkness. I did this. 

My Uber came and I told him an address to go to. I sat in the car and looked out, obviously pretending that I was in some shitty teenage movie where this is basically the whole climax and I was the main character and this was my battle to go through. It's quite theraputic if you looked at it in that way. If this was a movie, this would be my 20 minutes to get through whatever battle it was the main character would be facing and everything would be fine. The only downside to this 'therapy' was the fact that once you get out of the car and stop staring at the trees that go by, you basically realise that this is real life, not a fantasy teenage drama and with real life, there is no fast-forwarding to the happy part. 

"That'll be 7 dollars." The driver said and ripped me from my thoughts. I shot him a small smile and paid him before getting out and taking a deep breath. I walked to the front door and gave myself a small pep talk before gathering enough courage and knocking on the door. When that did nothing, I looked at the doorbell and rang it a couple of times. I heard a loud sigh and then the sound of the door opening. 

"Go away." 

"Please just let me-"

"Let you what, Dani?! You've already ruined my relationship but my friendship too! What more do you want to take away from me?!" [Christina screamed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_165/set?id=197273490) at me. 

"He didn't-"

"What? He didn't what? Cheat on me?!" 

"Tee, please just-"

"Didn't I already tell you not to call me that?!" She screamed, aggrivated.

"Would you stop being such a drama queen for one fucking second?!" I yelled at her, stiffening up once I heard what I just said. 

"Wow Danielle." She scoffed in shock, shaking her head, "What did you think this was? A movie? Grow the fuck up and take responsibilty for your actions." 

"Christina, look I'm really sor-"

"You know what, Danielle," She said, stepping back and holding the door with one hand, "Fuck you." She said and slammed her front door. All I heard after that was the sound of footsteps and then nothing. 

~~~

I had never been more glad to see the front door of my father's house ever. I sighed in relief and walked up the stairs. Just as I was about to open the door,I heard screaming. It was as if all the relationships in my life were going to shit. I peeked through the window.

"If you didn't want me to have the wedding here then why the hell did you even bother to ask?!" My mom screamed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"What kind of idiot thinks it's alright to have their wedding at their ex-husband's house?!" Dad screamed, the vein in his neck bulging.

"Why did you ask then?! Why did you make me take a three hour flight and a two hour drive, and basically reshuffle everything to come here, huh? Did you want to seem like some sort of hero?!" 

"How stupid do you actually have to be to actually think I meant it?!" 

"I was stupid enough to get married to you!" Mom screamed back at him, poking her finger into his chest. 

"Enough!" I screamed, storming into the house, voice shaky. 

"Dani." Dad breathed, stepping back from mom and looking guiltily at me. 

"Do you two have no regard to the fact that your son and your daughter live in this house?! That both of us have gone through enough screaming matches in our life to walk into another one!"

"Look Dani, we just-"

"No." I breathed, walking out the front door, "I'm done."

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

"You can't ignore them forever, Dani." 

"Who says I'm ignoring anyone?" I asked, [leaning back on my palms, relishing the feeling of the warm sun on my skin. ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_169/set?id=198142051)

"It's been two days. You're up and out of the house before the sun is up and you sneak back in your room when everyone is asleep." Lauren accused. 

"Yeah, well-"

"Well nothing! Dani, this isn't healthy." [Lauren reprimande](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_170/set?id=198142234)d, "Have you even tried talking to any one of them? Luke? Your parents? Christina? Your boyfriend, Ashton?" 

"It's not as easy as it sounds, Ren." I sighed, bringing my knees to my chest. 

"What isn't so easy? Putting your ego away and actually trying to make a conversation?" 

"It's not about my ego! I broke Luke and Christina up. I tore their friendship apart. I'm toxic and I basically ruined everything since I stepped foot into this town." 

"Stop wallowing in your self pity and get up and do something about it!" 

"Damn, Lauren. That was kind of harsh." I said, shocked and slightly amused. 

"Yeah well when you have a brother that does nothing but stay in his room and sulk and a friend who's avoiding her problems, you realise that being harsh is the only way anything is going to get done." 

"Is Ashton alright?" I asked, avoiding her eyes and playing with the soft sand of the beach. 

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" She said with a sly grin.

"You know I can't do that, Ren." I sighed.

"Why not?" A voice from behind me asked and I turned my head to see Ashton standing there, a beach towel in hand and sunglasses on his face. 

"Ashton." I breathed, chest suddenly feeling heavier. 

"And that's my cue to leave." Lauren said beside me, before getting up and heading to the water.

"Hi Dani." He said, flashing a small smile, taking off his sunglasses and perching himself on a spot next to me. 

"What are you doing here, Ashton?" I asked him, tucking a flyaway behind my ear. 

"When my sister told me that my girlfriend was having problems that she didn't tell me about, I decided that it was time for me to get involved." 

"I couldn't tell you-"

"Why?" He asked, cutting me off. 

"We decided that we needed space, remember." 

"You decided that, Dani. Not me."  

"Why are we even in a relationship, Ashton?" I asked, shaking my head. 

"Where did that come from?" He said, voice panicked. 

"We've been in a relationship less than a week now and we spent three of them fighting and not talking to each other." I said with a humourless laugh, "If this is how it's going to be, I'm not sure I even want to be in this 'relationship'." 

"All couples fight." He said, trying to rationalise it. 

"All couples do fight, no doubt. But we just got into this relationship, Ashton. We should be in our honeymoon phase, not being able to keep our hands off each other, not being able to be away from each other." 

"We're not other couples, Dani. We're not like them. Hell, us getting into this relationship, getting to be us was different in the first place." Ashton said, "We didn't have our first kiss on a date, we had it on a rock at 4 in the morning. Not to mention how we practically dry humped each other after your first date here, that too with Dylan!." 

"Who even says dry hump, anymore?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood, but Ashton was having none of it, "Ashton-"

"Do you still like me, Dani?" He asked, cutting me off, the mood growing more and more tense.

"I never stopped." I said, not being able to look at him. 

"And I still like you." 

"What was the point of that?" I asked, finally looking at him. He simply smiled, lifting his hand to cup my cheek and rubbing his thumb in small, slow circles. "Ashton." I breathed, trying to move away but his other hand cupped my other cheek. 

"Do you trust me?" He asked in a soft voice. I could only nod before he smiled and he leaned in. He leaned in slowly, giving me time to process his actions. I took a deep breath, anticipating his next move. He ghosted his lips over mine while he closed his eyes. Once. Twice. And then he did it. He kissed me, lips fitting over mine like a puzzle piece. It felt right; it felt like this was where I was supposed to be. His one kiss suddenly just made everything better. My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me as I slid my lips over his. I felt him smile through the kiss as I did that and he knew he won. We kissed for what felt like ages, until my lungs burned and I knew that I had to come up for air. I pulled away first, resting my forehead against his. 

"Do you still think that we shouldn't be together?" He asked in a voice barely over a whisper. 

"I might need to check again." I said cheekily, pulling him back for another kiss. He smiled my favourite smile, the one with the dimples and that's when I knew I was done for. I smiled back at him, pecking his lips. I tried to pull away but he pulled me back and reconnected our lips. 

"Oh my god I need to burn my eyes! Someone get me some bleach!" Lauren said, interrupting our kiss. I pulled away, trying to get back to my beach towel but Ashton wouldn't let me leave his arms as he wrapped his arm around my bare waist and kept me close to him. 

"Go back in the water, Laur." Ashton said, flicking some sand on her legs. 

"I'm tired! I want to go home!" The teenager complained, stomping her foot dramatically. 

"Come on, I'll take you home. I need a shower too." I said, pulling away reluctantly from Ashton.

"Are you going to shower in our house?" Lauren asked cautiously but also curiously. I knew the answer she expected, but I didn't know if I was ready to go home and face everything. Hell, I could barely face my boyfriend, how was I supposed to face my parents!

"I, uhh, I…" I stuttered and stumbled, looking at Ashton, for what I had no idea.

"Do you want to shower at ours, Dani?" He asked with a smile.

"I think I need to shower at my own." I said, voice slightly shaky but I felt right about my decision. "Do you want to meet for brunch or something after to you know, talk things over?" I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I'd love that." Lauren said teasingly, making all of us laugh.

"I'd love that too." Ashton said, pushing Lauren playfully before standing up. Lauren walked off first, leaving Ashton and I behind. I was packing everything up, putting my lace dress over my bikini and pushing my damp hair to one side.

"See you later?" I said to Ashton with a smile, hiking my bag on my shoulder. He smiled at me, laying his hand on my waist before pulling me in for another kiss. This one caught me off-guard, so I stood frozen for a couple of seconds before melting into the kiss. Our lips slid over each other carelessly, passionately as if we were making up for the time lost. I had no complaints if this was our new relationship. I pulled him closer, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. He groaned and I took that opportunity to slip my tongue past his lips. He moaned into my mouth and pulled me closer. We were interrupted by a loud honk. We jumped apart and I ran my fingers through my hair. Ashton looked at me with a cheeky, mischievous, boyish smile while I bit my lip and nodded.

"I'll definitely see you later." He said with a chuckle and with that, he walked off to his car.

~~~

I pulled up less than a block away from my house. My hair was close to drying in the car and I was still half debating whether or not I should face my problems or drive to Ashton's house. The other half of me was replaying the searing kiss, or kisses that I just had with Ashton. In all my years of being alive, albeit it wasn't very much, I had never been swept off my feet or even kissed half as good as that. A part of me was fanning myself and hoping that I could do more of that and soon!

I turned the ignition of the car off and got out of it. I took a deep breath and started making my way down the block and paused when I got to the front porch. I decided then and there to stop being such a brat and a complainer and just go through with it! On a count of three I opened the front door, expecting screams and shouts and another fight that I would have to put up with and storm off to make a point - but there was nothing.

"Robin, would you be a dear and call the caterer's to ask for another copy of the menu for the reception? I seemed to have misplaced mine!" My mom says in a sweet voice before laughing. I hear faint sounds of papers rustling from the living room. I stood there in shock at the scene unfolding before me. 

"Have you checked your other folder, Moira? You know how you can be with paperwork!" Dad retorted with a laugh of his own, almost masking the beeps of his phone. 

"Dad! I finished writing the list of people who RSVP'd. What else can I do to help?" Nathan said in an excited voice. 

"What the hell is going on?" I finally voiced out, snapping out of my confusion and shock. "Who are you people and what have you done with my shouty family?!" 

"Oh darling, you're finally home," Mom said, standing up off the couch and placing her papers on the coffee table.  

"Why don't you go freshen up and we'll make you breakfast," Dad said with a smile as he patted my shoulder and went off to the kitchen. 

"Seriously?! Who are you guys?" I asked in complete shock. My brain clearly does not have enough chill to deal with this right now. 

"Why don't you go have a shower, Dani." Nathan said, passing my towel and pushing me to the bathroom. 

"What is going on?" I mutter as I enter the bathroom. I quickly tear off my clothes and shower, washing my hair in the process. I tried as hard as I could to fill my mind with song lyrics as to not think about how the only good and comprehensible relationship I have right now is with Ashton and Lauren. I wish I could say the same for Calum and Michael but I haven't heard from them since the concert. I could see how that could be a problem given the fact that I turned my phone off and buried it under a pile of dirty laundry that I know will never get done. [I quickly dry off and put on some clothes that ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_171/set?id=198595492)[happened to be lying in the bathroom](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_171/set?id=198595492), eerily enough; but I decide to ignore that fact. 

"Okay, I'm fresh. Now tell me why you guys are acting weird!" I demanded as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, hair still dripping from the shower. 

"Sit down, honey," Mom said assuringly, gesturing to the seat opposite her. 

"What is going on with you guys?! Why are you acting so damn weird?!" I demanded again, freaking out internally. I swear they are aliens! I don't even know who our leader even is! 

"Look, Danielle, sweetie," Mom started off, voice dripping with sweetness, so much so that I thought I would get diabetes by just listening to it. 

"Stop that! You're literally freaking me out!" 

"Danielle, your mother and I would just like to apologise for that day." Dad said, finally bringing back some form of normalcy. 

"Your father and I saw how hurt you were when you walked in on us...sorting out our differences and we decided that from then on, we weren't going to revert to old habits."

"So your mother and I decided to put the past in past, let bygons be bygons, bury the hatchet-"

"I think she gets it, Robin." Mom said with a giggle, both dad and Nathan joining in. 

"We resolved our issues over a couple cups of coffee and when Nathan came home, we told him that the wedding was happening and that it was happening right here in my town." Dad said with a smile. 

"So you're fine then? The both of you?" I asked, still a little skeptical. 

"We are in a good place right now." Mom said after a little hesitation. 

"We may not be the best of friends but when you walked in on our screaming match, as you put it, we realised how selfish and conceited we were being," Dad said before mom finished his thought. 

"And we wanted both of you to have a safe, healthy space. That is the whole reason we got a divorce anyway, and by rehashing this whole argument from 5 years ago, we couldn't..."

"What your mom is trying to say is that we're sorry and we never want to go back to the people we were or the relationship that we had before where we were fighting over every single thing." Dad said, putting his hand over my mom's for support.

"What your dad said." She said with a smile. 

"As long as you stop fighting and you stop this whole...fake, sweet family thing," I said gesturing to them, "I think I'll be fine." 

"Great!" Dad said, standing up, "Nate, buddy, want to help me out with the decorations?"  

"Yeah!" Nathan said and both of them went out of the living room and into the backyard. 

"Honey, how's things with Christina?" Mom asked after the boys left. 

"Well, she hates me and so does her boyfriend." I said with a humourless laugh, "The only friend I have here now is Ashton and his sister." 

"Not from what I heard."

"What did you hear and from where?"

"Your dad told me that when you wanted to go home, Christina and the boys, as he calls them came here and annoyed you till you stayed." She said with a coy smile.

"Wow, spend two days with your ex and you're suddenly an expert on your daughter's life." I quipped.

"How is lashing out on me going to help you in any way, Danielle?" She asked me, no anger laced in her voice whatsoever which made me feel guiltier than I already did.

"I'm sorry mom," I said, head hung low and eyes focused on one spot on the couch, "I didn't mean to lash out at you. I just...I feel like I just ruin everything I touch."

"You know that's not true, sweetie." She said, placing her hand on top of mine in support.

"It is!" I said, tears pricking my eyes, "I ruined a week's relationship with Ashton that day! I broke up Luke and Christina's relationship! I ruined my friendship with everyone! To top that I ruined Ashton and Luke's friendship of 16 years!" 

"So how are you going to fix things then?" She asked in a sweet voice. 

"I just...I feel like if I'm out of their lives, they'll work it out better themselves." I said with a shaky sigh. 

"Look at me, Danielle." She said, cupping my cheek with one hand, "Running away from your problems is easy; anyone can do it. You're a Walker! Walker's don't take the easy route, they don't take an out the second they get it. You're going to face this problem and every other problem head on.  _You_ are the only one who can fix this, who can make it better. I'm not going to lie, honey, it's going to be hard and it's going to be draining; but I know you and I know that like all other challenges in life, you will get through this and any other obstacle that comes in your way. You know why?" 

"Why?" I asked in a soft, shaky voice. 

"Because I've seen you do it before. Because I believe in you, your dad believes in you," She said in a confident voice, before dropping her gaze to my necklace and lifting it up for me to see, "Your grandmother believes in you." 

"Thank you mom." I said in a whisper, launching myself into her arms and clutching her for dear life. 

"I'm always here for you, my love." She said, stroking my hair and holding me tight.

~~~

"Ashton!" I called out as I entered the restaurant, tearing his eyes away from the phone and directing it towards me.

"Hey bab-Wow." He said, going from a smile, to having his jaw drop. 

"Too much?" I asked, looking down at myself, "I just thought that with it kind of being a our first date since, well, our first date that I would dress up and kind-"

"No, no," He said, cutting me off mid ramble, "[You look beautiful, amazing, gorgeous](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_173/set?id=198827611)...I ran out of adjectives." 

"Stop," I said, pushing his shoulder slightly, before wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a quick kiss, seeing as we're in public and I didn't want to draw too much attention to us.

"I thought you had forgotten about our lunch," Ashton says as he sits down after pulling out the chair for me like the true adorable gentleman that he was. 

"How could I forget about my lunch date with my boyfriend," I say, resting my chin on my hand. 

"I will never get tired of you calling me your boyfriend," He says with a light blush and a giggle. 

"I'm sorry I was so late," I apologised, looking over the menu, "It's just that I was patching things up with my parents and everything just got so crazy." 

"I tried calling but your phone was off." He mentions offhand. 

"About that..." I start and trail off, hiding my face with the menu as inconspicuously as possible, "I may or may not have turned it off and chucked it in a laundry basket full of dirty clothes after the whole fight day." 

"Why would you do that?!" 

"It seemed like the right dramatic gesture at the time." I said with a shrug of my shoulders. 

"Why am I dating you again?" Ashton asks with a playful shake of his head. 

"Because I'm adorable and my butt looks great in a bikini." 

"Your boobs do too." He said with a smirk at the memory.

"Ash!" 

"What? Can't I compliment my beautiful girlfriend?" 

"Funny, I received the same compliment from Dylan and Justin and-" I said listing out random names to make Ashton jealous. My plan seemed to have worked because his face hardened and he let out a little growl. "Aww, baby are you jealous?"

"You're _my_ girl." He said and my heart fluttered a little. 

"Yours." I said as I leaned over the table a little and put my hand over his and squeezed a little. He looked at me and smiled, linking our fingers together. 

"What were we talking about?" 

"Oh my make-up with my parents! It was the weirdest thing..." I said with a laugh and started to delve into the whole story, talking more about it when the food came. I was waving my hands around, talking more animatedly by the minute. 

"You came home, saw them acting weirdly and your first conclusion was that they were aliens?!" Ashton said laughing so hard that his eyes crinkled, he was clapping his hands together and he doubled over slightly. 

"You would too if you saw how they were two days ago and compared them to how they were acting like barely even an hour ago! It was the only logical conclusion!" I said laughing at how Ashton was taking it. 

Ashton had paid for lunch and he intertwined our fingers together as we walked out of the restaurant. We were just ambling along the beach when I glanced up at him and smiled to myself.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, looking down at me and pulling me closer to his body.

"Can I something crazy?" 

"You're not going to ask me to marry you like Hans asked Anna to in Frozen, are you?" He said, eyes going wide, "Not that I would object or anything. I just think that it's too soon and that we-"

"You watched Frozen?" I asked, cutting off his rambling by giggling. 

"Lauren wanted me to!" He lied. 

"You're a shit liar, Irwin," I said, laughing harder. 

"Elsa is hot, okay!" He admitted, covering his face with his hands.

"She's animated!" 

"You can't tell me you don't think she and Jack Frost wouldn't make a cute couple!" 

"Oh my god! Ashton you're adorable," I remarked with a laugh, a shit eating grin settling on my face. 

"You were going to say something crazy?" He said, trying to hide the light blush that appeared on his face. 

"It's just that, even with all the drama and shit that's going on, I uhh," I started to say but got a little flustered and stuttered and stumbled all over myself. 

"What is it, babe?" Ashton asked sweetly, a smile on his face with him listening intently. 

"I'm just really happy," I said and added, "Because of you." 

Ashton went from smiling at me to full on grinning. His cheeks got slightly red as he smiled, his dimples showed up and became deeper than I have ever seen, his eyes crinkled and his teeth were shining. He made me smile, laugh, kick everything, angry - but he was my boyfriend and I had never been happier than I am in this moment, right now. I never thought that, I, Danielle Walker, would ever let my happiness rest in the hands of a teenager that I knew all of a month. I would have never imagined letting my happiness rest in a teenager, worse so that that particular teenager happened to be a boy dressed in Boardshorts of all things when I first met him. God, how did we reach this point? We went from not knowing each other, to hating each other, to confiding in each other, fighting with each other to dating each other! 

However it happened, and why it happened, I have no idea but I do know one thing: I'm just glad it did. 

He stopped walking, sitting down in the sand and taking off his shoes. He patted the spot next to him, and looked at me with a smile, when I copied his actions, letting the ocean lick at my feet. 

"Doesn't your face hurt from all that smiling?" I asked with a giggle. 

"For you, Dani, it's worth it." 

"That was so cheesy!" I teased, giggling like an idiot. He's changed me so much and he doesn't even know it. I went from broody to giggling like a school girl in all of a month! How does that even happen to someone? 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. 

"Nothing, it's stupid." I said, brushing off his question. 

"Right now, I'm thinking of how happy you make me." He said, trying to make me feel more comfortable with sharing my thoughts. 

"You're just saying that." I commented, playing with the sand. 

"I'm crazy about you, Dani and I'm not just saying that 'cause you told me that I make you happy. I think about you all the time, even from the first day we met. I had never seen someone who was so beautiful without even trying to be. In a sea of people, my eyes only darted to you and it still does." 

"You changed me, you know?" I said as a passing thought. 

"How so?" 

"I came here wanting nothing more than to go home, to get away from this shit hole as I called it. But now, I want nothing more than to stay, with you, even with all this drama going on." 

"I don't want to think about you going, not for a while." He said, scooting closer to me and intertwining our fingers together. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Irwin. You're stuck with me," I teased, turning my head to face him before sticking my tongue out at him.

"I don't know if that's more of a punishment for you or for me." 

"Ash!" I exclaimed, pushing his shoulder playfully. He bounched back, pulling me closer by my hand and crashing his lips to mine, sloppily, passionately. He was trying to convey all the emotions that he just couldn't say out loud. He didn't know how, but he was going to try with this kiss. I smiled in the kiss, pulling him closer by his shirt and bunching it up in my hands. Our noses brushed together as we moved in sync, just like the waves in the ocean. His lips were soft against mine, pressure increasing and decreasing. My lips were tingling and my whole body was on fire. He pulled away first, conncting our foreheads with our chest heaving and hands on my cheeks. He pecked my lips once, twice and kissed my forehead. 

"You make me so happy, Dani." 

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

"Mom! This is the tenth dress you've made me try out!" I complained, hands on my hips. 

"They're not the dress that I imagined my maid of honour and my bridesmaids' wearing!" She retorted, circling around me and checking how the dress looks. 

"You've been watching too much Say Yes To The Dress," I huffed, blowing the hair out of my face. 

"It's a beach wedding so I want it to have a beachy feel," She said, ignoring me and going back to the rack. I huffed again, feeling hopeless as I slumped on the long chair that the store provided and whipped out my phone. 

**From: Ashton**

**How's dress shopping going, baby?**

**_To: Ashton_ **

**_Kill me._ **

**From: Ashton**

**Sorry babe, no can do. I'll miss you too much**

**_To: Ashton_ **

**_Cheeseball._ **

**From: Ashton**

**Your cheeseball that you're stuck with. We still on for later?**

**_To: Ashton_ **

**_Wouldn't miss it for the world_ **

**From: Ashton**

**Who's the cheeseball now?**

"Dani, go try on this one," Mom ordered, snapping me out of my reverie with Ashton. I looked at the dress and immediately felt like screaming and running for the hills - it was a big, pink poofy one with ruffles. 

"Can I try picking one out, now?" I begged, wanting nothing more than to throw that ugly dress in the back of my car and driving a million miles to burn that damn thing to make sure it can never come back to haunt me. 

"If you think you can do a better job than me, than by all means," Mom said playfully, shrugging her shoulders and sitting back down.

"Mom, you just picked out that pink, poofy ass dress," I said with a laugh when I gauged her reaction from seeing the dress she just picked out, "I can definitely do better than that."

"Just pick out a dress, Dani." She said as she put the dress back on the rack. I wandered around the store, hand skimming over the array of fabrics, textures, colours that were available for my picking. I suddenly stopped when my bracelet got caught on some fabric. I wrangled it out and picked the dress out of the rack, holding it toward my body and going over to the mirror to see how I looked before I tried it on. I smirked and ran to the changing room to quickly change and walk out to show my mom. 

"Well?" I say as I come out and twirl, "How amazing am I?" 

"That's it!" My mom said, tearing up. 

"You watch way too much Say Yes To The Dress," I tease, walking over to her and hugging her. 

"Can I have this plus two more similar dresses?" My mom asks the sales lady who obliged with an overly sweet smile. 

"So run me through the plan again," I say when I [change and come out in my normal clothes.](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_175/set?id=199355767)

"The wedding is in 3 days," She starts, "It's going to be a beach wedding and Brian is coming in tonight. Both of us are putting up in a hotel while Robin gets the reception hall in order, Brian will get the ceremony in order and I have to co-ordinate the parties. The two other bridesmaid's are coming in tomorrow and you're my maid of honour." 

"Anything for Nathan and I to do?" I ask with a smile. 

"Just come and support us." 

"Always." I say and kiss her cheek, "Do you need help with anything else right now?" 

"No, I'll just pay and go meet up with your dad for lunch," Mom said, grabbing her wallet from her bag. 

"I'm going to go meet up with Ashton. See you at home."

~~~

"Do my eyes deceive me or is my girlfriend on time for once?" 

"I can always backtrack and come back an hour later," I teased, walking away before his arms wound around my waist and pulled me closer to him. 

"You're here now, so we might as well spend that hour together. Don't you think?" Ashton said, peppering my neck with kisses. 

"Ash, we're in public," I giggled, pushing him away. 

"They'll understand. I mean, look how gorgeous you are, I can't keep my hands off you. I'm only one man, you know."

"You're getting cheesier and cheesier everyday."

"You love it, though," He said with a smirk, holding out the chair for me. 

"Unfortunately, I do," I said, puckering my lips. He saw this and leaned down to peck my lips before sitting opposite me. 

"What's wrong?" He said as he took in my nervous facial expression. 

"Uhh, I need to ask you something," I said, twiddling my thumbs. This is so stupid! Why am I so nervous? He's my boyfriend for crying out loud! 

"You can ask me anything," Ashton said with a dimpled smile, finding my nervousness endearing. 

"It's stupid," I said laughing to hide the fact that I was practically shaking in my boots. 

"Hey, hey!" Ashton said, gripping my hands in his and rubbing his thumbs in slow circles, smiling bigger to the point where his eyes crinkled and his dimples went so deep that I could bury my body in it, "You can tell me anything."

"Promise not to laugh?" 

"Pinky promise." 

"My mother is getting married in a couple of days," I said, my hands twitching before I took a deep breath and blurted, "Iwantyoutobemydate."

"What?"

"Oh and bring your family."

"Baby, I didn't hear what you said, you said it so fast-"

"I want you to be my date." I said cutting him off, "If you want I mean… No pressure."

"Is this what you were nervous asking me about?" He said, trying to stifle a laugh. 

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" I whined. 

"I'm not laughing," He said, shutting his mouth and looking down at his food. 

"You're trying not to laugh!"

"I can't help it, babe. You're just so cute!" 

"You're laughing!" I said, leaning back on my chair and pouting.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby," He said, sitting up and trying not to smile, "Why were you scared of asking me, anyway?" 

"I just-" I said and looked at Ashton who was looking at me with so much intensity in his eyes, "I thought you would think that this was getting too serious and...."

"Run for the hills, screaming?" 

"That." I said, pursing my lips and taking a bite from my food. 

"Well we've always been unconventional," He said with a smirk, "Why would I run screaming?" 

"So you'll come?" I asked, eyes lighting up. 

"I actually would much rather drive to the hills, screaming," He teased. 

"Ash!"

"Of course I'll come, babe." He said with the biggest, dorkiest smile on his face, which made me smile. I feel like we're becoming one of those sickening lovey-dovey couples. Never thought I'd say this, but I was quite enjoying it, actually.

"Oh and bring your whole family - Harry, Lauren and your mom!" I said and his smile fell, "Oh, did I say something wrong?" 

"What?" He asked, shaking his head, "Oh, uhh, no you didn't. It's just...I don't think my mom can come."

"Why?"

"Work." He said, looking down and not at me. That's when I knew that something was wrong. I know I shouldn't prod on, but I can't help but feel like he was keeping something important from me. 

"Doesn't she work for Paul Robertson? I know that he's coming for the wedding because he's a really good friends with my mom and dad so maybe if I talk to-"

"No, Dani don't!" He said quickly and my mouth snapped shut in confusion. Ashton looked guilty and was going to apologise when I stopped him by putting my hand over his.

"It's okay, Ash," I said with a smile, "When you're ready I know you'll tell me and until then I wont ask anymore."

"I'm-"

"Don't apologise, baby. It's really okay. I totally get it," I said, interlocking our fingers together in the middle of the table. 

"I'll go pay the bill," Ashton says, gets up, placing a lingering kiss on my forehead before walking over to the cashier. I smile at him, looking down at my food before I hear a familiar giggle. I look around, trying to figure out what that sound was. My eyes landed on a familiar figure and my eyes go wide. This can't be. She...she wouldn't. She can't! I push myself up from the chair and march over the table. 

"You know, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I let you do this to yourself," I said as I approached their table, eliciting glares from her and a confused expression from him, "And I wouldn't be much of a person if I let you do this to him."

"Excuse me?" The guy said, looking at Christina in shock and confusion, "Who is she?" 

"She's nobody." [Christina said curtly](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=199598150), glaring at me. 

"I'm not going to let you do this to yourself, or to him." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Funny, I don't remember giving you a say in what I do." Christina said in her best bitch voice and I know that because we were practicing our 'bitch' voice to each other in her room during a sleepover once, just in case we ever needed it. It ended in us doubling over in laughter and taking awful selfies and videos. 

"As a friend-"

"We're not friends!" She exclaimed, slamming her hands down on the table, making me and almost the rest of the restaurant jump, "And I don't think we ever were." 

"What is she talking about, Christina?" The guy opposite her finally asked. 

"Not-" Christina started to say but I cut her off. 

"I'm talking about her going out on a date with you while she's still in love with my fri- with Luke," I explained, ignoring Christina. 

"Who's Luke?" 

"Her boyfrie-"

"Ex-boyfriend." She finished, shooting daggers at me. 

"Baby, what's going o-oh." Ashton said, walking towards me and putting his arm around my waist when he sees Christina, "Hey. How are you holding up?" 

"Look Danielle, it's your boyf-oh wait I probably shouldn't say that or you'll run off...again!" She said rolling her eyes.

"Lashing out at me won't help anything," I said, recycling my mothers line, though I am pretty sure she said it better. 

"Lashing out? What are you a 50 year old?!" 

"Look Christina, I tried telling you about-"

"About my cheating ex boyfriend?" She seethed, standing up and sizing me up. Ashton was ready to pull me away but I stopped him, putting my hand over his which was resting on my waist and pried it off. 

"Will you let me finish?" I ask, calmly. 

"What's left to say, Danielle?!" 

"Have you talked to Luke at all, Christina?" 

"Have I talked to my cheating ass of an ex-boyfriend? Hmmm, let me think about that," She said sarcastically before rolling her eyes, "No!" 

"So, you haven't let him explain anything?" Ashton asked. 

"Cheating is cheating and there is  _no_ justifying that." 

"See, that's what I thought too until I realised that I hadn't given him any chance to explain himself at all!" I said, trying to make her see where she was going wrong. 

"If Ashton cheated on you, would you talk to him at all after that?" 

"Honestly, no." I said, shrugging my shoulders and she looked content with that answer until I added, "I would scream, cry, shout and even lock myself in my room for days but hell, Christina, I would want to know his side. I would want to know why he did it, was it even cheating? I would want answers and I think you deserve them."

"Have you talked to him?" Christina asked, eyes going from filled with rage to softening with care. I know that the cheating was taking a toll on her but it nice to know that the girl that I called my friend, was still in there. Even if she was buried deep, deep down for now. 

"I have." I answered, shooting her a small smile. 

"We're not on talking terms right now," Ashton answered honestly. 

"Why not?" Christina asked. 

"We kind of..." Ashton said trailing off, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

"Is it because of me?" She asked and he nodded, "What about Calum and Michael?" 

"Let's just say that your break up has kind of had a ripple effect in the group," Ashton said with a sad smile. I wanted to go close to him, to hug all the sadness out of him but I knew that my gesture wouldn't be welcomed with the heartbroken girl sitting right in front of me. 

"Not  _you_ particularly, more like what he did to...you," Ashton explained, well, more like rambled. 

"Tee, please just give him a chance to explain," I practically begged, taking a small step forward, "If not for him then do it for your closure, please." 

"Okay." She said simply, still looking down at her lap instead of up. 

"So, Michael, Calum, Luke, Ashton, you and I are going to be in one room. Is that okay?" 

"Why everyone?" She asked, voice soft and shaky. 

"To give him a chance to reconcile, to let him explain his side," I explained, voice soft so as to not freak her out, "He made a mistake, Tee. That doesn't mean that he should lose everything." 

"When and where?" She asked. 

"Ashton's house, tonight at 7." 

"I'll be there." She said, determined before giving her 'date' a sorry look, sniffling and walking out of the restaurant. 

"Well, there goes my date," He muttered, rolling his eyes. 

"Oh shut up! You didn't have a chance in hell." I scoffed. 

~~~ 

"Are you positively sure that they are coming?"[I asked](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=199539629) Ashton while pacing up and down in his living room. He watched in amusement from the couch.

"Babe, how many times do I have to tell you that they are coming." 

"And you're sure that they aren't mad at me?" 

"Why would they be mad at you?" He asked, "Why don't you take a seat?" 

"Can't. Too nervous."

"Why are you nervous?" 

"I made an impulsive decision! I didn't think this through! Oh my god they are going to tear each other apart. What if Luke doesn't come? Then I'll just look like an idiot. Oh! What did I do? I can't cancel, that will make me look like a wimp but if I don't cancel and it goes wrong then they're going to all hate me forever and I can never come back here again. I'll have to move and change my name forever. I can't change my name! I like Danielle too much! But it's not like-" I started to ramble when Ashton sighed, got up and pulled me towards him, crashing his lips on mine and pulling me closer. I froze, before melting into the kiss and pouring out my nervous emotions into the kiss. 

"Better?" He asked, pulling away and resting his forehead on mine, nudging my nose lightly. I bite my lip and nodded, looking into his eyes, "If you keep biting your lip like that I might have to kiss you again. This time I won't let you go." 

"Maybe that's what I want you to do," I teased, letting go of his t-shirt and wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling on the short hairs at the back of them, the way I know he likes it. His eyes darkens and he pulls me closer by my waist, gripping his fingers tight onto it. I bite my lip again and he leans down to devour my lips. 

_Ding Dong_

"Fuc-"

"Coming!" I scream, pulling away from Ashton and kissing his cheek, running to the door and smoothening my shirt and my hair and opening the door. 

"Calum! Michael!" I greeted with a smile on my face, granted it was an overly enthusiastic smile but I had no idea how awkward it was going to be, hence I had to be extra, extra nice. Both of them looked at each other and then walked past me and into the living room, "....or not." 

"That wasn't the plan.   
"Well, screw your plan!" 

I overheard as I close the door and go into Ashton's living room. Ashton looks at me and I nod, knowing what I have to do. 

"So you might have noticed that my phone has been off the last couple of days," I say with a smile, trying to lighten the mood but the two boys were having none of it. I shoot Ashton a panicked look but he as always, he remains the calm during the storm. If you can't rely on your boyfriend then who can you rely on, am I right? (God, I hope I'm right)

"Really? I would have never guessed that from the numerous phone calls and texts that we've been sending you," Michael said sarcastically, arms crossed over his chest. 

"I deserved that," I muttered, head hanging. 

"Look, Danielle," Calum said and that's when I knew that they were pissed. Ever since meeting me, neither of them had ever called me Danielle, always Dani. "What Michael means to say is that, after that day your phone was turned off and we were worried sick!"

"We couldn't get in touch with you and we didn't know what to do. Hell, we even went to your house but even your parents didn't know where you were, they just told us that you were back when everyone was sleeping and gone when the sun got up!" 

"We have to know that you won't do that again," Calum said, "You can't keep running away when the slighest of things go wrong. We-"

"Don't count on it, boys," We heard from the living room entrance. Our heads snapped to the source of the voice, "Running away and acting like a damsel in distress is her forte."

"And being a bitch is yours." I quipped, having enough of her shit. 

"Wow, the princess has comebacks too!" 

"Funny thing about me being a princess - I actually have class." I said, folding my arms over my chest, "Something that you will never have."

"[Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_177/set?id=199537295)! Danielle! That's enough!" Ashton said in a raised voice and intimidating stare, "We're here to fix our friendship, not ruin it even further!" 

The room was full of tension, everybody was standing and glowering at each other. There was no way that anyone could take a side because everybody was divided. 

"Look, guys," I said, finally breaking the tense silence that fell on this room, "I know turning off my phone seems to you like a dramatic and completely unneeded gesture, but to me it felt right. You have to understand that so much shit went down that day and I just needed to get away for a bit; from everything. Christina had just found out that Luke cheated on her and we fought, Ashton had fought with Luke about it as well and Christina was fighting with Luke, I was fighting with Luke! Moreover, Ashton and I had a fight and I fought with my parents too! Every single relationship I had was going to shit and I couldn't afford another one, so I turned off my phone and dropped off the grid just to think about things." 

"You fought with Luke?" Christina asked, looking at me with wide eyes. 

"Well yeah, we weren't going to let him off scot-free," I said, shrugging my shoulders like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I wanted to tell you about Luke but we just thought that it would be better coming from him than me." 

"But you knew!" 

"Of course I knew! Do you remember how many times I tried to tell you about it? Do you remember how every single time I tried, you always seemed to have places to go to, or that Luke was calling you?" 

"You _really_ did try to tell me," Christina concluded, breathing out shakily. 

"Of course I did! You're my friend Tee, even if you don't think so and I won't stop trying to be a good one for you." I said, "Sisters over misters." 

I saw Christina's 'bitchiness' waiver. Her bottom lip was trembling slightly and her rigid stance softened. I shot her a small smile and suddenly I was stumbling backward slightly as she shot herself at me, arms wrapping around my neck and mine wrapping themselves instinctively around her waist. 

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch, I was just so sad and broken and-" She blubbered and I tightened my arms around her. 

"It's okay! I'm sorry too, Tee, I wasn't more supportive and I-"

"No, Dani! It's my fault! You tried-"

"But I didn't try hard enough and I didn't tell you truth once you found out!" 

"Is it wrong that I'm kind of turned on right now," Michael said and we broke away to look at him, "Did I say that out loud?" 

"While we're on the subject of apologies," I said, untangling myself from Christina and walking over to the two boys, "I'm sorry for worrying you, and for dropping off the grid and for-"

"Shut up and hug us," Calum said and pulled me into a tight bear hug and Michael did the same. 

"So we're all cool?" I said after the hugs, with a big smile on my face and a weight off my chest. 

"No more apologies to make, right?" Ashton asked with a laugh, making all of us laugh along with him. 

"Actually, I think I have some to make," A voice from the archway of the living room. 

"Did we leave the door unlocked?" I asked wondering how Christina and Luke got in without any of us opening the door for them. 

"Not the time, love," Ashton whispered to me and I clamped my mouth shut. 

"Dude, you look like shit," Michael pointed out earning a slap on the arm from Calum. The sad thing is that he wasn't wrong. Luke's hair was disheveled, he looked like he hadn't shaved for days, his dark eyes and undercircles were prominent; he just looked distraught. He was broken.

"Luke." Christina breathed and stepped forward. I stepped closer to Ashton and brushed my hand on his, letting him know that I was right here. I looked up at him and saw that his jaw was locked, his hands clenched into fists and his eyes dark with anger and guilt.

"Hey Christina," He said with a sadness laced in his deep, husky voice. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and it really was showing.

"Are you okay?" She asked, stepping closer and reaching her hand out before she snapped it back to her side, as if she had just been burnt. I couldn't imagine how painful it must be for her right now. She was torn between being angry and hurt and still caring so much about the boy who was standing before her.

"I've been better." He admitted, eyes filling with sadness reflecting in his voice, "How are you?"

"Hurt."

"I'm sorry." He said taking one step towards her, and she retreated just as fast as he acted.

"You said that already," She reminded, voice turning shaky.  

"Doesn't make it any less true." 

"Why did you do it, Luke? Was I not good enough for you? What did I do wrong?" She asked shooting one question after the other, her voice getting shakier and shakier with every word that came out of her mouth. 

"No, no-"

"Then why?!" She screamed and tears starting falling down her cheeks, one after the other, "Because I have been going over and over every moment that we spent together trying to figure out where is it that I screwed up, why couldn't I see that you weren't happy. Trying to figure out if we actually were the 'perfect couple' or whether it was all just an illusion that I created for myself. Trying to figure out if you falling in love just as hard as I was or whether-"

"You were falling in love with me?" He asked, shocked. 

"I _was_." She said, stepping back again as if she was trying to retreat from everything but she knew she couldn't. She forgot there were other people in the room, it was just her and Luke in her mind and she couldn't stop or even ignore the fact that her heart was swelling in her chest and breaking all over again. It was an endless cycle and it hurt her physically. She spent hours clutching her chest with tears rolling down her face all by herself in her room. She would take days of that rather than confronting Luke because the hurt she was experiencing right now was 100 times worse than it had ever been since she found out about 5 days ago. 

No one said anything. Calum, Michael, Ashton and I looked at each other in mutual agreement that this something the couple shouls resolve for themselves, so we backed away into one corner of the room. I could tell that the boys wanted so badly to say something, to _do something_. They knew better. 

"Just give me a chance to explain myself," Luke said in a defeated voice. He didn't know what he could say to fix this. At this point it felt like he was just putting a bandaid over shattered glass. He couldn't fix this, but he was damn well going to try. 

"Then explain it to me. I want to understand what drove you to cheat on me because right now I can't come up with anything!" Christina said, wiping her tears from her face and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to calm her breathing down. 

"I was at the club with some of my friends..." He started with a deeo breath and explained how he saw this girl being harrased by some guy and he stood up for her, and how the guy didn't believe him so he kissed her and then they walked away.

"That's not cheating," Christina breathed, arms uncrossed and now by her sides. 

"I'm not done," Luke said, voice shaky and then he said, "She thanked me by hugging me and one thing led to another and we maybe more than kissed."

"What does maybe more than kissed mean?" Christina asked as if she was afraid of the answer. 

"We made out an-"

"Did you fuck her?" She asked, making all of us gasp at the bluntness of her question.

"What? No!" 

"Did you want to?" 

"No." He said with no hesitation. 

"Then why did you do it, Luke?" She asked, defeated and clearly tired. 

"It just happened!" 

"That isn't a good enough reason."

"What is a good enough reason for you, Christina?" Luke asked, sighing, "There's never a good reason for cheating. I made a mistake and I know I made a mistake but there is no way of changing the past."

"Would you change it?" She asked.

"I wouldn't change me helping her, but I would change the part after." 

"Who was it?" Christina asked and I breathed deeply, already anticipating the burst when she found out who Luke cheated on her with. 

"Reign." 

The air was heavy, the room was scarily silent. Everybody was waiting for her outburst, for her to react. We were ready but nothing happened. She didn't scream, she didn't cry, she didn't shout, she didn't say anything. 

"What do you expect to happen now, Luke?" She simply asked, as if her name didn't just escape his lips, as if the whole cheating thing didn't happen. She was scarily calm. She was...Christina. There is no other way to explain this poised, beautiful, strong girl. 

"I don't expect you to forgive me straight away, but I do want to be friends at least. I know that we may never get back together, but I just want to for us to be okay."

"Would you forgive me had I done the same thing with Liam?" 

"I would have been angry, I would have screamed and shouted and gone to look for him, maybe even beat him up but I would forgive you." 

"I can try Luke, but don't expect me to treat you the same as I treat Ashton or Calum or Michael." She said, sadness dripping from her voice, "I really did believe that I meant something to you."

"You mean everything to me." Luke confessed, teard prickling his eyes. 

"Don't do that, Luke!" She screamed, angry tears accompanying her, "Don't lie to me!" 

"I'm not-"

"No, you are!" Christina raged, tears flowing down her face like a waterfall, "You wouldn't have done what you did and even worse, you wouldn't have made me believe that everything was perfect! You wouldn't have let me trust you, fall in love with you and then fuck me up so badly! You know what the worst part of all of this is, Luke? That I still fucking love you, and I know that I shouldn't but I can't fucking help it! So no, Luke, you're not telling me the fucking truth because if I meant so much to you, you wouldn't have treated me like shit." 

"Christina, I-" Luke started to say but got cut off by Christina.

"I'm done." She said, wiping away her tears fiercly before turning back to face us, "Does anyone else want to say something?"

"Luke, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we definitely don't agree with what you did - cheating is just wrong," Ashton spoke up, walking towards Luke, "But dude, you're my friend over everything else and that includes being Christina's boyfriend." 

"Ashton's right, Luke," Calum said, following suit, "We only reacted the way we did because we were in shock and because Christina has also become a part of this group." 

"But we got to thinking and we realised that if Christina wasn't a part of the group then we wouldn't have blown up so much, we would have been mad but we wouldn't have stopped talking to you."

"I think that we should make an agreement," I said, walking towards the rest of the group who had now gathered near the archway of the living room, "Friendship over everything and that includes relationships. We put our friendship first and when we're together we don't bring up our relationship problems, for people who are dating within the circle."

"I agree!" Christina said, the first one to pipe up, the rest followed suit and Luke just nodded. 

"Let's lighten the mood a bit," I said, walking over to the coffee table and picking up invitation cards, "My mother is getting married in a couple of days and you're all invited!" 

"Can I bring a plus one?" Michael asked, a little unsure. 

"Yeah of course! Just text me if she or he, no one is judging," I said and a half-hearted laugh rang throughout the living room from everyone except Luke, which brought down the tension a little, "wants chicken or fish."

"Can I bring a plus one too?" Ashton asked playfully and I slapped his arm teasingly. 

"Christina do you want to be a bridesmaid?" I asked with a smile, hoping this will bring her mood up a little. 

"Yeah! I would love that." 

"Come on, I'll show you what you're going to have to wear. You'll love it! I picked it out myself!" 

"Luke, buddy," I heard Ashton say as I was leaving, "You okay?" 

"I will be."


	28. Chapter 28

"What's your favourite song?" Ashton asked, opening his eyes and looking up at me. My hand was running through his soft hair while he was lying down in my lap. 

"What?" 

"Your favourite song," He said, with a smile, "I haven't asked you then in a while and I want to know."

"God! You were such a pain in my ass back then," I commented, with a laugh. 

"I can give you a pain in the ass," He said with a smirk and I used my free hand to slap his shoulder playfully. "[But really, Dani](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_186/set?id=200086583), what's your favourite song."

"I guess it would have to be You and Me by Lifehouse," I said with a shrug, fingers still running through his hair. 

"How does that go?" 

" _'Cause it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why but I can't keep my eyes off of you_ ," I sang softly, looking at the ocean while leaning back on the rock, Ashton still laying peacefully on my lap.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you sing?" 

"You already knew the song, didn't you?" I said, shaking my head, smile still on my face. I never understood how Ashton changed me, how I used to be this girl who wanted nothing more than to leave, not be around people. But with him, I just can't stop smiling. I pushed the constant nagging of this voice that kept telling me that when I leave in 3 weeks, the girl that he changed, that he pushed away would come back. 

Ashton looked up at me and brought his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me down, crashing his lips with mine. My hair shielded us from the outside world, it let us stay in our little bubble. I smiled through the kiss and pulled away, leaning against the rock, chest heaving a little. 

"What was that for?" 

"Do I need a reason to kiss my beautiful girlfriend?" He asked with a dimpled smirk. 

"Cheeseball." I said with a grin and leaned down to kiss him again. When we pulled away we settled in a comfortable silence like before. My hand was running through his hair as he laid down in my lap with his eyes closed. 

"Are you excited for today?" He asked breaking the silence once again.

"The wedding?" 

"Yeah, your mother's big day!" 

"I am so excited! She won't let me see her while she's getting ready so Tee and I are getting ready together," I gushed. 

"You're going to look beautiful," He said, looking up at me like I was everything. I am still not used to him looking at me like that, so much so that I could feel my cheeks heat up and I had to look away. 

"You're biased," I accused as he took my fingers in his and started playing with them. 

"I'm not," He said and fluttered his eyes open, "You have a line of people fawning over you, but too bad for them, you're mine."

My heart started beating faster when he said that I was his. I bit my lip and shook my head, trying to get my heart to calm down. 

"I do not!" 

"Dylan, Liam-"

"Liam doesn't count! He doesn't even want me! He practically hates my guts for getting Reign to think straight." I said to my stubborn boyfriend. Boyfriend...Will I ever get tired of using that title? I don't think I will. 

"Fine then! Dylan for starters-"

"That doesn't count either! We went on one date!" I said with a laugh, "Plus, I came home to you, anyway." 

"It better stay like that!" He said playfully and brought me down for another passionate kiss. We broke away as my phone started ringing and Ashton groaned, "Why is it everytime I kiss you, the universe always cockblocks me?" I pecked him and took my phone out. It was my alarm signaling that I had to start getting ready. 

"Ash, I have to start getting ready now at Tee's house," I informed him, tapping his shoulder signaling that he had to get off my lap. 

"But I'm comfortable!" He whined, staying put. 

"I promise we can do this after the wedding, okay?" I said, leaning down and kissing him again. I really couldn't get enough of my boyfriend and I'm learning that, that is alright too, "But I really have to go!" 

"Come on, I'll drop you off." 

~~~

"Hey! I thought you weren't coming," [Christina said ](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_187/set?id=200129112)as she opened her door, phone in one hand and a coffee mug in another. 

"Sorry I got held up." I apologised, walking in and closing the door behind me, "Ashton and I were hanging out." 

"I just got up so don't worry about it," She said, her voice distant. 

"You look better." I commented, awkwardly, feeling like we're still treading on eggshells. 

"I am." She said, gulping down the coffee and setting it on the table.

"How are you Tee, really?" I asked, concern in my voice. 

"Honestly, I'm kind of over it." She answered with a shrug, not looking at me, but rather at her phone.

"Tee, don't do that." I said immediately recognising the signs, "Don't be like me. Don't shut yourself off. I know it seems like the most convenient and the easiest thing to do, but don't. I know it sucks right now, it hurts physically, emotionally, mentally. I can't promise that it'll get better right now,or even in a day, but I know that it will. As hard as it is, heartbreak is inevitable and it sucks because the one person you thought that you could trust with everything is the one that hurt you. I'm not telling you to forgive him or even forget what he did but Tee, you have to forgive yourself because I know you're killing yourself on the inside and on the outside. You're Christina frickin' Milton! Since when did you need a boy to be the proud, strong, sophisticated person that you are?!" 

I watched her reaction as I was speaking. Her bottom lip started to tremble and her eyes filled with tears as I finished. Before I could even breathe, she was launching herself at me, her arms wound around me as she buried her head in the crook of my neck. 

"It hurts! It hurts so badly, Dani. I don't know why h-he did it! He t-tried to e-" She started to babble and I could feel her hot, wet tears trail down my shoulder, wetting the back of my shirt before she just broke down. I was still in shock at seeing her like this and I had no idea what I could say, what I could do to make it better. What can you tell a broken-hearted girl? What could I possibly say to numb the pain? Could I even say anything? Should I? 

I didn't. 

I couldn't. 

So I just hugged her. I hugged her so tight that I hoped that I hugged her so tight that her broken pieces glued themselves back. Sobs wracked through her body so violently that she shook with every sob, every breath that she took. She was broken and there was nothing that I could do to fix it. I felt helpless, useless even. What kind of friend was I? Here my friend is, crying, broken and I am doing nothing to help her. 

After a couple of minutes of bawling her eyes out, her breathing got slower, her bawls reduced to soft sobs. She pulled away and wiped at her eyes, as if embarassed that she broke down. 

"I-I'm sorry. It's your mother's wedding and-"

"And nothing!" I said immediately, putting my hands on her shoulders, "So what if it's my mother's wedding day? How does that make your feelings any less valid? We're friends, Tee! That means being there for each other no matter what!" 

"I'm such a shitty friend! I didn't mean anything I said to you when I found out about Luke! I just..I was so hurt and I just-"

"Hey, hey!" I said, pulling her in for another hug, "I would have reacted the exact same way! I don't blame you for anything!" 

"I'm sorry." She said softly, hugging me tighter. 

"Enough sad talk!" I said, pulling away from the hug, with a huge smile on my face, "It's time we get all glammed up and show Luke how he made the biggest mistake of his life!" 

Christina flashed me a small smile and we ran up the stairs to get ready for the wedding. 

~~~ 

We arrived early, [Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_188/set?id=200144542) and I, all dolled up. Christina was a bridesmaid [and I was a maid of honour](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_176/set?id=199367453), so we both had our own tasks to do respectively. No one except the make up artist and the hairstylist was allowed to see my mother until she was all done. 

"Hey, I'm going to get the bouquets ready for the bridesmaids," Christina said as we reached the beach area where the wedding was being set up. 

"You alright?" I asked, more worried about her than the wedding. 

"I will be." She said with a small smile before walking off to where the florist was. 

I stood in the middle of the beach where people were running around and setting up for the wedding. I simply marvelled at it all. There was a white carpet already set up, flowing in between the two sections of chairs. On the white carpet were a mix of turqoise and purple petals - the theme of the wedding. The chairs were covered in white - one side dawning blue ribbons and the other purple. The carpet led to an arch that was facing the open sea. From where I was standing I could see a figure just walking up to stand underneath the arch, coming from the side instead of walking on the carpet. 

"I didn't expect to see you here so early," I said, walking up to the figure, dawned in a tux, "Cold feet already?" 

"No," He said simply, letting out a shaky breath, "I just can't believe this is actually happening."

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean that, all of this," He said gesturing around, "It just seems like a dream. The minute I saw your mother I knew that we were meant to be together. Like, she was the missing piece I didn't even know I needed till I looked at her. She's my soulmate and I can't believe this is happening - I can't believe this is reality and not a dream."

"Look Bryan, I know I haven't been the easiest person to...."

"It's okay, Dani," He said with a smile and moved closer to me, putting his hand on my shoulder, "We're family. Family fight, but they also forgive and forget."

"I just.." I said and let out a breath, "I'm just happy that you make my mother happy."

"She makes me happy too."

"I'm sorry for everything I did to you or said to you but I just want you to know that I will try from now on and I will-"

"I know." He said and smiled, "We're a family now." 

"We always were," I corrected and pulled him in for a hug, "And for the record, I always thought you were pretty cool." 

"Finally! Validation from my soon to be step-daughter! I can die in peace now." 

"I'll see you at the wedding, Bryan." I said with a laugh and turned around to walk away.

"I'll be the one in the tux!" Bryan shouted as I was walking away. 

"That only works if you're the bride! Almost all the other guys will be in a tux too!"

I laugh and continue walking to carry out my maid of honour duties...or well start them. My phone starts to buzz and I pick it up without looking at the caller id. 

"Hello?"

"Dani," The voice on the other side says, "It's time. Your mother wants to see you."

My heartbeat rose. It was happening. This is happening. I was feeling a million different emotions but the most prominent ones were definitely excitement and nervousness. I practically ran as fast as these heels would let me run. I would much rather prefer to be wearing my black hi tops right now but I guess these heels would do too. 

I saw the giant sign that read 'Do Not Disturb! The Bride is Getting Ready!' I snorted at the sign, thinking about how apt it was for my mother. I knocked on the door and waited impatiently. I could feel my heartbeat rise faster and faster as I heard the shuffling from the other side get closer.

"Who is it?" An unfamiliar voice asked.

"Dani," I coughed and quickly added, "Danielle. Her daughter." 

The door opened and I was glued to my spot, jaw on the floor. 

"Well?" My mother asked and immediately I teared. 

"Mom..." I said and couldn't get my brain to mouth filter to work. 

"Too much?" 

"Mom you look absolutely stunning," I marvelled at how the lace fabric clung to curves I didn't even know she had. I looked at the woman in front of me who I've known as being my mother but never did I see her like this - She was glowing and she had the biggest smile on her face. I saw a woman in front of me who was dressed in a strapless wedding gown, with a tiara on her head, completing her perfect updo. Tears sprung in my eyes and I tried my hardest to blink them back. 

"You really think so?" She asked, the smile never leaving her face as she fretted about the little details. 

"You're missing something though," I said with a knowing smirk. 

"What? What is it?" She said, freaking out. 

"Your something blue." I answered in a voice that couldn't be more than a whisper. She looked at me with a fond look and walked over in her silver heels. I passed her the wedding bouquet that I had put together myself, specially for her. It was dressed with pearls and blue and white flowers and being held with blue and white ribbons. She took it with tears in her eyes and pulled me in for a hug. 

"You're the best daughter anyone could ever ask for," She whispered, blinking back tears. 

"I don't think so," I said back, "But you are the best mother anyone can even dream of having. You've put up with so much of my shit and...I'm sorry-"

"You're  _my_  daughter! You were going through such a tough time and you have to remember that I'm always going to be here, through thick or through thin!" She said, pulling back from the hug so that I could look into her eyes. 

"Don't make me cry, mom." I said and took a deep breath, willing away the tears, "Today is supposed to be a happy day that's all about you!" 

"I'm so excited!" Mom said, knowing that I understood what she said and that I was on the same page as her. She always knows what I'm thinking, when I'm thinking it. Is that a mother thing? Always knowing what their child needs, wants and deserves? Always knowing when we need a hug, a scolding, a good heart to heart conversation...  

"Dani, the guests have started to arrive," Dad said after knocking on the door and pulling me out of my thoughts. 

"Go, Dani!" Mom said with a smile, and a glass of champagne in her hand.

"[You look beautiful, mom](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_185/set?id=200084166)," I said, still stunned, earning a grin from her and with that, I left the room and went to the wedding area that was set up on the beach. 

"Hey, Dani!" I heard from behind me as I walking to greet some of the guests. I turned around and saw a smiling Christina. 

"What's up, buttercup?" I ask, happy that she is happy. 

"I was told to help you greet the guests," She says, linking our arms together, "So I thought that we could do it together!" 

"You're awfully happy," I say with a laugh. 

"It's a wedding! It's meant to be a happy occassion! I don't want to put a damper on that." 

I nod in understanding, knowing what she meant. She was still in pain but then again who could blame her? She gave her heart to this boy only to have it crushed. Sure, he says he made a mistake, but this mistake caused her to have her heart broken into a million different pieces that may or may not be put together again, no matter how hard anyone tried. It was like broken glass, all of the pieces may seem to be there, but there is always going to be that small piece that would never be found. It was shattered forever. But she's Christina Milton! She's strong, stronger than people give her credit for. She's beautiful and gorgeous. She's poised. She's a Milton! She can do anything. 

We go around the room, greeting and thanking people for coming. Asking them how their day was and how they knew the couple. We were perfect ladies. Both Christina and I were talking to this lady when I felt a pair of arms around my waist. I turn my head and smile. 

"Dylan!" I say in excitement, turning around in his arms and hugging him, "I didn't know you knew my parents!" 

"I'm a Manson, remember?" He says with a laugh as we pull back from the hug, his arms still around my waist while mine moved to his biceps, "Your parents and my dad are great friends." 

Just as I was about to reply, someone cleared their throat from behind me. I broke away from Dylan's arms and turned around still with a smile on my face, I was the host of this wedding party after all. 

"Ashton!" I said excitedly, moving to hug him but he backed away which made me confused, "Are you okay?" 

"Hey Dylan." He said simply, walking to him with a blank expression on his face. 

"Hey, man!" Dylan replied with a smile, oblivious to Ashton's anger. 

"Would you excuse us for a second, Dylan?" I said and moved to Ashton, putting my hands on his arm, "Tee, would you show Dylan to his seat, please?" 

"What is your problem?" I said immediately as they were out of earshot. 

"Gee, I don't know! Maybe the fact that my girlfriend's ex's hands were all over her!" 

"We went on one date!" I sighed with a roll of my eyes, "And he wasn't 'all over me'! It was just a hug!" 

"You two looked awfully comfy for 'just a hug'," He said, face stone hard. 

"You're jealous of Dylan," I observed with a smirk. 

"I am not jealous of anyone!" 

"You have no reason to be," I say, snaking my arms around his neck and linking my fingers together, "I'm  _your_  girlfriend, Ash. Not his or anyone else's."

"I like the sound of that," He says softly and with a smile as he puts his hands on my waist, rubbing his thumb against my hips in what I think was an attempt to rid my body of any lingering touches that Dylan might have left. Sigh...boys and their possessiveness. 

"Where's Lauren and Harry?" I ask him, pulling away so I won't show too much PDA. 

"By the drinks counter with Luke." 

I intertwine my fingers with Ashton and beam up at him. He shakes his head while grinning and leans down to kiss me. I return the kiss for a couple of seconds and pull away. 

"Have I told you how beautiful you look yet?" 

"No. You were too busy being jealous," I tease, and stand on my tiptoes to peck his lips. 

"Well, you look absolutely stunning," He compliments and leans down to whisper in my ear, "And you're all mine." 

My heart flutters at the way he is being so adorably possesive. I shake my head and try to hide the blush as I pull him to the drink counter. 

"[Lauren, you look amazing](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=201003862)!" I compliment as I reach the table, fingers still linked with Ashtons. 

"Thank you! So do you!" 

Harry, Lauren, Luke, Ashton and I all engage in conversation for a couple of minutes, laughing and chatting away like nothing bad ever happened. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder and everything went silent. The atmosphere around us changed in a blink of an eye. 

"Dani, we have to go," Christina says, visibly shaken but trying to keep her emotions in check, "It's almost time for your mother to walk down the aisle."

"Hi, Christina," Luke says immediately, stepping forward. I hold Christina's hand in place, making sure she doesn't step back. I know that she wants to seem calm and collected and not wounded like she actually is. They're both suffering in their own ways and they both want to seem like they're better off when in reality they aren't. 

"Hey." She says, flashing him a small smile. 

Ashton looks at me, wanting to take Luke away but I shake my head subtly, letting him know that they had to do this. They want to be friends and they roam in the same friend circle. It can't be a stressful environment all the time. Time heals all wounds and practice helps too. 

"You look beautiful," He says softly and she winces. 

"Thank you." She says, taking in a breath before complimenting him, "You look handsome." 

"How are you?" He asks, voice still soft and raw. 

"I'd be lying if I said I was okay," She says honestly, which shocked us all.

"Me too," He confesses, fisting his hands by his sides even though all he really wanted was to reach out to her and pull her in for a hug, but he knew he'd lost that privilege already. "I didn't mean to break your heart, Tee."

"I didn't mean to fall in love either, Luke," She says and pulls her hand away from mine, "But I guess we all make mistakes." 

I watched as Christina walked away, head held high and looked back at Luke who had a broken look on his face. 

"Luke-" I said pitifully but he shook his head. 

"I deserved that." 

"I-I-" I started to stammer, racking my brain to find something, anything to calm the situation down but Ashton stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder. 

"Go." He said simply, "It's your mother's wedding day. She needs you right now." 

I looked at Luke, unsure of what the right thing to do was. He nodded in understanding and I turned to leave when I saw Michael approaching the group. I smiled at him, remembering that he wanted to bring a date and I was curious as to who it was going to be. My smile fell as soon as I saw who it was. 

"Ashton," I breathed, clutching on to his hand with a vice grip. He looked at me in confusion and turned around. He took a deep breath and shook his head when he saw who Michael brought with him. 

"What part of you thought that this was a good idea?!" I said through gritted teeth as I stalked up to him, Ashton in tow. 

"If you just let me expl-"

"No Michael! How could you bring  _her_ here after everything that has happened?!" 

"She has a name!" Michael scolded. 

"She is the girl that Luke cheated with!" I retorted. 

"Dani-" Reign tried to say but I cut her off immediately.

"[No, Reign](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_191/set?id=201079949)!" I said, voice growing. Just as I was about to give her a piece of my mind my phone started blaring. "Fix this!" I said to Ashton and stalked off, trying to calm my breathing and put on a happy face. 

"Where were you?" Christina asked, worried. 

"Tee, I need to tell you something-"

"Bridesmaids! In formation please!" The wedding planner said, clutching her clipboard near her chest, "Maid of honour in the front!" 

"Jesus Christ! Why does this happen everytime I try to tell you something?!" I groan in frustration. 

"What is it?" She asked, walking with me to get in formation, passing me the bouquet of flowers. 

"Reign is here." 

"Reign as in the girl that Luke-"

"She's Michael's date." 

"What am I going to do?" She asks, her eyes watering, "I don't think I can-"

"Of course you can! You're going to walk out there with your head held high and you're going to show everyone that nothing can break you! Especially not a boy!" 

"Ready everyone?" The wedding planner asks and I look at Christina.

"If I'm not ready now then I'll never will be," She mutters so only her and I can hear. I beam at my friend, reaching out and squeezing her hand for support.

The wedding music sounds and we down the aisle one by one. I look around me for a second and catch Ashton's eye. He beams up at me and mouths 'Gorgeous'. I shake my head subtly with a smile on my face and try to hide my blush. I look at my dad who is standing next to Bryan as his best man and smile up at him. Then I look at Bryan who is a nervous wreck under that arch and try to stifle the giggle. The bridesmaids all walk down and line up waiting for my mom to walk down the aisle. 

As soon as the music for her starts, everyone get's up. She is stunning. I look at Bryan and see him tear up with a grin on his face. Brides are beautiful no doubt, but what's even more beautiful is the reaction from the groom when their bride walks down the aisle. I look back at the crowd to see their reactions when I see Ashton only looking at me. I look back at him, puzzled and he's just grinning at me. I shake my head and motion for him to pay attention but he doesn't stop looking at me. 

"Do you Bryan Ramon take Moira Edwards to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health , till death do you part?" 

"I do." 

"Do you Moira Edwards, take Bryan Ramon to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"I do," She manages to say through the waterfall of tears. 

"By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." 

Bryan smiled broadly at my mom, grabbed her at the waist and dipped her while kissing her passionately. The crowd whooped and cheered. They made their way through the crowd and got into the car to make their way to the wedding reception destination. 

"You okay, baby?" Ashton asked, coming up to me and putting his arm around my waist,after the crowd settled down a little.

"Yeah," I said with a nod, "I just can't believe I was a part of their wedding. I wasn't invited the last time." 

"Maybe 'cause you weren't born?" He joked with me and kissed my cheek. 

"You're very lovey-dovey today," I commented, still in his arms. 

"I have a beautiful girlfriend! Can you blame me?" He said, grabbing my waist and dipping me like Bryan dipped my mother, and then smashed our lips together. I circled my arms around his neck and returned the kiss with a passion. After a minute, he brought us back up and I was swooning. I needed air-conditioning right now because that was hot. I had no words and all I articulate at this point is this: WOW! I could practically see the smugness oozing off Ashton as he rendered me speechless. A thought suddenly occurred to me. 

"What happened with the whole Mikey and Reign situation?" 

"I must not be doing something right if after that kiss all you can think about is Michael and his girlfriend." 

"His  _what_?!" I asked in disbelief. 

"Oh...Did I not mention that?" Ashton asked, wincing. 

"Where is he?" 

"Look babe-" Ashton tried to calm me down but I was having none of it. 

"Ashton, this is the girl that came in between Luke and Christina! Your two best friends!" I tried to explain how I was feeling to him. 

"What's Mikey then? Is he not one of best friends, too?" 

"He is but-"

"But nothing, Dani," He said, shaking his head, "He deserves to be happy too and if Reign does that then who are we to say otherwise?" 

"Where is he?" I sighed. 

"With Luke and the others." 

"Hey, Dani! Congratulations!" Calum said with a grin as soon as I walked up to them, Ashton right by my side. 

"Thanks." I said with a small smile, "Calum, you didn't bring a date with you?" 

"Nah. Too much responsibility," He said with a goofy grin on his face, "Plus bringing a date to a wedding is kind of a big deal. Shows them that you're serious about them and I don't really do serious relationships." 

"Michael, do you agree?" I asked in front of everybody. 

"I agree completely," He said and looked around, "Bringing a date to a wedding where you know your friends and everyone else will be is a statement. A statement to how much you care about that person and how much you just want to show them off and tell everyone that this person is yours and yours alone." 

"Mikey..." Reign said, looking up at him with a small smile and tears in her eyes. Who is this girl and what happened to the 'badass' Reign? 

"Even if that date has caused so much hurt to your friends?" Christina asked, her voice hoarse. 

"She didn't act alone." Michael said, his jaw set. 

"Look everyone, if you would please just let me say my side of the story," Reign pleaded and I nodded wanting to get all this drama out of the way, "That night I was out with some friends and we went to the club. Liam and I had long broken up and I realised that I deserved much better, and it was all because of you, Dani."

"Me? What did I do?" I asked, puzzled. 

"You told me the truth about him, something that not many people could've mustered up the courage to. You told me what a douche he was and even though I didn't listen at first, I started to notice it and then I broke up with him and we got into this huge fight. That's when I realised that I was worth so much more than this asshole who treats me like I'm absolute garbage-"

"Babe, you don't have to," Michael said softly to her.

"No Mikey, they deserve to know. I met Michael a couple of days after that and we got to talking and then some more. Long story short we went out on a couple of dates and he asked me to be his girlfriend. That night when I went out with my friends, Mikey and I had a fight. I was angry and I just wanted to forget because I thought that he would leave me, so I drank and I drank a lot. I don't know how Liam got there. Maybe he was following me or something, I don't know. All I know is that he was there and he wanted me to come back to him and when I said no, he just grabbed me and started to drag me off. Then Luke came and pretended to be my boyfriend. Liam knew I had one but he didn't believe it was Luke, so he kissed me to prove it." Reign said and looked to Christina who looked like she was in pain, "He really is a good guy Christina. I know you and I have bad blood but that was in high school! I was a downright bitch back then but I'm not that person anymore."

"What happened next?" Christina asked, folding her hands over her chest. 

Reign sighed and continued, "Luke kept trying to say something but it was too loud and I was still in shock so we went outside using the back way. He kept asking me if I was okay and if Liam had hurt me. I was angry over Liam and over my fight with Mikey and I was still drunk so I grabbed him and kissed me. At first he didn't kiss back, he kept trying to push me away but then he kissed me back. We were both drunk and we realised our mistake so we pulled away. He kept muttering your name and he was upset and-"

"It still happened, Reign." Christina said, voice shaky, "Cheating is cheating." 

"But we were drunk and-" Reign tried to justify her actions but Christina didn't want to relive the pain.

"Thank you for telling us your side of the story, Reign, but this is something Luke and Christina have to work out for themselves. It's not our place to get involved," Calum said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nodded and retreated back to Michael's arms. 

"I'm going to go get the stuff for the reception," Christina said, clasping her hands together, "I'll see you guys there." 

"We have a couple of hours to kill," Calum said looking at his watch, "You guys want to go to the bar near the venue?" 

"Dani and I will meet you guys there," Ashton said and I looked up at him in confusion but agreed anyways. 

"Great! I'll go get the car." Calum said with Luke in tow. 

"Hey Michael, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked and he nodded, following me away from Reign and Ashton. 

"What's up?" 

"Why are you with her even though she cheated on you?" I asked bluntly. 

"Wow, you get straight to the point, don't you?"

"Michael, come on. Be serious for a second." I said with a sigh and my hands crossed over my chest, "She cheated on you like Luke did with Christina. Why are you still with her?" 

"Because she told me the truth as soon as she got home. It was 3 in the morning and she called me. She was crying over the phone and I already knew how much she regretted it-"

"That's no exc-" I started to say but got cut off by Michael and his glare. 

"She's been through a lot in her life, Dani. I know that and I still love her for it." 

"You love her?" I asked, shocked. 

"I do." Michael stated, "She knows it but she doesn't want to go too fast and I understand that. I understand why she went out and got drunk. I understand that her way of dealing with things may be unconventional, but it's her and I love her. She's been through a lot and I understand her. It may suck for me sometimes but I know who she really is inside and I accept that." 

"But-"

"We all have flaws, Dani. If people broke up with other people because of one mistake or one flaw, there wouldn't be a single relationship left in the world." With that, Michael shot me a small smile and walked to Reign, taking her by the waist and walking to the car. 

"What happened?" Ashton asked. 

"He loves her," Was all I could manage to get out. 

"And?" 

"He's deluding himself." 

"Because he loves her?" Ashton asked, confused. 

"Because he only thinks he does." 


	29. Chapter 29

"Tell me why you guys decided to have the wedding reception on the other side of town again?" Ashton complained as he was stuck in traffic, glaring at me. 

"Because I know my mother," I said, looking at him with a playful glare, "And I know that she would want to be alone with Bryan. I also know that she will need some time to actually believe that she is married and that this isn't a dream."

We sat in comfortable silence, only the soft music from the radio breaking it. Ashton's fingers with interwoven in mine as I played with it, fiddled with his fingers in between mine. I think I finally got it. I finally understood why people held hands. I used to think that it was possessive; that it was a way of telling the world that you owned this person, that this person was yours and only yours, like property. But it's not. It's about maintaining contact. It's about speaking through something other than words. It was about saying everything and nothing at the same time. It's about connecting with someone in a way that you thought only happened in books and movies. It's about wanting the other person with you. It's about screaming  _I want you! I need you! Stay with me. Don't go._

"Baby?" Ashton cooed and I looked up from our fingers to him with a smile. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you still not going to tell me-"

"No, Ashton." 

"But, I'm your boyfriend!" He whined and I had to stifle a giggle. 

"And I'm your girlfriend." 

"We're in a relationship and that means no secrets!" He said, trying to convince me to tell him and I wanted to interject and tell him that he was being a hypocrite. He still hadn't told me about Brittany and his relationship; but I held my tongue. Why ruin a good mood, right?

"Ash, you're going to find out a little while, anyway."

"But, I want to know now!" He whined and I rolled my eyes.

"How about you get us there safely and I'll think about telling you?" I said, patting his hand. Ashton sighed playfully and put both his hands on the steering wheel. 

"You're being unfair," Ashton said, moping and I giggled. 

"It's called a wedding surprise for a reason, Ash!" 

We reached the hall and Ashton parked the car. 

"You nervous?" He asked, turning the engine off and looking at me. 

"A little bit, yeah," I breathed. 

"What's there to be nervous about?" 

"The surprise." I answered simply. 

"Do you think they won't like it?" 

"I hope they do."

"They're your parent's babe, they're going to love it even if you walked up there in a garbage bag and sat on the stage and did nothing but eat cereal," Ashton said. 

"That's a little bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" 

"You know what I mean," He said, leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek, "Ready?"

"Will you be with me?"

"Every step of the way."

"Then I'm ready." 

We walked into the hall and saw Christina frantically directing the finishing touches, pointing at things and directions. I could hardly keep up.  

 

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked, prying my hand out of Ashton's grasp and walking over to her. 

 

"You're late." She said, spinning around immediately with her hands on her hips. 

"What?" 

 

"Dani, how can you be late to your mother's wedding reception!" She chastised 

 

"Traffic?" I asked more than said. 

 

"Everyone will be arriving in about 20 minutes and the lights still aren't hung up and the flower arrangement is wrong and-"

 

"Breathe, Tee, breathe," I said, placing my hands on her shoulders, "Where are the other bridesmaids?" 

 

"Drunk."

"You're doing this all alone?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Christina answered. Just as I was about to say something else, she held up a finger, turned around and started directing the florist and the decorator as to what their jobs were. She was more composed and it seemed like _this_  is what she was born for.

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked and suddenly Ashton was right beside me. 

"The guests should be coming any minute now," She said, looking at the time on her phone, "Stall them while I finish this up?"

"Now that we can do," Ashton told her, smiling cheekily at me. 

~~~

"Ladies and gentlemen," The emcee for the night announced, as we were all in our seats, grabbing our attention, "Please rise as I introduce, for the first time, Mr and Mrs Bryan Ramon!" 

The whole hall stood up, cheered and clapped as the newly weds walked into the hall. Christina, Luke, Calum, Michael, Reign, Dylan,[ Brittany](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_192/set?id=201081816), Nathan, Ashton and I were sitting on one table right in front of the stage. Mom was grinning from ear to ear, her hair was out of its updo and was now flowing free in waves, cascading down her back with a halo braid to still make it seem fancy. Bryan was looking at her like she was his whole world; like she just gave him everything that he could ever ask for. They were happy. They are happy. 

We were in the middle of eating dessert, after finishing the main course when Christina tapped my forearm and leaned in.

"Are you ready?" Christina whispered into my ear.

"I'm nervous," I whispered back. 

"Does Ashton know?" She asked and I looked to my right where he was sitting, engaged in conversation with the boys. 

"No," I said, "But he wouldn't shut up about me not telling him." 

"Ugh, boys," She said with a scoff and then we burst into giggles, ignoring what the emcee was saying, "And then they say we're the whiny ones." 

"You did an amazing job with the decorations, Tee," I complimented, putting my hand on her shoulder. 

Just as she was about to say something, someone put their hand on my shoulder and we turned around. It was one of the bridesmaids leaning down to whisper, "It's time." 

"I'm sure you'll do an amazing job with the surprise," Christina said, as I got up. 

"Good luck kiss?" I leaned down to whisper in Ashton's ear. 

"As if I ever need a reason to kiss my girlfriend," He whispers as he leans in. He pecked my lips and as I was leaning back, he leaned in and captured my lips, his hand on my waist, keeping me in place. I grin in the kiss and put my hands to his shoulders pushing him back. 

"We can continue this later," I say with a giggle. 

"Good luck, baby." 

"Will you be needing this?" The bridesmaid asked, grabbing the guitar by its neck. 

"Yeah," I breathed, a weight suddenly on my chest. I haven't played in public in a long time and I was scared. I didn't know if I could still do this and if I do, things will change. The last time I picked up the guitar was the night of the boys' competition and I didn't tell anyone about it. When Ashton saw me, I felt like the guitar was branding me, burning me. 

She passed me the guitar with a smile and I reached out. Part of me was soaring but the other was falling. 

"You'll do fine," She said with a smile and I shot her one back. 

"And now, a very special surprise for the newly weds," The emcee announced, signaling me to start walking on the stage. I took a deep breath and put the guitar strap around me as I walked out with a plastered smile on my face. My eyes wandered the crowd until I found my mom who had tears in her eyes when she saw me with the guitar. Then I looked for my dad, who was sitting right in front with the biggest smile on his face that I've ever seen. But as usual, in a crowd full of people, I couldn't help it when my eyes found Ashton. I didn't know that I was even looking for him until I saw the dimpled smile of the boy that I used to hate. 

I took my place in the middle of the stage where there was a mic stand already placed there. 

"Hi everyone," I started, "For those of you who don't know me, my name is Danielle Walker, the proud daughter of the most beautiful bride in the world. For those of you who do know me, my name is still Danielle Walker, the proud daughter of the most beautiful bride in the world." 

The crowd laughed and I continued, "You're probably wondering what I'm doing on stage and if you haven't already guessed by the fact that I'm carrying a guitar, it's that I'm going to play a song. Now you're probably wondering, again, why this is so important and why my mom and dad are crying. So let me give you a little backstory." 

At this point, the hall was quiet and everyone was listening intently; something I didn't really expect. I expected them to roll their eyes at my antics and start talking amongst themselves. But they didn't. 

"My dad, Robin Walker, is a musician and he taught me everything that I know. He was the reason that I started to love music. We used to dream of playing on a stage in front of thousands of people. But when my parent's got divorced, I stopped playing entirely. But today," I said, looking at my mom who had tears streaming down her face , "For this amazing occassion, I decided that I'm not going to stop anymore. I love my parents too much for that. So mom and my new dad, Bryan, would you allow me to play the song for your first dance?" 

Bryan got up and escorted my mom to the dance floor. She was smiling and wiping her tears. 

"This one is for you guys," I said, taking a deep breath before taking the guitar pick and strumming out the first notes to my mother's favourite song - Something About The Way You Look Tonight by Elton John.

_"There was a time,_

_I was everything and nothing all at once,_

_When you found me,_

_I was feeling like a cloud across the sun."_

Bryan took the lead on the dance as I sang and strummed the guitar, the backup band soft in the background. He spun my mom around the dancefloor, pulling her closer and nuzzling her neck. Mom was beaming, tightening her grip on Bryan as he pulled away, spun her around and dipped her. She giggled as he leaned in and captured her lips with his. The crowd was cheering and whooping; I struggled not to giggle, trying to keep singing. Bryan lifted her and continued dancing. If you looked closely, you could see how Bryan was singing to her softly, his eyes twinkling with happiness and mischief. 

They were happier than they have ever been in that very moment. 

As the last chord of the song rang throughout the hall, the couple stopped. For that split second, I was alone in the room. No parents, no family, no friends, no Ashton...No one but me, that acoustic guitar, the mic stand and the empty hall. I just sang and played the guitar and it was as if I didn't stop. The music was flowing through my veins, searing my skin with every note I sang and every chord I played. Then there was applause. Just the applause and cheering; no people. Then I realised that this isn't something I ever want to give up again. This is something I want to keep doing at whatever cost. This is me. 

I got off stage after bowing and congratulating the happy couple and was immediately met with a crowd of my friends who were congratulating me. My mother and Bryan pushed through the crowd; my mother being the first to pull me into a soul crushing hug. I could feel her tears on my shoulder. I laughed as I hugged her back. 

"That was the best present I have ever gotten," She said as she cried on my shoulder. 

"Aww mom," I said with a laugh, rubbing her back, "I'm just happy that you're happy." 

"I am." She said, pulling back and wiping her tears, right back at Bryan's side. It was as if they were magnets. Some force just pulling them together and you could tell from a mile away, "He makes me happy." 

"She makes me happy, too." Bryan said, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Happier than I ever thought I could be." 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the dance floor is now open," The emcee announced and I grinned at Bryan. 

"Bryan, do you want to dance with me?" I asked him and he held out his hand for me to take. As we were walking to the dance floor, I could hear my mother laughing in the background. 

Bryan took my hand and placed his hand on my waist as he took the lead in the 'father-daughter' dance, as I'm calling it. 

"I'm happy that you guys are happy," I said over the music. 

"But?" 

"You're expecting a but?" I teased. 

"There's always a but," He said with a coy smile. 

"But," I said, "She's still my mom, Bryan."

"And?" 

"And I don't want her to get hurt," I said with a sigh, "She's been through more than enough. I've seen her at her best and her worst. She's an emotional woman and she thinks she's in love now, but I've seen-"

"Do you believe in soulmates, Dani?" He interrupted and I looked at him quizzically.

"No." I answered firmly. 

"Why not?"

"To me it's just people trying to hold on to this warped idea of romantic destiny and it's all bullshit," I said in a breath, "It's just like the idea of love, Bryan. Made to sell movies, books, novels, stories, even songs. It's just feeds the capitalist agenda."

"Well I do." 

"Why?" 

"A soulmate isn't just someone you're in love with, and I know you might find this cliche, but a soulmate is your best friend. Your mom is _my_  best friend. Your mom is my soulmate. She accepted me for who I am, for what I am and I know that I can carry her with me through everything. I know she'll be there for me through everything. She's the one person who actually knows me, who actually accepts me for me. She's the one person who believed me, believes in me even when I don't believe in myself. And I know that no matter what happens, or what obstacles life brings, that she'll be right by my side and I hers. I love her and nothing can change that."

"Like you said, Bryan, it's too cliche and rehearsed." 

"Don't you have that one person, Dani? That one person who you know that no matter what happens, or what has happened, they haven't given up on you? That they won't stop fighting for you or what you believe in?" Bryan asked with a seemingly knowing smile as he spun us around. 

"May I cut in?" A voice from behind me said and we stopped dancing. 

"Well, I guess that answers my question." Bryan says as he passes my hand into the bigger, warmer hand. A hand that I've gotten very used to. 

"You did amazing on stage, like you were born for it."

"Thank you, Ashton." 

"What was Bryan talking about? What answers?" Ashton asked, his arm tight around my waist, hand intertwined in mine while my fingers on my other hand were playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"Nothing, really. Just some father, daughter stuff," I said, brushing it off. 

"You just called him your father," Ashton says pleasantly surprised. 

"What? No I didn't," I denied, eyes wide. 

"You did."

"I did?"

"You did," Ashton says, nodding. 

"Huh, guess I did," I say as Ashton spins us around the dancefloor. 

"Hey, look there," Ashton says, cocking his head subtly to his right.

I turn my head and see Luke holding out his hand to Christina. She looks at it and back at Luke's face before placing her shaky hand in his. Luke seems surprised, but only for a second before he breaks out into a full blown grin; something that none of us has seen since they broke up. He leads both of them onto the dancefloor, placing his hands on her waist while hers snakes behind his neck. They dance awkwardly for a while until Luke starts whispering something to Christina and suddenly she struggles to hold back tears. 

"Do you think they'll ever get past it?" Ashton asks, tearing my gaze away from them and back onto Ashton. 

"I don't know how they can." 

"I think they will." Ashton says firmly. 

"Why?"

"Because they love each other," Ashton says, eyes locked with mine, "And at the end of the day love is stronger than some stupid mistake that he made. He regrets it, and that allows for forgiveness." 

"So, you're one of _those_ ," I said and stole a glance at Christina and Luke who were whispering to each other more fiercely. Luke wiped Christina's tears with his thumb and pulled her closer to him. 

"One of those?" Ashton asked.

"You know, those people who believe in this love bullshit and allude themselves into thinking that love is a valid enough reason to forgive everything."

"And you don't?"

"I don't believe in love, Ashton," I told him, "You know that."

"Why not, Dani?"

"Ash, to me love is all bullshit. I've seen this so called love of yours die out too many times to be considered real. Do you know what you become when you believe in this 'love'? A pawn. A pawn in capitalism. That's all you and your love is. It's a way of exploiting people to get money from them. Look at Valentine's Day. People practically kill themselves to run around and plan the perfect day, buy the perfect gift and perfect flowers and wine and champagne and a big diamond ring. Don't you see it, Ash? It's fake! Love isn't real. It's nothing more than a capitalist scheme, tricking you into thinking that it's real."

"So if I ever tell you that I love you..." Ashton said, his voice cracking in the end, "You wouldn't believe me?" 

"It's not love, Ash," I tell him, "It's just infatuation and nothing more. It's you alluding-"

"What about Bryan and your mom? What about Luke and Christina? Michael and Reign?" Ashton asked desperately. 

"Bryan found my mom after her divorce. Luke cheated on Christina and Reign cheated on Michael with Luke after seeing her shitty ex-boyfriend, Liam," I explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Still want to talk to me about love?"

"What about us?" He asked, stopping us in the middle of the dancefloor, eyes going dark with sadness. 

"What about us, Ash?" I asked him back. 

"Where is this going?" 

"Ash..." I trailed off, "This was supposed to be fun. We're supposed to have fun."

"What if what I'm feeling is more than just 'fun', Danielle?!" 

"Don't." I said desperately, "Not today, please Ash, not now." 

"We're going to have to talk about this."

"Soon, I promise," I said, clutching to whatever hope I had left, "Just, not here; not at my mother's wedding."

"May I cut in?" Mr Paul Robertson said and I have never felt more relief than I did at that very moment. I let out a breath and took his extended hand, not looking back at Ashton. 

"Did you enjoy the ceremony, sir?" I asked as we got in position. He was professional about everything and you could tell that he gave off this air of being superior,but not in a demeaning way. He is still incredibly down to earth, but there was something about th way he carried himself that demanded respect; even when he was dancing. 

"I did, Danielle. Thank you for asking," He said with a smile, "You know what my favourite part was?" 

"What?" 

"When you got on that stage and sang your heart out to your mom."

"Thank you, sir."

"It really showed me how deserving you are of the Son Scholarship," He said with a sly smile and I returned it. I was silent for a while and I was thankful that he didn't try to make anymore conversation, instead just letting me mull over his words. My eyes scanned the room while Mr. Robertson was twirling us slowly and I saw Ashton. I thought about what he said, what we were...It was only supposed to be a fling. I can't do more than a summer. I'm going to hurt him and I know that I will. 

Ashton deserves someone who can love. Who is capable of alluding herself into thinking that the chemicals released from her brain when she sees him is love. He deserves the world and then some. And I can't give that to him. 

I don't know what Ashton expects out of me but I can't give him what he wants. I can't do love. I don't do love. It's not real and I can't pretend that it is. He's going to go his own way, and I'm going to go mine. 

"I'll take it, sir," I said. 

"Pardon me?"

"I'm accepting the scholarship."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a huge, huge, huuuuuuge shoutout to Ketchup_Swift and KellyWoods for reviewing and supporting this fic throughout the good and the bad. Thank you guys so so so soooo much for those reviews, you have no idea how much it makes my day when I see a new review. I honestly squeal and fangirl so much it's crazy ahaha. So this chapter is dedicated to both of you! You guys are awesome and I love you! <3 
> 
> I also want to thank all of you who leave Kudos to this fic. It means so much to me that you guys love it! Thank you guys so much! 
> 
> I hope you loved the new chapter! Tell me what you thought of it <3
> 
> Have an amazing week guys!


	30. Chapter 30

"Love."

"Yeah?" [I asked, looking](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=203593854) up from the sandwich that Ashton had made for a private picnic on the rock. It had become our place. 

I missed Ashton. I hadn't seen him for 3 days and already I was having withdrawal symptoms. I felt like a stupid pre-teen girl with a crush on someone that she would never have. Forget the fact that I had practically memorised all his features from the curly blonde hair to his long, slender legs. I still couldn't stop drinking him in.

I was busy helping my mom and Bryan with their wedding gifts and packing for their honeymoon in the Maldives and Ashton was busy with the boys. He wouldn't tell me what they were doing but I trusted him, so I didn't push him on the issue.

"I wasn't calling you, Dani," He said, taking a sip from his beer, "I was asking you."

"About what?" I asked, not paying much attention to anything but this sandwich and my thoughts (which I chose to keep hidden) God damn this sandwich was like an orgasm but for your mouth - foodgasm. If I could get married right here right now, it would be to this sandwich. 

"About love." 

That grabbed my attention. 

"Ash," I sighed, "We've talked about this."

"Have we, though?" He stated rather than asked, "Because to me it was set aside, like some topic that we would rehash in the future."

"Can't we enjoy the now?" I begged slightly, "Like this sandwich, holy shit I want to do things to this sandwich. It's amazing!" 

"Thanks, it's a secret recipe," Ashton said, "But back to the topic-"

"I don't want to fight, Ash." I said simply, hoping that he would drop it.

"Who said anything about fighting?"

"Think about it," I said, taking a bite out of the sandwich, "You are an emotional person; one who believes deeply in the concept of love. I, on the other hand, do not think that it is real. You think that you can convince me while I know that it is all bullshit."

"You're an emotional person!" Ashton argued. 

"Yeah, but I know what's real and what's not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know I've always wondered why people think love is real, why they believe so deeply in it.  They believe so much in love that they're willing to sacrifice everything for it! Literally everything, even their lives," I say in amazement, "But if you think about it, this love thing is just about sadness, there's so much tyranny; you have to always bow your head and agree with everything the other person says, you always have to smile. If you ask me, there's no need to add this kind of poison in your life." 

"There's no point living if there's no love," Ashton retorted, "Think about it, Dani. You would be so lonely without love - without your mom, your dad, Bryan, Nathan, your friends. There's so much love there. Love makes the world go round, it's beautiful in every single way. It brings millions of colours, it decorates your life. Some people say that love is a sea, it weighs as much as Gold. It takes you on different adventures, it rules your heart."

"That right there is why we're different and can't have this conversation without it landing us in hot water." I point out, finishing my sandwich and dusting off my hands from crumbs.

"What?"

"You think that love is beautiful in every way and I think that it's useless. You think that all forms of love are truthful and real and I think that it's bullshit and I can't get as far away from it as possible."

"How do you know that love isn't real?" Ashton asked after a beat of silence. 

"Ash," I replied with an exasperated sigh, "We've been over this. Love is just a bunch of chemicals-"

"No, Dani!" He interrupted, "How do you know it isn't real? Have you ever felt it?" 

I didn't reply. How could I possibly reply to that?

"What does love feel like?" I asked him. 

"Love is..." Ashton said but stopped himself, as if he was trying to find the perfect words to describe it, "Love is love."

"Gee, that's descriptive," I muttered under my breath. 

"Well it's true," Ashton said with a laugh, "I can't describe it but I know that it's beautiful."

"Why choose to fall in love then?" 

"You don't choose who to fall in love with or where you're going to fall in love. It isn't a well thought out plan. Love just happens."

"You don't even know what love is," I pointed out, "You can't possibly know you're in love."

"Who said I'm in love?" Ashton asked her with a smirk and cocked eyebrow.

"Well I just assumed that you're speaking from experience," I sputtered out, suddenly feeling like I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar. 

"You want to know what love feels like?" He asked.

"Educate me," I said sarcastically, leaning back on the palm of my hands and stretching my feet on the picnic rug. 

"Love is realising that you want to spend every moment with that one person. Love is when you close your eyes and you only see that one person and that even when they aren't there you feel like they are. Love is when you're open and vulnerable. Love is when you know that you're willing to sacrifice everything and more for them. Love is forgiveness. Love is acceptance of stupid mistakes, pain, flaws and fights but love is also happiness and completion and seeing perfection in imperfection." 

My heart was beating a hundred times faster and I could hear it. I was breathless. I didn't know what to say. 

"Do you know how you really know when you're in love?" Ashton asked me, staring deep into my eyes. 

"No," I managed to squeak out. 

"When you look at them and you can feel your heart beating at a million miles an hour. When you look into their eyes and you know that you never want to see a single tear come out of there. When you look at them and you're speechless. When you only want to spend time with that one person. When they look at you and you're breathless. When you know that you want to spend your entire life with this person and not a single moment apart. When you look at them and you only see beauty. When they could be wearing a potato sack and still look like the most beautiful person in the world." 

With each sentence that Ashton spoke, he leaned closer and closer towards me. We sat there with our faces centimeteres apart. I could feel his hot breath fanning over my face. We were so close that if either of us moved, even a little bit, our lips would collide in an explosion that I have come to love so much. But we didn't. Neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke a word; we just looked at each other with so much intensity that it paralysed us. 

My heart was thumping; beating like a hummingbird's wings. The way that Ashton looked at me snatched my breath away. He's beautiful. His eyes give away so much, yet his lips..so little. 

"Ash," I whispered breathlessly. 

"Shhh," He said and closed the miniscule gap between our lips, capturing mine in a passionate embrace.

We didn't fight for dominance, we just enjoyed each other. His lips moved over mine like it was the first time he was kissing me; slowly, taking his time to explore me. My hands cupped his face, pulling him towards me. His hands travelled to my waist, picking me up and setting me on his lap. We pulled away breathless, staring at each other with lust and passion in our eyes. I was panting, chest heaving up and down.

My hands moved to the front of his shirt and I clutched the material in my fists pulling him towards me and recapturing our lips in a heated kiss. His hands skimmed my waist, moving underneath my crop top and squeezing my bare waist. He ghosted his fingers across my stomach, and I shivered, which made him moan. I pulled away, leaning my forehead against his. 

"Ash," I whispered breathlessly, panting. 

"God, I want you," He said while biting his already swollen lips. His voice was husky and raspy. I had to hold back my moan. He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek, pulling me towards him as he captured my lips with his. He kissed me once, twice and then a third time, with more passion. "Not here."

"What?" I almost whined, panting with need for him. 

"I don't want our first time to be here." He said, "Trust me, I want you. I want you bad. But not here, baby."

"Cockblock much," I teased, untangling myself from him and getting off his lap, smoothening out my hair and clothes to look presentable. 

"It's harder for me than it is for you," He said, letting out a breath and leaning his head on the rock. 

We sat in silence, my head resting on his chest as he pulled me closer to him, placing a soft kiss to my forehead. I looked up at him and smiled. He returned the gesture, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. 

"Did you like the picnic?" He asked. 

"I liked the part where your lips were on mine." I said cheekily.

"So did I," He teased, pecking my lips.

"I loved the picnic, Ash," I said, "Thank you for spoiling me."

"Anytime, baby," He said with a grin, "I love spoiling you. You deserve the world."

"Does that world include you?"

"If you'll have me."

"Always." I said and leaned up to place a kiss on his swollen lips. God, I can't get enough of him. 

"For someone who doesn't believe in love, you sure are lovey," Ashton commented and I slapped his chest, playfully.

"Only for you, Boardshorts."

"Damn right, Rolling Stones."

~~~

"Dad! I'm home!" I announce as I walk through the door, pulling my hair back into a ponytail and making a beeline straight to my room. I check to see if Nathan is in the room before locking it and heading to my cupboard, stripping off the crop top and shorts and putting on [more comfortable clothes.](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=203595051) Nothing beats shorts and a soft t-shirt. I walk out of the room and into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water before heading to the living room where I see my dad strumming the guitar with a pencil in his mouth. 

"Hey kiddo!" He greets when he sees me. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Just..." He says, taking the pencil out of his mouth, "Thinking. Yeah, I'm just thinking."

"You alright, dad?"

"Yeah, sweetie. I'm fine."

"What is it? What's bothering you?" I ask, sitting on the floor opposite him, with my legs propped up, arms wrapping around the knees.

"I was just thinking," Dad said, brushing it off. 

"You already said that," I pointed out with a smile, encouraging him to tell me what was going out. 

"Things have changed, Dani," He sighed and I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding what he was talking about, "Things have changed. Things are changing and at first it was great! I got my family back but now, everything is going to go back and I don't like it."

"Dad," I said, "Are you talking about the fact that mom is now married to Bryan and that Nathan and I are going home in 2 weeks?"

"I guess I'm just afraid that you will go back to hating me and I'll be..." He said and struggled to get words out. I swear I felt my heart breaking for him right then and there, "I'm afraid that I'll be what I was when things got bad." 

"I heard about that," I said cautiously, "What happened?" 

"I was in a bad place, Danielle," He said, shaking his head as if he was shaking away the bad memories, "After your mom and I got the divorce, I moved here. I did nothing but drink all day. I would barely leave the house and I lived on any alcohol I could get my hands on and take out." 

"That's understandable," I said, trying to comfort him. 

"That's not it." He said with a frown, "There was this one day...I-I woke up hungover and I couldn't remember anything. I didn't know where I was. All I could smell was smoke and it hurt to breathe-"

"Dad you don't have to," I interrupted, putting my hand on his shoulder. I could tell how hard this was for him and I couldn't stand to see him like this. I felt guiltier than ever. I treated him so badly, not knowing how much he was going through, how much he went through.

"No. I need to talk about this sometime. Why not now?" He said with a half-hearted laugh, "I was so drunk. I got so drunk that I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and I could've sworn that I was still drunk. All I could smell was smoke. I could barely open my eyes but there was so much noise and it hurt. It hurt so badly. I was pulled up by someone and all I could remember after that was a bright white light and this guy asking me a bunch of incoherent questions."

"Dad.." I said helplessly. 

"I'm okay, Danielle," He reassured, "I later found out that I, while in my drunken state, took a bunch of pictures and newspaper clippings and papers and a bunch of other things that they couldn't identify, a bottle of vodka, a gallon of gasoline and burned down a very important building."

"What building?" 

"A storage building filled with archives of the town's history, deeds-" 

"It's okay,dad. It's alright," I said, lunging towards him and pulling him into a hug, "We all make mistakes. Obviously they aren't mad at you or hold a grudge against you."

"I worked it off. I built a new building and they-"

"Dad, you really don't have to..." I said, pulling away.

"I built a new storage unit; a better storage unit. I got the deeds replaced and I researched and it's all back to normal now." He rushed out with a shaky voice, "They forgave me after they saw what a wreck I was and what this was doing to me but it doesn't make what I did any better."

"We all screw up once in a while, dad," I said wisely, "We all deserve a second chance. We deserve redemption. I'm no better. I got caught for petty theft just before I came here. It was actually one of the reasons that mom forced me to come here; other than bonding time with you of course."

"I heard about that, but I decided that you've had a rough enough time already so I wasn't going to pester you about it."

"It was stupid," I said, waving it off, "There were these girls who I thought were good friends of mine but turned out to be total bitches. Long story short, they put some expensive clothes in my bag when I was trying out some clothes in the changing room. I got caught but they didn't charge me. Apparently the guy who booked me owes mom a favour."

"I knew you didn't do it." He said with a smile.

"You did?"

"I even told your mother than you wouldn't do this, that this wasn't you."

"How could you be so sure?"

"Because you know better," Dad said vaguely and I cocked my eyebrow, a signal that he should elaborate, " I knew for sure because regardless of how much you want to rebel or go against us, you have a conscience and that conscience is stronger than all forces."

"That's a cheesy answer." I teased with a laugh. 

"Actually, I knew because your mom updates me every week about you guys and she also sends pictures. In all those pictures you were still wearing your grandmother's necklace," He said, taking my necklace in his hands, holding it as if it were so delicate that it would with a sudden move.

"You knew that I would never do anything to disappoint her."

"Her, your mom, me, Nathan, Bryan," Dad listed, letting the necklace go, "But most of all you didn't want to disappoint yourself."

"You always do know the best things to say," I tell him with a huge smile on my face. 

"I'm just glad you don't hate me anymore," Dad says with a laugh, pulling me by my shoulders for a bear hug. 

"Truth be told, I never hated you," I said, "I was just hurt and I really wanted an explanation."

"Did you get a satisfactory one?" He asked, pulling back from the hug. 

"I wouldn't be here talking to you so openly if I didn't," I teased, "Hey where's Nathan?"

"With Harry and his other friends in the park." 

**_Ding Dong_ **

"Sweetie, get the door please." Dad said, reaching out for his guitar and pencil.

"Coming!" I announced, jumping off the floor and towards the door. I opened it to find a breathless [Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=203604762). 

"Tee?"

"Luke called." She managed to pant out, "And I ran all the way here to tell you."

"What? Are you okay?" I rushed out, "What's going on?"

"They got it, Dani!" She screamed excitedly, lunging towards me and hugging me tight. 

"What?" I asked, confused, "Tee, what are you talking about?"

"Luke said that I was the first one he called, after the boys of course." Christina babbled. 

"Tee! Stop!" I said, trying to calm her down, "What is going on?"

"The auditions?" She said, as if she were trying to jog my memory, "You know, the auditions that the boys have been doing for the record companies the past 3 days? Well, one company called and they've signed the boys!"

"What auditions, Tee?" 

"Ash didn't tell you, did he?" Christina said, realisation dawning on her.

"No."

"Their band just got signed to a major record label!" She said and I smiled. 

"Good! I'm so happy for them. They deserve this!" I said with a smile, trying to ignore the pang of hurt that my boyfriend didn't tell me what was going on. 

"The record label is in Australia," She said slowly, "They have to move to Australia in a week."


	31. Chapter 31

"If you're going to blow up, just do it already," [Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=204740276) said, propping herself on her elbows with her sunglasses still on her face. I kept my eyes closed, laying on the soft beach towel working on my tan. 

"What are you talking about, Tee?" 

"You!" She exclaimed, crossing her legs under her and looking at me. [I sighed and propped myself on my elbows](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=204741787), pushing my sunglasses to the top of my head. 

"Cared to enlighten me? 'Cause I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I told you about Ashton, your boyfriend, who is **moving**  to different continent that is  _all the way_  on the other side of Earth, and you're not even doing anything about it!" Christina cried out. 

"What can I do about it?" I asked, pushing my sunglasses down and lying on the beach towel. 

"Talk to him!" 

"And tell him what, Tee?" 

"Something!" She said, throwing her hands in the air, "Anything!" 

I shot up from the beach towel and pushed the sunglasses back up before explaining in a slightly annoyed tone.

"You don't seem to get that both of us knew that this _thing_  that we have with each other was only supposed to last the summer!" 

"That _thing_  is called a relationship!" She countered, gritting her teeth. 

"You're more upset about this than I am," I scoffed. 

"That's what so frustrating, Dani!" She said, shaking her head, "You don't seem to care at all!" 

"I've made peace with the fact that this thing is-"

"Call it what it is, Dani," Christina interrupted, "A relationship."

"Fine!" I said, rolling my eyes, "I've made peace with the fact that this relationship was only going to last the summer."

"Summer's not over yet, Dani." Christina reminded, getting off the beach towel and throwing her sunglasses on it. 

"He didn't tell me," I said, voice barely over a whisper. 

"What?" 

"He hasn't told me about Australia, Tee," I sighed, "He didn't even tell me about the record companies."

"Is that why you're..." She said, trailing off, "Not caring?"

"It's not that I don't care, Tee," I said with a sigh, looking at the 4 boys who were laughing while playing in the ocean, "I already knew that this would end at the airport. I just didn't know that it would be me sending him off." 

"What now?" She asked after a beat of silence. 

"I enjoy what time I have left with him," I replied with a small smile. 

"What about him not telling you? It's not like he knows that you know."

"Knowing him, he probably thought that he was protecting me by keeping me in the dark," I said with a laugh, "I bet you that he thought that he wouldn't even get the record deal so there was no point in telling me to 'upset' me." 

"Why are you laughing?" Christina asked, puzzled. 

"Because my boyfriend is an idiot," I said with a laugh, "He doesn't even know how good he is." 

"You're sad, aren't you Dani?" She asked sympathetically. 

"There's nothing to be sad about, Tee."

"How can you say that?!" She raged and I shot her a small smile. 

"He's going to live out his dream and do what he loves," I said, looking at the shirtless boy that I've grown so fond of, "I can't possibly be sad over that."

"But what about the both of you?" 

"I wouldn't let him make that choice," I said shaking my head, "I never want to be the one who stands in the way of his dream. Besides, I was going to leave anyway."

"That doesn't mean that you're irrelevant," She said quickly. 

"I'm just glad that I got to be a part of his life; and him, mine."

"I always knew you were a softie," She said with a smirk. 

"Me? No!" I replied with a small laugh, "I'm not soft, I'm punk rock." 

"Come on," She said, cocking her head to the open water and holding out her hand for me to take. I linked mine with hers and she pulled me up. 

"Thank you, Christina." I said sincerely and she smiled. 

"For the hand?" She said with a knowing smile. 

"For everything." I replied and pulled her in for a tight hug. She pulled away first, linking our arms together and making our way to the boys who were laughing loudly. 

"Do you think he'll tell you?" She asked as we walked. 

"I think he will when the time is right."

"When do you think that'll be?" 

"He's Ashton," I said simply, "If I know him at all, he'll want his last days here and with me to be a fun filled one."

"So, the day before he leaves then?"

"I think so." I said with a sigh. 

"Are you going to tell him that you know?" She asked. 

"I don't know, Tee." I said shrugging, "I really don't know."

"If you keep behaving like this, he'll probably guess that you already know."

"Behaving like what?" I asked, looking at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Like you're sad." 

"Glad you finally joined us," Ashton said, appearing out of nowhere, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards his wet, shirtless torso. I squealed at the sudden contact. 

"We were wondering when you come," Calum joined, shaking the water out of his hair, making Christina and I cover our faces with our hands and laugh. 

"Guess we just had to give into temptation," Christina said. 

"What were you guys doing anyway?" Michael asked slightly out of breath, running his hand through his wet hair, spiking it up.

"Getting our tan on," I said, putting my hands over Ashton's arms that were still on my waist. 

"Have I mentioned how sexy you look in this bikini?" Ashton whispered into my ear, so that only I could hear. I blushed at the compliment. 

"Maybe later you could show me just how sexy I look," I whispered back, turning my head so that I could see his face. His eyes darkened with lust and he smirked. 

"Why wait?" He said and spun me around in his arms, crashing his lips over mine in a needy kiss. I was about to respond but water was suddenly poured over us which made us jump back in surprise. 

"No PDA!" Christina and Calum shouted and started to laugh at our reactions. Ashton and I looked at each other and nodded in a silent agreement. All of us started to splash water at each other. Suddenly, Christina was picked up in the water and spun around. She screamed in surprise, while all of us laughed our asses off. We all knew that it was Luke, but still, it was pretty funny. We looked like children, but to be honest, in that moment, none of us really cared. 

The knowledge that Ashton was moving with the rest of the boys was buried deep in my mind. I didn't want to think about it right now. Why ruin a good day, right? The fact that I had one less week with him was also buried in my mind. The memories that could've been and the moments that we could've shared, the kisses, the late night talks, the stupid stunts we would've pulled...all of that was buried. Why think about things that could've been? Why think about scenarios that I've already planned? Why think about the what ifs? Why think about him and me?

Why think about how sad I'm going to be without him? Why admit that I have these strong feelings that I've never had before, never felt before? Why should I? 

There's not going to be anyone to admit it to after 6 days anyway...So why bother?

"Dani!" A voice called out, tearing me from my thoughts, "Anyone in there?" 

"Huh? What?" I said, shaking the thoughts away, burying them deep. 

"Where did you go?" Ashton said with a goofy smile. 

"Sorry," I said shooting him a small smile, "Just a lot going on in there right now."

"You okay baby?" He asked, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I smiled up at him. 

"I am now." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered to me and I shook my head. 

"I'm fine, Ash," I said and he looked at me like he was unconvinced, "I really am."

"Promise?" 

"Yeah." I said, standing on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. He smiled and leaned down to fulfill my wish and we joined the rest of the group, hand in hand. 

The sun started to set, colouring the sky an array of pink, purple and orange. On one side there was the sun going down, and on the other, the rise of the moon. One part of the day was gone and another was starting. My 6 days with Ashton was dwindling down to 5, and still, he had no idea that I knew, and he hasn't told me about him leaving. 

All of us trudged out of the water and back to where we kept our stuff. There was hardly any people left on the beach anyway, since it was coming to nightfall. The wind was blowing cold air, making goosebumps rise on my skin. I huddled deep into the beach towel, which unfortunately provided little to no relief. 

"What do you say guys," Calum said, breaking the silence, "One last campfire for the road?" 

The boys cheered while Christina and I stood by and laughed at their antics. I pretended not to notice that Ashton was slightly uncomfortable. His eyes kept darting to gage my reaction to Calum's sentence. He was wondering if I realised that he said 'one last campfire.' I also pretended not to notice that he let out a breath of relief when he saw that I didn't notice. 

"You guys set it up while we go get changed!" Christina said, pulling me along with her to the bathroom. 

"Thanks Tee," I said, falling into step with her, "I'm so tired and lazy that I didn't want to do any work!" 

"Well, that's not the only reason..." She said, trailing off while going into the cubicle beside mine. 

"What? You afraid that you'll be attacked by a giant troll or something," I said with a laugh, pulling the denim shorts up and buttoning it up. 

"Is Reign here?" She said with a sarcastic tone. 

"Tee..." I warned, knowing that she was still bitter about the whole cheating thing with Luke. I don't blame her at all, I would've done much worse in her situation without a doubt. But, Reign was Michael's girlfriend and as much as it sucks, she's in the group now. 

"I know, I know," She said with a sigh and I heard the click of the lock, signaling that she already was [finished changing](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_210/set?id=204829360).

"Okay," I said, [coming out of the cubicle, fully changed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_211/set?id=204829607), and standing next to her to shake the water out of my hair, "Out with it already."

"He hasn't told you yet?" She said curiously, turning around to look at me, rather than my reflection. 

"I don't think he will," I admitted, looking at the mirror and not at her.

"Shit!" She said and bit her lip. 

"What would you do if Luke didn't tell you?" I asked her, this time looking at her. 

"I don't know, Dani," She said with a sigh. 

"Yeah, I thought so." 

"I would probably confront him," She said, unsure. 

"And?" 

"Cry." She laughed.

"Yeah, I'll skip that one," I said, running my fingers through my damp hair. 

"You know, I've never really seen you cry."

"And it's going to stay that way, Tee."

"Do you ever cry?" She asked with wide eyes. 

"Nope!" I said, popping the 'p', "I'm allergic to tears."

"That won't work though. With allergies, your body's natural reaction is to produce tears from the tear duct to-"

"You know what I meant, nerd!" I said, pushing her shoulder. We stood there in silence, relishing this time that we had left together, as if it was me moving away and not the boys. 

"What are you going to do, Dani?" She asked. 

"There's _nothing_  I can do, Tee," I sighed, "And we're both going to have to accept that."

"I'm going to miss them," Christina admitted with tears in her eyes. 

"So am I." 

~~~

"Hey! You guys took forever in there," Luke said as we made our way to them and the already raging fire, "We got worried."

"Do you think that all of this happens by itself?" Christina said with attitude. 

"Yeah!" I seconded, "It takes time to look this good."

"But babe you look gorgeous regardless," Ashton said as I sat down on the beach towel that was already laid down next to him.

"Oh save it, pretty boy!" Michael said, kicking sand on his shoes. 

"I'm going to miss this," Calum sighed. 

"Me too." Christina said, looking at me. I shook my head, telling her silently that I wasn't going to talk about this here, that I wasn't going to ruin the mood.

I snuggled deeper into Ashton who had his arm around my shoulder. He looked down at me and I smiled up at him. He moved his lips on my forehead and place a kiss on it. I closed my eyes and tried to memorise the way his lips felt on my skin, tried to keep the way I felt right there and then, in front of the fire, snuggled with him. I tried to memorise the way his hands felt around me, tried to memorise the way he made me feel - safe. 

The group reminisced about the times they spent together; about the times we spent together. We spent most of the night drinking, laughing and goofing off. All of us forgot the fact that the boys were moving. Christina started off sitting on the opposite end of the towel with Luke, but ended the night in his arms. As hard as she tried, she couldn't not be with him. She loved him. I wondered what that felt like. I tried to imagine a life where my parents weren't divorced. Maybe then I would've believed in love, would've le myself be deluded with the feeling. 

I think this is the first time I have accepted the fact that my parent's are divorced. More than that, I think right here, right now with these friends that I have made and these people around the campfire, I am actually glad my parent's got divorced. Without that divorce, dad wouldn't have moved here and mom wouldn't have let Nathan and I come out to visit him.  

"What're you thinking?" Ashton whispered into my hair, pulling me closer to him with one hand while the other nursed a beer.

"I was just thinking how happy I've become here," I whispered back, looking up at him and smiling, "How happy you make me." 

Ashton smiled at me, but immediately I could tell that there was something that he was keeping from me. He was happy, no doubt, but he wasn't fully happy. There was something that was holding him back and I didn't want to be the reason that he felt guilty for the next few days that he had here. I wanted to be the reason that his eyes crinkled, his dimples showed, his heart fluttered and his skin tingled. I didn't want to ruin what time he had left in this magical place. 

One by one the boys started to leave. It started off with Michael and then Calum and then Luke offered to drive Christina home. It was just Ashton and I and the fire that was starting to die out. 

We were silent, Ashton and I. We were both on the opposite ends of the beach towel, in our own thoughts. There was so much that I wanted to say, but I just couldn't. Ashton didn't know that I knew about Australia and I didn't know if I wanted him to know. A part of me was dying to tell him, wanting nothing more than to rid of him of the burden of telling me himself. Another part of me wanted to play oblivious, naive, ignorant. 

One part outweighed the other. 

"Ash?" I said, breaking the silence and breaking him out of his thoughts that he was so clearly consumed in.

"Hmm?" He grunted, half paying attention.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on the record deal."

"What?" He said, his head snapped towards me. 

"The record deal that you got with the company in Australia," I said with a small smile, "I just wanted to congratulate you on it."

"Dani..." He said, trying to find the words. 

"Don't." I said, shaking my head, the smile still on my face to show him that I'm not mad, "I'm really, really happy for you."

"I was trying to-" Ashton started to say but I stopped him. 

"There really is no need for that, Ash," I said, "I'm not mad at you or anything."

"What?" He asked, confused

"Oh come on, Ashton," I said, looking at the fire rather than him, "We both knew what this was and how it was going to end. It was fun while it lasted and-"

"Don't do that, Dani," He said, gritting his teeth. 

"Don't do what? Tell you the truth?"

"Don't make it seem like what we have is nothing but a fling."

"But it is!" I countered, "You and I both knew what we were getting ourselves into and how it was going to end!" 

" _This_ ," He said pointing between us, "Is so much more than a fling and you know it!" 

"You're deluding yourself," I scoffed. 

"Why are you doing this, Dani?" He asked, hurt evident in your eyes. 

"I'm not doing _anything_ ," I defended. 

"You are!" He said, raising his voice, "Why are you pushing me away?"

"Were you ever going to tell me about Australia?!" I screamed, tears threatening to fall. 

"I thought you weren't mad about that," He said, voice barely above a whisper. 

"I'm not mad." 

"Then what are you?"

"Hurt." 

"I was trying to protect you," He said. 

"That's bullshit, Ashton." I scoffed.

"I didn't know how to tell you." He admitted, softly.

"Just telling me the truth would've been enough, Ash," I sighed and pulled my knees close to my body, resting my chin on them. 

"I'm sorry, Dani," He said. 

"I really am happy for you, Ashton," I said, turning my head to look him. A small smile appeared on his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to-"

"No, no," He reassured, "Don't apologise. You're entitled to your feelings and I've told you before to never ever apologise for them."

I moved my hand to cup his cheek and he leaned into my touch, "I'm really proud of you, Ash. If anyone deserves this, it's you guys. You work so hard and passionately."

"What are we going to do about us?" He asked after a beat of silence. 

"We aren't going to think about it," I said with a smile, "That's what we're going to do."

"But-" He started to say but I stopped him by crushing my lips on his. 

"We're going to enjoy the time we have together and not ruin it," I said, pulling away from him and leaning my forehead on his. 

"If you shut me up like this again, I might not ever shut up." Ashton said cheekily, which made me smile. 

I leaned down and moulded my lips over his again, wanting nothing more than to press pause and relish this moment forever.


	32. Chapter 32

I had changed. 

On one hand there's the good change, the one that I really didn't mind. I had become a happier person in general. Before I came here I was this bitter, worried, scared and broken girl. Now...Well, now I'm a happier, carefree and patched up girl. I had a better social life, better friends, better family life and a better outlook to things. My father and I were in a good place, my friends actually want to help me grow and become a better person, my mother and I actually talk, Bryan and I are friends, Nathan and I haven't really changed but I guess now I actually let myself be more of a sister and less of a parent. 

Then there was the other part of the change - the one that I am so annoyed about. I had become _that_  person. I was that annoying person in a relationship, the one that can't go two seconds without either thinking about their boyfriend, or talking to their boyfriend, or even talking about their boyfriend. Worst of all, I didn't realise that I had become this person until today morning. 

Since Ashton was leaving, we decided that he and I would spend some time with our own family and then at night, the whole group would have a sleepover at Christina's house since her parents weren't home. I was hanging out at home when I made the sudden realisation that I had become one of _them._

"Hey sis," Nathan said, plopping himself on the couch [beside me](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=206144260).

"Hey buddy!" I said, holding my phone in one hand and side hugging him, "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" 

"It's only been a couple of days, Dani," Nathan said while rolling his eyes, "Stop being so dramatic!" 

"Still!" I said, texting while talking. 

"Who're you texting?" 

"Ashton," I answered, finishing up my text and looking at Nathan. 

"Didn't you just see him yesterday?" Nathan asked. 

"Yeah, but that was yesterday." 

"Aren't you seeing him later?" Nathan asked with a little smirk. 

"Yeah but-"

"You're so clingy."

"I am not clingy!" I scoffed. 

"Fine then," Nathan said, settling into the couch and turning on the television. 

"I am not a clingy girlfriend!" 

"If you say so," He said, smirking. 

"Nathan! I am not a clingy girlfriend!" 

"Then don't text him till tonight," Nathan challenged. 

Needless to say I failed. As much as I hate being _that_  person, I don't hate the feeling of giddiness everytime my phone buzzes. I don't hate the fact that it's not just anyone that's texting me - it's Ashton. I don't hate the fact that he makes me smile and feel all fuzzy. 

I do hate the fact that this will all end soon. 

~~~

5 days dwindled down to 4. [Christina](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_217/set?id=205713548) and I were in her room on our phones, while the boys were downstairs playing PS4 that they hooked up to her flat screen television.

"So you and Ashton haven't had sex yet," Christina said out of the blue, making me drop my phone on my face. 

"What?!" [I hissed out](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_216/set?id=205713341) in pain, holding my cheek where my phone fell. 

"You two," She said, "You guys haven't done it yet." 

"How the hell would you come to a conclusion like that?" 

"It's 2 in the morning and you're in a house that has a million unoccupied rooms where none of you would be bothered and you're not jumping each other," Christina said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"So what if we're alone in a house?" I said, trying to brush it off. 

"He's leaving in like 4 days and you're not all over each other!" She said, "You definitely haven't had sex yet."

"Is this what you and Luke would be doing if you were together?" 

"Oh yeah, definitely!" Christina said immediately, nodding her head, "We used to do it literally all the time."

"All the time?" I scoffed with a cocked eyebrow. 

"Why do you think we were always late," She said with a smirk. 

"Oh my god, Tee!" I said, sudden realisation dawning on me, "The ball?"

"Obviously we had sex then!" She said, "Three times actually: twice before and once after."

"The lunch?"

"Twice," She smirked as if the memory was playing in her head, "Once in the bathroom."

"What are you guys? Rabbits?!" I said, laughing, "Jesus! Keep it in your pants."

"Which is exactly why it's so surprising that you and Ashton haven't even come close to doing it!" 

"We have!" I tried to convince her, "But everytime we try, the universe cockblocks us!" 

"Name me one time," Christina challenged. 

"Well, we were in our spot-"

"Awww you guys have a spot? That's adorable!" She cooed.

"We were in our spot," I repeated, ignoring her, "And we were making out but you called us and I had to go." 

"So one time then?" 

"Many times!"

"Well you have no interruptions now," She said with a smirk, as if I didn't want to do it with Ashton.

"True." I said softly. 

"Dani, are you a virgin?" 

"What? No!" 

"You can tell me if you are," She said, coming closer to me. 

"I am not a virgin, Tee," I said. 

"Do you want to have sex with Ashton?" She asked, "I don't want to pressure you or anything."

"It's not that, Tee..." I said, trailing off and putting a pillow over my face.

"Then what's the problem?" 

"I mm hshd dhjahs," I said muffling my voice with the pillow. 

"You what what?" Christina asked and I could feel her coming closer to me to hear. 

"I mm hshd dhjahs!" I repeated. 

"What are you even saying?" 

"I don't know how to ask him!" I screamed, pulling the pillow off my face. 

"You don't know how to ask a _guy_  for sex?" Christina said trying to stifle a giggle. 

"Don't laugh!" 

"I'm not, I'm not," She said while laughing. 

"Tee!" 

"I'm sorry Dani, but it's just..." She said, laughing harder. 

"I knew I shouldn't have told you!" I said, pushing her shoulder.

"Dani if you want to have sex with him just tell him that you do and he'll gladly oblige." 

"But how?!" I groaned

"You could literally say, you, me, sex, now and he'll run!" 

"That's not romantic at all," I mumbled.

"Just go downstairs and act casual, then sit next to him and whisper that you want him and you'll be waiting for him upstairs. Then all you have to do is pop that booty all the way upstairs and into an _empty_ room." She said like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

"I can't do this by myself! The other boys are downstairs!" I protested, "What if they hear me?" 

"That makes it even hotter, doesn't it?" 

"Oh my god! Have you done this with Luke when we were there?!" I asked, gobsmacked. 

"At the Fish Shack," She admitted with a tinge of a blush. 

"You sicko! I thought you had some emergency or something!" 

"I did!" She said before whispering, "I was horny and I needed Luke badly." 

"I definitely cannot do this!" I said, putting my hands up. 

"Come on, Dani," Christina encouraged, dragging me off the bed and onto my feet, "I'll be watching for good luck! Now go!" 

I groaned but opened the door and trotted down the stairs anyway. 

"Hey boys," I said, walking towards them while subtly giving Christina, who was giving me a thumbs up as support, the middle fingers. The boys didn't look away from the screen as they greeted me back. "Hey Ash," I said, plopping myself next to him. 

"Hey baby," He said, captivated by the game that they were playing together. I looked at Christina who was urging me to say something to him, but I didn't know what so I just shrugged. 

"Uhh, what're you playing?" I asked and could hear Christina facepalming. 

"Battlefront." Luke answered abruptly and I nodded. 

"Okay then," I said in a defeated whisper. 

"You okay babe?" Ashton asked, looking at me for a second before quickly looking back at the screen. 

"Peachy!" I said through gritted teeth and got off the couch and ran up the stairs to Christina. 

"That went well," Christina said and I groaned in frustration before walking into the room and plopping face first into the bed. 

"Clearly." 

"Try again!" She urged. 

"Tee, I'm not sexy like you! I can't just go to him and tell him that I want him and I want him now!" I whined. 

"You are sexy! You just have to believe you are." 

"Ugh! How can I go back down there?" I said, burying my face in the pillow. 

"Ask him if he wants to go to Las Vegas!" Christina said like a lightbulb went off in her head. 

"Does Vegas give him a boner or something? What kind of kink...." I mumbled. 

"It's a pick up line! Just trust me!" She said and I tried my hardest to stifle a giggle. 

"Fine, fine! Pick up line away." 

"Ask him if he's ever been to Vegas and obviously he will say yes, 'cause who doesn't want to go to Vegas. Then tell him that just like Vegas, he can get lucky if he goes upstairs with you. Then you get off the couch and shake your ass all the way upstairs." 

"And if that doesn't work?" I asked. 

"It always works," Christina said with a smirk. I sighed and walked downstairs. 

~~~ 

"Calum! Cover me!" Michael said as he ran into the battlefield in an attempt to distract the other players. 

"Luke, you and I can capture the flag!" I screamed suddenly realising Michael's plan. We were in the middle of playing when I suddenly felt a someone sit next to me, but I didn't give it a second thought. 

"Hey Ash," A voice that I had come to love suddenly said and I smiled at the television. 

"Hello again babe." 

"Uhh, Ash?" She said and I smiled. 

"Yeah Dani?" 

"Have you ever wanted to go to Las Vegas?" She asked and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"Nah, not really," I said and looked at her for a second. She looked panicked and I couldn't understand why, "I'm not really the gambling type." 

"Oh." She said and got off the couch, seemingly disappointed. 

That was weird. 

I focused my attention back on the television getting ready to capture the flag that was meters away from where my player in the game was standing. Luke suddenly gasped and paused the game. 

"Dude! What the fuck man?!" Michael shouted and hit Luke on the shoulder. 

"We're going to lose now asshole!" Calum said. 

"Ashton, you're an idiot!" Luke screamed at me. 

"Mate, I"m not the one who cost us the game!" I shouted while throwing a pillow at his face. 

"Ashton!" Luke said. 

"Dude, what's your problem?" I asked. 

"My problem is you not realising what your girlfriend wants!" 

"What are you on about?" 

"The Vegas line!" Luke said, "That was Christina's favourite pick up line." Luke said with a smirk. 

"Pick up line as in...sex pick up line?" Michael asked him while my jaw rests literally on the floor. 

"Yeah." Luke said with a cocky smile, "I would pretend to be the man gambling who was unlucky and she would be Lady Luck. You know so I could get lucky. So what she would be is put-" 

"So, you're saying that Dani wants me to-"

"Yeah!" Luke said, throwing the pillow back at my face, "And you're missing your chance, idiot!" 

"Oh!" I screamed, throwing the remote on the floor and ignoring Calum's curses while I bounded up the stairs and into Christina's room. 

~~~ 

"He said that he's not a gambling person!" I groaned and flopped on the bed, face first. 

"He didn't fall for it?" Christina asked, shocked and I groaned louder, "Damn, maybe he just can't get it up." 

"Do you really think so?!" I lifted my head to say and then stuffed it back in the pillow. "Hutsh sjhdj bi." 

"What?" Christina asked and came closer. 

"Maybe it's just me!" I screamed, turning around and putting my face in my hands, "Oh my god he's not attracted to me!" 

"If you really think that then you're an idiot," A voice said from the door which made me gasp and sit upright.

"Ashton..." 

"That's my cue to leave," Christina said and got to the foor before turning around and saying, "Please don't have sex in my bed. I sleep here."

"No promises," Ashton said and closed the door behind him. 

"Ash, it's not what you think," I breathed, my chest suddenly feeling heavier. 

"You want to have sex but don't know how to ask for it which is why you've been acting weird all night," He said, walking towards me. 

"Okay, so maybe it is what you think," I mumble and put a pillow on my face in embarrassment. 

"Why didn't you just ask me?" He asked, sitting next to me on the bed and pulling the pillow off my face. 

"How was I supposed to just walk up to you and tell you that I wanted you?" I said, covering my face with my hands. 

"Like this," He says and pulls my hands away from my face and lays me down flat on thebed before climbing on top of me and holding his weight up, "I want you babe. I want you right here, right now." 

I wrap my arms around his neck, fingers tugging at the end of his hair, just the way he likes it before bringing his lips down to mine in a heated and passionate kiss. It was wet and needy and full of lust. I rolled us around so that I was on top, sitting on Ashton's stomach and leaning down to kiss him. His tongue licked my bottom lip and I granted him access. I felt his tongue glide over mine and it felt like no other kiss that I've ever had in my life. 

He flipped us over again so that he could start peppering kisses all over me, starting with my cheek before pecking my lips and moving downward to my neck. He sucked and nibbled my neck until I moaned. I felt him smirk knowing that he had reached my sweet spot. He pulled away and looked at me for consent, his hand tugging on my sleep shirt. I nodded and he smiled, pulling the shirt off me and marvelling at the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra. He smirked and winked at me.

He reconnected our lips and started peppering kisses from my lips to my neck, leaving broken love bites, marking me as his and only his. He made his way to my right boob, squeezing the other one while he licked and sucked on my boob. I moaned and pulled on his shirt. He moved away and I took his shirt off him, flipping us over so that I was in control again. He smirked at my sudden dominance and ran his fingers through my hair while I sucked on his neck, marking him as mine, while I dragged my nails down his chest, hearing him gasp softly when I reached his nipples. I traced my kisss down his chest and smirked against his skin when I felt his bulge grow. 

I peppered my kisses down his chest to his stomach and smiled up at him when I felt Ashton gasp before capturing my wrists in his hands. 

"We can still stop if you want to," He said and I shook my head. 

"I want you Ashton, right here, right now," I said looking him in the eyes and connecting our lips together while I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down. He kicked them off his legs. He moaned throatily when I grabbed his erection in my hand, spreading the precum all over his cock, smiling up at him when I pulled his boxers down. I leaned down swirling my tongue around the tip of his cock.

"Baby, don't tease," He groaned, tightening the hold he had on my hair. I obliged and took him in my mouth, still swirling his tip on my tongue while bobbing my head up and down his rock hard cock.

After about a minute, he pulled me off him, connecting our lips in a hot and needy kiss, flipping us over so that he was on top of me.

"My turn," He said with a grin which made me giggle. He kissed down my chest, to my stomach before tearing my shorts off me and drinking the naked sight of me in as if embedding it in his brain. "You're beautiful." He sat there, not doing anything and just looking at me laid out; naked. I squirmed in anticipation. 

"Ashton, please," I whispered, full of need. His eyes darkened with lust and he smiled as if he had a plan in mind for me. He climbed back on top of me and starting peppering kisses from one hip to the other, slowly making his way down, lower and lower until he reaches my wet pussy. I whimper and moan with need, my back arching as my fingers tighten in Ashton's hair, pushing him closer to my throbbing need. His tongue slid into me while his thumb rubbed my clit. I practically screamed as I rocked my hips, grinding onto his tongue. He hummed in pleasure and the vibrations from that spread through me which made me moan even louder. I felt a knot building in my stomach and I pulled Ashton away from me, pulling him up to kiss him, tasting myself on his tongue. "I need you now, Ash." 

He reached his hand over to the drawer and pulled out some condoms. I mentally made a note to thank Christina as he tore the condom open with his teeth and rolled it on himself. Ashton looked at me and I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing his lips to mine as he slowly pushed himself in me, giving me time to adjust to him. I nodded and he moved in and out of me. I was a moaning mess underneath him, with my nails raking down his back and constant moans of 'faster' or 'harder'. Ashton obliged every request, occassionally changing our positions by putting my leg on his shoulder or spanking my ass hard, causing me to moan louder. We created a symphony of groans, shouts and moans loud enough to wake the neighbours up, but we didn't care. We were more intertwined than anything, more connected than anyone. 

I felt the familiar knot growing in my stomach faster and more intense than anything I have ever experienced. 

"Ash," I panted, "I'm gonna..." 

"Cum for me babe," He whispered, connecting our lips to silence my moans as he faltered in his thrusts, each one slower than the other but harder than the previous. I let out an almost pornographic moan as I unravelled beneath him. Ashton was thrusting harder, riding out my high while he was trying to get to his. A couple more thrusts and I heard Ashton grunt and I felt him orgasm inside me. He panted against my neck as he rode out his high with me. 

He pulled out of me and I hissed at the loss of contact. He pulled off the condom and tied it before throwing it in the dustbin and getting back in the bed.

I rest my head on his chest while his arm was around my waist.

"Christina is going to be so pissed," I said with a laugh, randomly tracing patterns on his chest.

"Should I be worried that Christina is the first thing that pops in your head after I just had amazing, mindblowing sex with you?" He playfully jokes.

"Who said it only happened after?" I teased back, giggling at his reaction.

"Why would she be pissed at us?" He asked, rubbing slow circles on my waist.

"We said that we wouldn't have sex in her bed," I said and looked up at him with a grin.

"I regret nothing!" He said and we giggled together, basking in the afterglow of our beautiful, sweaty symphony.    

We stayed silent - Ashton rubbing circles on my waist while I rested on his chest, blanket pulled up over us. 

"What are we going to do about us?" Ashton asked, breaking the silence. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Us," He repeated, "When I leave...What are we going to do about us?" 

"Don't ruin this, Ash," I say, voice barely above a whisper. 

"I'm not ruining anything, Danielle," He retorts, "I want to know where this is going." 

"We just had mindblowing, amazing, breathtaking sex Ashton," I say, looking up at him, "Don't ruin this feeling." 

"I can't take not knowing, Dani," He said, moving his hand that was on my waist to run through my hair. 

"Isn't that the best part, Ashton?" I tell him, "For the next however long you have here you know that it's just going to be you and me, me and you against the world!" 

"So for the next 4 days it's you and me and then after that, it's nothing?" 

"Not nothing," I tell him. 

"Then what is it, Dani ?!" 

"It's you and the boys and your music and your fans and everything you've ever dreamt of!" 

"Not everything," He mumbled. 

"What did I miss out?" I ask, going over the words in my head again. 

"You." 

"Ash..." 

"No, Danielle!" He says and sits upright, holding me by my shoulders so I can look at him. "I can't hold this back anymore!" 

"Ashton..." I breathed, my chest suddenly feeling heavy, as if something was about to change. 

"I've fallen for you Danielle Walker," He breathes, "I've fallen so deep for you. For your giggle when you find something stupidly funny, your anger when you're annoyed at someone. I've fallen for how your eyebrows furrow in confusion and how adorable you are when you sneeze or how you appreciate the little things like a smoothie or a milkshake and how you look at the sky like it's the last time you're ever going to see it. I've fallen so deep for how you need to have music in every aspect in your life and how you use emoji's like it's going to disappear and how you always check up on me even though you know that I'm doing alright." 

"Ashton..." I say, breathless with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

"I've fallen in love with you Danielle Walker." 


	33. Chapter 33

Ashton's was snoring softly, his hand firmly placed on my waist in a tight grip while my back was on his chest. His soft brown hair flopped on his forehead and his head was almost in the crook of my neck. My hand was stroking his arm gently while my thoughts were running wild. The only words in my mind were: 

_"I've fallen in love with you, Danielle Walker."_

I couldn't think about anything else. How could he say those words to me? Damn it Ashton! You know how I feel about the subject of love. We were having so much fun as well.... What am I supposed to do now? What can I do? 

First things first, I need to get out of here. 

I slowly tried removing Ashton's arm from my waist and got out of bed, trying my hardest not to wake him up. The second my foot hit the ground, I felt unnaturally cold. I looked down and realised that I was still naked from...well... So, I grabbed the first shirt I saw, which happened to be Ashton's grey one, and my shorts that were on the foot of the bed and [threw them on me](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=207372602). I tiptoed across the room and stopped in my tracks when I heard Ashton grunt and stir. I turned around and saw that he was just tossing on the bed and as quick and quiet as I could muster, I opened the door and bolted down the stairs. 

I couldn't leave the house so early in the morning and I wasn't sure that I even wanted to but I was sure of one thing - I needed to get away from everything right now. Although I didn't know how to do that since it was too damn early and the sun was hours away from even rising, every single fiber in my body was screaming at me to run; Run fast and run far. All I could do right now was to raid the freezer and get some damn ice cream.

So I did. 

I had the ice cream out and I grabbed a spoon from the drawer in the kitchen and dug deep into the creamy vanilla. I just needed to be by myself for now and try to figure out how to handle this whole ordeal.

"Shouldn't you be having your fifth orgasm right now?" A voice said from the kitchen arch, "Well, I guess a foodgasm counts as well..." 

"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing awake anyway, Christina?" 

"Just needed to think..." She sighed, walking to the counter, grabbing a spoon and jumping on the counter to share the ice cream with me, "What about you? I thought you would be too sore or tired. Unless of course you didn't..."

"Oh we did!" I said with a little smirk.

"Really! On my bed?!" She whined and I nodded, still smirking, "You're changing and washing the sheets tomorrow! Why are you up?"

"Just needed to think as well," I said, spooning another scoop of ice cream into my mouth. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I could ask you the same thing..." 

"It's just things with Luke and I," Christina sighed, dolloping another spoon of ice cream in her mouth. 

"What happened?" I asked, looking at her while leaning my elbows on the counter so that I could get closer to the ice cream. 

"If I tell you, do you promise to tell me what's bothering you?" She asked, pointing the spoon at me as if it were a weapon. 

"Pinky promise."

"Well, after I left you and Ashton in my room, I realised that I also left my phone and laptop there and I couldn't go back for them because of obvious reasons. So, I went downstairs to hang with the boys. When I got there, I saw that they were making jokes about pick up lines that they've used or were used on them. We were all chilling and it was really fun until Michael got a call from Reign and left Calum, Luke and I on the couch..." Christina said. 

~~~ 

"I uhh, I have a thing so I'm just going to go," Calum said, getting off the couch and walking up the stairs, leaving Luke and I all alone in the living room.

We were quiet, Luke and I, the only thing filling the room was awkwardness. It's not as if we were fighting or even mad at each other, but this is really the only time that we were left alone since the breakup. It's just not the same between us and it honestly sucks. 

"So the Vegas pick up line," Luke said, breaking the silence and making my head snap to him, "That was your idea?" 

"Picked up on that, did you," I said with a little laugh, hoping that it would kind of ease the tension. It didn't. 

"I did, yeah." 

"I was hoping you would," I said with a smile. 

"Yeah? Why?" Luke asked, turning his body to face me. 

"Well, Dani already tried and failed once and seeing as how Ashton is an idiot, I was hoping that if he didn't pick up on it, that maybe you would." I explained. 

"That's actually kind of brilliant, Tee!" Luke complimented with a laugh. 

"I am brilliant!" I said laughing along with him, "You should know!" 

"I do." He said, looking at me with fondness in his eyes. 

"Stop it," I said in a voice barely above a whisper. 

"Stop what?" 

"Looking at me like that." 

"Like what?" He asked, still not looking away. 

"Like you still love me, Luke." 

"I can't stop," He said, his voice soft and low. 

"You have to." I said, not looking at him. 

"Why do I have to stop, Christina?" He said, "I still love you and I know that you still love me too!" 

"I can't do this!" I exclaimed, getting off the couch, but Luke's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. "Let me go, Luke." 

"I can't," He said, sounding broken. My heart broke for a second but I kept it together. I have shed enough tears over him. Even though my heart soars every time I see him and my skin burns when he touches me, I just can't do this anymore. 

"Please Luke, let me go," I pleaded in a small voice. 

"I love you, Christina Milton and I damn well know that you love me too." 

"What do you want me to do, huh Luke?!" I screamed, snatching my wrist away from his grip, "Every time I see you all I want to do is kiss you and hug you but all I can see in my mind is your lips on hers and her hands all over you!" 

"Tee, you know that I-"

"I know Luke and it sucks because I want you but I can't stop imagining you two all over each other! It hurts to even look at you right now..." 

"What about what you said at the wedding?" Luke asked, his voice cracking in the midde, "What about trying?"

"What do you think this is then if it's not trying?" I asked, hands crossed over my chest, "I'm here with you right now aren't I?" 

"Tee please, I need you..." 

"I can't, Luke..." I said, tears stinging my eyes.

"I love you." He said and I nodded. 

"I know." 

~~~

"Wow!" I said, staring at Christina who had tears in her eyes.

"Yup!" She said, spooning another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. 

"Do you love him?" I asked. 

"With every fiber of my being." She replied. 

"He's leaving, Tee," I reminded her. 

"I know," Christina said in a small voice. 

"Would you be with him even when he's on the opposite end of the world?" 

"Even if he was on Pluto," She answered. 

"Then what's the problem?" 

"Every single time I see him, all I can see in Reign, Dani!" Christina exclaimed, "And I'm not sure that I can let that go."

"If Ross and Rachel could get over their problems in the end, that so can you and Luke!" I joked, trying to lighten to mood.

"Yeah but look how long it took them to finally be together again!" She said with a scoff. 

"It all boils down to whether or not you want to be with him," I said, looking at her with sympathy in my eyes. I could only imagine how hard it must be for her, having to see this person she loves every single day and not be able to be with them. What's even worse is that she sees Luke, this boy that she's crazy over but she doesn't him, she sees what he did and the mistakes that he made. She sees Reign, this girl who's already done this to her before. 

"It's not that easy, Dani," Christina sighed, looking down, hair falling over her eyes. 

"Yes or no, Tee," I said, "Do you want to be with Luke or not?" 

"I don't not want to be with him." 

"So you want to be with him?" I asked, trying to get her to affirm her answer. Trying to get her to say it out loud, so that she can clear her head and hear herself. 

"Dani..." She said, trailing off. 

"Do you love him, Christina?" 

"I do."

"Then go to him, Tee," I urged, "Tell him that! He loves you and you love him! You only have 4 days left with him! Make the most of it!" 

"You're right! I do love him!" She said, eyes going wide as if she just had an epiphany, taking the spoon out of her mouth and dropping in the sink

"I have my moments," I said with a smirk as she was walking out

Christina stopped at the doorway and looked back, "Hey, I thought you don't believe in love."

"I don't," I said with a shrug. 

"Then why were you giving me a love pep talk?" She asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"Because you believe in love."

"You're the best you know!" Christina said with a smile. 

"I know," I said, flipping my hair dramatically, "Now go! Get your man!"

Just as Christina nodded and took a step, Michael stepped in front of her, teary eyed. 

"Mikey!" She said in surprise, "What's wrong?"

"Sh-she broke up with me," He managed to get out, lower lip wobbling. I leaned over the counter and grabbed two spoons, holding it out to Christina and Michael who walked over to the counter. 

"What happened, Mike?" I asked, pushing the carton of ice cream closer to both of them. 

"I-I don't know," He said, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. 

"Did you two get in a fight?" Christina asked. 

"No." He answered curtly, playing with the ice cream in the carton. 

"Talk to us, Mikey," I said in a soft voice, assuring him that he could trust us. 

"How can I talk to you when I don't even know what's happening myself?!" He said, his voice almost sounding as if he were panicking, "One second we were happy and chilling with her parents and the next we're breaking up?! I don-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Christina said, interrupting him, "What do you mean chilling with her parents? I thought her parent's kicked her out on the street?" 

"They did but I found them last week and explained the whole her breaking up with Liam and dating my situation and basically grovelled and convinced them to meet with her. Today, I just took her there and they talked and made up," Michael said as if it were no big deal. 

"Then what happened? Did you two fight?" I asked while Christina was trying to digest what Michael just told us. 

"That's the thing! We didn't fight at all!" Michael said, exasperated, "I left there really happy and we were texting and then she called me and broke up with me!" 

"What were you texting about?" I asked. 

"Me moving," Michael answered. 

"That's your answer!" I told him.

"What? No!" He said while shaking his head, "She's fine with that! We even talked about it. I told her that I wouldn't go if she didn't want me to and-" 

"No girlfriend wants to be the one who gets in the middle of their boyfriends' dreams!" Christina said, spooning ice cream into her mouth.

"But I even told her that she could come visit and stay with us!" He said in a little whine, not knowing what he did wrong. 

"She just got her parents back, Mike," I explained in a soft voice, "She doesn't want to leave them so soon." 

"So why did she break up with me?" He asked in a broken and exhausted voice. 

"I think it's because she's confused!" Christina offered, "She knows that she wants you to go but at the same time, she doesn't want you to leave. She wants you to live out your dream and she doesn't want to stand in the way of that." 

"I think so too!" I offered, "But I also think that it's because you'll be so far away from her in this new place with new experiences and she doesn't want to hold you back. She's scared." 

"I want her to be a part of this!" He said in a firm voice, "I love her." 

"That seems to be the theme of the night," I mumbled, taking a big spoon of ice cream and shoving it in my face. 

"What?" Christina said and I shook my head. 

"Give her some time, Mikey," I said and he nodded. 

"I'm going to go sleep," He said and thanked us before walking upstairs. 

"Do you think I'm rushing into the whole Luke thing?" Christina blurted out as I was putting the carton of ice cream back into the freezer. 

"I think that it's your call," I said calmly, putting the spoons in the sink. 

"I don't know what to do," She admitted. 

"Then sleep on it." 

"You're right," She said and I nodded, "Thanks Dani! You're the best!" 

"Night, Tee!" I wished, hugged her and went to the room. I opened the door slowly, tiptoeing into the room before closing the door. I heard Ashton stir and I stopped in my tracks, using my phone's torch to light the way through the dark room. 

"Babe," He called out, but I stayed silent. "Dani?" 

"Yeah, Ash?" I whispered, walking to the bed and lying down beside him, turning off my phone and placing it on the bedside table. 

"Where did you go, baby?" He asked, putting his hand around my waist and pulling my against his chest, nuzzling my neck. 

"Just to the toilet." I lied, facing away from him and trying to sleep, "G'night." 

"Love you." He said and kissed my hair, before snuggling deeper into me. 

I was mortified. What was with this whole 'love' thing suddenly? How was I supposed to tell him that I didn't love him? That I don't even know what his definition of love is? Mine is simple - a release of chemicals from the brain making the person think that they're experiencing love, when really it's not! 

I don't want to hurt him. I care about him too much for that.


	34. Chapter 34

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence," Calum said with a cheeky smile, taking another bite of his toast. 

"Good morning princess," Luke said with a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

"More like good moaning, am i right," Calum said, guffawing at his own joke. Ashton looked at him with a raised eyebrow before thumping him on the head. 

"Mornin' baby," He said as I sat down beside him. I shot him a half hearted smile. 

"I'm surprised you even managed to get up this morning," Christina said, handing me a bowl while I reached over the table for the cereal and milk. 

"Why is that?" I asked absent-mindedly.

"You were up pretty late," Michael said, taking another bite of his cereal. 

"Yeah, Dani." Christina said with a nod, "You were already up when I came down _and_  you went up after Michael and I did." 

"What time did you go up anyway?" Michael asked. 

I stopped mid-bite, already feeling everyone's eyes burning a hole in me. I didn't want to look up. I was already anticipating Ashton's eyes filling with hurt, realising that I lied to him. 

"Guys, come on!" I said, trying to make my voice sound light, "I'm barely even awake." 

"Guess Ashton didn't do that good of a job if you were awake after," Calum joked which earned a half-hearted laugh from me that blended in with the rest of the groups laughter.

~~~ 

"So you lied to me," Ashton said walking into the room that was beside Christina's. 

"Ash..." I said, too tired to fight. 

"No, Dani!" He stopped, "Why did you lie to me?" 

"Not now, Ash," I tried, sighing. I was tired and confused and all I wanted to do was be alone for a bit to sort out my thoughts. The lack of sleep wasn't really aiding the situation either.

"It's a simple question, Danielle! Why did you lie to me?!" 

"Well what did you expect, Ashton?!" I screamed, slamming my hand down and jumping up, "You already know how I feel about love and yet you go and say those three stupid words! What did you expect me to do, Ashton?! What do you think? That this is some stupid, cliché Nicholas Sparks book? That this is some idiotic, predictable rom-com movie?! What did you expect to me to say, Ashton?" 

"I just-" He started to say but I cut him off. 

"You expected me to say that I loved you back? That I can't live without you? For you not to go to Australia without me?" I scoffed, "Is that what you expected, Ashton? Some undying confession of love?" 

"I just needed to tell you how I felt, Danielle." He said with a little shrug of his shoulders, eyes filled with hurt and face sullen. His eyes, the one feature that I couldn't get enough of were dull. I have never seen his eyes so dull and just looking at that felt like a punch to my stomach, knocking out all the air from me. 

"This whole love thing isn't within my capabilities, Ashton," I said, sighing, "But running from it, that's definitely what I do." 

"Don't." He said, voice cracking, "Please." 

"I can't Ashton," I said, voice shaky, "You already knew how this would end." 

"I'm not going to take back what I said," He warned, "I love you." 

"You don't know that." I said, shaking my head. 

"It's not like I thought about it and weighed the pros and cons, Danielle," He said, "I just fell in love." 

"Ashton.." I sighed, walking to the door, "I can't do this."

"Dani, stop!" He said, grabbing my wrist, voice small as he plead, "Stay." 

"And do what Ashton?" I asked, looking at his pain filled eyes and deep frown, "I can't; especially knowing that I can't reciprocate what you feel." 

"Try." He pleaded. 

"It's not going to work, Ashton." 

"How do you know?" He said, voice filled with agony, "You won't know till you try." 

"I can already tell how this will pan out, Ash," I said, "We're going to be happy and try this for a while. You'll be on the other end of the world and I'll be in Julliard. It's going to be amazing in the beginning; we'll be talking everyday and gushing about our long distance relationship to anyone who'll listen. Then my classes will start and your recording and promo will start and we'll start talking less and less. Then time zones will start to kick in and when I say good morning, you'll be saying good night. We'll schedule Skypes' or Facetime's and eventually one of us will start missing them. We'll start fighting more and talking less and then the jealousy will kick in and eventually...We'll stop talking all together." 

"It's not going to-" 

"Every single person says that about their relationship, Ash," I said, wriggling my wrist away from his vice grip, "That theirs will be different. That theirs will overcome anything. It's all lies." 

"Dani, I-"

"I know." I said, voice breaking, "But I can't, Ashton. I really can't." 

I opened the door of the room and started walking out when Ashton said in a voice that shattered my heart, "I love you, Danielle and nothing you say will ever change that." 

~~~ 

"Hey honey, I thought you weren't coming back till tomorr-" 

"Dad!" I said with tears in my eyes and a crack in my voice. 

"Danielle what's wrong?" He said, engulfing me in a tight hug. 

And for the first time in years, tears left my eyes. It was like a dam breaking. Every single thing that I kept inside came out all at once. The divorce, the fights, the bad memories...Ashton. 

"Is it Ashton, Dani?" My dad asked, still holding me tight, stroking my back while sobs wracked through me, tears overflowing non-stop, "Did he hurt you?"

"I-I ca-can't," I managed to stammer as sobs wracked my body, shaking me to my vore core. My father walked us over to the couch as he held me tight.

"It's okay, it's okay," He chanted over and over again, hugging me close to him, "Let it all out, sweetie." 

It felt like hours had passed by as I sobbed and tried to catch my breath while my dad just hugged me, keeping me close to him, telling me that it would be okay over and over again as though that mantra itself would automatically fix my problems. He stroked my hair and my back, trying to calm me down. He sat there helplessly, looking at his oldest child, the one that had to be so strong for so long just break down in his arms. 

"What happened, Danielle?" He asked after I had calmed down. 

"Nothing, dad." I answered, throat dry and scratchy. 

"Danielle." Dad said almost in a warning tone, getting up and getting a bottle of water from the kitchen, You come home crying and you expect me to believe that nothing happened?!" 

"I can't right now, dad," I said, chugging the water down, "I just need my dad to hold me and be there for me...Please...I promise I'll explain everything later." 

"I'm always here for you, darling." He said in a soft voice. I shot him a small smile and leaned my head against his chest, closing my eyes and relishing this feeling. 

~~~ 

I was awoken by hushed whispers. I could barely open my eyes. They felt stuck together and my throat was scratchy and raw. I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes. How did I get in my room? I saw how red rimmed my eyes looked and how there were bags under my eyes. My clothes were still a little wet, so I musn't have dozed off for that long. I quickly grabbed some shorts and a shirt [and changed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_229/set?id=209105905). I tied my hair up in a bun and grabbed my phone from the bedside table along with my glasses. Contacts were not going to aid the eye situation. 

"She came home crying!" I heard my dad say in a harsh whisper, "There is no way I am letting her out of my sight right now." 

"I get that, sir but-"

"I am not going to allow anyone who was in that house with her near her. Obviously something happened and until she tells me what, I don't want anyone-"

"Dad." I said, voice raw and husky, stepping out of my room, "What's going on?" 

"Nothing, sweetheart," He said with a smile, "I've got it handled." 

"Dani!" I heard from the other side of the door. 

"Luke?" I said, surprised, "What are you doing here?" 

"Sweetheart, if you don't want to talk to him, I can-"

"Thank you dad, but I'm alright," I said returning the smile, "Though I wouldn't mind a bottle of water right about now." 

Dad smiled, giving Luke a skeptical look and walking to the kitchen. 

"What are you doing here, Luke?" I asked, tired.

"I was given orders to return this to you," He said, handing me my overnight bag, "You ran out pretty fast without any warning or without telling anyone. We realised after Ashton refused to let anyone in the room that you weren't coming back." 

"Sorry about that." I mumbled, feeling worse. 

"You going to invite me in or....?" Luke asked, hands in his pocket, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Yeah, yeah!" I said, suddenly realising that we were still talking at the threshold, "We can talk in my room." 

"You know, Christina and I may be broken up and I don't know what Ashton and you are right now but I don't think that I can do this to them," Luke said, a bad attempt at a joke. I roll my eyes and slap him on the shoulder as he walks into the house and past me to get to my room. 

"Danielle," Dad calls out. I tell Luke that I would just be a minute before going to the kitchen where my father is. 

"Yeah dad?" I say and he hands me the bottle of water. Just as I am about to leave the kitchen he says, "You know Dani, if he was really the one, he would want you to be happy, not crying over him. He would find reasons to make you smile, not cry." 

I shoot my dad a small smile, not knowing how to tell him that the reason for my tears are me and not Ashton. I walk to my room, bottle of water in one hand and my phone in the other. I open my phone, expecting to see a flurry of texts from Christina, Ashton, Michael even....but there was nothing. 

"So why are you really here, Luke?" I ask, closing the door of my room and plopping down onto the bed beside him. 

"I told you, to give you the bag." 

"You're a terrible liar," I sigh, "You have to work on that for interviews if you want to sound convincing." 

"Interviews?" 

"When you become a rockstar," I say with conviction, "Magazines and television networks will be blowing up your phones to get a statement about who you're dating, who your new song is about! You have to be ready to lie." 

"You really think we'll make it?" He asks, eyes lighting up. 

"If I could bet on it, I would go all in." 

"Christina sent me," He said, caving. 

"Why didn't she come herself?" 

"Something about how we would be able to work it out better than she can." Luke siad shrugging his shoulders. 

"Wonder what she meant by that..." 

"I think it's our situation," Luke offers, "It's similar in a way."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Oh come on, Dani," Luke scoffs, "What are you running away from?" 

"Nothing!" I say, voice still slightly husky. I take a sip of water while Luke looks at me incredulously, "Stop looking at me like that, weirdo."

"What do you expect?!" He says, throwing his hands in the air, "I thought we moved past the whole running away from problems and pretending they don't exist thing." 

"But there is no problem!" I say. 

"What happened that made you cry?" 

"No-"

"If you say nothing again, Danielle Walker, I swear on my future career I will never talk to you again!" Luke threatened and I sighed.

"Ashton told me that he loved me." 

"And?" 

"And what?" I ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

"I'm waiting for the bad news," He said, as if it were obvious. 

"That is the bad news, Luke!" 

"That Ashton has emotions and he chose to express them?" 

"That even though he knows how I feel about love, he chose to tell me that he loves me anyway." I say, growing more and more annoyed by the minute. 

"And you left in tears because of this?" 

"I left because I know that I can't reciprocate what he feels and-"

"And you don't think that your worrying about hurting him is love?" Luke probed and I stopped. 

"I don't believe in love."

"Who are you trying to convince, Dani?" Luke said, "Me or yourself?" 

"I don't believe in love, Luke." I repeated. 

"Or you do believe in love but you just don't want to get hurt."

"I don't believe in love!" I said again, firmer this time. 

"Yeah? Why?" He challenged. 

"Do you love Christina?" I asked him. 

"With all my heart." 

"You say you love her, yet you cheated on her." I pointed out. 

Luke clenched his fist and his jaw went taut, "That was a low blow."

"It's a fact, Luke." I pointed out, "You know what else is a fact? My mom and dad said that they love each other so they dated. They said that they loved each other and got married. They said they loved each other and had two children. Then one day, the love just stopped and they go divorced. Now my mom says she loves Bryan." 

"Well that's just two examples, but what about-" Luke tried but I stopped him. 

"People throw the word 'love' around so often, Luke," I said with a sigh, "Love doesn't exist. People delude themselves into thinking it does because movies and books and music makes them think that it does." 

Luke seemed defeated. He sat next to me on the bed in sullen silence for minutes. For a second, I thought that I broke him but then he perked up, as if getting an idea. 

"Do you like Ashton?" 

"Of course I like Ashton!" I say as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Why do you like Ashton?" 

"Because he's kind, has a good heart, has an infectious laugh, dimpled smile with the most gorgeous eyes. He's gentle and tolerates me and is the sweetest person in the world. He puts everyone's needs before his own. He's an amazing person with a better personality than anyone I have ever met." 

"Are you going to miss him when he leaves?" Luke asked. 

"More than anything in the world." 

"Do you wish he weren't going?" 

"No." I say, "I want him to live out his dreams."

"Even if he loses you in the process?" 

"I'd rather he lose me than lose a chance at everything he's ever dreamed of." I say honestly, looking at Luke with a small smile. 

"What if his dreams changed?" Luke asked. 

"What do you mean?" 

"What if you're his dream now?" 

"I'm not a dream, Luke," I say with a scoff, "He only thinks he wants me, but I know that he doesn't. He'll forget about me." 

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Luke said. 

"Be realistic, Luke!" I try to reason, "I am only one girl but when you go to Australia, there'll be thousands of girls flocking to see you guys! They'll camp out just to get a glimpse of you! Once he realises that he can get any girl he wants..." 

"The fact that you're willing to get hurt for him, risk everything for him..." Luke said with a victorious smile, "If that isn't love, Dani, then I don't know what is." 

"I already told you-"

"Yeah that you don't believe blah blah blah," Luke said rolling his eyes, "It's not that you don't believe in love, Dani."

"Then what, huh, Luke?!" I challenge. 

"You're scared of getting hurt."

"That's the wors-" I tried to interject but Luke cut me off before I could say anything.

"Think about it, Dani," He said, looking straight at me, "Christina and I were happy, your parents were happy. We were all in love and we were estatic...then one day we weren't. You saw destruction and tears where there was happiness and love and now you're scared it'll happen to you too." 

"I don't believe in love." I said, voice faltering. 

"You do believe in love," Luke said, "You just don't want to get hurt." 

"I don't believe." I repeated with a shaky voice. 

"What you don't believe is how you fell so hard, so fast for someone you didn't even know 6 weeks ago." 

"He's leaving, Luke," I stated, "All of you are and I can't-"

"Can't or won't try?" Luke asked, cocking his eyebrow. 

"Can't." 

"He was going to take you to meet his mother today, you know," Luke said. 

"What?" 

"Yeah," Luke nodded, "He was going to introduce you to his mother; the one person who is the hardest on him." 

"He never wants to talk about his mom with me," I mumbled. 

"He only let us meet his mother years after we all became friends and you were going to meet her a month after you got to know him." 

"That doesn't mean anything," I say unconvincingly as I gripped the bedsheets in between my fingers. 

"I don't know who you're trying to convince now," Luke said, "But I'm sure that it isn't me." 

"What do you want, Luke?" I sigh, "What do you expect from me?" 

"For you to admit that you love Ashton too!" 

"Then what?" I ask, looking at him, defeated.

"What do you mean?" Luke asked, confused. 

"After I admit it, then what happens?" I ask, "What do you expect from me then? To move to Australia with you guys? To drop the scholarship from Julliard and uproot myself? What do you want from me?" 

"I want you to try and make it work." He said carefully. 

"How, Luke?! He would be on the other side of the Earth! We would be not only in different time zones, but different days! When I would be free, he would probably be recording. It's impossible! This can't happen." 

"Dani, just-"

"You need to leave." I said, softly. 

"Danielle you have to stop pushing people away just bec-"

"Please just go, Luke." I said, getting off the bed and opening the door.

"Dani," He tried but I shook my head, the floor suddenly becoming very interesting, "Just t-"

"I think you need to go now, son," Dad said looking at Luke sympathetically. 

Luke sighed and got off the bed, walking to the door of my room before turning around and saying, "Just talk to him, Danielle. You can't deny the truth forever." 

I heard the front door shut before I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding in and sat on the edge of my bed. Dad was now leaning against the doorframe and looking at me expectantly.

"What is it, dad?" I ask, emtionally and mentally drained. 

"What are you going to do now, kiddo?" He asked and I looked at him with raised eyebrows. 

"Eavesdropping, I see," I teased slightly and he smirked. 

"I can't help it," He said, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm a sucker for love stories." 

"There is no love story," I scoff, suddenly doubting my whole belief system for love. 

"You don't sound so sure about that," He said, trying his hardest to supress a smile, but failing. 

"I'm just...tired." 

"As much as I want to hate the guy, Dani, I can't." He said, "Ashton seems like a nice boy and you clearly have taken quite a liking to him." 

"He was my boyfriend." I stated. 

"Was?" 

"Is? Was? I don't know anymore!" 

"Whatever you think you are, Dani, he's leaving," Dad said and I frowned, "Don't waste precious time. You know you'll regret it if you lose whatever time you have left." 

"I can't hurt him more than I already have, dad," I say, voice cracking in the middle of my sentence. 

"You would probably do more damage sitting here and avoiding him than you would being with him and talking to him."

"I can't give him what he wants." I say, trying to grasp at any possible excuse not to see Ashton, even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me to be with him, to see him, to hold him, to kiss him - but I fought it.

"He only wants you, Dani," He said, "Even a blind man can see that." 

"I can't-"

"You can either stay here and make excuses, or go to him and sort this out and spend more time with him before he leaves." Dad said, folding his arms over his chest, "The choice is yours."

"What do you think I should do, dad?" I ask after a couple of beats of silence. 

"I can't make this decision for you, my dear," He said with a small smile, "Follow your heart." 

Ahh, the most cliched line in all of history - follow your heart. People always tell you to follow your heart but the only thing my heart ever says is _thud, thud, thud._ What good is this advice?! 

"Close your eyes." Dad said and I obliged, "Now say the first thing that pops in your mind, okay?" 

"Not sure what good is going to do, but fine," I said, sighing, "I'll play along." 

"Sky!" He said.

"Clouds!" I answered immediately. 

"Pen."

"Paper!" 

"Watch!"

"Time!" 

"Love." 

"Ashton!" I said and my eyes snapped open. "I mean..."

"You have your answer," Dad said with a smirk, walking away from my bedroom. 

I couldn't...I don't.... 

 _I don't believe in love._ I tried to tell myself 

 _I don't believe in love._ I say again

 _I don't believe in love?_ I start to question. 

If I don't really believe in love then how do I explain how my heart starts beating a million times faster when I see Ashton? How do I explain the smile on my face from his name being mentioned? How do I explain the butterflies in my stomach when I see him and how I can't wait to be near him? How do I explain the constant rush in my veins when I am with him? 

Maybe Luke was right. Maybe I do believe in love, but I'm scared to get hurt. 

I jumo on my feet, closing the door of my room and rushing to my cupboard, picking out the first thing my hands touch. [I fling off my clothes and put the romper on](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=209308971), tearing the hair tie out of my hair, mentally thanking my past self for putting my hair in a bun, for the amazing curls that it left. I whip out my glasses, carefully putting the contacts in and reach down to put my white sandals on. I practically rush out of the house but was stopped by my father. 

"What are you going to do, Dani?" He asks, holding a mug of tea in his hand.

"Hopefully the right thing for both of us," I answer vaguely, closing the door behind me. I fish out my keys and start the car, dialing with one hand and trying to put my seatbelt on with the other. 

"Dani?" Ashton answered on the third ring, "Thank god, I was trying-"

"Meet me at the rock as soon as possible," I say, cutting him off, "We need to talk."

Then I hung up.

I reached the spot in under 2 minutes, seeing as how I basically broke the sound barrier to get there. I got out of the car, locking it before running to the rock. I was a panting mess, looking around for Ashton, in the off chance that he got here before me. He didn't 

I was thankful for that as it gave me some time to mull over how I was going to tell him. A million different ideas were swirling in my head - a million different ways to tell him, but none of them the right one. I needed to convey it in a right way, a gentle way; the perfect way.

"Dani?" 

Ashton was here. I turned around only to see him walking towards me. 

"Ashton." 

"You called?" He asked, getting straight to the point, standing in front of me.

"Yeah, Ashton, look-"

"Have you been crying? Your eyes..." He said, lifting his hand as though he were about to cup my cheek, but he stopped himself. 

"Uhh, yeah, I did but that's not-" I started to say but he cut me off, again.

"Oh my god, I made you cry." He said with a scoff and his mouth setting in a frown. 

"What? No, Ashton-"

"What kind of person am I?" He said, running his fingers through his already unruly hair, "I ruin everything don't I-"

"Ashton! Focus!" I said, trying to get his attention to no avail, "Ash-"

"I'm a terrible person!" He complained, too many thoughts in his mind, "First, I make us fight when we were in such a good place, then I ruin us by telli-" 

I took his face in my hands and smashed our lips together. I clearly caught Ashton offguard as his eyes were snapped open and hands were firmly by his sides. His brain caught up to my actions and he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him, thw kiss turning needy. One of my hands go around his neck, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck and the other runs through his soft hair. 

I was the first one to pull away, resting my forehead to his as we take each other in. 

"What was that for?" He says in a soft voice. 

"To shut you up, for one," I tease, arms around his neck. 

"I should start rambling more often." He says with a dimpled smile, "What's the other reason?" 

"To tell you something," I say, a lump suddenly forming in my throat, blood rushing through my veins. 

"What is it?" 

"3 words, 8 letters," I say in a voice barely above a whisper. 

"What?" He asks, voice sounding hopeful but eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I love you." 

"Say it again." He says, smile growing bigger and heart beating faster. 

"I love you, Ashton Irwin." I say with a little laugh, giddiness taking over me. 

"Again." He says, moulding his lips over mine in a messy kiss, teeth bumping with teeth as I feel him smile through it. His hands travel to y hips, taking them firmly before picking me up. 

"I love you!" I say as he spins me around a couple of times before putting me down. He leans down, placing his lips over mine in a slow, gentle kiss. 

"I love you too, Danielle." 

 


	35. Chapter 35

We were on his bed, Ashton and I. His head was in my lap and my back was on the headboard. My fingers were running through his hair while the other was holding up a book. Ashton's eyes were closed but he wasn't sleeping, just enjoying each other's company. We had 48 hours left together; give or take. There were piles of clothes strewn across the room, some in the bag and some just thrown carelessly everywhere else. It looked worse than if a tornado were to come in and mess up the room.

Ever since we said those words to each other (more like he said them and I returned them after being dramatic about it) he didn't want to stop. I told him that I'd rather say it once and mean it than say it a million times for it to just lose its effect. I loved the way that he understood me. 

"I can hear you thinking all the way over here," He muttered, shifting his position on my lap.

"Hmm?" [I said](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_236/set?id=210212879), still running my fingers through his soft brown hair. 

"You've been reading the same page for the last 10 minutes," He said in a soft, low voice that made my stomach fuzzy, "What's on your mind, baby?" 

"Nothing," I said, trying to hold back a sigh. 

"I don't know who you think you're fooling and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it's no one." He said in a sarcastic voice, opening his eyes and putting his hand on my cheek, "So, why don't you tell me, your loving boyfriend, what's bothering you." I leaned against his hand and closed my eyes. 

"What's going on with you?" He asked again. 

"I guess it's just hitting me that you're leaving and I might just lose you."

"Hey, look at me," He said and I opened my eyes to find his honey brown eyes staring right back at mine while his thumb caressed my cheek, "You're not going to lose me; not now, not ever." 

"You say that now...but what if you-"

"Not now, not ever," He repeated, cutting me off mid-sentence. I shot him a small smile and he moved his hand from my cheek to my neck, bringing my face down slowly towards his that was on my lap. My hair formed a curtain around us as I melted into his lips. We kissed slow, no rush, no lust; just love.   
  
"You're leaving to Australia," I said, pulling back from the kiss.   
  
"I am well aware of that," He said with a little smirk.   
  
"What if-" I started with my doubts but he cut me off straight away.   
  
"I don't know why you're overthinking this, baby," He said, his smirk turning into a frown, "I know that I'm going but I thought that we worked this out already? I love you and you love me."   
  
"Yeah but what if-"  
  
"We can make this work." He said firmly and I smiled at him, leaning down to kiss him again, moulding my lips over his and moving sloely, passionately. My necklace was on his chest and he pulled away, holding it delicately on his palm as if it could break at any second.   
  
"You know, you still haven't told me how you got this necklace," He commented with a smile, twisting and turning it around, inspecting every centimeter of it. The cresent moon was tiny in comparison to his large hands, the blue studded diamonds shimmering as if they were stars, twinkling in the reflection of his eyes.   
  
"My grandmother gave it to me," I said, looking down at the necklace that I never took off. "She was there for me when no one else was. She gave it to me just before she died. When mom and dad fought, which was a lot, Nathan and I used to go to her place."   
  
"You don't have to," Ashton said softly, cupping my cheek when he saw that I was living everything all over again.  
  
"No it's fine," I said shooting him a small smile, "I learnt the words bitch and asshole before I learnt how to add numbers. My grandma realised how bad things were getting back at home and she started spending more time with us. My parent's screams were getting worse and worse until she snapped and took Nathan and I away from that house. My parents realised how we were affected by their fighting and tried to tone it down. Long story short, she gave this to me and told me that it was a gift, a special necklace with special powers. She said that whenever I wore this necklace, nothing could hurt me, nothing could get to me. She told me that whenever I was faced with a problem, I should put on this necklace and everything would be okay."   
  
"She sounds like an amazing woman," Ashton commented.  
  
"She was."   
  
"I know that she would be so proud of the person you've become," He said with a beaming smile.   
  
"How would you know?"   
  
"Because I know that I am."   
  
"She would've loved you," I said with a knowing smile.   
  
"Yeah?" He asked and I nodded.   
  
"She was funny like you and could always make me smile in the worst situations, just like you."   
  
"Whatever experiences you went through, I'm glad you did because it made you the person you are today," He said cupping my cheek, "And you know how I feel about her."   
  
I leaned down and kissed Ashton. The kiss started off slow, our lips moulding together but quickly became heated. He leaned up and moved off my lap, pushing me softly down on the bed and got on top of me, one hand on my cheek and the other holding his weight. I reached my hands around his neck, playing and scratching the hairs at the nape of his neck, making him moan. His hand travelled from my cheek to my neck to my waist and at the hem of my dress, before flipping us so that I was on top. I broke the kiss in surprise and straddled him, moving my hair before leaning down to kiss him.   
  
"Ashton!" We heard and stopped instantly. It was as if a bucket of cold water just got dumped on us.   
  
"Is that-" I started to ask but got cut off by Ashton.   
  
"Yeah." He said, eyes going wide, "That's my mother."   
  
I struggled to stifle a giggle, my hand cupping my mouth.   
  
"What's so funny?" He asked, eyes narrowing in playful anger.   
  
"I've never been cockblocked by someone's parents before; friends, sure but never parents," I said, biting my bottom lip, "It's cute."   
  
"Wait, I was going to get some?" He asked, eyes lighting up.   
  
"Well, yeah," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "What else did you think we were doing?"  
  
"Making out!"   
  
"Foreplay!" I said.   
  
"So-" He started to say but was cut off by his mother calling his name again.   
  
"Are you going to introduce us?" I asked him and his face automatically fell, eyes dimming.   
  
"Uhh, my mom isn't very nice to my...lady friends."   
  
"Lady friends..."   
  
"It's complicated," He sighed and got off the bed.   
  
"Like your relationship with Brittany. Got it." I said, with a little scoff, running my fingers through my hair and getting off the bed.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" He said cocking his eyebrow.   
  
"Oh come on Ashton! You take me on this ride about how you and Brittany aren't in a relationship anymore yet you keep acting like you're cheating on her!"   
  
"Where is this coming from?" He asked surprised.   
  
"It was a long time coming!" I said, "You keep telling me that you'll explain yet the only explanation I keep getting is that it's complicated."   
  
"Why are you-"  
  
"I keep telling myself that I don't need to bring it up, that you'll tell me on your own, that I shouldn't ruin a good thing," I interrupted, "Now there's only a day and a half left till you're gone and we're meant to be in a relationship but you're calling me your  _lady friend."_  
  
"Maybe if you just-" He tried to say but I stopped him. I grabbed my bag and stuffed my phone inside.   
  
"I'll see you later!" I said, opening the door to storm off but was met with a lady with blonde hair and Brittany walking up the stairs.   
  


"Mrs. Irwin, I do not think that it's necessary to-"  
"I've told you honey, call me Anne. Ashton, you won't believe who-oh," She said when the door opened but stopped when she realised that I wasn't her son.   
  
"Hello." I said awkwardly, running my fingers through my hair.   
  
"Mom!" Ashton said, surprised, scratching the back of his neck.   
  
"Dani?" Brittany said, "What are you doing here?"   
  
"I would like to know the same thing," Ashton's mother said with her arms crossed over her chest. I looked over at Ashton who looked like a deer in headlights.   
  
"I was just leaving," I said, hoisting my bag on my shoulder, throwing a look to Ashton and shaking my head in disappointment while mumbling, "It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Irwin and you too Br-"  
  
"No, stop!" Ashton said, grabbing my wrist in a vice grip. I looked at him and he breathed out a shaky breath while looking at his mother who looked like Ashton just kicked a puppy. She was furious and quickly looked at Brittany with an apologetic look.   
  
"I am so sorry but-"   
  
"Oh that's alright Mrs Irwin, I was only here to drop off the contract on behalf of my father," She said politely, looking visibly uncomfortable despite trying to mask it, "I did not mean to impose on this-"  
  
"Honey, you're never an imposition in this house," Ashton's mother said, "Please do come back and stay for tea sometime."   
  
Brittany shot her a small smile and let herself out of the house. His mother's smile broke and she turned to the two of us with fire in her eyes.   
  
"You two!" She spat, "Downstairs! Now!"   
  
"Is she mad because we were in your room?" I whispered to Ashton who had a deep frown on his face.   
  
"No. My mom is just-"   
  
"Now! Ashton Fletcher Irwin!" She practically screamed from the bottom of the stairs, glaring at the two of us. He sighed in defeat, grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers as we walked down, me looking at him in confusion and him with a blank face. We watched as she sat down with her face in a hard expression. I twisted my hand out of Ashton's fingers and sat on one end of the couch while he sat on the other.   
  
It was quiet. Too quiet for my liking. The air was filled with nothing but tension, so much tension that it would break the knife that was trying to cut it.   
  
"Mrs. Irwin," I said, breaking the silence but doing nothing to tension, "I am so sorry that-" I tried to say but quickly got cut down by her pointed look. I sunk further into the couch, wishing nothing more than for it to swallow me whole to escape that hatred I see in her eyes. I looked to Ashton for salvation and he shook at his head at me telling me that it'll be okay.   
  
"What is it mom? Why did you call us down here?" He asked with a sigh.   
  
"You know why!" She screamed, making me jump, "How could you do this to me? To her?!"   
  
"To who mom?" He said more than asked, daring her to say it.

I was lost. I had no idea what was going on but I decided to stay quiet, sinking further back into the soft red couch.  
  
"To Brittany!" She screamed, pointing at the door as if she were there.  
  
"Brittany means nothing to me!" Ashton shouted.   
  
"Don't you dare!" His mother said with a pointed finger.  
  
"Dont I dare do what, mom?" He screamed, jumping off the couch, "I don't understand why you're forcing me to be with someone I haven't cared about in a long long time!"   
  
"You know exactly why you have to be with her!" She spat, standing up from her seat, standing her ground.  
  
"No mom, actually I don't!" He screamed, "All I know is how you feel like you owe-"  
  
"Don't!" She spat in a warning tone, eyes pointed and filled with rage.   
  
"Don't what mother? Don't tell you the truth?!" Ashton snarked with a laugh filled with pain and anger, "Why? 'Cause you can't handle it?"   
  
"I swear Ashton Irwin if you even-"  
  
"What then, huh mom?! What are you going to do?" He said, "Force me to be in a relationship with her when I'm all the way on the other end of the world? I wouldn't be surprised."   
  
"What is that supposed to mean?!"   
  
"It means that you've never had any regard for my feelings! Only your own!" He screamed, throwing his hands in the air, "You haven't shown me even a shred of a love ever since dad-"   
  
"I did what I had to," She screamed back, "I put a roof over your head, food on the table and-"  
  
"And don't forget about the part where you make me stay at home to take care of my younger siblings and be in a relationship with someone I don't care about."   
  
"I think this is a family matter and I'm just going to-" I said, interjecting in the middle of a heated silence, but got cut off by Ashton.   
  
"No. Stay." He said, walking over to me and interlacing our fingers, "This is the girl I'm in love with. Danielle Walker, not Brittany Robertson."   
  
"You don't-"   
  
"I do mom!" He said, cutting her off before she could even start, "I'm in love with her and she's in love with me. We've been together for a while."   
  
"You were just with Brittany at the start of the summer and now you're with-"   
  
"Mom!" He shouted in a strained and broken voice, "You're not listening to me."   
  
"You loved Brittany at the start of summer," She said, ignoring what Ashton was saying, "What happened?"  
  
"I had a crush on her when I was 6 mom! That doesn't count as love!" He scoffed, "You practically forced us to be together when you got that job with Mr. Robertson! I have cheated on her _so many times_  and both of you knew that!"   
  
"Every relationship has problems, sweetheart but if you just rough it out-"   
  
"We _don't_  want to be together!" He screamed before taking a breath, "We never did."   
  
"You know why you have to be together, Ashton," She seethed, "Stop thinking about you and start thinking about your family!"   
  
"I'm finally happy, mother!" He said, "Lauren and Harry are happy as well! Why can't you be too?"   
  
"Because I'm too busy thinking about my family's future unlike you who is going off to Australia to pursue some stupid-"  
  
"That 'stupid' thing happens to be my dream!" He said in disbelief, as if he had just got punched in the gut. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had no idea that Asthon's mother was so...so controlling and mean. Those were the only words polite enough to describe my boyfriends mother. How else was I supposed to describe this woman who has ignored her children and deprived them of love and wouldn't even listen to them?!   
  
"With all due respect Mrs. Irwin, may I say something?" I said in the most polite and respectful voice I could muster up. I was tired of hearing Ashton scream and shout for the least bit of attention. I was tired and pained from hearing his broken voice. I had to do something about it.  
  
"You just did." She seethed, as if my mere presence was an insult to her very being.  
  
"Mrs. Irwin," I started, ignoring her comment, "Speaking from an outsider's point of view, it seems like Ashton is trying to talk to you but you're just brushing him off. I understand that you only want what you think is the best thing for him, but look at it from his perspective; he's trying to talk to you - his mother, and you're completely ignoring everything he's saying."   
  
"This is a family matter!" She spat, "And you're just the flavour of the month! So how about you-"  
  
"I may just be the flavour of the month but you're his mother. If he can't get through to you, his only parent, who do you think he's going to talk to? He's going to be gone in two days, Mrs. Irwin...Don't you think that instead of fighting with him over a girl, you should be laughing, talking, making memories that will warm your heart while he's gone?"   
  
"Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?"   
  
"A girl who wants to see her boyfriend with a smile on his face." I answered.   
  
"I will have you know that-"  
  
"Mrs. Irwin, please!" I screamed and then there was silence. Nothing but silence and shocked faces all around, "If not for you or Ashton, think about Harry and Lauren who are upstairs, hearing everything. Don't you think that they've been through enough?! Their big brother is going away in two days and the last memory they are going to have is him and their mother fighting!"   
  
"Look-" She started to say but I held my hand up.   
  
"You two need to sit the hell down and have a heart to heart!" I said, pointing at the couch. Mrs. Irwin looked at me like I was crazy but I kept pointing ushering them to sit - and they did. "I'm going to be upstairs with Harry and Lauren."   
  
"Danielle-" Ashton said with a confused expression but I shook my head.   
  
"You only have one mother, Ashton," I sighed, "You helped me fix my relationship with my father and I have so much lost time to make up...I don't want both of you going through the same thing."   
  
"Dani, we can't fix anything by just sitting here..." He said, looking uncomfortable.   
  
"No you can't," I said, "But you can try."   
  
"There's nothing to fix!" Mrs. Irwin said with a scoff.   
  
"I don't know why you're so willing to believe that but I can sure as hell tell you that there is so much sadness and tension in this room right now that even a blind person can see it!" I said, "We only have one family, Mrs. Irwin; I think it's time that you get yours back."   
  
I walked up the stairs, hearing nothing but silence all around and sighed. I don't know why I thought that I could help them fix things, but I had to try. I walked into [Lauren's room and saw her lying on the bed with](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_237/set?id=210311168) her phone and Harry sleeping on the beanbag with the laptop open in front of him.  
  
"Hey Laur!" I said, jumping on the bed next to her, ruffling Harry's hair, "What's up?"   
  
"Apart from Ashton and mom fighting downstairs, nothing much," She said tapping away on her phone.   
  
"Sorry you had to hear that," I said wincing.   
  
"You say that like it doesn't happen often," She scoffed, rolling her eyes.   
  
"Look Laur, they're really trying but-"   
  
"Forget it, Danielle," She said, shaking her head, "First it was my father and mother fighting and that ended up with him leaving and now it's Ashton and mom and now he's going too..."   
  
"He's not going because of your mom, Lauren," I said, scooting closer to her, "He's going to live his dream! He's going to pursue something that he's been dreaming of for ages!"   
  
"And leaving us is what? Collateral damage?"   
  
"Leaving you is a sacrifice that he has to make."   
  
"If you think that I'm going to believe you-" She said, voice breaking in the middle of her sentence.  
  
"None of this is your fault, you know that right?" I asked, placing my hand over hers, "Ashton didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave you, Harry or your mom."   
  
"Then why is he leaving?" She asked.  
  
"Because he saw how pursuing his dream would give all of you better futures - including him." I said, "You wouldn't believe how much he loves all of you. If you told him to stay, you know that he wouldn't even hesitate."   
  
"I'm going to miss him, Dani." She said, tears welling in her eyes.   
  
"I know, sweetheart," I said, pulling her into me so that I could comfort her, "I'm going to miss him too."   
  
~~~  
  
"So how did it go?" I asked him as he walked into Lauren's room hours later. She was curled up into me and I was stroking her hair with one hand and going through my instagram feed on another.  
  
"We're on the same page now, but it'll take time to be....okay," He said carefully, rubbing his eye and walking over to the bed.   
  
"At least you talked it out," I said with a smile, "I'm proud of you."   
  
"What's wrong with Lauren?" He asked, worry etched on his face.   
  
"We had a heart to heart as well," I said with a small smile, "It's all good."   
  
"Am I doing the right thing, Dani?" He asked, sitting on the foot of the bed.   
  
"With what?"   
  
"Moving to Australia," He said with a frown.   
  
"I think you are," I said, "It's only natural you're feeling this way, especially with all that has happened today."   
  
"Yeah but-" He started to doubt but I cut him off.   
  
"Do you like playing the drums, Ash?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Can you see yourself working a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle?"   
  
"Not even a little." He said with conviction.   
  
"When you picture your future do you see yourself on drums?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Do you know what you have to do now?" I asked with a smile, still stroking Lauren's hair.   
  
"I do."   
  
"Any regrets?" I ask.   
  
"Just one," He said with a sad smile.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"That you're not coming with me." 


	36. Chapter 36

"Where are you taking me, Ash?" I laughed, clutching his hand while Ashton led me to wherever he wanted me to go. 

"Shhh, just trust me," He said with an excited grin etched on his face. I giggled, trying to keep up with him and his long limbs, the excitement only fueling him. 

"Slow down!" I said,[ my heels sinking into the sand, my hairblowing in the wind](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_248/set?id=212390551) and on my bare legs; but Ashton never let me falter, not even once. 

"Sorry! I'm just excited," He said, slowing down and falling into pace with me. We walked slower now, appreciating what was left of each other's company. 

"I can tell," I teased, squeezing his hand in mine. "Where are we going anyway?" 

"Nope!" He said, a mischievious grin on his face, "I did not spend half the day trying to make this surprise special only to blow it when we're minutes away from it." 

"Oh come on! Not even a little, teensy, weensy hint for your adoring girlfriend?" 

"Nice try baby, but you just have to be patient," He said, walking a little faster but still making sure that I can keep up. 

"You know that's not my strong suit, Ash," I whined playfully. 

"Lucky for you, you have me to help build it." 

"Are we there yet?!" 

"Hmm," Ashton said, looking around before nodding, "Almost. Just a little more." 

"I can't wait!" I said, walking as fast as my heels would let me. I could hear Ashton chuckling from the back. I turned around to face him with a playful glare, "I can't help that I'm excited." 

"I'm not saying anything," He said in mock surrender. 

"You're laughing at me!" 

"I can't help that I have the most adorable girlfriend in the world." 

"You're forgiven." I said, tilting my head up to place my lips on his. He obliged, only tilting down a little since my heels made me taller. "As much as I would love to kiss you, we have a date to get to." 

"What kind of date?" I said, kissing him again, feeling him grinning through the kiss. 

"One that you have to be patient to see," He teased, knowing what I was trying to do. 

"Fine," I sighed, "Onwards we go." 

We walked a few more feet before I saw the smallest glimmer of light. I looked at Ashton who was a ball of anxiety and excitement. He wouldn't let go of my hand, so I had to drag him to the source of the light. I stopped in my tracks when I saw it. It was beautiful. It was the perfect date night. 

There was a picnic blanket filled with pillows on the sand. In the middle of the blanket was a single purple orchid - my favourite flower and my favourite colour. There were candles lighting up the path to the picnic blanket and fairy lights being lit up by a portable battery. A bucket that held a bottle of white wine was right next to the blanket. 

"Well..." Ashton said, one hand scratching his neck, "What do you think?"

"Ashton," I breathed, turning to him, "It's perfect. You're perfect." 

"Do you remember the night you came back from your date with Dylan?" He asked and I nodded, suddenly realising what he meant.

"And you told me that he went about my date all wrong."

"And I told you how I would do it." 

"You remembered," I said, tears prickling my eyes. 

"Ready?" He said and I nodded. He led me through the candle lit path to the picnic basket. I took off my heels and made myself comfortable on the blanket and pillows. 

"Where's the food?" I asked, looking around for the basket. Ashton smirked as he pulled out two large pizzas and placed them in front of me. 

"Best. Boyfriend. Ever." I said, emphasising each word as my eyes stayed glued to the pizza. 

"I'm starting to think that you like food better than me," Ashton said with a chuckle as he placed a slice of Chicken Pepperoni and cheese pizza on a plate, handing it to me. 

"Oh I definitely like food better," I said with a pornographic moan as I took a bite of the pizza. "I can definitely show this pizza a good time." 

"Babe, I love you, I really do, but if you keep making noises like that, I'm going to have a really big problem." 

"Really big?" I said with a cocked eyebrow, "You think very highly of yourself." 

"First the cheating on me with the pizza and now hurting me," Ashton said, feigning hurt, "You're mean today." 

"I'm not mean!" I scoffed, "You interrupted me and my new boyfriend." 

"Your new boyfriend?" Ashton asked, mouth set in a hard line. 

"Paul." I answered, taking another bite of the pizza. 

"Who's Paul?" 

"Paul the pizza." I answered and felt Ashton deflate. 

"I'm sure I can beat Paul any day," He joked and I playfully glared at him.

"Don't you dare!" 

"I'll beat up anyone who tries to steal you away," He said, leaning in. 

"Paul the pizza is an exception," I said, kissing the pizza instead of him before giggling. 

"The only exception." He said, taking a bite of his own pizza. 

"You are the only exception!" I sang to the pizza and then stuffed the last of the crust into my mouth.

"You're happy today," Ashton noted as I dusted the pizza crumbs off my hands. 

"I've got pizza, wine and you," I said, taking a sip of the wine, "What reason do I have not to be happy?" 

Ashton opened his mouth to speak but decided against it, simply going back to his pizza. 

"How are you and your mom getting along?" I asked, pouring myself another glass of wine. 

"She understands that Brittany and I haven't liked each other in a long time. She hasn't apologised for making me date Brittany just to get to her father...which sucks but I guess we have to work on that," Ashton said, letting out a shaky breath, "How we're going to figure this out before I leave tomorrow evening is beyond me." 

"Why do you have to solve anything before you leave?" 

"So we can clear the air," Ashton answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"If you're going to rush it then you might as well give up now!"

"Why?" 

"This needs time, Ashton," I explained gently, "You can't rush these things. You and your mom don't need to have anything figured out just yet, but if you do then great! As long as the both of you are talking, that's enough. Time heals all wounds. I should know better than anyone." 

"But you and your dad-" He started to say but I cut him off.

"Ony figured things out after we started talking, which mind you, was only last month. We didn't talk for ages and look how deep we dug our graves." 

"So what you're saying is that I don't try figuring anything out now?" Ashton asked but I shook my head. 

"What I'm saying is - baby steps." I clarified, taking another sip of wine, "Don't rush things." 

"What are we going to do about us?" Ashton asked changing the topic. 

"Sorry?" I spluttered, grabbing a napkin and dabbing my mouth and my dress down. 

"Us." He said, gesturing in the empty space between him and me, "You and me. When I leave, what are we going to do?" 

"There's still time, Ashton," I said, shooting him a small smile, "We'll figure it out in the morning." 

"I just don't want to postpone this anymore." He said, "I'm leaving tomorrow evening, Dani. There's barely 24 hours left and I don't-"

"Not now, Ash." I pleaded, not wanting to ruin the date. Not wanting to ruin the memories that will sustain me when he's gone, "Please." 

"Alright." He said with a small smile, moving the empty pizza boxes away, holding his arm out for me. I scooted closer to him, my head on his chest as his arm wrapped protectively around me.

"I want to stay in our little bubble a while longer." I said softly, looking up at Ashton, "Just a little while more."

"There's not much time either way, love," He said, kissing the top of my head, "We might as well." 

"You're going to be famous, Ash," I said, "There's going to be millions of girls at your feet, worshipping your every move, writing about you, crying over you, camping out for days just to get a glimpse of you. You're going to be a rockstar soon." 

"And every day, I'll come home to you." 

"You don't know-" I started to doubt but he stopped me with a kiss on my forehead.

"We're in our bubble remember," He said, mumbling on me, "Nothing can hurt us here." 

"And I'll be in Julliard." I reminded him. 

"You're going to sing and write amazing songs, become a star on the stage. Everyone everywhere will want to sign you in movies. You'll win an Oscar and get to act opposite Dylan O Brien, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie." 

"And every night, I'll come home to you." I repeated, looking up at night. 

"Do you really mean that?" He asked. 

"Do you?" 

"With every fiber of my being." He said without hesitation.

~~~ 

"How was your date with Ashton yesterday?"[ Christina asked](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_249/set?id=212394312http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_249/set?id=212394312), playing with the tassels on her bag. We were sitting opposite each other, only a square table and two cups of coffee separating us. 

"It was an absolute dream," [I gushed](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_250/set?id=212396140), sighing contently, "Do you remember I told you what happened after my date with Dylan?"

"Ashton was babysitting right?" She asked with a cocked eyebrow and I nodded furiously. 

"When I came back from the date, he told me that he could've done a better job and described the perfect date for me," I said and Christina gasped. 

"He didn't!" 

"He did!" I said with a permanent grin on my face, "He replicated that exact same date!" 

"Aww, he's so romantic." 

"And he decides to be romantic just before he has to leave," I joked with a hint of sadness that threatened to come out, "We have perfect timing, him and I."

"Did you guys talk about what'll happen after?" She asked. 

"No." 

"Why not?" She asked disappointed. 

"Why ruin a good thing," I sighed, leaning back on the chair, my hand around the cup. "Did you and Luke make up?" 

"We did, actually," She said, bringing the cup to her lips and sipping.

"And?" I pressed. 

"And we decided that we would give it a try," She said with a shrug of her shoulders. 

"Aren't you excited?" 

"Kinda." She said simply. 

"What does kinda mean?" 

"It means that we're something," Christina said vaguely. 

"You're acting like I was," I pointed out. 

"Now you know how annoying that is." 

"Tee!" I warned and she sighed, putting her coffee down. 

"I'm sorry, but it's just that even I don't know what's going on," She said, playing with the ends of her hair. 

"I thought you said that you guys talked." 

"We did!" 

"But?" I pressed on. 

"We didn't really do....much....talking per se," She mumbled. 

"Christina Milton!" I gasped, "You two had sex!" 

"Maybe a little," She said, biting her lip. 

"So you're back together?" 

"No." 

"Then?!" I asked. 

"We said that we would try this whole long distance thing," She said before adding, "And he said I can come with him if I want to. I mean, it's not like I'm going to be doing anything here anyway. I'm taking a gap year so..." 

"You're joining him?" 

"I don't know...Maybe?" 

"Tee, is that really the best idea?" I asked, voicing my concerns. 

"Weren't you the one who said that I should talk to him about what I was feeling!" She quipped, feeling attacked.

"I did but-" I started to explain but Christina cut me off, trying to justify herself and her actions. 

"Then what the hell is the problem here, Danielle?!" She screamed, placing the now empty mug harshly on the table, "I told Luke that I love him and he told me that he loves me!" 

I stayed quiet, letting her rant out all her pent up feelings. 

"You're the one who told me to do all of this and when I finally get what I want, you waltz in and expect me to give it all up?" She ranted, her anger turning into hurt, "I don't want to lose him again." 

"Done?" I ask and she nods, "What's really going on?" 

"I want to go with him, Dani. I want to be a part of his journey." 

"I don't think it's a good idea, Tee." I sigh. 

"But why?" She asks, hurt dripping from her voice. She knows why, she just needs to hear it. 

"Both of you have barely recovered from what happened and now you want to travel across the Earth, quite literally, where there are millions of new challenges..." I explain, "If this end badly, you might just lose each other in the process." 

"I know," She sighs, tears prickling her eyes. 

"Be friends." I say, "Be there for each other, support each other. Just don't..." 

"Don't go there with him." She finishes, "Let him find his own path." 

"Exactly." 

"Is that what you're going to do with Ashton?" She asks softly, looking up at me with knowing eyes, "That's why you didn't talk to him, isn't it?" 

"Exactly." I reply softly, staring at the coffee cup rather than her, for fear of how she would be looking at me. 

"What are you doing, Dani?" She says and from the corner of my eye, I can see her shaking her head. "Why are you doing this?" 

"I want him to make a name for himself, get everything he's ever wanted - no strings attached." 

"He won't want any of it if that means he can't have you and you know that!" Christina says, slamming her hand down on the table.

"That's what I'm afraid of." 

"For fucks sake, Dani!" She seethes, her disapproving glance pinning me to my place.

"He'll be okay. I know he will" 

"Will you?" 

"As long as he's happy, I'll be fine." I said, looking at her through glassy eyes. 

"He's happy with you!" 

"He's going to fucking Australia, Tee!" I say, exasperated, "You and I both know that the boys are amazingly talented and good looking. They'll be surrounded by gorgeous girls, prettier than me, smarter than me-" 

"But not you," She said, "He's truly, madly, deeply in love with you, idiot! He wouldn't trade you for Beyonce's career, so what the hell makes you think that he'll trade you for this." 

"And that's what scares me," I admitted in a small voice, "The fact that he's willing to give up an opportunity of a lifetime for a girl he met a month ago." 

"A girl that he's in love with." Christina deadpanned. "Those two things aren't mutually exclusive, Dani." 

"You wouldn't let Luke stay here and give up the record deal for you, would you?" 

"No but-" 

"And you forget that it's not only his life on the line here, Tee, it's the other three boys as well!" I interrupt her. 

"Huh, never thought about that," She said, clutching her empty coffee cup as if that will clear her head. 

"See why I've got to do this now?" 

"No." She said immediately, "I think what you're going to do is stupid and unnecessary." 

"It was never meant to be long term, Ashton and I." I tell her but she stands firm. 

"You're scared that this might just work out, despite whatever hardships you may have to through. You're scared that whatever beliefs you held when you came here are disappearing little by little and that's why you're so desperate for what you've come to know as normalcy - that's why you're so desperate to find whatever little loophole you can to escape and run away." She said, staring me in the eyes, not allowing me to look away, "Because that's what you do, Dani - You run. Run quick and run far."   
  
"I'm not run-"   
  
"You're running and you know that!" She almost yelled, making the rest of the coffee shop look at us, "Why can't you let yourself be happy?"   
  
"It's not my happiness that I'm worried about," I said, my coffee cup suddenly looking interesting, "I love him and that's why I have to do this."  
  
"You don't have to," She said, covering my hand with hers, "You can both be happy, together."   
  
"He's going to Australia, I'm going to be in the US..." I told her as if she already didn't know, "Not only is that a 16 hour time difference, there's going to be 9927.03 miles between us."   
  
"Distance and time are futile if you don't try to make it work," Christina said and I sighed, "You could blame anything and everything but if you don't try...you'll never know."   
  
"I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of his dreams."   
  
"Then don't." She said, as simple as that, "Support him."   
  
~~~  
  
"Hello Mrs Irwin," I greeted as she opened the front door.   
  
"Danielle, right?" She asked and I nodded, "Ashton's upstairs."  
  
"Thanks," I said with a smile, walking past her and to the stairs.   
  
"Umm, Danielle." She called out hesitantly, making me stop and turn around.   
  
"Yes, Mrs. Irwin?"   
  
"We got off on the wrong foot the other day and I just wanted to say that I am sorry," She explained with eyes full of remorse, "I know you're important to my son and I don't want to jeopa-"   
  
"Oh please don't apologize," I say, walking down so I can stand in front of her rather than on the stairs, "I'm just glad that you and your family are on good terms."   
  
"We wouldn't be if it weren't for you," She said, placing a hand on my shoulder.   
  
"I did nothing. This was all you." I said with a smile, walking back up the stairs to get to Ashton.   
  
"Oh and Danielle?" Mrs Irwin said, making me stop once again. "I've never seen him this happy in a long long time."   
  
I shot her a small smile, guilt suddenly washing over me. I'm not sure she would like me if she heard what I was going to do. Not sure if Ashton is going to like me either. I just hope he understands. I sigh and walk to Ashton's room, plastering a smile on my face.   
  
"Hey baby," He greets, when he sees me walk through the door. He stands up, walks over to me and kisses me.   
  
"Hey Ash." I say, surveying the now clean room, the only thing that looked out of place were the 3 big suitcases that stood by the cupboards. "You look packed and ready to go."   
  
"Yup!" He said excited, "I was just finishing up packing the toiletries into my hand carry."   
  
"Do you need any help?" I ask reluctantly, a weight settling on my chest knowing that these are the last few hours I was about to spend with him. Who knows what might happen in the future?   
  
"No, I'm good," He said, scrambling with excitement retrieving and packing his things. Occasionally he would stop and mumble the checklist to himself and then continued scrambling. I sat there just watching him. I didn't want to do anything else, I just wanted to take him in. I wanted this Ashton to be etched in my mind - the excited puppy with a smile plastered on his face and optimism and happiness in his soul. "I think that's all."   
  
"You sure you didn't forget anything?" I asked so I wouldn't draw suspicion from him.   
  
"I hope I didn't," He muttered, pointing and reciting his checklist, "Oh well! Even if there  is something, mom will bring it when she visits in a month."   
  
Then it hit me. He was actually leaving. I knew that he was, it just hadn't hit me yet. He would be on a plane to his dream in a few hours and I would be...well I would be here. A weight settled on my chest. I felt breathless, like all the air had just been knocked out of me. I tried my best not to show how I was feeling, just sitting there looking at Ashton.   
  
"Baby what's wrong?" He asked once his eyes settled on me.   
  
"What?" I breathed out, my body suddenly going cold, "Nothing. I'm good."   
  
"Hey, look at me," Ashton says, dropping the hoodie he was holding to sit beside me on the bed. He cups my cheek with his hand, "What's wrong, Dani?"   
  
"I guess it just really hit me that you're leaving," I confess, looking at him, leaning on his palm.   
  
"I'm not leaving you," He says with a smile on his face, "Nothing's going to change."  
  
"Except the fact that there will be a 16 hour time difference between us."   
  
"Time is merely an illusion," He says which makes me laugh. "There's that smile that I love."   
  
"I love you." I say and he lights up. He's always been the one, since the first night to tell me that he loves me.   
  
"I love you too."   
  
I lean in, capturing his lips with mine, moving slowly. He seemed to have the same idea as me because there was no urgency in this kiss, only passion and words left unsaid. We were trying to memorise each other. We didn't want this moment to end. We were back in our bubble. I moved my arms around his neck, locking them in place as I deepened the kiss, love and lust taking over me. I didn't want him to forget me and I think he knew it too.   
  
"Babe?" He asked confused, pulling away from my kiss.   
  
"Please," I said, pained.   
  
"I don't want you to do this if-" He started to protest.   
  
"I want to, Ash," I said, tugging on the hairs on the nape of his neck like he likes it.   
  
"Are you sure?" He asked. This is why I loved him. He wouldn't want to put me in harms way, wouldn't want me to regret anything.   
  
"I haven't been more sure of anything in my life."   
  
He leaned in, pecking me on the lips before getting off the bed and locking the door. I felt the weight on my chest grow...I was nervous, but I didn't know why. It wasn't like this was my first time with Ashton, but since then, something's changed and I didn't know what.   
  
Ashton turned around, eyes darkened. He stalked over to me making me scoot back on the bed as he climbed on top of me. He leaned down and mashed our mouth together, soft and needy at the same time. It was wet, needy, passionate yet very Ashton. My legs wrapped immediately around his waist, pulling him down towards me, grinding our bottom halves together. He moaned and I took that opportunity to slip my tongue in his mouth battling for domination.   
  
He pulled away from my mouth only to start attacking my neck, kissing it until he found my sweet spot. He bit and sucked, making me arch my back, still grinding up on his grey sweatpants, desperately seeking friction. He pulled away, much to my dismay and pulled off his shirt in what seemed like slow motion to me. Simply pulling off a shirt shouldn't be so god damn fucking sexy. This was unfair.   
  
I smirked up at him, sitting up and pulling him towards me by his neck, crashing our mouths together again. I rolled us around so that I was on top. I swiveled my hips down on his now growing bulge and pulled away from his mouth. He groaned at my action but I ignored it, now peppering kisses to his chest. I licked his abs and moved down. I palmed his erection and he squirmed, begging me to do something but I ignored him. I sat just below his erection and stripped my shirt off, leaving me in my shorts and bra. He moaned at the sight, reaching his hands towards my boobs but I slapped them away.   
  
"Patience baby," I said sultrily, running my hands up and down his abs. He moaned and ground his hips to my core to get some friction, making me moan in the process. I reached my fingers into his sweats and boxers and took his cock out. He moaned in relief, watching me intensely. I licked my lips and moved down his body to get comfortable. He was a panting mess above me and I loved it. I winked at him before leaning down and licking just the tip, making a show of me tasting his salty goodness. He groaned and shivered under my touch.   
  
"What do you want, baby?" I asked, pumping him a couple of times, before stopping all contact.   
  
"D-don't tease me," He moaned, sitting on his elbows to look down at me.   
  
"Me? I'm not doing anything..." I teased, blinking innocently.   
  
"Baby please," He begged and I almost broke out into an evil grin. Almost.   
  
"What do you want me to do?" I said, leaning up and kissing him, "Be very, very specific."   
  
He let out a guturral moan, "I want you to take my cock in your mouth and then I'm going to eat your pussy out and I won't stop until the neighbours know who you belong to."   
  
I was breathless. I was supposed to be in charge but I loved this side of him. I could feel the wetness pool in between my thighs. I kissed him, deepening the kiss and pumping his cock at the same time. I pulled away and moved, licking from the base to the shaft, feeling Ashton shiver in pleasure. I looked up at him, the panting, groaning mess that was my boyfriend and felt so god damn proud of myself. I'm the only one who can make him feel this way. Ashton raked his fingers through my hair and moved himself in and out of my mouth.   
  
He pulled on my hair, pulling me off him. I released him with a pop sound and climbed back onto him, kissing him feverishly. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue in my mouth, exploring every inch of it, moaning when he tasted himself. He rolled us over so that he was on top and kissed down my neck, marking me as his. I moaned and arched my back, my breasts on his chest. He trailed his hands down, palming my bra clad breasts, pulling them out, pinching and rolling the nipple with one hand, the other hand on top of my shorts, teasing my pussy.   
  
"Ash!" I moaned, grinding down for more friction. He smirked, lowering his head to take my nipple into his mouth, sucking before doing the same to the other nipple. He then reached around and unhooked my bra before proceeding to pepper kisses all down my chest and stomach. "Ash, I need you."   
  
"Shh baby," He said, pulling my shorts and underwear down. He moaned at the sight of my wetness, "Babe, you're so wet for me and I haven't even done anything."   
  
"Ash...please," I moaned, squirming in anticipation. He blew softly on my sex which made me shiver in pleasure. He licked my slit once, twice before attaching his lips to my clit. I let out a pornographic moan, squirming in pleasure. He held my thighs down , slowly easing a finger into me, pumping it in and out. I grinded myself down on his finger and his tongue. He alternated between licking my clit and tongue fucking me. "Ash, I'm go-gonna..." I moaned, breathless, not able to finish my sentence, being taken over by pleasure.   
  
"Cum for me, baby," He said, voice low and husky, sucking on my clit again. I felt the knot build up in my stomach before it exploded and I saw nothing but white. Ashton moaned when I came, licking me through my orgasm. He slid up to me, capturing my lips in a slow, passionate kiss. I deepened the kiss, moaning when I tasted myself on him.   
  
I rolled us over so that I was on top again, grinding myself down on him, feeling his rock hard cock standing stiff. "Condom." I said and Ashton reached over the bedside table in lightning speed, holding out the packet to my lips and I ripped it open. He rolled the condom on and tried to roll us over so that he was on top but I stopped him, pressing my hands down on his chest. Ashton smiled up at me, knowing that I was nervous. He leaned up to kiss me with his hands on my waist.   
  
I pulled away, gripping his cock in my hand and slowly eased myself down, the only sounds in the room were our moans. I gave myself time to adjust to his big size before, moving my hips in figure eights and alternated moving myself up and down his shaft. Ashton reached between our bodies and pressed his finger to my clit, stimulating me more. I swear I saw stars at that exact moment. I bounced faster on him.   
  
"Are you close baby?" He said, panting, voice husky. "Come on, Dani." I almost screamed in pleasure when he started drawing figure eights on my clit. The knot was building faster and more intense than before. I came hard, stilling myself on Ashton's chest. He thrust himself inside me once, twice before he faltered and came. I rode us through our orgasm before collapsing on Ashton's chest. He pulled out of me, my juices covering my thighs, but I didn't care. Ashton got up, disposed of the condom and came back on the bed with a damp towel, cleaning me off and himself. He picked up his sweats from the floor and threw me his shirt.   
  
"You okay?" He said, climbing back in bed, his arm around my waist as I lay on his chest.   
  
"Perfect." I answered, leaning up and pecking his lips before cuddling back on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAAAAAAY! 
> 
> Pshttt, I'm not a month late, you're just...early. I'm sorry guys, I have exams next week and I just finished all my assignments GAH! So yeah the plus side is that my exams only last two weeks so after that im alllll yours.
> 
> Well, the original plan was to finish everything in this chapter but I thought that it was already too long with too much info, so I'm breaking it up into 2 chapters. Plus, I still don't know if I want to do the heartbreaking ending or the really nice, sweet, sappy ending so that's another reason I'm breaking this up. 
> 
> Also also, I tried my hand in another smut chapter. Idk man I felt so...odd writing a smut chapter maybe because all my other chapters are so like....not smutty ahaha. 
> 
> As usual, I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it
> 
> Tell me your thoughts, or tell me anything at all! Like right now I'm trying to find my motivation to study cause tbh I have literally none! It's 5.10am here and legit I did nothing today. I am a useless potato.


	37. Chapter 37

[I've been standing outside](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=213819496)his house for the past 7 minutes and 43 seconds, contemplating whether or not I should knock. Should I see him? Should I not? What would I say to him? How could I possibly tell him what Danielle and I talked about during lunch? How could I articulate how I was feeling? Did I even know what I was feeling? All I knew was that I wanted to go on tour with Luke! I wanted to be with him through this amazing journey! I wanted to watch him as he rose to the top with his best friends! I wanted to be there every step of the way, with him. I wanted him. 

But I couldn't. 

What I wanted was irrelevant. We had our chance and it didn't work out. We were happy and now we're... We are what we are. He was going to go to Australia and be a big star and have all his dreams come true and I was going to get to watch it, but from afar.

I lowered my fist, and turned around. I took one last look at the house where a million memories were made and began walking away. Just as I took my third step, I heard the door open. 

"Christina?" Luke asked with surprise in his voice. 

"Hey Luke," I answered meekly, my hand clutching the strap of my bag tightly. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I, uh, I came to say goodbye." I said with a small smile. 

"What?" He asked in confusion, "I didn't hear a knock or anything." 

"Umm, that's because I, uh..." I started to say but suddenly lost all words.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked holding the door open.

"Aren't you going somewhere?" I asked, pointing at his wallet and car keys in his hand. 

"That can wait." 

"Luke, I don't think-" I started to say but he cut me off. 

"I think we need to talk, don't you?" He said nervously and I sighed, walking through the door. He led me to his room and I stood awkwardly in the space between his bed and the door. 

"You can sit down you know," He said from the bed. I shuffled awkwardly and sat on the opposite side of where he was. "What's wrong, Tee?" 

"Luke, I just..." I said and sighed when I couldn't find the right words. 

"Is this about yesterday?" 

"Kinda." 

"Do you regret what happened?" He asked, scared to hear the answer. 

"Not even a little bit." 

"Then what is it?" He asked, shuffling closer. 

"You know when we said that we would give us a try," I told him, afraid to look up. 

"Yeah." 

"I don't think that...we should." 

"You don't think that we should try again?" He said more than asked with hurt all over him. 

"I don't think that it's practical, Luke." 

"You're not coming with me, are you?" He accused. 

"Look, Luke," I said, finally getting the courage to look at him. I took his hand in mine, forcing him to look at me, "I love you. I love you so, so much." 

"Then come with me, Tee." He said, voice breaking in the middle, "We can work this out!" 

"Luke..." I managed to get out despite the big lump in my throat, "I love you, Luke, that's why I'm doing this. You're going to go and live out your dreams. You're going to sell out arenas and tour the world! You're going to make the music you and the boys always dreamed of! You're going to conquer the world. But you can't do all of that with me there." 

"I can! Christina we can do this together!" He tried to convince me but I shook my head. 

"I would love to be there, Luke, but I can't and you know I can't!" I said with a smile on my face but tears stinging my eyes. 

"Tee, we can-" He started to say but I cut him off. 

"Shhh," I said, my hand carressing his cheek as I leaned in and placed my lips on his. 

"Tee..." He said as he pulled away, wiping away my tears.

I picked up my bag and shot him a smile as I got off the bed. 

"I'll see you at the airport, Luke."

"Christina!" Luke called out as my hand was on the doorknob. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, "I'm sorry." 

"What for?"

"Everything." He said, "We had everything and I ruined it." 

"You still have me, Luke."

"I love you." He said as though it was his last words. 

"I know." I said with a small smile, walking out the door.

~~~ 

This moment right here is everything I want in life.

I was laying on Ashton's chest, drawing random patterns on his bare pelvis while he was ghosting his hand over my arm. We were happy in this moment. I wanted to pause time. 

"What are you thinking?" He asked, voice soft but husky. 

"How much I want to pause time so we could live like this forever." I admitted, eyes still closed. 

"You know what's funny?" He said and I could feel his boyish grin. 

"Hmm?" 

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" 

We settled in this comfortable silence, pretending that time doesn't exist, pretending that he didn't have to move to Australia, pretending that it was just us and the bed and nothing else in the world, not even the 3 giant bags of things. We were happy in this perfect moment and I didn't want it to end. Once the bubble bursts, we would have to talk about the heavy things, the things that even I didn't know the answers to and I didn't want that. After a month of hardships, I was glad that we finally found our groove, our happy place.   
  
"What's wrong?" He asked and I turned to look at him.   
  
"Nothing, why?"   
  
"You have that look on your face." He said, lifting up his hand to caress my cheek.  
  
"What look?"   
  
"I call it the Dani-Is-Thinking-Too-Much-Look." He joked.   
  
"I'm just trying to remember this moment, right here, right now." I said, looking at him with a smile as we settled back into the comfortable silence of our little bubble.

"What's your favourite song?" I asked him, breaking the silence. 

"Love me now by John Legend." He answered, his fingers burning a trail on my arm. 

"How does it go?" I asked, drawing a heart with my finger. 

" _I don't know who's gonna kiss you when I'm gone, so I'm gonna love you now like it's all I have. I know it'll kill me when it's over, I don't want to think about it, I want you to love me now_." He sang softly, kissing my head once he finished. 

"I love your voice." I admitted, humming along. 

"I love you." 

"Ugh, sap!" I scoffed playfully. 

"Says the one drawing hearts on me." 

"Shut up!" I said with a giggle, hitting him softly where I drew the hearts. 

"I'm going to miss this." He said with a resigned sigh, placing his lips on my forehead. 

"Bubble, remember?" I remind him, ignoring the lump in my throat and my heart thumping in my chest. 

"We can't stay here forever, Dani." 

"We can." I protest weakly. 

"We can't, sweetheart," He said begrudgingly, "You know we can't." 

"We have to talk now, don't we, Ash?" I said through the lump in my throat, looking up at him. 

"Yeah, we do."  
  
"Can't we just-" I tried but Ashton stopped me.   
  
"I wish we could..."   
  
"Where should we start?" I sighed, burying myself in Ashton's chest, as if that would protect me.   
  
"I don't know." He admitted, clutching me closer.   
  
"Do you know that Luke asked Christina to go on tour with him?" I said more than asked.   
  
"Did he really?" Ashton asked and I nodded, "I knew that Michael was bringing Reign, I didn't know about Luke."   
  
"Oh, Reign agreed to go on tour?"   
  
"Yeah! At first she didn't want to because of her parents but they talked it over and Reign thought that it would be good for them."   
  
"Do you think that Luke should bring Christina?" I asked, trying to see what Ashton's headspace was like.  
  
"Aren't they broken up?" Ashton asked me, running his finger up and down my arm.   
  
"Not exactly..."   
  
"What does that mean?"   
  
"From what Christina told me just now, they're trying again." I answered, looking up at Ashton.  
  
"It makes sense for them to want to try again," Ashton commented.   
  
"But do you think that it's a good idea?" I asked again, "They haven't had the best relationship and her going there with you guys..."   
  
"You don't think it's a good idea?"   
  
"I think that it's foolish for her to leave everything and go there based on a hunch that it might just work." I deadpanned.   
  
"I think that her going is a good idea." Ashton said, disagreeing with me, "They love each other and if they're  _really_  going to try then long distance wouldn't be the best idea, and her going with us would be."   
  
"I know that it isn't a good idea. Think about it Ash," I said moving away from his chest and looking at him, "They're still raw from everything that happened and if she does go with him where there are a million new challenges and not to mention Reign, all the feelings are just going to flood back. It won't work and she'll be back here, even more broken than before."   
  
"What do you think she should do?" He asked.   
  
"She should be friends with him, support him, be there for him," I said, with a heavy heart, "She shouldn't go with him. She should let him find his own path and make a name for himself."   
  
"Danielle, you're not going to do that with me, are you?" He deadpanned, holding eye contact with me.   
  
"Ashton..." I sighed, trailing off.   
  
"Don't."   
  
"Ash, I can't-" I started to say but he got off the bed in a huff, making me gasp.   
  
"Was this your plan all along?!" He screamed and I jumped back from the shock.  
  
"Ashton, please, let me-"   
  
"So what was that then?!" He screamed, voice getting louder, "One last fuck to remember me by!?"   
  
"Ash it isn't like that, if you would just-"   
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Dani?" He exclaimed, "Why the fuck is it then when everything is going fucking amazingly you have to screw it up somehow?!"   
  
The minute those words left his mouth, I could see that he regretted it. He deflated and ran his fingers through his hair. It was silent. Tension and words left unsaid filled the air, choking us.   
  
Through the lump in the throat and weight on my chest, I managed to mutter, "So that's what you really think of me."   
  
He sighed, "Dani you know I don't-"  
  
"If you didn't then you wouldn't have said it, Ash," I said, throwing the covers off my body and getting out of the bed.   
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
"I need to go." I said, grabbing my shorts from the floor and putting them on.   
  
"We need to talk." He said as I took his shirt off and put mine on.  
  
"I think you've said enough." I said, grabbing my bag and his shirt, walking towards the door.   
  
He scoffed and said, "This is so typical of you."   
  
"What?!" I spoke through gritted teeth, calming myself down as I turned around.   
  
"You run every fucking time it gets a little hard." He said, "You don't ride the storm out, you just leave and hope that the storm doesn't come back."   
  
"Anything else you want to get out of your system?" I said simply, forcing the tears to stay in, wanting to be strong.   
  
Ashton just stood there, chest heaving and eyes steely. I walked over to him and shoved the shirt in his chest before muttering, "Good luck in fucking Australia."   
  
I was walking down the hall and to the stairs when I heard a muffled thump followed by an exclamation of, "Fuck!" I shook my head in disappointment and trudged down the stairs while hoisting my bag on my shoulder.   
  
"Dani?" I heard from the top of the stairs and stopped to turn around.   
  
"Hey [Lauren](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_251/set?id=212428847)," I managed to get out, shooting her a small smile.   
  
"What happened?" She asked, walking down to come face to face with me.   
  
"Nothing, sweetie."   
  
"Don't lie to me." She deadpanned.   
  
"We just had a little disagreement, that's all." I sighed.  
  
"A little disagreement resulting in Ashton shouting?"   
  
"I can't do this right now, Laur," I said, voice breaking, "I need to go."   
  
I ran down the rest of the stairs and threw the door open. Just as I was out of the door I heard Lauren say, "Wait! Are you coming to the airport?"   
  
I said nothing as I ran to my car, throwing open the door and shoving my bag in the passengers seat, turning the car on and just driving. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to get the hell away from that house. I needed to go far away. If I could, I would've driven all the damn way to New York right to the front step of Julliard, where no one knew me and I knew no one. But I couldn't, so I didn't. I just drove, following the coast line, occassionally wiping away the stray tear.

I pulled over a quiet road and turned the car off. I took a couple of shaky breaths in, wiping away my anry tears and just screamed. I remember watching movies and seeing the main character just scream when everything was overwhelming and nothign was going the way they'd expected it to. I remember thinking how stupid that was. But right now, in this present moment, I completely understand where they are coming from. Screaming just helps get everything out. It's completely cathartic. Screaming just helps in a way that nothing else can. All your problems are just in the air now. It's absolutely primal but in the best way.   
  
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.   
  
My mantra was ruined by the ring of my phone. I answered it without looking.   
  
"Hello?" I greeted despite the scratch and burn of my throat.   
  
"Hey! So I just went to Lu-" Christina said on the other side but stopped mid sentence, "What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing." I said, resisting the urge to sniffle as I wiped away a couple of tears, "You were saying?"   
  
"Shut up and tell me what's wrong." She said and I caved.   
  
"Meet me at my place and we'll talk, okay?"   
  
"Be there in 5."   
  
I wiped my tears and started the car back up, turning the GPS on and following that home. I let the monotone, robotic voice drown out my thoughts and guide me to where I needed to go.   
  
"Hey kiddo!" Dad greeted as I walked inside, "I thought you were coming home after the airport?"   
  
"Yeah, well, things change." I mutter, going straight to my room, not wanting him to see my face. If he saw me, he would want to talk and knowing my dad, he would make me change my mind.   
  
~~~   
  
"So you  _really_  went through with it," Christina commented, chin resting on her knees that were up to her chest.   
  
"I did." [I said simply](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_259/set?id=213449373), tired from explaining everything to her.   
  
"And Ashton really said-"   
  
"He did."   
  
"Wow." Was all she could muster out.   
  
"Yup."   
  
"They're going to the airport in an hour." Christina reminded me.  
  
I nodded, "I know."  
  
"What are you going to do?" She asked.   
  
"I don't know."  
  
We were silent. None of us spoke a single word. The only thing that broke this glass  was the soft sounds of our breathing.   
  
"What about you and Luke?" I said, suddenly realising that I wasn't the only one with issues, "You told me you were going to his house. How did that go?"   
  
"I told him that I love him and will always support him," She said forlornly, "But I couldn't go with him."   
  
"I'm proud of you, Tee."   
  
"I wish I could say the same to you." Christina told me, looking at me expectantly.   
  
"I can't." Was all I could say.   
  
"You love him and you're putting him through all of this?!" She scoffed, "Is this payback for him bumping into you with ice cream the first day you met?"   
  
"I could same to you!" I defended, "You love Luke too and-"   
  
"It isn't the same thing, Danielle!" She screamed, "He fucking cheated on me! We can't be together because of that! We can't be together because we're not in a good place right now! You and Ashton are in this amazing relationship and now you're just leaving him when he needs you the most! It's different with Luke and I and you bloody know it is!"   
  
"I know and I'm sorry." I said, laying down on the bed, the pillow clutched to my chest, "I can't do this whole long distance thing."   
  
"It's hard." Christina agreed, laying beside me, "But it'll be worth it."  
  
"He needs to do this by himself, no strings attached."   
  
"He needs you." She said, turning her head to face me.   
  
"He's going to go to Australia and become famous and get loads and loads of attention and-"   
  
"What's your point?' Christina sighed.   
  
"He's going to forget about little old me in no time."   
  
"You do realise that he's insanely in love with you, right?" Christina said and I sighed.   
  
"Fame, stress and being surrounded by insanely gorgeous girls with accents can change a guys mind." I muttered.   
  
"He's not going to forget about you, Dani. He loves you; He is  _in love_  with  **you**! You're his whole world!" She stressed, "You don't just forget people like that."  
  
"Tee, I know you believe in this whole institution of love and I'm trying to as well, I mean there is no other way to explain how I feel about Ashton, but, Tee, I've watched people fall in love and I've watched them fall as easily out of love." I rambled, "I'm just scared that Ashton will fall out of love with me. That's why I need to do this. I don't want him to worry about me while he's there. He already hates me after hearing what I want to do. I need to let him go."   
  
"Being scared is natural, Dani," She comforted, "But if you choose to side with this fear of yours, you won't ever find love. Your fear will drive Ashton away and drive love away. But if you choose love, you will conquer this fear of yours."  
  
"I have to let him go, Christina." I said firmly.   
  
"I think you're making a really big mistake." She sighed, sitting up and looking at me with disappointment in her eyes.  
  
"We don't choose who we love, Tee," I said with teary eyes, "But we can choose when to walk away."   
  
"They leave for the airport in 10 minutes." She informed me.   
  
"I know."   
  
"Are you coming?" She asked, getting off the bed.   
  
"No." I answered.  
  
"You're not going to say goodbye?"   
  
"I think we've said enough to each other," I sighed.   
  
"He didn't mean anything he said, Dani. You know that, right?" She said with sadness in her voice.  
  
"If he didn't mean it, he wouldn't have said it."   
  
"He was hurt." Christina defended.   
  
"So am I."   
  
"You're going to regret not going," She warned.   
  
"I can't go, Tee." I said simply, turning away from her.   
  
"Fear is temporary, Dani," She said and I heard the door open, "But regret is forever."   
  
I completely deflated when I heard the front door shut and Christinas car engine rev. I buried my face in my pillow and pulled the sheets up. I let myself wallow in this miserable pool of sadness, feeling completely and utterly pathetic and self-pitying.   
  
"What was that about, sweetie?" I heard my day say from the door of my bedroom.   
  
"Can't a girl wallow in self pity for one second?!" I complained.   
  
"Not in my house, she can't," He said, trying to make light of the situation.   
  
I sigh and turn around, "The boys are leaving for the airport and I'm not going to say bye to any of them."  
  
"Why not?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.   
  
"Because what needed to be said has been said."   
  
"And who says that?" He teases.   
  
"Dad!" I whine.   
  
"This isn't the Danielle Walker I know," He comments.   
  
"And who is the Danielle Walker that you know?"   
  
"My Danielle Walker is strong, opinionated, self reliant, emotionally resillent, driven and definitely wouldn't take shit from anyone."   
  
"What are you trying to say, dad?" I sigh.  
  
"That this person who is wallowing and avoiding her problems, is definitely not you."   
  
"Dad, I can't-"   
  
"And another thing," He says, cutting me off without a care in the world, "You are definitely not the type of person who has the word 'can't' in her dictionary."   
  
"You don't understand-"   
  
"What don't I understand?" He says, cocking his eyebrow, "The fact that your boyfriend is going to the other side of the world to live out his dreams? The fact that you're terrified of what this means for you and him as a couple? The fact that you want him to succeed but are scared that this relationship will be a hindrance to that?"  
  
"Yeah, that," I mutter, "You don't understand that."   
  
"I know exactly what you feel, Dani." He says with a knowing smile.   
  
"How?"   
  
"Call it father's intuition."   
  
"I'd rather call it eavesdropping." I tease with a small smile.   
  
"Talk to me, sweetheart."   
  
"I don't want him to leave," I confess in small voice, "Does that make me a bad person, dad?"   
  
"No, sweetie," He says, sitting on the bed and putting his arm around me, "It makes you human."  
  
"Are you going to convince me to be with Ashton too?" I ask, leaning into my fathers embrace.   
  
"I'm not going to convince you to do anything," He says, "Just here to talk it out until..."   
  
"Until what?"   
  
"Until you're happy."   
  
"What if I'm never happy again?" I say dramatically.  
  
"Then we'll stay here and talk forever."  
  
"Now what?" I say after a beat of silence.   
  
"What do you want to do?" He asks calmly.   
  
"What should I do or what do I want to do?"   
  
"Is there a difference?" He asks as if he already knows the answer.   
  
"A big one." I say with a nod.   
  
"And what is that?"   
  
"What I want to do is sit here and wait till its time to leave for Julliard."   
  
"And what do you think you should do?"   
  
"Go say bye to the boys at the airport and talk to Ashton." I sigh, pulling the blanket up my body.  
  
"What are you going to do?" My dad asks.   
  
"I don't know, dad. I don't know."   
  
"Do you think you're unsure because you don't know what you want to say to Ashton?"   
  
"Yeah." I answer.   
  
"The way I see it, you can either sit here and imagine a million different scenarios of what you would say, or you can go to the airport and face it head on."   
  
"But what will I say?"   
  
"You'll know the right thing to say when you see him yourself." He said with a knowing smile. "So what're you going to do, Dani?"   
  
"What do you think I should do?" I asked him.   
  
"I think you should follow your heart," He said.  
  
"Why can't you parents just give us straight answers?!" I complained, getting off the bed.   
  
"It's more fun not to," He teased. "So, what do you want to do?"  
  
"I don't know." 

~~~  
  
"Ashton, she's going to be here," Luke said, annoyed that my eyes were glued to the door, "Stop looking at the damn door."   
  
"You don't know that dude," I sighed, "We had a pretty big fight and she just stormed off."   
  
"She's probably with Christina and you know how Tee is always late." Luke comforted, "Chill the hell out."   
  
"There's only 20 minutes left till we have to go through security, Luke," I said, jittery, "What if they don't make it."   
  
"They'll be here any second, Ash," Luke said, rolling his eyes at my antics.   
  
"You know what they say about watched pots, right Ash?" Calum says in a mischievious tone, "Pretty sure the same applies to doors."   
  
"Jokes on you, Cal," Michael chimes, "Doors don't boil."   
  
"You're worrying for nothing, man," Luke said as he points to the airport gate, "Look, I see Christina!"  
  
"Where?!" I practically scream, pushing Michael and Calum so that I could see better.   
  
"Right there! In the pink shirt!" Luke says, pointing her out in the crowd, before waving his hand to her, "Hey, Tee!"   
  
"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late. I got held up," She said, trailing off.   
  
"Where is Danielle?" I asked immediately, cutting everyone else off before they could get a chance to talk.   
  
"I'm sorry, Ash..." She said regretfully, "I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen."   
  
"What did she say?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair in frustration.   
  
"Nothing you don't already know," Christina said, trying to brush it off but it was obvious that she was doing this as to not hurt my feelings.   
  
"Tell me honestly, Tee," I said, "Did she not come because of what I said to her?"   
  
"You mean the fight?"   
  
"Yeah, that." I said with a sigh.   
  
"It contributed slightly." She admitted, "But she had already made up her mind."   
  
"Fuck!" I cursed, "I fucking that the last words I said to her weren't even ones that I meant!"   
  
"You can't blame yourself, Ash," Christina comforted, "She already had a plan in her mind-"   
  
"Yeah, but I could've talked it out rather than screaming and hurling insults at her!"   
  
"Ash!" Luke admonished, getting up from his seat and standing by Christina, "Just because you're angry doesn't mean you can take it out on Christina."   
  
"Sorry, Tee," I apologised, "I just-"   
  
"It's alright, Ashton," She said with a sympathetic glance, "I understand."  
  
"You guys go ahead," I said with a wave and small smile, "Don't let me ruin your moment."   
  
"She really does love you," Christina said, "She's just really stubborn."   
  
"I'll say," I joked, "I just  _had_  to fall in love with the most stubborn girl in the world."   
  
Christina let out a little laugh before taking Luke's outstretched hand and walking to the coffee shop for a last goodbye. I watched as Michael and Reign discussed plans for Australia animatedly, laughing without a care in the world. I watched as Luke and Christina who despite not being together, were acting like they did while they were a couple. I knew that despite their relationship status and efforts to not be together, they were still very much in love. I turned my head and saw Calum doing what he did best, flirt with everything that moves. I smiled at his antics that I knew wouldn't die, not even in Australia.   
  
 _"This is the boarding call for flight QA1560 to Sydney, Australia. Please proceed to Gate 3 for boarding. Flight QA1560 to Sydney, Australia, please proceed to Gate 3 for boarding. Thank you."_  
  
"Guess, that's our cue boys," Michael called from his seat, practically bouncing with excitement.   
  
"Everything is going to change, guys," Calum said, falling in step with Michael who was walking up to where I was.   
  
"You guys are going to sell out arena's and world tours and you're going to win VMAs and Grammys and-" Christina started to ramble excitedly.   
  
"I think you're more excited than us!" Luke joked, clutching his passport tightly.  
  
"What I mean to say is," She said with a sad smile, "Is that...Just don't forget about us little people, okay?"   
  
"I'll never forget you," Luke said, grabbing her hand in his.   
  
"Get a room, you two!" Calum scoffed.   
  
"Ready, boys?" Michael said.   
  
The other two boys answered fervently, but I couldn't stop staring at the door with the smallest sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, she would come running in like they do in the movies.   
  
"She's not coming, man," Calum said regretfully with a hand on my shoulder.   
  
And he was right. This isn't the movies, or a book; it's real life. And in real life, these things don't happen. She had her time to come, and she didn't. I guess, that's one regret I'll carry with me forever.   
  
"Ready." I finally answered, turning my back to the door and walking with the rest of the group to the gate (or well, until where Christina could go, which was till security). We walked up to security and the lady started to check people's passports and their boarding pass, one by one letting people into the plane. I was getting antsy, still holding on to that miniscule possibility that any second now, Danielle would come running to say goodbye.

One by one by one by one by one, people kept getting let on the plane. I felt this wave of emotion wash over me that could only be described as fear and anxiety. But still she wasn't here. She wasn't coming and I couldn't grasp that fact. Reign was first in line to get clearance to board the plane. She waited for Michael, who was right behind her, with a huge grin on her face. She took his hand and they walked excitedly to the plane. Calum flashed the security lady a charming smile and thanked her before walking off himself, with a triumphant smile on his face. Luke handed the lady his passport and boarding pass but never once let his eyes drift from Christina's sad expression. It was clear that she was trying to be strong, but there was no hiding her tears that were building up in her eyes.   
  
"Sir, please proceed to the aircraft," The lady said, pushing Luke along. He walked to the bridge reluctantly, stopping to wave at her.   
  
"Bye, Luke." I heard her mumble, shooting him a small smile, "I love you."   
  
"Your passport and boarding pass, please." The lady said, holding her palm out. I placed it in her hand, looking back one last time just to check, for my peace of mind. But disappointingly - nothing. Not even a shadow.   
  
"Enjoy your flight, sir." The lady said with a tired smile.   
  
"I will," I said, glancing back just one last time, "Have a nice day."   
  
"Remember that she loves you, Ash," Christina said, "And she knows that you love her too."   
  
"Just wish she was here to tell me that." I muttered to myself, before telling her, "I'll text you when we land."   
  
I waved goodbye to Christina and walked to the bridge, looking at the hall one last time before completely giving up. I sighed, and continued walking, trying my hardest not to think about all of the memories that I made in the many, many years that I lived here.   
  
There was suddenly a loud sound that I couldn't quite put my finger on before I heard muffled pleading. I looked back but couldn't see anything.   
  
"You don't under-" I managed to hear but shrugged it off and continued walking. "ASHTON!" I heard and I stopped in my tracks. That sounded like...No. It couldn't be...Could it?   
  
"Ma'am you have to-"   
"I would if you just **let me go**!"   
  
I walked back to the security lady and my eyes went wide.   
  
"Look I know this is incredibly cliched, but he's leaving and we didn't really have the best goodbye so please-"   
  
"You do realise this is an airport and not a Nicholas Sparks novel, right ma'am?!" The lady said in an annoyed voice.   
  
"I thought you weren't coming," I managed to get out.   
  
"What can I say, I'm dramatic; after all, I am going to Julliard," Danielle said with a little laugh.   
  
"That explains a lot," The security lady mumbled.   
  
"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that." Dani said, grappling to get her hand back from the lady.   
  
"Can I say goodbye?" I asked the lady and she sighed but nodded.   
  
"5 minutes!" She warned, "The plane will leave with or without you."   
  
I walked over to her and dropped my hand carry, enveloping Danielle in a bear tight hug that she reciprocated.  
  
"I thought you weren't coming," I said almost breathless.   
  
"I wasn't going to," She said in a small, almost embarrassed voice, "But I could never forgive myself if I didn't."   
  
"I am so so sorry for what I sa-" I started to say, pulling away from the hug but she brushed it off.   
  
"It's alright. I would've done worse if I'm being honest."   
  
"The bubble's popped." I said with an empty, regretful laugh.   
  
"It popped a long time ago, Ash," She said with a sad smile, "We just didn't want to admit it."   
  
"We have to talk now." I informed her.   
  
"We have to define our whole relationship in 3 minutes," She said, barking out in laughter, "If that doesn't define us, I don't know what will."   
  
"We're unconventional that way." I said, trying to ignore the fact that we had to talk.   
  
"I'm not changing my mind about us, Ash," She said after a beat of silence.   
  
"We _can_  make us work, Dani." I said in almost a begging tone. I can't do this without her, I know I can't. She's my rock. "You mean everything to me!"  
  
"Ash, you're the one who has changed me for the better. You gave me happiness and the ability to love and believe in something more than myself. Hell, you gave me real friends, you even gave me my dad back. Ashton Irwin, you have done more for me than you can imagine and I love you so, so much," She said with tears pooling in her eyes, "And that is why I have to let you go."   
  
"Dani, you-"   
  
"If I don't Ash then I'm being selfish," She said, wiping away a tear, "I'm not going away, Ashton. I just..."  
  
"I love you, Danielle." I said, leaning down and capturing her lips with mine in one last kiss. We moved like water, so used to each other, but wanting to capture this moment, to memorise each other passionately, fervishly. This kiss was one filled with love and words left unsaid.  
  
"I don't understand why you're doing this, Dani." I said, pulling away.   
  
"You will," She said, holding her ground, "Sooner or later, you will."   
  
"Just promise me one thing." I told her.   
  
"Anything."   
  
"Don't forget me."   
  
"Who can forget a love like you," She said with a small smile.   
  
"I love you." I said as if those were my last words, even though I knew they wouldn't be.   
  
"You have to board now, sir." The security lady informed us in a slightly annoyed but understanding voice.   
  
"You'll be great, Ash." Danielle said, clasping her hands together.   
  
"Will you still love me if I fail?" I asked her, picking my hand carry up and hoisting it on my shoulders.   
  
"I know you won't." She said with a smile.   
  
"How?"  
  
"Because I believe in you." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.   
  
"Dani!" I said just before the lady sealed off the bridge entrance.   
  
"Yeah, Ash?" She answered in a thick voice.   
  
"What's your favourite song?"   
  
She let out a sad, broken laugh that sounded like a sob and while wiping a tear away she answered, reenacting our first conversation, "I don't have a favourite, it changes based on my mood."   
  
"It still doesn't answer my question." I said with a smile, remembering our first meeting.   
  
"Beautiful Goodbye by Maroon 5." She answered.   
  
"Sir, you have to board the plane now."   
  
"I love you!" I told her one last time, just in case.   
  
"I know."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND OMG I AM LITERALLY WRITING THE DANIELLE AND ASHTON AIRPORT SCENE WHERE THEY SAY GOODBYE AND HOLLLLLLY SHIT MY SPOTIFY PLANS ON MURDERING ME EMOTIONALLY. UNSTEADY BY X AMBASSADORS AND ERICH LEE IS PLAYING AND THE TEARS ARE JUST FLOWING. I NEED A MINUTE. 
> 
> WHY DOES SPOTIFY HATE ME?! FOR ALL MY INDIAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. MY SPOTIFY DECIDED TO PLAY TERI KHAIR MANGDI AND IM STILL WRITING THE DANIELLE/ASHTON SCENE. MY HEART IS BROKEN. (FYI teri khair mangdi means I wish your well being. Im linking the song and the translation here if you're interested.)
> 
> I CAN'T HELP IT GUYS! I AM ONLY HUMAN! KABIRA IS PLAYING (its a hindi song) THE TEARS ARE REAL GUYS I REALLY CANNOT! WHY DOES SPOTIFY HAVE TO TORTURE ME LIKE THIS. IT'S THE SADDEST SCENE THAT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN AND THIS HAPPENS! (lyrics and translation are linked. Trust me, you will cry buckets when you hear the song. it's the most loved song of the indian community. Deepika Padukone is in it!)
> 
> Hey guys! 
> 
> Yes, that was a little glimpse of me writing ahahaha. So if you made it this far, THANK YOU! I would have never finished this story without you guys! 
> 
> There is still one chapter left - The Epilogue (I don't really know if this is a chapter, but yeah one last last one then it's really The End.) 
> 
> I could write a whole essay about how much I am grateful for your support and constant reviews and reads and I really cannot you guys! I am so overwhelmed. It is currently 3.45am here and I am sobbing bc everything!
> 
> Before I forget, (because when I am writing end notes my thoughts are frantically jnust running in my mind at a billion different speeds and I tend to ramble, like what i am doing right now) HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! 
> 
> What are your resolutions? Mine is to write more, lose weight and keep a dream journal, oh and to also save every $5 I come across. 
> 
> As usual, I hope you had as much reading this as I have writing it! Fun fact: I spent a week on this chapter! I started right after my exams. 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts! Or tell me anything at all! Right now, I am thinking of the big ass oreo cookie chocolate bar thing that my cousin got me but like i cant eat it bc diet which sucks because my brother rubs it in my face that im on a diet and he isnt
> 
> I love you guys! 
> 
> I don't know why i had to say that, I just did ahaha.


	38. Chapter 38

"4 years, 3 albums and 2 world tours all because of 1 viral video. Please put your hands together for...5 Seconds of Summer!" The interviewer announced. Screams echoed all around the whole studio as the boys came out one by one. The live studio audience cheered, screamed and even cried at a glimpse of the boys. 

"Good morning boys!" She said in a cheery tone. 

"Hello!" 

"How are you guys feeling?" She asked as they took a seat, the cue cards firm in her perfectly manicured fingers. 

"We're feeling brilliant!" Calum said with a charming grin, "And yourself?" 

"I'm great, thanks!" She said with a smile, "So let me start by asking you boys how it all started." 

"Well, it all started with this competition that we took part in just for fun." Luke said with a nostalgic smile, "We didn't even care about winning really, we just wanted to perform." 

"And did you win?" The interviewer asked. 

"No we didn't," Luke answered with a laugh, "But it all worked out in the end because apparently there was a talent scout there and he really liked us." 

"And here you are!" She exclaimed. 

"Here we are." Luke said with a smile. 

"So, your new album is out!" The interviewer exclaimed and the audience burst out with cheers, "Congratulations, boys!" 

"Thank you!" They exclaimed in unison with a grin on their faces. 

"Talk me through the writing process and how you make your songs." She said. 

"Admittedly we have a sort of strange writing process." Michael said with a little laugh, "So what happens is that we split up in two and write a song. Then we play it for everyone and go from there." 

"Have any of you not liked a song?" 

"Yeah, actually, a couple of times." Calum answered. 

"What happens then?" She asked, curiosity written all over her face. 

"We try to see if we can either improve it or else we just scrap it." Calum answered frankly. 

"Who would you say is the harshest with criticisms?" The interviewer asked. 

"Luke, definitely!" Michael answered with a laugh. 

"I wouldn't say he was the harshest!" Calum defended, "He's...honest." 

"Hey!" Luke protested, "I'm not the harshest!" 

"Am I witnessing the break up of 5 Seconds of Summer?!" The interviewer joked. 

"You heard it first on Channel 4!" Luke jokingly announces, "5 Seconds of Summer is officially broken up." 

"Let's talk about your new album." The interviewer said, reaching over to get a copy. "This is your third album as a band. What's different?" 

"We have grown up and matured quite a bit and our fans have as well." Luke said, "And with this new album we really tackle the heavier subjects." 

"Yeah, I think so too." Calum agrees with a nod, "It's not just about heartbreak or love anymore. This album is about personal experiences and fighting a war bigger than just us." 

"Basically it's the best album ever made and you guys should totally get it!" Michael said. 

"I just want to come back to what Calum said about personal experiences," The interviewer pointed out, "What do you mean by that?" 

"Do you mind if I answer that?" Ashton said. 

"By all means..." The interviewer coaxed. 

"I know I'm not the only one to ever experience divorce or parents fighting or things like that," Ashton answered, "There is one song in there that is incredibly close to my heart because it's based on true events and that's what this album is really about - Songs that people can relate to." 

"Are all your songs based on personal experiences?" 

"I would say about 90%." Ashton said, turning to boys for confirmation. 

"Let's talk about personal relationships!" The interviewer announced with a clap of her hands, "Michael you are in a relationship and have been for a long time - Am I right?" 

"Yes I have!" He answered with a grin, "Reign has been with me since we moved to Australia." 

"And what about the rest of you?" She asked with a cheeky grin. 

"Happily single." Calum answered with a smile. 

"Not ready to mingle yet?" The interviewer teased. 

"Who knows what could happen?" Calum answered vaguely with a cheeky smile on his face. 

"Luke you have been quite public with your recent engagement to famous fashion designer Christina Milton." The interviewer said, "Congratulations by the way." 

"Thank you!" Luke said with a grin, "We are very very happy." 

"When's the wedding?" She asked. 

"In a couple of weeks actually." Luke said with a nervous smile, "It's going to be in our hometown." 

"I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that we cannot wait!" 

"Neither can we." Luke said. 

"What about you, Ashton?" The interviewer moved on, "Any love in your life?" 

"Not recently, no." He answered with somewhat of a sad smile. 

"Rumour has it that the bands hit single 'Wherever You Are' was written only by you." She stated, "Care to comment?" 

"I wrote that on a plane, the day that we flew to Australia to start this whole journey, actually." Ashton answered with a nostalgic smile, "I lost it somewhere and Luke found it last year." 

"That is probably the only single that we released where only one person in the band worked on it alone." Michael said. 

"Did you edit it at all?" The interviewer asked.

"Not even a little." Calum confirmed. 

"Was there anyone in mind while writing it?" She asked, hoping to get some scoop.

"Isn't there always." Ashton said flashing a small smile. 

"She must've been very special for you to write about." 

"She is." 

~~~ 

"Tyler please!" [She pleaded ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=215036733)with tears stinging his eyes. 

"Answer me!" He screamed, hands balling into fists by his sides. 

"He's no one!" She said in a hoarse voice. 

"If he was no one then why the hell are his pictures in your phone!" He accused, palm slamming down on the counter top. 

"He doesn't mean anything! Please just-" She tried but he was having none of it. 

"Don't lie to me!" He screamed. "Who the hell is he?!" 

"He was my-" 

"Your what?!" He growled, eyes filled with fire. 

"He was my boyfriend but-" 

"But what?!" He screamed, "Are you not over him? Is that why you have pictures of the both of you in your phone?!"

"Tyler..Please just-" 

"I can't do this right now." He scoffed, grabbing his jacket from the bar stool and walking out of the front door. She sobbed, dropping her head down and covering it with her palms. 

" _And that is a wrap!"_  The director called out, clapping his hands, "Good job everyone! See you guys at 9am tomorrow!" 

"Hey, Dani!" He called out, jogging towards her. 

"Hey Derek!" She said with a smile, "That was a great scene." 

"Thanks!" He said, "You were brilliant as well." 

"We do have great chemistry." She teased, "So, what's up?" 

"Do you want to maybe grab a bite to eat or something?" Derek asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh I would love to!" Danielle said, "But I already have plans. Raincheck?" 

"Raincheck." He replied with a disappointed smile. 

"See you tomorrow, Derek!" 

~~~

"Just because you're a famous actor now, does not give you the right to be late!" Christina scolded as [Danielle](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_274/set?id=215078710) walked over to the table. 

"Please forgive me, [Christina Milton](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_273/set?id=215072456) soon to be Hemmings." Danielle said dramatically. 

"You're forgiven," Christina said, trying to ignore the flutter in her heart. 

"I can't believe the wedding is next week!" Danielle exclaimed, "Where did the time go?!" 

"I know, right!" Christina echoed, "I feel like Luke proposed just yesterday!" 

"Did you get your plane ticket situation solved?" Danielle asked, poking her salad. 

"I finally did!" Christina sighed with relief, "I fly out day after tomorrow." 

"I'm going tomorrow after the shoot." Danielle told her. 

"Can you handle the flower situation?" Christina begged. 

"Already did on the way here." 

"You're the best maid of honour ever!" 

"I am, aren't I?" Danielle bragged with a smug look on her face. 

"Did you listen to the interview the boys gave today?" Christina asked in a no nonsense tone. 

"I was busy shooting." Danielle said, a little annoyed. 

"How long are you going to avoid this?" Christina asked. 

"I'm not avoiding anything, Tee." Danielle sighed. 

"What are you going to do when you see him?" Christina said more than asked, "Are you just going to ignore him or go out of your way to avoid him?" 

"I don't know what I'm going to do." Danielle admitted.

"Talking about it might help." Christina offered. 

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Danielle said with a small smile. 

"You know he's been single all this time, don't you?" Christina said rather than asked. 

"No one asked him not to date," Danielle said, suddenly finding her plate of food more interesting. 

"No one told you not to date either, but you still didn't." 

"I didn't because I was too focused on Julliard and then the movie deals." Danielle said, making an excuse. 

"Some might even call that a convinient excuse," Christina teased. 

"It's the truth." Danielle insisted in a shaky voice. 

"He misses you." Christina told her. 

"You don't know that." Danielle said in a soft voice. 

"Luke does and he told me." Christina said.

"We're meant to be talking about your wedding, not Ashton and I." Danielle said, changing the subject.

"You're going to have to talk about this sooner or later." Christina warned. 

"I choose later." 

~~~

He stood outside the door debating whether or not to knock. He felt like a teenager again. The anxiety filled him and he didn't know what to do. He wanted so desperately to knock and play out the scene that he had been creating for the past 4 years in his head. He took a deep breath and knocked before he could think about it any longer. He heard a muffled clanging of dishes followed by shuffling that got louder. 

"Hello sir." He greeted politely when the door opened up. 

"Ashton Irwin." He said in a proud voice. 

"Yes sir." Ashton said, not knowing what else to say. 

"Come in, son." He said, opening the door wider and letting him in. 

"Thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Robin." He said with a smile, "I don't think we need formalities at this stage. 

"Of course, si-Robin." Ashton said awkwardly, standing around with his hand in his pocket, playing with some lint in between his fingers. 

"What can I do for you, son?" He asked the younger boy. 

"I was just wondering if by any chance, Danielle has come home yet.." Ashton said more than asked, standing in front of the older man as if he were bearing his soul. 

"She's due back tonight." He answered with a small knowing smile. 

"Oh." Ashton exclaimed, not knowing what else to say, "I guess I'll get out of your hair then." 

"Ashton." The older man said, stopping him in his tracks. 

"Yes, sir?" 

"Just so you know," He told the boy, "I was rooting for both of you." 

"Thank you." Ashton said simply, ignoring the pang in his heart, "I was too." 

"You miss her don't you?" He asked him. 

"More and more everyday." Ashton said honestly. 

"She misses you, too." 

Ashton wanted to ask a million questions then - How was she? I've watched all her movies, TV spots, guest appearances, videos, interviews. Are you as proud as I am? Does she still talk about me? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she eating well? Does she still smile like she used to? Is she having fun? Is she happy? 

But he didn't. 

He simply gave her father a small smile and thanked him before leaving the house.

~~~

"Dad! I'm home!" [Danielle called out](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=215089693) as she opened the front door eagerly.

"That seems to be the pattern today." Her father mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen, "Hello sweetheart! I am so happy to see you." 

"I missed you, dad!" She said, hugging her father tightly. 

"I missed you too, sweetie." He said earnestly. 

"So, what did I miss?" She asked, plopping herself down on the couch. 

"Well, Nathan is grounded because he failed his math test, I'm making lasagne for dinner, Ashton came back in the morning, I'm thinking of redecorating and-" 

"What did you just say?" Danielle asked, feeling as though a bucket of ice cold water had just been poured on her. 

"I'm thinking of redecorating..." Her father tried. 

"Be-before that." She said. 

"I'm making lasagne for dinner..." He tried again. 

"After that." She said, running out of patience. 

"Ashton's back." He said quietly. 

"Yeah...That's the one..." She said in a voice barely above a whisper. 

"He misses you, you know." Her father said, putting a reassuring arm around her. 

"How do you know that?" She asked, looking at him with tears in her eyes. 

"Call it a paternal instinct." He said with a knowing smile. "Come on, let's have dinner." 

"Aren't you going to tell me to talk to him or to meet him?" She asked as he got off the couch. 

"No." He said with a smile. 

"Why not?" 

"Because you already know what you're going to do and I've run out of inspiring things to say." He said with a shrug. 

~~~

"Hey dad!" Danielle called out from her room. 

"What is it, sweetie?" He answered lovingly. 

"I'm going for a walk! I'll be back soon." 

She knew where she was going from the second she stepped out the door. She didn't even need to stop or think about where she was going - It was like muscle memory. Her legs just knew where to go and she just went with it, embracing the feel of the wind on her soft, tanned skin and the way the supple sand took her weight with each step. She was there before she even knew it. She was smiling without even knowing it. It was as if a film was playing in her mind of all the memories she made on this rock. She's had fights, love confessions, many many makeout sessions and even heart-to-heart conversations here. 

She climbed up the rock, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. She was so taken up with her thoughts and the flashbacks that she didn't even realise that he was standing three feet behind her. 

He was so in awe of her. She hadn't changed. She's still the Danielle Walker that he's so in love with. That same smile, the same silky curly brown hair, those legs that go on for days and the same love for the water. She was still her, despite the fame and fortune. He didn't know what to say to her. How could he articulate four years of scenarios that he planned in his head into one sentence. 

"Dani." He breathed out a sudden weight on his chest. He watched as she turned around and had a myriad of emotions in a split second. She went from a smile to surprise to fear and then...blank. 

"Ashton." 

"Hey, Rolling Stones." He said with a smile on his face, realising that she was wearing a rolling stones shirt, just like she did on the first day they met. 

"I would call you Boardshorts but you're wearing jeans," She teased with a small smile on her face. 

"I could go home and change if you want..." He offered with a mischievious grin on his face. 

"That would take too long. You know how you are," She said with a little laugh to try and break the tension.

"Can I...?" He asked, pointing to the rock. She nodded and scooted over to make place. They settled into an awkward silence. "How are you?" Ashton asked sincerely.

"I'm great!" She said with a smile, "What about you?" 

"I've toured the world, gotten to play sold out arena's, made 3 albums, two of which have gone Platinum." He told her, "How do you think I am?" 

"Happy, I hope." She said confidently. 

"You didn't call, or text, or anything!" He accused. She had to look away, she couldn't stand looking into his eyes that were full of sadness. 

"You're successful." She said, "I'm so happy for you." 

"You said that I would understand why we had to break up sooner or later." He said curtly, ignoring what she said, "I still don't." 

"You had no strings, Ashton." She tried to explain, "You were in Australia and you had no one holding you down. Look how many tours you did! Look at your records and awards and the millions of screaming fans you have!" 

"What does that have to do with us?!" He demanded to know. 

"You couldn't have done it if you had a long distance girlfriend that was studying on the other end of the world, Ashton!" She finally let out. 

"Luke and Christina made it work, Michael and Reign made it work," He told her before dropping his voice down, "Why couldn't we?" 

"Michael had Reign with him all the time, Ashton!" She said, "Luke and Christina made it work after two years! Don't forget that this was after Christina moved to Australia to do her internship. You guys were recording your second album then - of course they would work!" 

"You didn't even let us try!" He said, "We could've done it!" 

"We ended it so damn well, Ashton!" She told him, "We were happy when we ended our relationship. We got to do it face to face and not over some screen! What more could you want?!" 

"I want you!" He shouted. 

"You're just saying that, Ashton." She dismissed with a humourless laugh.

"I'm not and you know it!" 

"God, Ashton!" She said, getting off the rock and raked her hair with her fingers, "I don't understand what amusement you get from this." 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confused by what she was saying. 

"We don't talk for 4 years and here you are telling me you want me." She barks, "You are literally surrounded by gorgeous models and girls every single day!" 

"I'm not over you." He says simply. 

"Shut up!" She demands, not able to take his lies. 

"You think this is easy for me?!" He screams, looking at her, "I'm in love with you and you..." 

"You're not in love with me, Ashton!" She says with a roll of her eyes. 

"Everywhere I go I only see your face, Danielle!" He says, "When I'm playing on stage, I see you cheering me on in the front row. When we're doing interviews, it's you asking me the questions! When we're recording in the studio I see you outside the booth, jamming out to one of our songs. Even when I'm on the damn plane, I see you next to me. Tell me how I'm not in love with you." 

"You can't just come back after four years and-" She tries to say with tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. 

"And do what, Dani? Tell you what you already know?!" 

"I can't do this, Ashton." She says simply. 

"You're running again." He scoffs, "I don't know what else I expected. God! I've played this exact scene over and over in my head. The only difference is that you were always telling me that you love me back." 

"You don't think this is killing me inside?!" She screams, pushing his chest, "I've been fucking empty for the last four years! The only thing that's kept me going was seeing you so fucking happy on red carpets and interviews and watching your face light up in concerts and when meeting-" 

He pulled her close and smashed his lips on hers. It was as if they were never apart. He felt his stomach lurch and his skin burn as they moved over each other, pulling each other closer, harder, memorising every detail as though this was their last interaction. The passion never left them. It was like coming home. The void that they had in their chest filled back up as lips moved over lips and hands were frantically clutching the other closer, as if that were even possible. 

She pulled away first, chest heaving. His forehead rested on hers as he panted and tried to resist a grin. He felt whole again. Their eyes were still closed. Neither of them wanted to let go. 

"I love you." He said simply. 

"I know." She replied, a tear falling onto the thumb on her cheek. 

"Don't make me let you go again." He begged, "I can't handle that." 

"I know." She replied, as his thumb caressed her cheek. 

"What now, Dani?" He asked, hoping that he would get the answer that he wanted. 

"I can't let you go, Ashton." She said, finally looking into his honey coloured eyes through her blurry ones, "My heart can't handle this anymore." 

"Are you mine again?" He asked, voice full of hope and eyes filled with happiness. 

"I was never anyone else's." She answered with a smile. 

 

 

 

_THE END._


End file.
